Disclaimer: I never got around to owning Artemis Fowl, so, I figured I'd
give Inu-Yasha a shot. ^___^ *large mob of fangirls, starting with her
sister, NamelessMoonshine tackle her* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I WAS JUST
KIDDING, I DON'T WANT HIM!!!!!!
Fangirls: OH, so now he isn't GOOD enough for you?!?!
AHHHH! *climbs out and runs away as fast as she can*
Summary: In which Inu-Yasha meets super-glue. First One-shotter in a little saga that I will be bringing to you for your personal entertainment. ^_~
Pre-Fic Randomness:
Ah, yes, NEW reviewers! ^_~ Hello, fellow Inu-junkies. Yes, yes, it's true: ChaosHavoc has migrated from Artemis Fowl to Inu-Yasha! And, what's even MORE surprising, the evil Random Action/Adventure Queen has also migrated to Humor/Romance. For those of you who don't know of me and my past opinion of heavy romance readers...well...we won't get into that...*waves her many restraining orders that forbid her from talking trash about romance* As you can see, that's history. I actually like romance...and...even find it...entertaining...and have been a big...fan for...some years...*rips up the cue cards* Idiot directors...*stomps off*
On to the fic! *huggles her new, incredibly life-like Miroku plushie* ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________
Kagome sat with her companions under a large tree, grumbling as she struggled to glue the pieces of her pen back together without getting any of the sticky goop on her hands. "Stupid Inu-Yasha," she grumbled under her breath. Sango sat across from her, holding a hand in front of her mouth to stifle laughter while using the other to pound Miroku's head for letting his hand roam oh-so-freely across her lap.
"You sat him pretty hard," Sango observed. "It IS just a piece of wood, after all. We're in a forest. There are hundreds of sticks here. All you have to do is pick one." She once again smacked Miroku's forehead sharply with her knuckles. "Houshi-sama!"
"It's NOT just wood," Kagome snapped irritably. She apologized after a moment. "Sorry, but this is plastic. I doubt you guys have any of this here. Besides, that's not the POINT. If Inu-Yasha hadn't broken it in the first place, I wouldn't have to glue it back together." She gritted her teeth as another piece of the pen fell away from the rest. She'd better get this stupid thing back together before the sun went down; she didn't have a spare.
"How DID he break it?" Shippou, who was sitting right beside Kagome on a stack of her books, asked. "I don't remember him picking it up today."
Kagome pretended she didn't hear the question until all three of her companions began repeating it. "He...shatondit..." she mumbled.
"He WHAT?" Miroku asked, obviously confused, before inching his fingers across Sango's chest and almost getting them broken off. He hadn't yet reached his daily quota for pain, it seemed.
Kagome snarled, snatching up another piece of the crushed item. "He SAT on it." She tried to ignore the outburst of laughter. "When we were fighting earlier, I sat him and he fell on it," she admitted. "It's all his fault. I'll never be able to finish my homework."
"Speaking of which," Sango grinned, pointing over Kagome's shoulder. "Here he comes now."
Kagome spared a moment to glance over her shoulder. It was true; Inu-Yasha was storming over to them at that very instant. She held her breath. Please, no more shouting matches... Inu-Yasha thought about what Myouga had told him while he was sucking dirt. Maybe if he just learned to shut the hell up, he wouldn't be six-feet-under every ten minutes. He saw Kagome sitting under the tree, desperately trying to glue her precious stick back together and banished his previous thought. Just who the hell did she think she was, anyway?!
"Kagome," he said, glaring down at the girl from the future, arms crossed. The hell if he was backing down now. "Get over here right now, wench!"
His loud voice startled Kagome so badly, she spilled some of the glue on her right hand. "Grr..." She stomped over to Inu-Yasha, fuming. "LOOK what you made me do, you insensitive wretch!" She waved her hand in front of him.
"You are pissing me off, woman!" Inu-Yasha growled as he snatched her arm out of the air. You'd think she'd cut it open on a sword or something, the way she was screaming at him! He grasped her hand in his left hand, examining it. "There's nothing wrong with it, you whimpering idiot!"
"Osuwari!" Kagome shouted at the top of her lungs. Unfortunately, when he went down, he took her with him. She tried to climb to her feet, but found herself to be stuck. "What the...?" Then, realization dawned.
"THE SUPER-GLUE!"
