Ryan doesn't say whether or not he wants to go to Holly's house, he simply goes. He's still wearing the clothes picked out by Summer and Seth drives. He doesn't know if he's capable of speech anymore. Marissa's gone and he has nothing to say.
Seth steadies Ryan into the house like a blind man. He stops by the bar. Ryan's eyes are unfocused and locked on the floor. Summer squeezes Seth's arm and goes to talk to a group of crying girls.
The music is playing softly at Holly's and there are small groups gathered talking quietly. All lighting comes from candlelight. There are alternate sounds of sobbing and wailing. Seth leads Ryan outside to the beach with a bottle of whiskey. Ryan silently takes it from him and drinks over half the bottle before Seth takes it from him. Seth takes a swallow.
"Say something, Seth," Ryan says suddenly, unnerved by Seth's unnatural silence.
"What, Ryan, what?"
"Tell me what happened today…tell me why it went down like that…tell me…tell me why she lived in Mexico only to die here…" Ryan whispers.
"I don't know…Ryan, I don't know," Seth replies, shaken. "Are you going to be okay?"
"I'm not dead…just Marissa…" Ryan replies. He takes the bottle from Seth and finishes it.
Seth is startled. He desperately wants to help Ryan but doesn't know how. "Ryan…"
"I'm done talking. I just want to drink."
"Okay, Ryan. I'll go get you a chaser, okay?" Seth offers.
"Okay," Ryan nods distantly. Seth just needs a moment away from Ryan's encompassing sadness.
"Seth? Where's Ryan?" Summer finds him in the kitchen.
"Outside," Seth responds.
"Are you okay?" She asks quietly.
"He's…it's like he's not there, Summer and he's asking all these questions and…I don't know what to do for him." Seth hesitates. "I'm so used to him being the cool one…the one that shows me how to act, what to do…but he's just…it's like he died in there, too…"
Luke glances at them, overhearing. "Where is he?" He asks, quietly.
"Luke…I don't know…" Summer hesitates.
"I need to talk to him, Summer. Where is he?" Luke asks. Seth nods outside and Luke disappears.
"Hey. Let's drink to Marissa." Summer hands Seth a cup and they both drink.
Outside, Ryan has finished the bottle of whiskey. His eyes are closed and he is holding his head in his hands.
"Hey, Chino. You okay?" Luke's voice doesn't get a reaction out of him.
"Not exactly…"
"Can I sit down?"
Ryan doesn't reply. Luke sits down.
"She loved you, you know," Ryan says quietly. "Before you fucked it all up. She told me she did."
"I know. I hated you so much for stealing her from me, but…you didn't steal her…and she loved you more than she could ever love me…" Luke admits.
Ryan doesn't respond, the alcohol hitting him in a burst.
"I mean…I saw you guys together, and she was happy…dammit, she was so happy…" Luke whispers.
"I can't talk about her…not yet…she was just here…I…" Ryan starts to get up but the whiskey has dissolved his bones and he remains on the sand.
"Okay, man…I'm sorry…" Luke realizes how shattered the other boy is. "I also wanted to thank you…that shit in the cafeteria…it wouldn't have worked if you hadn't had my back…"
"That was all you, Luke. I froze…I couldn't think…if you hadn't flagged me down, I wouldn't have moved…" Ryan mutters.
"Hey, but you did. You came through man. You always do," Luke realizes.
"I didn't come through for Marissa…" Ryan whispers.
"You couldn't do anything for her, man…" Luke says after a pause.
Ryan slings the bottle across the beach.
Luke sits with him a few more minutes before returning to the house.
Seth and Summer are drinking with a group of other kids watching a video of the Cotillion dance. Marissa was not the only casualty in the cafeteria. Harris and Jolene, a couple that had been dating since the beginning of time, had both been killed by the gunmen. Three other Newport teens are in the hospital. Three deaths in an instant. But tonight at Holly's, at least their friends can watch them dance.
Ryan watches the sun rise from the beach. He vaguely realizes that he's finished another bottle of liquor and that he hasn't seen Seth or Summer in hours. He staggers into the house and finds them both passed out on the couch. Ryan calls a taxi and waits for it to arrive. He carries Summer to the car and then after shaking Seth to no avail, he carries Seth as well.
"Another big party, kids? Shouldn't you be in school today?" The driver asks.
"Not today. Teachers workday," Ryan replies, dryly.
The taxi pulls up to the house and Sandy and Kirsten are outside instantly. Ryan carries Summer into the house, ignoring the confused looks from the Cohens. When he returns for Seth, Sandy has already woken him and is helping him inside.
Kirsten guides Ryan into the kitchen as Sandy follows Seth upstairs.
"You okay?" Kirsten stands in front of Ryan and gently brushes a strand of hair from his forehead.
Ryan looks at her with dazed eyes. "I'm drunk."
"Okay…" Kirsten replies.
"And she's still dead…" Ryan whispers. He turns away from her, anguished and she catches his arm.
"Ryan…" Kirsten embraces him but he doesn't respond. "Honey, you're shaking…"
"What am I supposed to do without her?" Ryan asks before collapsing into sobs for the first time since the shooting. Sandy walks in, surprised to see Ryan in tears but strangely relieved. He had expressed his concern about Ryan's lack of emotion.
Kirsten holds Ryan for several minutes until he seems to recover himself. He steps back and holds out the keys to the Range Rover. Sandy accepts them.
"Thank you for not driving, Ryan," Kirsten says. "Are you going to be okay?"
"I think…I think I'm going to bed now," Ryan replies. He bolts from the house and disappears into the pool house.
"What do you think?" Sandy asks, putting an arm around her.
"I think it's killing him," Kirsten responds. "And as much as I want to get mad at them for going out and getting drunk…I can't blame them." She sighs. "I don't think I realized how much Marissa meant to him."
"I don't think anyone did. He'll be okay. He's a tough kid…"Sandy says quietly.
"Sandy…I don't know if he's going to get through this…it's like he's not even there…I mean, Ryan's the king of hiding his emotions but this is eating him alive…"
"Let's just let them sleep. I'm sure once they're sober…they'll be okay," Sandy says quietly.
"I hope you're right."