by: iluvaqt@hotmail.com
iluvaqt's Notes: Please, please send me feedback :( I haven't had any for two chapters...Should I take that as a bad sign?
Chapter 19: Affairs of the Heart
Syl tossed the phone from one hand to the other, she stopped mid pattern and Krit snatched it away from her before she could resume her nervous habit.
She had to keep her hands occupied when she was nervous or agitated, or she'd get up and blow steam by challenging him to a wrestle. Depending on how much pent up energy she was packing, would decide the outcome of their game. More than once, he'd nursed a strained shoulder, bruised jaw or dislocated knee. There was one time when she'd been particularly aggressive and elbowed him in the groin. She was a sore loser. He'd had her on her knees, bent backwards in a headlock. He'd lain on the floor for what seemed like hours afterward, just staring at the ceiling trying to clear the bright pink and yellow stars from his eyes.
So when he took the phone, he'd been prepared for her reaction.
Jumping up, she angrily kicked the bottom of his chair with her boot.
Her eyes where shining and the look she had on her face was something he couldn't decipher. Her body looked tense and aggressive, but aside from pushing him, she just stood there. Logan's computer chair slid across the polished floor, effortlessly put distance between them. She continued to stand there just looking at him, not making another move. If it weren't for his keen senses and his close connection to her, he would have missed the slight tremor below her right eye. It only happened just before she successfully repressed whatever was bothering her. What happened next was completely unexpected.
He got up and walked toward her, managing to catch her when she collapsed. They both slid to the floor. Sobs wracked her body, and he cradled her in his arms. He didn't dare speak. He'd never seen her like this. Okay, to be historically correct, only once. And that's was because she'd found their dog killed. Someone had robbed their place while they were out. Bill had gotten in their way. He hadn't been able to console Syl for hours. There'd been murder in her eyes, but there'd been nothing they could do but bury him just out of town in the woods. Bill's killers had stolen a case of beer, his stereo, Syl's hairdryer and a hundred dollars that had been in an envelope taped under the sink. Hardly worth the effort. He'd put it down to desperate drug-addicted teens or sloppy amateurs. The feel of cold wet material clinging to his chest, snapped him back to the present. She'd stopped crying and her head rested on his lap.
"This is so dumb," she whispered.
"No, it's not." He brushed the hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. It was so soft, and the light overhead made it shine like fresh barn straw. It's smelled of apple blossom. Usually, he hated the fruity shit she insisted on buying. But on her, it smelled divine and he couldn't imagine her hair smelling of anything else.
Syl wondered whether she should tell him what her heart was messing her up over. She could almost forget wanting to strangle him and lie in his lap forever, letting him play with her hair. She loved it when he stroked her neck and her face. It was so soothing and he was the only one who could both calm and enrage her in the space of a single moment. She turned in his lap and looked up at him.
Krit gazed down at her, there were still tears in her eyes and her cheeks were streaked with dried tears. She looked so beautiful, and dare he say it, vulnerable.
"When I lost sight of you tonight…and the gas went off…I swear…" Her breath caught in her throat. She wouldn't cry again. It was so stupid, these feelings she was experiencing. She'd been afraid. For only the second time in her life, she'd been afraid. Really afraid. And she couldn't even being to describe the relief she'd felt when she'd seen his face. Only to want to kick him a mile when he'd stabbed her with that enormous needle, seconds later.
"You didn't trust me?" Krit smiled down at her, his grin slightly mocking. "I knew what I was doing."
"You ass." She sat up and glared at him, her eyes shimmering with emotion and anger.
Krit had to struggled not to laugh. He could see the inner conflict in her body language. Kiss or kill, kiss or kill. Hrmmm, serious dilemma. He thought he'd help her decide. He reached up and tugged her back down. When she opened her mouth to start spitting curses in his face, he held a finger to her lips. "Just shut up," he said. Then he kissed her.
Max looked at his back. He was sitting crouched on the window seat, watching the rain. Their roles were reversed. Usually it was she standing at the window and wishing life weren't so complicated, while Logan watched her. Probably wondering the same things she was right now. What was he thinking?
Logan turned back to her. She was sitting on his bed, her feet pulled up and her arms bracing her knees. She'd been watching him and she made no attempt to hide that fact. Since they'd gotten to his apartment, she hadn't said much. And he hadn't tried to make conversation. After showing Krit and Syl the kitchen and spare room, they'd left them to their own devices and retreated to his room.
It wasn't because he expected them to pick up from where they'd left off. He wasn't keen on seeing her on his bathroom floor again. But he had wanted to be alone with her and she hadn't protested to being led into his bedroom.
"I feel like a shower," he said. He saw her nod and he walked toward the bathroom without a backward glance. Undressing, he kicked the clothing into a pile and stepped into the shower. Turning on the water he waited a moment before stepping under the spray. Closing his eyes he tilted his head back and let the warm water run over his whole body. He let the warmth soak away the tension in his muscles and ease the ache in his heart and his head. Reluctantly, reaching for the soap he lathered up and then rinsed. Logan stood for a few minutes more before he shut the water off and reached for his towel. He hadn't expected her to follow him, but part of him wished she had. It would have put an end to the uncomfortable silence he was feeling.