*~When Inu-Yasha and Kagome finally pry themselves up from the ground~*
Miroku and Sango watched Inu-Yasha and Kagome fight over where they were going to sleep that night, since the super-glue wouldn't wear off until morning. It was rather amusing. Inu-Yasha, naturally, wanted to sleep in the tree. Kagome wouldn't go anywhere near the thing. Neither would negotiate.
Miroku nudged Sango, his face like a light. "Hey, at least this gives them a reason to spend time together. Maybe we should conveniently wander off and give them time to...bond..." He wiggled his eyebrows humorously, as if he wanted more people than just Kagome and Inu-Yasha to 'bond.'
"You know, Houshi-sama," Sango smirked, grabbing his hand away from her waist, "if you were any other monk, I might have thought about it. But, apparently, you don't want this hand." She rapped his forehead again and turned to watch Inu-Yasha and Kagome.
Shippou grumbled and leaned against Kirara. Obviously, he wouldn't be sleeping with Kagome tonight. Hey...maybe he could play with that camera thing from Kagome's backpack...yeah...THAT might come in handy later. "Wait here and keep watch for me, Kirara," he whispered as he scampered off to find Kagome's pack.
"Well, I don't WANT to sleep in a tree!" Kagome hollered as Inu-Yasha attempted to cover his ears. "You had better stay down here on the ground or I will KILL YOU!" She sighed, exasperated. "Of all the people I had to get stuck to, it just HAD to be the DOG-BOY! I'd have been better off being stuck to MIROKU!"
Inu-Yasha balled his free right hand into a fist. "Well, I guess you've forgotten WHO put us in this mess in the first place! So just shut up and get in the damn tree, you stupid girl!"
"Don't call me STUPID!" Kagome growled, preparing to sit him. "I swear I'll say it!"
"Not connected to me, you won't," Inu-Yasha pointed out, waving their linked hands testily.
Kagome tried to cross her arms unsuccessfully, so, instead stood akimbo with one hand on her hip. "You are SO annoying! I HATE you, Inu-Yasha!"
"That's just fine with me as long as we just make it through tonight, you whiny little brat!" Inu-Yasha grumbled angrily. Suddenly, he noticed that Kagome had fallen silent. Oh no, he thought to himself as he saw her shoulders shaking. Not now. Anything but this...
"Stop CRYING!" he urged, grabbing Kagome's shoulder with his free hand. "PLEASE don't cry!"
"I'm NOT crying!" Kagome shouted, though it was plainly obvious she was. "Don't TOUCH me! I don't want anything to DO with you!" She pushed his arm away, wiping away her tears.
Inu-Yasha was at a loss for words. "Er...okay, if it means so much to you, we can sleep down here. Just don't cry anymore." He gripped Kagome's shoulder again, but she refused to look at him.
"Fine," Kagome mumbled. "But you'd better not touch me or anything in the middle of the night. It's too stressful just to be GLUED to you!"
"YOU'RE complaining about STRESS?!" Inu-Yasha's momentary composure shattered instantly. "YOU'RE not the one who has to put up with a stubborn, whiny, SPOILED princess from the future!"
Kagome pushed him away as far as their linked hands would allow. "NO, but I DO have to spend the night with a SMELLY, ILL-TEMPERED, SAVAGE BRUTE from the past!"
"You want to talk about SMELLY?! YOU can't smell the things I can!" Inu- Yasha poked her in the shoulder hard.
Miroku and Sango sighed as they watched. "They'll never learn," the monk mumbled to the demon exterminator, who nodded.
*~Later the night~*
Kagome tried to roll over and best she could on the futon. There was just no way she could get comfortable without her hand cramping up. She grumbled sleepily and stared over at Inu-Yasha. How could he sleep so well? If she didn't know any better, she think he'd had some kind of practice with this kind of thing. She scowled and tried again to get comfortable.
"You can lay on me," Inu-Yasha mumbled in his sleep. Kagome was startled when he opened one eye to look at her. "Don't think the wrong thing...you just make so much noise that it's hard to sleep..."
Kagome didn't want to answer and wake everyone, who had conveniently moved to the other side of the giant tree, so she simply laid her head on his chest. It worked perfectly. Inu-Yasha' head came down on hers softly and she knew he had gone back to sleep. She never knew how...perfect...it would feel to be sleeping in Inu-Yasha's arms. In moments, her breathing matched Inu-Yasha's and they were both asleep.
Perhaps if she'd stayed awake a few minutes later, she'd have heard the Polaroid camera from behind a distant tree.
