Chapter 9: Answers
Kentarre let this sink in. *Hmm... bet they weren't expecting that one. Oh well.* Harry and Ron tried not to look stunned, and Hermione had an expression that clearly said I-knew-it-all-along. Kentarre caught her eyes and held them, knowing full well that Hermione was the only one among them that had the slightest suspicion that Kentarre was not quite who she seemed. Hermione raised her eyebrows. "That last bit was a little vague," she said, mainly, Kentarre guessed, for the others' benefit. "I don't suppose we could persuade you to confide any more, hmm?"
Kentarre held her solemn gaze. "I should think I'd told you plenty. You're smart; you'll be able to figure things out from there. That little bit was simply a nudge in the right direction," she replied, then looked quickly at the other two. Harry was gazing at the floor and looking troubled about something, as though he longed to say something but couldn't, and Ron was biting his lip. Kentarre's gaze went from Harry to Ron and back to Harry to fix on him. "Spit it out, Potter," she said sharply, making him start. "It won't do any good if you don't say it."
Harry looked at her dubiously, and she prompted him with her eyes. "How do you know so much about this?" he blurted. "How do you know so much more than we do? How did you find all this out?" Kentarre leaned back in her chair. "It's simple, Potter," she answered. "I told you, I'm not who you think I am. But I can tell you no more than that. I'm sorry." Ron's eyes then lit just a little, and he looked at Harry and Hermione meaningfully. Kentarre read the exchange and said nothing. Then Hermione stood. "Well, it's getting late. We should turn in," she said, waiting for the other two to agree with her. Harry took the hint and also rose, saying, "Goodnight, Kentarre." Ron nodded at her, as if to say, 'What he said,' and then he followed Harry toward the boys' staircase. Hermione went to the foot of her staircase, but then stopped. "Are you coming?" she asked, turning her head to face Kentarre. Kentarre pretended not to hear her. Instead, she leaned over to one side of her chair and pulled out her black drawstring bag that contained her reed pipes. Hermione saw this and continued up the stairs.
Once she heard the door to the girls' dormitory shut, Kentarre took out her pipes and began to play. This melody, however, was different from the ones she had played for the trio. No, this song was soft and haunting, and very familiar to Kentarre. She played it with relish, glad to hear something of home, something that reminded her of where she truly belonged. She let the tones slowly lull her, and when the song was finished, she leaned far back in her chair and thought of home, that place that she had called her own for her entire life. She remembered the faces of the people who were close to her, and she smiled gently to herself. Slowly, she inhaled a deep breath, filling her mind with those fragrances that characterized her home, almost actually smelling them because of the vividness of the memory. *Only three years ago I was there,* she realized. *Oh, to be there once more!*
Kentarre sighed, and picked up the pipes again. She turned them over and fingered the runes that had been carved on the underside by her own hand. The runes read, in her language, "Whoever finds music, finds freedom." She smiled to herself, and then put the pipes to her lips. This time, the music that came out was her own song that she had written herself, one she had played many a time, and one that she loved dearly. The notes wrapped themselves around her, engulfing her in their comfort and expression of self, her self, her being. Kentarre felt herself long to fly with the music out to whoever might hear it; she felt her soul fighting to get out of her and join the music in its flight out of the window, down the wall of the castle, and into the night.
And then it was over. Many a time had Kentarre improvised this music to make it last longer, but it never seemed to last long enough. She bowed her head and allowed the memory of the music to echo off of the walls and come floating back to rest with her. Then she replaced her reeds in their bag, stood, and glided out of the room. She ascended the stair without a creak, not wanting to break the enormous and living silence after one has finished playing a piece that one put one's soul into. She entered the dormitory and went to bed, dreaming, for the first time since coming to Hogwarts, of flying over dark hills and mountains and meadows shimmering with early dew.
* * * 5 hours later* * *
Kentarre suddenly awoke, sitting straight upright in bed. Her heart was beating in a very fast rhythm, and her eyes gleamed in the light that poured through the crack in the other side of the curtain- the one near the window. Kentarre got out of bed via this parting and went to the window. Outside, the grounds looked peaceful and serene in the weakening moonlight, but Kentarre was not calmed by this. *Something's wrong,* she thought. She thought very fast, and finally decided to go downstairs into the common room to think some more. She pulled on her black cloak, which, surprisingly, had fallen to the floor from its spot at the end of her bed.
She went down to the common room and began to pace the floor. *Why did I wake up? Something's not right, but what is it?* She stopped pacing suddenly because she heard a noise that sounded as if it was coming from the boys' staircase. It also sounded like the noise someone might make if one was enduring serious pain. *Potter! So that's why I woke up!*
Kentarre crept silently up the boys' stairs and up to the fifth years' door. *Someone else had better not wake up, else I'll never hear the end of this,* she warned herself, and pushed the door open. Inside was all dark; it seemed that everyone was sleeping soundly- everyone, that is, except for one person. Kentarre located the bed from which the noises came, and she slunk around the edge of the room until she came to this bed. *I really shouldn't be here,* she told herself, and she stopped in her tracks. *I can always ask him about it in the morning. Besides, what if I interrupt him in the middle of an important dream? Assuming that that's what it is. All right. Even though I won't be able to sleep for the rest of the night, I'm going back.*
With that, she turned and started off towards the door, but before she could get to it, the sounds of pain from Potter's (she guessed) bed stopped. She heard a sound like someone letting out an enormous breath that they had been holding for two minutes, and then she heard a bed creak. She stopped in her tracks and looked for something to hide behind. Not wanting to hide behind someone's bed for fear of them waking, she slipped behind the mirror that was by the door. Not daring to peek around, Kentarre's ears perked, listening with all their might. She couldn't be sure, but she seemed to hear someone get out of his bed and pad across the room just to Kentarre's left. The window was in that vicinity, and Kentarre could almost see it. She moved into position and saw Potter in his PJs standing at the window, staring blankly out. Beads of sweat glimmered on his forehead, and his scar stood out more vividly than before. His bangs clung to his forehead, and his chest rose rapidly, as if he had been running very fast. Kentarre watched him closely, watched his fingers tremble at his side, watched his breathing gradually slow, watched him slowly bring one hand to his forehead to wipe the sweat out of his eyes, watched him turn his head to lock eyes with her. He started severely, and she held out her hands to tell him to calm down. It looked as though she had given him quite a scare, but he didn't move. She brought one finger to her lips, and then inclined her head towards the door. To give him the idea, she turned around and headed for the door herself, opening it and then waiting for him to get the message.
