The (Malevolent) Wizard Of Oz
Heero felt extremely pleased with his idea as the night sank slowly around the travellers; Trowa had proven himself to be quite a kindred spirit as neither spoke much. Duo's aim was dead accurate though, so he'd had to blink quite a few times to remove the lacerations the power orbs left on his body. But, although the annoying warlock had stripped his grunts and narrative monotone from him, his ability to recover from all mortal wounds was still readily available. If he wasn't so dull, perhaps he would have laughed in a manner different to his creepy victory laugh, but he was so his throat emitted no noise. Relena had gradually stopped screaming her voice hoarse with Heero's name, as she found Duo a rather amiable character, always willing to assist her with her hair problems, even though she objected greatly with his attempts to kill Heero. When they weren't in a heated discussion on how to make your hair look really smooth and shiny in your braid without damaging the strands with appliances and products, she privately engaged in conversation with her empty candyfloss stick, describing how she intended to get Heero to notice her without hurting herself in such a tone she was unheard by the others. This god of hers stored the knowledge away, preparing to avenge the hours of boredom from which it suffered by listening to her when they reached the Sanc Kingdom, and then she would fall victim to the almighty powers of the thin piece of wood. Oh yes, the wood thought, how she would pay…
Relena's fear of the mobile suits snapping into life as nightfall arrived caused the weary travellers to look for somewhere suitable to sleep whilst they continued to wander. Trowa kept tripping up and falling into the gaping holes in the Mobile Suit Road, but this was not a problem as he was a trained trapeze artist after all. After around twenty minutes of Relena's endless shrieks and Trowa's screams as the floor fell from beneath his feet, Duo spotted a cottage in the distance with his keen warlock vision. There were no lights on, so it was miraculous he saw it at all, and in case there *was* someone living inside it, the brave braided warrior had a back up plan in the form of a cherry orb in his right fist. It was not required; the cottage was completely empty for the duration of the night.
They all agreed that there must be a sort of schizophrenic psychopath residing in the hut, owing to the odd décor in the tiny place. One side of each room was filled with lovely items like roses in full bloom, the other containing chains, guns and any weapon that could cause general mayhem. The pleasant side tended to be a deep royal blue whereas the evil sections consisted of a burgundy red. Everything was bigger on the quieter side, as if the person required something to ease their eyesight. And for some reason, the pink ribbons were on the floor in the psychotic side, or folded neatly on the other side of the rooms. The whole matter was very strange indeed.
They each had trouble sleeping that night; Heero lay awake wondering when he'd get his grunts and lack of tones back. He really was beginning to detest talking even more now that he didn't have them. He was nearly human, and the thought of it sent shivers all over his body, the same kind as when he thought about his shorts stopping cutting off circulation to his genitals and he might give into Relena's wishes. He shuddered again—that was simply too nasty. He deliberately stayed awake for another hour or two in case the thoughts invaded his dreams, as he never knew if Duo could control his subconscious thoughts. Trowa couldn't sleep because he had a knife sticking out of his forehead. He'd removed it a few times in the day to see if it had become infected, but whenever he asked someone other than Heero they were disgusted, and his self-esteem was as thick as his legs. Duo couldn't sleep as he was lying in the middle of the room, so the essence of both sweet and vicious bore into him, both infiltrating his thoughts with ideas of what he could do. Being told to give Heero his tone (distinctly singular) back and throwing an orb at him to make him friendly and talkative was easily confusing factors for the warlock. Relena was finding it difficult to sleep as she worried about some of the things only she could think about, like how she felt naked as she hadn't gawked out of a window shouting Heero's name in a couple of days. The urge caught her too hard and she left the cottage and peered in at him, shouting 'HEERO!' repeatedly until she felt her quota had been reached. She was unable to get back in as her candyfloss stick had locked her out via using itself as a pick. None of the males let her in.
The next morning, they resumed their search for the Mobile Suit Road, and it was only after ten minutes they realised Trowa was leading them back the way they came. In his defence he whined out that he didn't have any brains, and when he pressed his hand around the hilt of the dagger, the complaints instantly ceased. Duo was acting strangely towards Heero for some reason, in a manner that did not involve him firing dangerous spheres of authoritative energy. This way was scarier. Somehow in his sleep, he'd tied his long braid up into a bun at the back of his head with a pink ribbon, but as there was only one he was only half-controlled by the evil source. He kept running over to Heero and hugging him, gushing out apologies, and then he'd slap the bishounen with more power than thought possible before kissing Heero on the lips in a form of an apology. Duo ran away from him and hid behind Relena to try and stop the magnetic force between them, feeling utterly disgusted at his actions. Heero held his hand over his mouth in shock, yet neither horror nor pleasure was evident on his face. Trowa seemed vaguely amused by the warlock's temporary split personalities, as well as being whole-heartedly grateful that he wasn't in either of the unfortunate humans' situation. Especially since he was contemplating tying a pink bow in the hair in front of his eyes for some peculiar reason that morning. He'd instead settled for a bow on his wrist under his sleeve that thankfully nobody else had noticed.