*~The next morning~*
Shippou, Sango, and Miroku were surveying a handful of pictures. "Nice quality," Miroku grinned, pointing to Kagome in a picture. Her skirt had raised ever so slightly in her sleep. Sango thumped him on the head hard, frowning.
"Damn hentai," she grumbled, turning her attention back to the pictures of Inu-Yasha and Kagome. "Who would have thought..."
"Thought what?" Inu-Yasha asked as he and Kagome wandered around the other side of the tree. The glue had worn off enough during the night for them to pull apart, but, they apparently had no idea they were holding hands until Kagome approached Sango to ask why Miroku was sprawled out on the grass.
Shippou slipped the pictures into his jacket as Sango stood up to greet Kagome. No one noticed that Miroku had not groped Sango once.
Until now.
"HOUSHI-SAMA!"
Scowl. Death Glare. Punch in the face.
Wince. Wide eyes. Falls back, taking prize.
Sango scrambled up off of Miroku, but, for some reason, his hand came with her. "Monk, if you don't get your hand OFF of my butt..."
"Well, you see, Sango..." Miroku began, grinning impiously. "I don't think I can until...well...tomorrow..." He pulled Kagome's empty bottle of super- glue out of one of his many hidden pockets.
Sango blushed, and, then, it seemed all Miroku could see was blood.
Probably because she nearly bashed his head in.
"Feh," he heard Inu-Yasha say to Kagome, "he's stuck to his choice of death, all right. But what a way to go..."
"OSUWARI!"
____________________________________________________________________________ _________________
Well, that was my fic. I hope you enjoyed! All I need is some nice reviews so that I can...*hears doorbell ring*...huh? One moment...*opens door* Hello?
Miroku: *stands there, looking scared and frantic* HELP ME! SANGO WANTS TO CUT MY HANDS OFF!!
*slams door* I don't want no cookies! Anyway, readers, all I need is some reviews...wait a second...*opens door again* Get in here! Yeah, hide in the bed!
Miroku: THANK YOU! *runs in and hides in CH's bed*
*grins* Okay, just review! Stay tuned for the next addition: Mistaken Identity! In which Miroku and Sango are forced to taken on each others' burdens and find out just how hard it is to be someone they're not! Meanwhile...*glances off at her bedroom* I'll be in the next room...*wiggles eyebrows*...taking care of some business...*runs into the next room after Miroku*
Fangirls: OH, so now he isn't GOOD enough for you?!?!
AHHHH! *climbs out and runs away as fast as she can*
Summary: In which Inu-Yasha meets super-glue. First One-shotter in a little saga that I will be bringing to you for your personal entertainment. ^_~
Pre-Fic Randomness:
Ah, yes, NEW reviewers! ^_~ Hello, fellow Inu-junkies. Yes, yes, it's true: ChaosHavoc has migrated from Artemis Fowl to Inu-Yasha! And, what's even MORE surprising, the evil Random Action/Adventure Queen has also migrated to Humor/Romance. For those of you who don't know of me and my past opinion of heavy romance readers...well...we won't get into that...*waves her many restraining orders that forbid her from talking trash about romance* As you can see, that's history. I actually like romance...and...even find it...entertaining...and have been a big...fan for...some years...*rips up the cue cards* Idiot directors...*stomps off*
On to the fic! *huggles her new, incredibly life-like Miroku plushie* ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________
Kagome sat with her companions under a large tree, grumbling as she struggled to glue the pieces of her pen back together without getting any of the sticky goop on her hands. "Stupid Inu-Yasha," she grumbled under her breath. Sango sat across from her, holding a hand in front of her mouth to stifle laughter while using the other to pound Miroku's head for letting his hand roam oh-so-freely across her lap.
"You sat him pretty hard," Sango observed. "It IS just a piece of wood, after all. We're in a forest. There are hundreds of sticks here. All you have to do is pick one." She once again smacked Miroku's forehead sharply with her knuckles. "Houshi-sama!"
"It's NOT just wood," Kagome snapped irritably. She apologized after a moment. "Sorry, but this is plastic. I doubt you guys have any of this here. Besides, that's not the POINT. If Inu-Yasha hadn't broken it in the first place, I wouldn't have to glue it back together." She gritted her teeth as another piece of the pen fell away from the rest. She'd better get this stupid thing back together before the sun went down; she didn't have a spare.
"How DID he break it?" Shippou, who was sitting right beside Kagome on a stack of her books, asked. "I don't remember him picking it up today."