It took a few seconds, but Harry finally got it that she wanted to talk. His eyes were very wide as he passed her, but she let him go down the stairs first. Once they got downstairs, he turned around to meet her as she came down. "What were you doing in there?" he asked quietly, sounding more shocked than angry. Kentarre told him bluntly, "Sit down." He shook his head. "No," he refused, "not until you tell me what you were doing in the boys' dormitory at 3:00 in the morning!"
She put a finger to her lips and said shortly, "You woke me up." He did a double take, and then said incredulously, "No, I didn't!" She tensed her jaw and replied, "If you sit down, I'll explain. Now, you can make this as hard as you want, but I promise you I will have my answers by the time that sun rises." Harry seemed to have a reply to that, but then thought better of it. He plopped down into a nearby armchair and said, "Okay, talk." Kentarre also sat and said, "I told you that you woke me up, and that's not exactly correct. Your dream woke me up." At this, Harry's person completely changed. His eyes went from accusing to a mix of incredulity and fear, his lips went slack, and his shoulders relaxed. She nodded at him as if to say 'It's true,' and then she went on. "Now I'm going to ask you something: what was that dream about?"
Harry hesitated for a moment, as if he didn't want to talk about it just yet, and she said sharply, "I want to make sure that it doesn't fade from your memory before I hear about it. I'm sorry if this is painful, but I'm not like Dumbledore. I need to know." Harry took a slow, deep breath and said, "Well, I dreamed that I was in a forest somewhere, and it was nighttime all around. There was a light coming through the trees, so I followed it. There, in the middle of the forest, was something that was a kind of cleared area, and there were people all around dressed in black hooded robes. They looked very busy, and they were rushing around in a big hurry. It looked kind of like they were building something. There were small fires built all around, and there were people crouching over them too. I went on through the workers, and, like the other dreams I've had like this, they couldn't see me. Anyway, I found this cut off section of the clearing, and standing there talking to somebody was- was... Voldemort. I couldn't see his face because his back was turned, but he was talking to another person." Here Harry paused, as if he didn't know how to go on. "Did you know this person?" she asked, as if guessing the truth. Harry nodded. "His name is Peter Pettigrew, but everyone calls him Wormtail. You don't know him, but he's kind of like-"
Kentarre interrupted him, "I know who he is, Potter. Get on with it." Harry looked surprised, but shook it off and continued. "They were talking about someone who, I figured from what they were saying, had done something to mess them up. I listened long enough to figure out who they were talking about, and then I moved in closer. Then-"
"Wait, wait, hold on, Potter! Who were they talking about?"
"Well, you won't know who I'm talking about-"
"Who?"
"They were talking about this girl that we met in the Forbidden Forest the other day. Wormtail called her the blue warrior, but Voldemort called her Zorensei." Kentarre leaned back just slightly in her chair. "All right," she said after a few minutes, "then what happened?" Harry ran his tongue across his lips and said, "Well, they were saying that she had become a real problem, and that they were going to have to do something about her. Then Voldemort seemed to want to be alone to think, because he sent Wormtail off somewhere." Harry paused again, and then he went on, his voice much quieter now. "After Wormtail had gone, he turned around- and looked me square in the face. It was as if he knew I was there. That's when my scar started to burn. And then I woke up." Kentarre allowed this to sink into the silence before she spoke again. "Well, I'm glad I got that whole story before you forgot some of the details. But I have one question. That forest they were in- did it seem familiar? Could you tell me where it was, if I asked?"
Harry thought for a moment, his eyes on the floor, his face set in concentration. "I don't know," he said finally. "It's almost all a blur now. It seemed that the dream was very close, though. Maybe..." Harry paused, and his eyes darted to the window and back to Kentarre. Kentarre caught every bit. "The Forbidden Forest?" she asked, already knowing the answer. "I don't know," answered Harry. "I can't really say for sure. But it might be." Kentarre nodded. *Well, at least he was honest.*
Kentarre stood. "Thank you, Potter. I have no more questions," she said to him, and then she turned towards the staircases and started to climb the girls' one, but then she heard Harry calling her. "Kentarre," he said, "how did my dream wake you up?" Kentarre gave him a piercing look, and Harry was suddenly reminded of Dumbledore. "It's the same reason as before, Potter," she answered, though to Harry it wasn't much of an answer. "I told you, I'm not who you think I am. Your dream woke me up because of what you dreamed. I sensed that, and I woke up. I really can't tell you any more than that. Now go to bed." With that, she finished her climb up the stairs, and did not stop again until she had closed the door to the dorm.
Harry sighed and put his head in his hands. *That still didn't answer my question,* he thought, just slightly put out. *I wonder what Hermione and Ron will say. Well, I'll find out tomorrow.* He got up from the armchair and slowly padded across the common room, up the boys' staircase, and into the dormitory. The room was just as he had left it: dark and full of the sounds of breathing sleepers. Harry heard a snore or two coming from Neville's bunk, and Ron's had a hand sticking out from between his curtains. Harry put his glasses on his nightstand and got into bed, but he did not sleep for a very long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why didn't you wake me up?" accused Ron. The three friends sat in the empty common room that day while the other students were at breakfast. Kentarre had not been seen at all that morning; it was presumed that she had gotten up much earlier, and no one thought much of it. Harry replied, "Because you would have bitten my head off if I had, and don't say you wouldn't have, either!" Ron opened his mouth, and then, looking thoughtfully admitting, shut it again. Hermione shook her head. "That isn't what's important," she said, being right as usual. "What really irks me is that when Harry dreamed, Kentarre, who was in a completely different room, woke up. I don't know about you two, but that sounds to me like a clue to her real identity." Harry and Ron exchanged a glance, and then Harry said, "How exactly is that going to tell us who she really is?" Hermione informed him, "Simple. She must have some connection with You- Know-Who. That's the only solution, because that's what you were dreaming about, wasn't it?"
