I Don't Have Anything
*The song is owned by VAST, the story by Frank Herbert. I'm only using the characters. SO NO FLAMES!!!!!*
Irulan looked down across the desert, feeling a sense of hopelessness. She knew that her husband hadn't loved her, but she still loved him, even after he had gone into the desert. She felt empty, devoid even of grief. While she had been his wife in name, she hadn't been his real wife. That was what hurt the most.
*I stood on mountaintops that overlooked the world*
*I can't find anything, except a void inside*
*I went to places where I could forget your name*
*I can't find anything, except a void inside*
Wiping a tear off her cheek, she thought, "It's useless to shed water for the dead." Paul was gone, swallowed by the desert. Since the stone burner had taken his sight, she had hoped to comfort him, but that task had been taken over by Chani. He hadn't wanted her comfort.
His words haunted her, the last words he had ever spoken to her: "It's ironic, but your sad, pathetic attempts to father an Imperial heir actually prolonged Chani's life. And for that, I'm grateful. Forever." The kiss he had placed on her lips was to be the first and the last she would ever get from him.
*I don't have anything, because I don't have you*
*I don't have anything*
She had been transported to Sietch Tabr after Chani's death, the royal twins now her responsibility. She felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at the hand that she had played in the concubine's death. She had genuinely liked Chani, and she secretly damned the Bene Gesserit for forcing her hand.
*What can I buy to make the sky turn blue again?*
*Where can I go to feel alive again?*
*Show me the places where I can forget your name*
*I can't find anything, except a void inside*
Paul is what she regretted the most. Maybe if she hadn't been so aloof and stiff around him, he may have shown her a little affection. She hadn't wanted his heart, (maybe she had, she couldn't really say) but she had wanted to be a part of his life. He hadn't wanted her in life, but she vowed to be a good role model for his children, named Leto and Ghanima.
*I don't have anything, because I don't have you*
*I don't have anything*
Looking over the twins, she felt a twinge of envy. 'These should've been my children to him,' she thought, but she instantly put that thought away.
Stilgar had informed her that they were pre-born, like their aunt Alia. If so, that could prove to be a problem. Irulan knew that Alia dabbled in the spice trance, and that she tried to see as Paul had seen. Irulan also knew that that path would prove to be her undoing. The pre-born are possessed. All the ancient Bene Gesserit warnings filtered through her mind, eliciting a small shiver.
*I've been stripped of everything, except some flesh that bleeds*
*I've been robbed of everything, except a soul, except a soul that needs*
*You, sweet you*
Irulan sighed, knowing that her thoughts would gain her nothing, that Paul was gone, never to return. In the way of the Fremen, Shai-Halud had come for Paul, and he was now a part of the desert.
Her heart ached for what she had lost, but she had also gained something. She had gained the privilege of being a mother and mentor to the children. Vowing to do so, she left the cliff and went into the sietch, to the children that had unwittingly become hers.
*I don't have anything, because I don't have you*
*I don't have anything*