Kagome pretended she didn't hear the question until all three of her companions began repeating it. "He...shatondit..." she mumbled.
"He WHAT?" Miroku asked, obviously confused, before inching his fingers across Sango's chest and almost getting them broken off. He hadn't yet reached his daily quota for pain, it seemed.
Kagome snarled, snatching up another piece of the crushed item. "He SAT on it." She tried to ignore the outburst of laughter. "When we were fighting earlier, I sat him and he fell on it," she admitted. "It's all his fault. I'll never be able to finish my homework."
"Speaking of which," Sango grinned, pointing over Kagome's shoulder. "Here he comes now."
Kagome spared a moment to glance over her shoulder. It was true; Inu-Yasha was storming over to them at that very instant. She held her breath. Please, no more shouting matches... Inu-Yasha thought about what Myouga had told him while he was sucking dirt. Maybe if he just learned to shut the hell up, he wouldn't be six-feet-under every ten minutes. He saw Kagome sitting under the tree, desperately trying to glue her precious stick back together and banished his previous thought. Just who the hell did she think she was, anyway?!
"Kagome," he said, glaring down at the girl from the future, arms crossed. The hell if he was backing down now. "Get over here right now, wench!"
His loud voice startled Kagome so badly, she spilled some of the glue on her right hand. "Grr..." She stomped over to Inu-Yasha, fuming. "LOOK what you made me do, you insensitive wretch!" She waved her hand in front of him.
"You are pissing me off, woman!" Inu-Yasha growled as he snatched her arm out of the air. You'd think she'd cut it open on a sword or something, the way she was screaming at him! He grasped her hand in his left hand, examining it. "There's nothing wrong with it, you whimpering idiot!"
"Osuwari!" Kagome shouted at the top of her lungs. Unfortunately, when he went down, he took her with him. She tried to climb to her feet, but found herself to be stuck. "What the...?" Then, realization dawned.
"THE SUPER-GLUE!"
*~When Inu-Yasha and Kagome finally pry themselves up from the ground~*
Miroku and Sango watched Inu-Yasha and Kagome fight over where they were going to sleep that night, since the super-glue wouldn't wear off until morning. It was rather amusing. Inu-Yasha, naturally, wanted to sleep in the tree. Kagome wouldn't go anywhere near the thing. Neither would negotiate.
Miroku nudged Sango, his face like a light. "Hey, at least this gives them a reason to spend time together. Maybe we should conveniently wander off and give them time to...bond..." He wiggled his eyebrows humorously, as if he wanted more people than just Kagome and Inu-Yasha to 'bond.'
"You know, Houshi-sama," Sango smirked, grabbing his hand away from her waist, "if you were any other monk, I might have thought about it. But, apparently, you don't want this hand." She rapped his forehead again and turned to watch Inu-Yasha and Kagome.
Shippou grumbled and leaned against Kirara. Obviously, he wouldn't be sleeping with Kagome tonight. Hey...maybe he could play with that camera thing from Kagome's backpack...yeah...THAT might come in handy later. "Wait here and keep watch for me, Kirara," he whispered as he scampered off to find Kagome's pack.
"Well, I don't WANT to sleep in a tree!" Kagome hollered as Inu-Yasha attempted to cover his ears. "You had better stay down here on the ground or I will KILL YOU!" She sighed, exasperated. "Of all the people I had to get stuck to, it just HAD to be the DOG-BOY! I'd have been better off being stuck to MIROKU!"
Inu-Yasha balled his free right hand into a fist. "Well, I guess you've forgotten WHO put us in this mess in the first place! So just shut up and get in the damn tree, you stupid girl!"
"Don't call me STUPID!" Kagome growled, preparing to sit him. "I swear I'll say it!"
"Not connected to me, you won't," Inu-Yasha pointed out, waving their linked hands testily.
Kagome tried to cross her arms unsuccessfully, so, instead stood akimbo with one hand on her hip. "You are SO annoying! I HATE you, Inu-Yasha!"
"That's just fine with me as long as we just make it through tonight, you whiny little brat!" Inu-Yasha grumbled angrily. Suddenly, he noticed that Kagome had fallen silent. Oh no, he thought to himself as he saw her shoulders shaking. Not now. Anything but this...
"Stop CRYING!" he urged, grabbing Kagome's shoulder with his free hand. "PLEASE don't cry!"