Harry and Ron exchanged another glance, this one much darker. "You mean..." began Ron, but he never got to finish, because Hermione wasn't done yet. "I'm not saying anything for certain," she conceded, but Harry contradicted her. "But you just said that's the only solution," he said, just beginning to feel that they were going around in circles. Hermione said, "Well, it's the only solution that we've come across so far. We'd better keep our eyes and ears open, all right?" Ron started to say something back, but Harry gave him a look, because at that moment, Kentarre appeared from behind the portrait. "Good morning," said Hermione in a friendly-type voice. Kentarre gave her a look that said quite plainly well,-someone-got-up-on-the-right-side-of-the-bed-this-morning-and-it-sure- as-heck-wasn't-me. Hermione asked cheerily, "So, where'd you go?" Kentarre gave her another look, but this time it said leave-me-the-heck- alone-because-it's-none-of-your-business.
Kentarre then turned her gaze to Harry. He was looking at her with an expression full of intent and question. "Don't forget, Potter," she reminded him darkly. "Tomorrow night." Harry nodded, but the inquiry in his eyes did not change.
Classes that day seemed short for Kentarre, but that was only because she had her mind elsewhere. It must have showed, too, for Harry, sounding almost concerned, asked her in Herbology what was the matter. They were continuing their work with the Carkels, and Kentarre was letting the light leak out of her wand. She had been thinking very hard, and Harry had to speak very loudly to wake her up. Kentarre shook herself mentally and looked at her wand. Almost the entire length of it was glowing a lightning blue color, and Hermione was eyeing it suspiciously. Kentarre did some incredibly quick thinking and dimmed the light down to make it seem as if it was only gathering on the end of the wand, trying as hard as she could to make it seem as though she was not doing it on purpose. Harry asked, "Are you okay?" Kentarre, not wanting him to think about it too much, said, "I've just got a lot on my mind today. I'll be all right." That seemed to be enough, but for the rest of the day, Kentarre noticed that Harry kept trying not to look at her. *This is too obvious,* Kentarre scolded herself. *Get a grip on it, Kentarre.*
Later, just before dinner, Kentarre announced that she would be coming with them to the Great Hall. Hermione looked at her dubiously. "You mean you're actually going to eat?" she asked doubtfully. Kentarre shook her head. "No, there are just a few things I want to keep an eye on," she replied, knowing full well that not a one of them knew what she meant by that. It wasn't any secret either; they all looked at each other and shrugged. Hermione, however, looked almost amused. "What are you going to keep an eye on, the food?" she asked, but Kentarre saw that her eyes already knew the answer to that. Kentarre said calmly, "No, actually, because it never goes anywhere, does it? Actually, I've just got some business to take care of before tomorrow, and I want to make sure everything's in place." Hermione raised one eyebrow slightly, but she didn't say anything more.
When they were at dinner, Kentarre said no word to anyone, but merely stared about, keeping her eyes alert and her hands steady. Her gaze, though no one noticed, passed over Malfoy, then Dumbledore, then Jycein. There her eyes rested for a very long time, and though Jycein caught her eyes once, she did not falter, but kept staring intently, sending all kinds of messages with the intensity of her glare. Whether he read these messages or not, no one but she could tell, as they exchanged the few moments of silence. When he looked away, she took a deep intake of breath, long and slow, and let it out in the same manner. *Learst,* she thought. *Why are you doing this? I know that you are aware of the consequences, but do you truly know? I realize that we never exactly got along back home, but would you stoop this low just to get back at me, or is there another reason? I promise you, I will have these answers!* Kentarre's jaw tightened and her fists clenched. *Learst! I will have these answers!*
After dinner, Kentarre walked out of the Great Hall and immediately headed up to the dormitory ahead of the crowd. She got to the common room ahead of everyone and went swiftly to her own corner in the shadows just to the right of the fireplace. Usually no one noticed her there, so it was the ideal place for eavesdropping, though she would never consciously call it that. She preferred to refer to it as gathering information.
The other Gryffindors now began to wander into the common room after saying prolonged goodnights to the members of other houses. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were among the first, followed by the Weasley twins and their little sister Ginny, of whom Kentarre had not seen much of that year. They all filed in, patting their stomachs happily. Ron had a few curry remnants on his chin, which Harry brought to his attention. None of them, as yet, had noticed Kentarre.
The group sat down in their customary chairs just to the left of the fire. They all groaned as they sat down, and Fred and George Weasley both reclined outrageously, nearly tipping their chairs backwards. "Oh, it feels like I haven't eaten like that in ages!" cried George. Fred said, "Mmm-hmm. Say, where's your friend Kentarre? She looked a trifle disturbed at dinner." Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged glances and shrugs. "We're not sure what that was about," said Harry. "She likes to keep to herself." Fred yawned. "Keeps to herself, does she? Maybe she's got something to hide," he suggested, giving George a look that could only mean more mischief. Ron harumphed and said, "You can try, but I sorta doubt she'll tell you anything." But the twins weren't listening. They merely looked at each other and then changed the subject. "So, what do you guys do when she's around? It must be kinda boring, talking to someone who doesn't talk back," said George. Harry and Ron looked at each other. If the harsh truth be told, it had been a rather pleasant change to Hermione's normal chattering. Fred asked, "Yeah, why are you friends with her anyway, if you don't mind my asking?"
This question, strangely, had been the exact question that Harry had been about to ask himself. Harry replied, "Well, I suppose I talked to her at first because she was new, but then a number of things happened and I didn't think about it anymore. Now, I guess I don't really know why."
Kentarre, hidden by the neighboring shadows, listened intently. This could be disastrous, as she herself knew, and she didn't want to ruin it for herself. She needed that boy's trust, and had gone to great lengths to gain his friendship. She would have approached him herself at the beginning of the year if he had not. Fred shrugged. "I don't know," he said, "but it sounds kind of fishy to me." George said quickly, "But that doesn't mean you have to listen to us. I mean, what would we know, right?" He looked at Fred, and they both got up. "See you," they said, and then they walked off to join a different group.