Later that afternoon, the bickering was becoming more and more intense as Duo began using his powers to hold Heero in place for an efficient apology as well as for hurting him all the better as he hurtled orbs. Relena found the whole situation both distressing and passionate; there was nothing quite like two young males working up a sweat to turn on a girl that wore terrible clothes. It was either her overactive hormones or hallucinations making her imagine them rolling in the mud wearing nasty outfits like hers, and this made her break out in a typically adolescent sweat as she dwelt on her erotic fantasies. They somehow made it a bit further down the road after a hearty day of arguing, but the fight was interrupted by an odd sound coming from a denser section of the surrounding forest. They decided to investigate as the two fighters were seemingly following them regardless of whatever path they walked in. Nothing could prepare them for what they saw. Nothing.
Trapped in a pose depicting one running at top speed, a young woman faced them, making strange sounds every so often as the corners of her mouth twitched. She wore a burgundy militaristic outfit with her long brown hair cascading over her shoulders (she was in the running pose, her hair was not). She wore rounded glasses that seemed to gleam in a strip of light every time they looked at her in spite of the fact she was in constant shadow, but they were halfway down her nose, making her loving eyes look less beautiful as they were slightly obstructed. Trowa pushed them up the bridge of her nose until they were in the proper position, and it was then the transformation occurred.
The loving, almost hash induced expression her hazel eyes showed instantly became harsh and unforgiving. She snatched the boy's wrist as he pulled his hand away from her face, shouting out an order for him to explain his actions, and in his terror, his spindly arm trembled so much the bow became undone and slipped out of his sleeve. The others instantly fell about laughing in spite of the tense situation, and the clown's face turned a brilliant shade of fuchsia. Not out of embarrassment, however, it was due to the face-numbing slap the woman had delivered.
"How DARE you steal from an important official like myself impertinent youth?"
"S-steal?"
"That is mine, is it not?"
"I don't know ma'am…I'm sorry to
have caused you so much…"
"SILENCE!"
Duo suddenly felt the pleasant side of his split personalities dying rapidly, and so he decided a foul ploy would be the best to remove him from such a sticky situation. He inconspicuously released the bow from his hair and dropped it at Heero's ankles whilst the attention was on Daggerhead.
"Look! Heero's been at it too! Thieving from a defenceless lady!"
"Maxwell?"
"None other, Miss Une! How's His
Excellency?"
"Away at a Romefeller Foundation meeting, or at least he was two years ago; I was running after him because he forgot to take his tweezers to make a nice split in each of his eyebrows when I tripped on a root and it dislodged my glasses. I was unable to move and within minutes nasty mice had stolen my hair ribbons, making me defenceless. But why are you here, of all useless leaders?"
"We're on the way to the Sanc Kingdom to
see the great wizard, as two of my companions are not of this world and quite
simply I want them gone. The other is looking for brains as his were destroyed
by this alien"
"I'm not an alien"
"Do not act so impolitely to your
superiors you good for nothing subordinate" "You and what army's going to stop
me, eh? Who do you think you are?"
"You can call me Lady Une. Follow
my orders and MOVE OUT NOW"
Duo and Lady engaged in conversation as they discussed various matters regarding the state of their world and how His Excellency had been missing in action for a few months. Lady looked distraught but Duo did not pass any comment on this, as he was too afraid to if not for any other reason. She never disclosed the reason why she followed them; the day he'd left, His Excellency had asked her to lose some of the military formalities, so she was really looking for a heart to help her understand him and his ideals a bit better. The warlock was increasingly glad that his split personality syndrome had been eradicated by the removal of the ribbon, yet he was annoyed Heero hadn't been attacked for 'stealing' it in the first place. She'd given her excuse as something along the lines of him being good looking so there were a chance the readers would sympathise with him. He felt a little down at hearing this, even though it was a joke for her standards, it hurt to hear the stranger being good looking whereas nobody ever complimented him. He was the only one that called her 'Tetsuko' which was Japanese for formidable steel lady, derived from her harsh attitude to life. They covered the ground lost through the schizophrenic fighting and twice as far owing to Lady Une's strict orders, and Trowa was already thinking brains weren't worthwhile if he were to be slapped and ordered about to obtain them. Relena whimpered constantly as she'd been struck for her child-like tendencies. The candyfloss stick just wished someone would set fire to it.
*~*~*~*~*AN*~*~*~*~*
Thank you to my reviewers for their opinions for their thoughts on the previous chapters in this, and if you, the reader, are generous enough, you'll leave me a review for me to give acclaim for in the next chapter! *Puppy eyes* Please?
Stormy-days: I'm crazy? Thank you for the compliment, it seems my parents got something right, as a shortening of my name is Mad! Glad you enjoy this, hope you liked this chapter! The hair thing is so laughable when you count how often it happens in the series, though I have yet to determine what that number is!
Lily: Thank you for the cookies, the bribe allowed me to continue writing this lol! Hope you liked this chapter!
That's all for now, please review if you like or email if you hate!