"I'm NOT crying!" Kagome shouted, though it was plainly obvious she was. "Don't TOUCH me! I don't want anything to DO with you!" She pushed his arm away, wiping away her tears.
Inu-Yasha was at a loss for words. "Er...okay, if it means so much to you, we can sleep down here. Just don't cry anymore." He gripped Kagome's shoulder again, but she refused to look at him.
"Fine," Kagome mumbled. "But you'd better not touch me or anything in the middle of the night. It's too stressful just to be GLUED to you!"
"YOU'RE complaining about STRESS?!" Inu-Yasha's momentary composure shattered instantly. "YOU'RE not the one who has to put up with a stubborn, whiny, SPOILED princess from the future!"
Kagome pushed him away as far as their linked hands would allow. "NO, but I DO have to spend the night with a SMELLY, ILL-TEMPERED, SAVAGE BRUTE from the past!"
"You want to talk about SMELLY?! YOU can't smell the things I can!" Inu- Yasha poked her in the shoulder hard.
Miroku and Sango sighed as they watched. "They'll never learn," the monk mumbled to the demon exterminator, who nodded.
*~Later the night~*
Kagome tried to roll over and best she could on the futon. There was just no way she could get comfortable without her hand cramping up. She grumbled sleepily and stared over at Inu-Yasha. How could he sleep so well? If she didn't know any better, she think he'd had some kind of practice with this kind of thing. She scowled and tried again to get comfortable.
"You can lay on me," Inu-Yasha mumbled in his sleep. Kagome was startled when he opened one eye to look at her. "Don't think the wrong thing...you just make so much noise that it's hard to sleep..."
Kagome didn't want to answer and wake everyone, who had conveniently moved to the other side of the giant tree, so she simply laid her head on his chest. It worked perfectly. Inu-Yasha' head came down on hers softly and she knew he had gone back to sleep. She never knew how...perfect...it would feel to be sleeping in Inu-Yasha's arms. In moments, her breathing matched Inu-Yasha's and they were both asleep.
Perhaps if she'd stayed awake a few minutes later, she'd have heard the Polaroid camera from behind a distant tree.
*~The next morning~*
Shippou, Sango, and Miroku were surveying a handful of pictures. "Nice quality," Miroku grinned, pointing to Kagome in a picture. Her skirt had raised ever so slightly in her sleep. Sango thumped him on the head hard, frowning.
"Damn hentai," she grumbled, turning her attention back to the pictures of Inu-Yasha and Kagome. "Who would have thought..."
"Thought what?" Inu-Yasha asked as he and Kagome wandered around the other side of the tree. The glue had worn off enough during the night for them to pull apart, but, they apparently had no idea they were holding hands until Kagome approached Sango to ask why Miroku was sprawled out on the grass.
Shippou slipped the pictures into his jacket as Sango stood up to greet Kagome. No one noticed that Miroku had not groped Sango once.
Until now.
"HOUSHI-SAMA!"
Scowl. Death Glare. Punch in the face.
Wince. Wide eyes. Falls back, taking prize.
Sango scrambled up off of Miroku, but, for some reason, his hand came with her. "Monk, if you don't get your hand OFF of my butt..."
"Well, you see, Sango..." Miroku began, grinning impiously. "I don't think I can until...well...tomorrow..." He pulled Kagome's empty bottle of super- glue out of one of his many hidden pockets.
Sango blushed, and, then, it seemed all Miroku could see was blood.
Probably because she nearly bashed his head in.
"Feh," he heard Inu-Yasha say to Kagome, "he's stuck to his choice of death, all right. But what a way to go..."
"OSUWARI!"
____________________________________________________________________________ _________________
Well, that was my fic. I hope you enjoyed! All I need is some nice reviews so that I can...*hears doorbell ring*...huh? One moment...*opens door* Hello?
Miroku: *stands there, looking scared and frantic* HELP ME! SANGO WANTS TO CUT MY HANDS OFF!!
*slams door* I don't want no cookies! Anyway, readers, all I need is some reviews...wait a second...*opens door again* Get in here! Yeah, hide in the bed!
Miroku: THANK YOU! *runs in and hides in CH's bed*
*grins* Okay, just review! Stay tuned for the next addition: Mistaken Identity! In which Miroku and Sango are forced to taken on each others' burdens and find out just how hard it is to be someone they're not! Meanwhile...*glances off at her bedroom* I'll be in the next room...*wiggles eyebrows*...taking care of some business...*runs into the next room after Miroku*