Kentarre let out the breath she'd been holding. *Those two,* she thought, giving the redheads a dark glare. *They're going to get me into trouble.* She looked back at Harry and his friends, who had begun talking again. Hermione was saying, "You know what I heard Pansy saying yesterday in the Entrance Hall?" Harry and Ron both leaned in closer, and Hermione continued. "Well, she was saying something about Malfoy dumping her for someone else." Hermione looked very smug. Ron asked, "Well, did you hear who?" Hermione said, "I sure did. She said that Malfoy had-" The brunette stopped to lean in closer and whisper, "That Malfoy had dumped her for Kentarre." Harry's eyebrows shot upwards, and Ron looked shocked. Hermione's face was annoyingly satisfied. "That's right," she said, "Kentarre."
Harry now looked confused. "But... why would Kentarre go steady with Malfoy? She can't stand him!" he puzzled. Ron shrugged. "Who knows why Kentarre does anything?" he pointed out. However, all three of them did agree that this was highly out of the ordinary.
Meanwhile, Kentarre, still concealed behind the mantle, had slacked in her attention to their conversation. *Why can't they talk about something more interesting? It won't last very long now, anyway. I only wanted to show him that I was unpredictable, that's all. It's no cosmic event.* And then she noticed that the conversation had taken yet another turn. Harry was saying, "Have you two heard anything more on the-" he lowered his voice "girl we saw?" Ron shook his head. "Nope, nothing," he said. Hermione said, "I've been trying, but so far I've come up with a blank." Harry said, "I haven't heard anything either, but I'm keeping my eyes peeled."
Kentarre stepped out from behind the mantle. Hermione, who was sitting opposite her, looked up immediately, her expression suspicious. "Hello, Kentarre," she said very loudly, giving the other two looks. They both turned around. "How long have you been standing there?" Harry wanted to know. Kentarre, still standing somewhat in the shadows, said, "That's not important. The last part I heard was about me and Malfoy." Harry looked dubious, but he said, "Oh, okay. Speaking of which, what's going on about that? Why'd you decide to go with Malfoy?" Kentarre asked suggestively, "Jealous, are you, Potter?"
Harry looked at her through his bangs. "No, I'm not," he said flatly, glaring at the others to stop them from laughing. Kentarre smirked. "Well then that's not important either, is it?" Ron snorted, and Harry gave him another scalding glare. Kentarre's smirk remained as she started for the dormitory door. "Goodnight," she murmured quickly to the trio by the fire, and then she disappeared up the girls' steps.
The mood quickly sombered. "Do you think she heard the very last bit?" asked Hermione worriedly. "Nah," said Ron, but even he looked uneasy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tuesday dawned, and the castle greeted a bright blue sky artfully strewn with fluffy, wispy clouds. Kentarre was up with the sun, and when the others got up, they found her gone. She came downstairs to an empty common room, which was to be expected at that hour, and went out, taking a shortcut to the front door. The unusually pale girl threw open the front doors and took a deep breath of the crisp, morning air. Snow lay all around, and Kentarre admired its cool whiteness. A few drifts had grown tall enough to catch the first morning rays, and they glittered at the peaks like diamond- capped hills. Kentarre took in the spectacle, enjoying the brief silence that she was allowed only at the beginning and end of each day.
Kentarre slowly descended the cold stone steps and kept going straight over the snow-smothered ground. *What am I going to do? What if I have to... and Potter... what if he... oh, gosh, what am I going to do if he sees? What in the name of all that is holy am I going to do?* Her troubled thoughts followed her to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. *Why am I so attracted to this place?* she wondered as she realized where she was. *What is it about these trees that draws me so? I wonder...* Kentarre put her left hand on the bark of the nearest tree, and was met with a slow, swelling pulse. She could feel it resounding through the tree's bark, and she knew what that pulse was; it was the tree's own life flowing through every fiber, down to the tip of the roots and up to the highest leaf. She also felt something else in the pulse- this forest has a life and mind of its own. Kentarre pulled her hand away from the trunk and turned away from the forest, almost deciding to go back to the castle. She stopped. *There's still a good while before the others have to be up.* Kentarre looked up at the castle. *Yes... they're all still asleep.* She turned to her right and began walking at a swifter pace. When she reached the center of the lawn, the place right next to the lake that had a few trees growing that were not part of the forest, she stopped and looked around. *Yes. I think this will provide enough cover, even if someone is up and watching.*
If anyone had been up so early in the morning and just happened to be looking out the window, here's what they would've seen: Kentarre disappeared into a grove of trees by the lake and a flash of blue light came from the spot where she had gone in. Suddenly, a great wind struck up from nowhere, and something with a blue trail shot directly into the sky from the center of the trees. The trail dissipated, and then the thing, or whatever it was, was gone.
Kentarre had indeed gone; she was now soaring above the castle roof, feeling the air passing around her, ruffling her clothes and hair and rushing by her pointed ears. She experienced that same exhileration that always accompanied flight. Her long white hair blew out behind her, and her bare feet enjoyed the freedom. Kentarre ignored all that her mind told her, forgot all the memories that she only faintly remembered, dismissed all that did not include this moment. She dove, spun, twirled, and allowed herself to be carried away by the sweet, cold wind.
But she could not, no matter how hard she tried, forget all that she had set out to do. She simply could not block out the memory of who she was and why she was here and whom she must protect with her life, her very soul even. Kentarre pulled up out of a deep, swooping dive and found herself facing the castle. She was now some distance away from it. She turned and saw the sunrise, bright and beautiful, the sun halfway risen. Kentarre found herself in the middle of an unbidden choice. She whirled about, looking from the sunrise to Hogwarts and back again. She suddenly heard some voice, from somewhere, calling her name, and she knew that voice. The tone of it was sharp and scolding and painfully reminding her of her duty. *Kentarre,* it said, *you cannot simply forget this. You must finish it. I am depending on you.*
The suspended girl knew then what her choice would be. She immediately about-faced, and flew off in the direction of the castle, where somebody important to her was just waking up.