Logan pulled the other towel off the rack and dried his hair. As he made his way to the walk-in wardrobe he caught a glimpse of Max in the bedroom doorway. She'd curled up on the bedcovers and her dark brown curls lay across his pillow. She was asleep. He smiled and shook his head. Drying off, he picked out a navy sweater and dark pants. Dressed he went back to the bathroom and hung the towels back on the rack. Picking up the clothes from the tiled floor, he placed them in the laundry basket and walked back to the bedroom. He paused in the doorway, watching her. Her eyes were closed and long dark lashes just brushed her cheekbones. A dusty pink blush coloured her cheeks and her full lush lips were slightly parted. Her hands tucked under the pillow and her knees curled up, she looked so peaceful. There was no trace of the worry or sadness he'd seen on her face earlier. Her olive complexion seemed to have a much healthier glow and her even breathing was a comforting sound.
Collecting a blanket from the window seat, he walked toward the bed and covered her with it. He didn't want to disturb her, and as the material brushed her chin, she curled into a fetal position and murmured in her sleep. Rounding the bed, he crawled on and sat next to her. Just watching her sleep took all the awkwardness he felt away. She looked so beautiful, both strong and fragile at the same time. Regardless of how disappointed and hurt he'd felt, knowing she'd been pregnant to Alec, he couldn't feel angry at her. Part of him wanted to believe it never happened, but he knew he'd be lying to himself if tried to believe that. They'd all made mistakes in the past. It was pointless to wish them undone or torment yourself over them. What's done is done. Get over it. It all happens for a reason right? What was important was that she was going to be okay, and that he had her back. For a while there he'd really feared the worst. Seeing that picture of her… Damn shame he hadn't gotten to personally maim White. But he knew the man would get his comeuppance in due time. If not by the Russians, it'd be by the justice system. That's if some very pissed off X5s didn't get to him first.
He picked up his glasses from the bedside table and looked at the clock. It was close to 1 a.m. Tash might be annoyed but considering all that had happened over the past few hours, he thought he could be forgiven for leaving it till morning to call her with the good news. Taking his glasses off and placing them on the table again, he pulled out his pillow from under the covers. He stuffed the pillow behind his lower back and leaned against the headboard. Looking to his right, he watched her sleep. Reaching out to touch her hair he brushed down stray locks on the pillow, a smile playing on his lips.
Krit stretched under the sheets, he knew she wasn't asleep but he kept his eyes closed, playing along. She continued squirming, fringing restless sleep and nudging him with her feet. He'd gently push back, determined not to give up any more bed space than he already had.
Their exchange continued until Krit gave in and slapped her firmly on the behind.
Syl shot up in the bed taking the covers with her, her eyes glittering dangerously. "I could hurt you so bad right now."
Krit let his hand snake up the back of her shirt. "Don't tempt me, " he said.
Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she leaned over. Reaching ou, she pulled him in for a rough kiss. Shoving him back, she whipped around and straddled his waist.
Staring up at her, her hair still tussled and her cheeks glowing, she looked like a predator about to devour her prey. He smirked at her. "Do you ever think we'll be like those cute adoring couples?"
Leaning down, she let her golden hair brush his sensitive skin. Watching him squirm, she whispered, "Don't hold your breath."
"Didn't think so," he chuckled. He sat up and encircled her waist with his strong hands.
"Now quit torturing me." He effectively silenced her by passionately claiming her mouth.
Max opened her eyes. She blinked and her nose bumped into a solid but softly covered wall. Lifting her head slightly, she realized she'd been using Logan as a pillow. He was fully dressed. His knitted sweater slightly bunched at the back and his pants marginally creased. The blanket only half covered him and she felt selfish for having almost all of it to herself. She touched one of his feet and resisted a small gasp. He was freezing. Sitting up, she threw the blanket over him, and tried to make him more comfortable. Had he slept like that all night? He's head had an uncomfortable tilt to it. No doubt he'd wake up with one heck of a stiff neck. She felt bad waking him but it was torturing her to see him that way.
"Logan," she said quietly, touching him on the shoulder.
"Hrmm. Huh?" he mumbled sleepily.
She was right. When he opened his eyes, there was a moment of discomfort and confusion in his face before he sat straight. "Sorry."
"If fell asleep?" He rubbed the side of his neck, determined to eliminate the cramp in his muscles. She was sitting on the end of the bed watching him. The light from the window reflected the highlights in her hair, and the curls still slightly dishevelled shone like a golden red halo around her head. "Hungry?"
She smiled, "You read my mind." Her stomach grumbled hungrily and she crossed her arms across her abdomen, an embarrassed blush touching her cheeks.
Logan chuckled.
"Or maybe my stomach." Max grinned.
Logan picked up his glasses and ran a hand through his hair. He stood up and offered her a hand. "A good host always knows when to serve the food."