Kentarre let this sink in. *Hmm... bet they weren't expecting that one. Oh well.* Harry and Ron tried not to look stunned, and Hermione had an expression that clearly said I-knew-it-all-along. Kentarre caught her eyes and held them, knowing full well that Hermione was the only one among them that had the slightest suspicion that Kentarre was not quite who she seemed. Hermione raised her eyebrows. "That last bit was a little vague," she said, mainly, Kentarre guessed, for the others' benefit. "I don't suppose we could persuade you to confide any more, hmm?"
Kentarre held her solemn gaze. "I should think I'd told you plenty. You're smart; you'll be able to figure things out from there. That little bit was simply a nudge in the right direction," she replied, then looked quickly at the other two. Harry was gazing at the floor and looking troubled about something, as though he longed to say something but couldn't, and Ron was biting his lip. Kentarre's gaze went from Harry to Ron and back to Harry to fix on him. "Spit it out, Potter," she said sharply, making him start. "It won't do any good if you don't say it."
Harry looked at her dubiously, and she prompted him with her eyes. "How do you know so much about this?" he blurted. "How do you know so much more than we do? How did you find all this out?" Kentarre leaned back in her chair. "It's simple, Potter," she answered. "I told you, I'm not who you think I am. But I can tell you no more than that. I'm sorry." Ron's eyes then lit just a little, and he looked at Harry and Hermione meaningfully. Kentarre read the exchange and said nothing. Then Hermione stood. "Well, it's getting late. We should turn in," she said, waiting for the other two to agree with her. Harry took the hint and also rose, saying, "Goodnight, Kentarre." Ron nodded at her, as if to say, 'What he said,' and then he followed Harry toward the boys' staircase. Hermione went to the foot of her staircase, but then stopped. "Are you coming?" she asked, turning her head to face Kentarre. Kentarre pretended not to hear her. Instead, she leaned over to one side of her chair and pulled out her black drawstring bag that contained her reed pipes. Hermione saw this and continued up the stairs.
Once she heard the door to the girls' dormitory shut, Kentarre took out her pipes and began to play. This melody, however, was different from the ones she had played for the trio. No, this song was soft and haunting, and very familiar to Kentarre. She played it with relish, glad to hear something of home, something that reminded her of where she truly belonged. She let the tones slowly lull her, and when the song was finished, she leaned far back in her chair and thought of home, that place that she had called her own for her entire life. She remembered the faces of the people who were close to her, and she smiled gently to herself. Slowly, she inhaled a deep breath, filling her mind with those fragrances that characterized her home, almost actually smelling them because of the vividness of the memory. *Only three years ago I was there,* she realized. *Oh, to be there once more!*
Kentarre sighed, and picked up the pipes again. She turned them over and fingered the runes that had been carved on the underside by her own hand. The runes read, in her language, "Whoever finds music, finds freedom." She smiled to herself, and then put the pipes to her lips. This time, the music that came out was her own song that she had written herself, one she had played many a time, and one that she loved dearly. The notes wrapped themselves around her, engulfing her in their comfort and expression of self, her self, her being. Kentarre felt herself long to fly with the music out to whoever might hear it; she felt her soul fighting to get out of her and join the music in its flight out of the window, down the wall of the castle, and into the night.
And then it was over. Many a time had Kentarre improvised this music to make it last longer, but it never seemed to last long enough. She bowed her head and allowed the memory of the music to echo off of the walls and come floating back to rest with her. Then she replaced her reeds in their bag, stood, and glided out of the room. She ascended the stair without a creak, not wanting to break the enormous and living silence after one has finished playing a piece that one put one's soul into. She entered the dormitory and went to bed, dreaming, for the first time since coming to Hogwarts, of flying over dark hills and mountains and meadows shimmering with early dew.
* * * 5 hours later* * *
Kentarre suddenly awoke, sitting straight upright in bed. Her heart was beating in a very fast rhythm, and her eyes gleamed in the light that poured through the crack in the other side of the curtain- the one near the window. Kentarre got out of bed via this parting and went to the window. Outside, the grounds looked peaceful and serene in the weakening moonlight, but Kentarre was not calmed by this. *Something's wrong,* she thought. She thought very fast, and finally decided to go downstairs into the common room to think some more. She pulled on her black cloak, which, surprisingly, had fallen to the floor from its spot at the end of her bed.
She went down to the common room and began to pace the floor. *Why did I wake up? Something's not right, but what is it?* She stopped pacing suddenly because she heard a noise that sounded as if it was coming from the boys' staircase. It also sounded like the noise someone might make if one was enduring serious pain. *Potter! So that's why I woke up!*
Kentarre crept silently up the boys' stairs and up to the fifth years' door. *Someone else had better not wake up, else I'll never hear the end of this,* she warned herself, and pushed the door open. Inside was all dark; it seemed that everyone was sleeping soundly- everyone, that is, except for one person. Kentarre located the bed from which the noises came, and she slunk around the edge of the room until she came to this bed. *I really shouldn't be here,* she told herself, and she stopped in her tracks. *I can always ask him about it in the morning. Besides, what if I interrupt him in the middle of an important dream? Assuming that that's what it is. All right. Even though I won't be able to sleep for the rest of the night, I'm going back.*
With that, she turned and started off towards the door, but before she could get to it, the sounds of pain from Potter's (she guessed) bed stopped. She heard a sound like someone letting out an enormous breath that they had been holding for two minutes, and then she heard a bed creak. She stopped in her tracks and looked for something to hide behind. Not wanting to hide behind someone's bed for fear of them waking, she slipped behind the mirror that was by the door. Not daring to peek around, Kentarre's ears perked, listening with all their might. She couldn't be sure, but she seemed to hear someone get out of his bed and pad across the room just to Kentarre's left. The window was in that vicinity, and Kentarre could almost see it. She moved into position and saw Potter in his PJs standing at the window, staring blankly out. Beads of sweat glimmered on his forehead, and his scar stood out more vividly than before. His bangs clung to his forehead, and his chest rose rapidly, as if he had been running very fast. Kentarre watched him closely, watched his fingers tremble at his side, watched his breathing gradually slow, watched him slowly bring one hand to his forehead to wipe the sweat out of his eyes, watched him turn his head to lock eyes with her. He started severely, and she held out her hands to tell him to calm down. It looked as though she had given him quite a scare, but he didn't move. She brought one finger to her lips, and then inclined her head towards the door. To give him the idea, she turned around and headed for the door herself, opening it and then waiting for him to get the message.
It took a few seconds, but Harry finally got it that she wanted to talk. His eyes were very wide as he passed her, but she let him go down the stairs first. Once they got downstairs, he turned around to meet her as she came down. "What were you doing in there?" he asked quietly, sounding more shocked than angry. Kentarre told him bluntly, "Sit down." He shook his head. "No," he refused, "not until you tell me what you were doing in the boys' dormitory at 3:00 in the morning!"
She put a finger to her lips and said shortly, "You woke me up." He did a double take, and then said incredulously, "No, I didn't!" She tensed her jaw and replied, "If you sit down, I'll explain. Now, you can make this as hard as you want, but I promise you I will have my answers by the time that sun rises." Harry seemed to have a reply to that, but then thought better of it. He plopped down into a nearby armchair and said, "Okay, talk." Kentarre also sat and said, "I told you that you woke me up, and that's not exactly correct. Your dream woke me up." At this, Harry's person completely changed. His eyes went from accusing to a mix of incredulity and fear, his lips went slack, and his shoulders relaxed. She nodded at him as if to say 'It's true,' and then she went on. "Now I'm going to ask you something: what was that dream about?"
Harry hesitated for a moment, as if he didn't want to talk about it just yet, and she said sharply, "I want to make sure that it doesn't fade from your memory before I hear about it. I'm sorry if this is painful, but I'm not like Dumbledore. I need to know." Harry took a slow, deep breath and said, "Well, I dreamed that I was in a forest somewhere, and it was nighttime all around. There was a light coming through the trees, so I followed it. There, in the middle of the forest, was something that was a kind of cleared area, and there were people all around dressed in black hooded robes. They looked very busy, and they were rushing around in a big hurry. It looked kind of like they were building something. There were small fires built all around, and there were people crouching over them too. I went on through the workers, and, like the other dreams I've had like this, they couldn't see me. Anyway, I found this cut off section of the clearing, and standing there talking to somebody was- was... Voldemort. I couldn't see his face because his back was turned, but he was talking to another person." Here Harry paused, as if he didn't know how to go on. "Did you know this person?" she asked, as if guessing the truth. Harry nodded. "His name is Peter Pettigrew, but everyone calls him Wormtail. You don't know him, but he's kind of like-"
Kentarre interrupted him, "I know who he is, Potter. Get on with it." Harry looked surprised, but shook it off and continued. "They were talking about someone who, I figured from what they were saying, had done something to mess them up. I listened long enough to figure out who they were talking about, and then I moved in closer. Then-"
"Wait, wait, hold on, Potter! Who were they talking about?"
"Well, you won't know who I'm talking about-"
"Who?"
"They were talking about this girl that we met in the Forbidden Forest the other day. Wormtail called her the blue warrior, but Voldemort called her Zorensei." Kentarre leaned back just slightly in her chair. "All right," she said after a few minutes, "then what happened?" Harry ran his tongue across his lips and said, "Well, they were saying that she had become a real problem, and that they were going to have to do something about her. Then Voldemort seemed to want to be alone to think, because he sent Wormtail off somewhere." Harry paused again, and then he went on, his voice much quieter now. "After Wormtail had gone, he turned around- and looked me square in the face. It was as if he knew I was there. That's when my scar started to burn. And then I woke up." Kentarre allowed this to sink into the silence before she spoke again. "Well, I'm glad I got that whole story before you forgot some of the details. But I have one question. That forest they were in- did it seem familiar? Could you tell me where it was, if I asked?"
Harry thought for a moment, his eyes on the floor, his face set in concentration. "I don't know," he said finally. "It's almost all a blur now. It seemed that the dream was very close, though. Maybe..." Harry paused, and his eyes darted to the window and back to Kentarre. Kentarre caught every bit. "The Forbidden Forest?" she asked, already knowing the answer. "I don't know," answered Harry. "I can't really say for sure. But it might be." Kentarre nodded. *Well, at least he was honest.*
Kentarre stood. "Thank you, Potter. I have no more questions," she said to him, and then she turned towards the staircases and started to climb the girls' one, but then she heard Harry calling her. "Kentarre," he said, "how did my dream wake you up?" Kentarre gave him a piercing look, and Harry was suddenly reminded of Dumbledore. "It's the same reason as before, Potter," she answered, though to Harry it wasn't much of an answer. "I told you, I'm not who you think I am. Your dream woke me up because of what you dreamed. I sensed that, and I woke up. I really can't tell you any more than that. Now go to bed." With that, she finished her climb up the stairs, and did not stop again until she had closed the door to the dorm.
Harry sighed and put his head in his hands. *That still didn't answer my question,* he thought, just slightly put out. *I wonder what Hermione and Ron will say. Well, I'll find out tomorrow.* He got up from the armchair and slowly padded across the common room, up the boys' staircase, and into the dormitory. The room was just as he had left it: dark and full of the sounds of breathing sleepers. Harry heard a snore or two coming from Neville's bunk, and Ron's had a hand sticking out from between his curtains. Harry put his glasses on his nightstand and got into bed, but he did not sleep for a very long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why didn't you wake me up?" accused Ron. The three friends sat in the empty common room that day while the other students were at breakfast. Kentarre had not been seen at all that morning; it was presumed that she had gotten up much earlier, and no one thought much of it. Harry replied, "Because you would have bitten my head off if I had, and don't say you wouldn't have, either!" Ron opened his mouth, and then, looking thoughtfully admitting, shut it again. Hermione shook her head. "That isn't what's important," she said, being right as usual. "What really irks me is that when Harry dreamed, Kentarre, who was in a completely different room, woke up. I don't know about you two, but that sounds to me like a clue to her real identity." Harry and Ron exchanged a glance, and then Harry said, "How exactly is that going to tell us who she really is?" Hermione informed him, "Simple. She must have some connection with You- Know-Who. That's the only solution, because that's what you were dreaming about, wasn't it?"
Harry and Ron exchanged another glance, this one much darker. "You mean..." began Ron, but he never got to finish, because Hermione wasn't done yet. "I'm not saying anything for certain," she conceded, but Harry contradicted her. "But you just said that's the only solution," he said, just beginning to feel that they were going around in circles. Hermione said, "Well, it's the only solution that we've come across so far. We'd better keep our eyes and ears open, all right?" Ron started to say something back, but Harry gave him a look, because at that moment, Kentarre appeared from behind the portrait. "Good morning," said Hermione in a friendly-type voice. Kentarre gave her a look that said quite plainly well,-someone-got-up-on-the-right-side-of-the-bed-this-morning-and-it-sure- as-heck-wasn't-me. Hermione asked cheerily, "So, where'd you go?" Kentarre gave her another look, but this time it said leave-me-the-heck- alone-because-it's-none-of-your-business.
Kentarre then turned her gaze to Harry. He was looking at her with an expression full of intent and question. "Don't forget, Potter," she reminded him darkly. "Tomorrow night." Harry nodded, but the inquiry in his eyes did not change.
Classes that day seemed short for Kentarre, but that was only because she had her mind elsewhere. It must have showed, too, for Harry, sounding almost concerned, asked her in Herbology what was the matter. They were continuing their work with the Carkels, and Kentarre was letting the light leak out of her wand. She had been thinking very hard, and Harry had to speak very loudly to wake her up. Kentarre shook herself mentally and looked at her wand. Almost the entire length of it was glowing a lightning blue color, and Hermione was eyeing it suspiciously. Kentarre did some incredibly quick thinking and dimmed the light down to make it seem as if it was only gathering on the end of the wand, trying as hard as she could to make it seem as though she was not doing it on purpose. Harry asked, "Are you okay?" Kentarre, not wanting him to think about it too much, said, "I've just got a lot on my mind today. I'll be all right." That seemed to be enough, but for the rest of the day, Kentarre noticed that Harry kept trying not to look at her. *This is too obvious,* Kentarre scolded herself. *Get a grip on it, Kentarre.*
Later, just before dinner, Kentarre announced that she would be coming with them to the Great Hall. Hermione looked at her dubiously. "You mean you're actually going to eat?" she asked doubtfully. Kentarre shook her head. "No, there are just a few things I want to keep an eye on," she replied, knowing full well that not a one of them knew what she meant by that. It wasn't any secret either; they all looked at each other and shrugged. Hermione, however, looked almost amused. "What are you going to keep an eye on, the food?" she asked, but Kentarre saw that her eyes already knew the answer to that. Kentarre said calmly, "No, actually, because it never goes anywhere, does it? Actually, I've just got some business to take care of before tomorrow, and I want to make sure everything's in place." Hermione raised one eyebrow slightly, but she didn't say anything more.
When they were at dinner, Kentarre said no word to anyone, but merely stared about, keeping her eyes alert and her hands steady. Her gaze, though no one noticed, passed over Malfoy, then Dumbledore, then Jycein. There her eyes rested for a very long time, and though Jycein caught her eyes once, she did not falter, but kept staring intently, sending all kinds of messages with the intensity of her glare. Whether he read these messages or not, no one but she could tell, as they exchanged the few moments of silence. When he looked away, she took a deep intake of breath, long and slow, and let it out in the same manner. *Learst,* she thought. *Why are you doing this? I know that you are aware of the consequences, but do you truly know? I realize that we never exactly got along back home, but would you stoop this low just to get back at me, or is there another reason? I promise you, I will have these answers!* Kentarre's jaw tightened and her fists clenched. *Learst! I will have these answers!*
After dinner, Kentarre walked out of the Great Hall and immediately headed up to the dormitory ahead of the crowd. She got to the common room ahead of everyone and went swiftly to her own corner in the shadows just to the right of the fireplace. Usually no one noticed her there, so it was the ideal place for eavesdropping, though she would never consciously call it that. She preferred to refer to it as gathering information.
The other Gryffindors now began to wander into the common room after saying prolonged goodnights to the members of other houses. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were among the first, followed by the Weasley twins and their little sister Ginny, of whom Kentarre had not seen much of that year. They all filed in, patting their stomachs happily. Ron had a few curry remnants on his chin, which Harry brought to his attention. None of them, as yet, had noticed Kentarre.
The group sat down in their customary chairs just to the left of the fire. They all groaned as they sat down, and Fred and George Weasley both reclined outrageously, nearly tipping their chairs backwards. "Oh, it feels like I haven't eaten like that in ages!" cried George. Fred said, "Mmm-hmm. Say, where's your friend Kentarre? She looked a trifle disturbed at dinner." Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged glances and shrugs. "We're not sure what that was about," said Harry. "She likes to keep to herself." Fred yawned. "Keeps to herself, does she? Maybe she's got something to hide," he suggested, giving George a look that could only mean more mischief. Ron harumphed and said, "You can try, but I sorta doubt she'll tell you anything." But the twins weren't listening. They merely looked at each other and then changed the subject. "So, what do you guys do when she's around? It must be kinda boring, talking to someone who doesn't talk back," said George. Harry and Ron looked at each other. If the harsh truth be told, it had been a rather pleasant change to Hermione's normal chattering. Fred asked, "Yeah, why are you friends with her anyway, if you don't mind my asking?"
This question, strangely, had been the exact question that Harry had been about to ask himself. Harry replied, "Well, I suppose I talked to her at first because she was new, but then a number of things happened and I didn't think about it anymore. Now, I guess I don't really know why."
Kentarre, hidden by the neighboring shadows, listened intently. This could be disastrous, as she herself knew, and she didn't want to ruin it for herself. She needed that boy's trust, and had gone to great lengths to gain his friendship. She would have approached him herself at the beginning of the year if he had not. Fred shrugged. "I don't know," he said, "but it sounds kind of fishy to me." George said quickly, "But that doesn't mean you have to listen to us. I mean, what would we know, right?" He looked at Fred, and they both got up. "See you," they said, and then they walked off to join a different group.
Kentarre let out the breath she'd been holding. *Those two,* she thought, giving the redheads a dark glare. *They're going to get me into trouble.* She looked back at Harry and his friends, who had begun talking again. Hermione was saying, "You know what I heard Pansy saying yesterday in the Entrance Hall?" Harry and Ron both leaned in closer, and Hermione continued. "Well, she was saying something about Malfoy dumping her for someone else." Hermione looked very smug. Ron asked, "Well, did you hear who?" Hermione said, "I sure did. She said that Malfoy had-" The brunette stopped to lean in closer and whisper, "That Malfoy had dumped her for Kentarre." Harry's eyebrows shot upwards, and Ron looked shocked. Hermione's face was annoyingly satisfied. "That's right," she said, "Kentarre."
Harry now looked confused. "But... why would Kentarre go steady with Malfoy? She can't stand him!" he puzzled. Ron shrugged. "Who knows why Kentarre does anything?" he pointed out. However, all three of them did agree that this was highly out of the ordinary.
Meanwhile, Kentarre, still concealed behind the mantle, had slacked in her attention to their conversation. *Why can't they talk about something more interesting? It won't last very long now, anyway. I only wanted to show him that I was unpredictable, that's all. It's no cosmic event.* And then she noticed that the conversation had taken yet another turn. Harry was saying, "Have you two heard anything more on the-" he lowered his voice "girl we saw?" Ron shook his head. "Nope, nothing," he said. Hermione said, "I've been trying, but so far I've come up with a blank." Harry said, "I haven't heard anything either, but I'm keeping my eyes peeled."
Kentarre stepped out from behind the mantle. Hermione, who was sitting opposite her, looked up immediately, her expression suspicious. "Hello, Kentarre," she said very loudly, giving the other two looks. They both turned around. "How long have you been standing there?" Harry wanted to know. Kentarre, still standing somewhat in the shadows, said, "That's not important. The last part I heard was about me and Malfoy." Harry looked dubious, but he said, "Oh, okay. Speaking of which, what's going on about that? Why'd you decide to go with Malfoy?" Kentarre asked suggestively, "Jealous, are you, Potter?"
Harry looked at her through his bangs. "No, I'm not," he said flatly, glaring at the others to stop them from laughing. Kentarre smirked. "Well then that's not important either, is it?" Ron snorted, and Harry gave him another scalding glare. Kentarre's smirk remained as she started for the dormitory door. "Goodnight," she murmured quickly to the trio by the fire, and then she disappeared up the girls' steps.
The mood quickly sombered. "Do you think she heard the very last bit?" asked Hermione worriedly. "Nah," said Ron, but even he looked uneasy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tuesday dawned, and the castle greeted a bright blue sky artfully strewn with fluffy, wispy clouds. Kentarre was up with the sun, and when the others got up, they found her gone. She came downstairs to an empty common room, which was to be expected at that hour, and went out, taking a shortcut to the front door. The unusually pale girl threw open the front doors and took a deep breath of the crisp, morning air. Snow lay all around, and Kentarre admired its cool whiteness. A few drifts had grown tall enough to catch the first morning rays, and they glittered at the peaks like diamond- capped hills. Kentarre took in the spectacle, enjoying the brief silence that she was allowed only at the beginning and end of each day.
Kentarre slowly descended the cold stone steps and kept going straight over the snow-smothered ground. *What am I going to do? What if I have to... and Potter... what if he... oh, gosh, what am I going to do if he sees? What in the name of all that is holy am I going to do?* Her troubled thoughts followed her to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. *Why am I so attracted to this place?* she wondered as she realized where she was. *What is it about these trees that draws me so? I wonder...* Kentarre put her left hand on the bark of the nearest tree, and was met with a slow, swelling pulse. She could feel it resounding through the tree's bark, and she knew what that pulse was; it was the tree's own life flowing through every fiber, down to the tip of the roots and up to the highest leaf. She also felt something else in the pulse- this forest has a life and mind of its own. Kentarre pulled her hand away from the trunk and turned away from the forest, almost deciding to go back to the castle. She stopped. *There's still a good while before the others have to be up.* Kentarre looked up at the castle. *Yes... they're all still asleep.* She turned to her right and began walking at a swifter pace. When she reached the center of the lawn, the place right next to the lake that had a few trees growing that were not part of the forest, she stopped and looked around. *Yes. I think this will provide enough cover, even if someone is up and watching.*
If anyone had been up so early in the morning and just happened to be looking out the window, here's what they would've seen: Kentarre disappeared into a grove of trees by the lake and a flash of blue light came from the spot where she had gone in. Suddenly, a great wind struck up from nowhere, and something with a blue trail shot directly into the sky from the center of the trees. The trail dissipated, and then the thing, or whatever it was, was gone.
Kentarre had indeed gone; she was now soaring above the castle roof, feeling the air passing around her, ruffling her clothes and hair and rushing by her pointed ears. She experienced that same exhileration that always accompanied flight. Her long white hair blew out behind her, and her bare feet enjoyed the freedom. Kentarre ignored all that her mind told her, forgot all the memories that she only faintly remembered, dismissed all that did not include this moment. She dove, spun, twirled, and allowed herself to be carried away by the sweet, cold wind.
But she could not, no matter how hard she tried, forget all that she had set out to do. She simply could not block out the memory of who she was and why she was here and whom she must protect with her life, her very soul even. Kentarre pulled up out of a deep, swooping dive and found herself facing the castle. She was now some distance away from it. She turned and saw the sunrise, bright and beautiful, the sun halfway risen. Kentarre found herself in the middle of an unbidden choice. She whirled about, looking from the sunrise to Hogwarts and back again. She suddenly heard some voice, from somewhere, calling her name, and she knew that voice. The tone of it was sharp and scolding and painfully reminding her of her duty. *Kentarre,* it said, *you cannot simply forget this. You must finish it. I am depending on you.*
The suspended girl knew then what her choice would be. She immediately about-faced, and flew off in the direction of the castle, where somebody important to her was just waking up.