Here I go yet again. This is my little parody. I kinda get sick of reading
the same stuff over and over again. So here's almost every L/J fic summed
up for you.
Things in parenthesis, or however you spell it, these things )(()()()( are my own little comments. stuff surrounded by ~these~ is supposed to be sarcastic.
Disclaimer: I'm making fun of all the plots so you can't really say I own them. And I don't own Harry Potter either.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~ Lily Evans was a very special girl (~NO! she was a dirty little gutter rat that ate the Daily Mail for nourishment~ really why would we be talking about her if she wasn't special?). She always made strange things happen. She was very surprised when and owl gave her a letter one day, telling her that she was a witch and that she was accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy. (This part just kills me. If she was Muggle-born, why do they go off sending her an owl? I would like to think she got her letter by way of the normal postman.)
Just then, a wizard came from out of her fireplace. (~He couldn't just ring the doorbell?~) Her parents were overjoyed with the wizard. (~Oh yes. All people just love it when strange men break into their house by way of the lit fireplace~) The man's name was Albus Dumbledore, (~Yes he's running a school and trying to defect Voldemort, but he still has time to explain the wizarding world to a bunch of Muggles and a Muggle-born.~) and he told Lily she was a witch. Lily was very happy and so were her parents. He offered to take Lily shopping. Lily's parents gave him money and sent he and Lily on their way. (~Oh what a fabulous idea! give your daughter to a strange man along with a big wad of money~)
Lily went and bought all of the school supplies she would need for her first year at Hogwarts. (Does it annoy anyone else how similar some people make Harry's and Lily's shopping trips seem?) She still had some money left over so she bought herself a pure white owl. (How many of these owls can there be? ) Dumbledore had to make a visit to Madam Malkins so he left Lily alone at the ice cream parlor. (~ How many smart people can we take in such a short time? Yes, yes, yes! Leave a poor defenseless Muggle-born alone, when Voldemort could turn up at any time~)
As Lily sat (alone and defenseless I might add), two boys with dark hair and eyes approached her. (Is it me or aren't most 11 year olds afraid of the opposite sex? )
"May we sit here?" asked one. ( this one would have to James-people seem to consider Sirius deficient in manners.)
"Sure," she agreed.
"I'm James and he's Sirius." the first boy introduced.
"I'm Lily Evans."
"Nice to meet you."
"Yes a pleasure." (WOW I've never heard 11 year olds talk so nicely to each other)
The second boy just had to ruin everything. (Oh, silly Sirius!)
"Ice cream makes you fat, you know."
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Lily's eyes got a dangerous glint. (What kind of 11 year old worries about ice cream and fat? And what kind spazes out like this?)
"No that's not what he's saying," James said. "But I say you are."
Sirius tried to keep the peace. "You just don't like her because she didn't fall madly in love with you right away." (Another 11 year old. This one knows about jealousy and love. And who does James think he is?. . . . . . having a fan club and a huge ego at this age?. . . . . I don't even want to know what he'll be like once his hormones kick in.)
Lily stormed out of the shop then. (Now Lily steals stuff- she didn't pay for the ice cream.) She met up with Dumbledore and they went back to her house. (Where else are they going to go?)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~
Lily stood in between the platforms nine and ten at Kings Cross Station. She looked at her ticket for the millionth time. It clearly said platform nine and three quarters. Lily couldn't find it anywhere. (How stupid is this. Just because Harry couldn't find it, I guess all Muggle-borns must not know how to reach the platform.) She had to ask a boy who was carrying an owl. He took her with him onto the platform and they parted ways. (This part gets sooooo boring. I hate even writing it)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~
A/N skipping the train ride. my fingers are going to fall off from typing all that boring stuff. I'll make a new chapter but for right now I can't. Writing this makes me want to go off and run around for a while.
REVIEW!
Things in parenthesis, or however you spell it, these things )(()()()( are my own little comments. stuff surrounded by ~these~ is supposed to be sarcastic.
Disclaimer: I'm making fun of all the plots so you can't really say I own them. And I don't own Harry Potter either.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~ Lily Evans was a very special girl (~NO! she was a dirty little gutter rat that ate the Daily Mail for nourishment~ really why would we be talking about her if she wasn't special?). She always made strange things happen. She was very surprised when and owl gave her a letter one day, telling her that she was a witch and that she was accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy. (This part just kills me. If she was Muggle-born, why do they go off sending her an owl? I would like to think she got her letter by way of the normal postman.)
Just then, a wizard came from out of her fireplace. (~He couldn't just ring the doorbell?~) Her parents were overjoyed with the wizard. (~Oh yes. All people just love it when strange men break into their house by way of the lit fireplace~) The man's name was Albus Dumbledore, (~Yes he's running a school and trying to defect Voldemort, but he still has time to explain the wizarding world to a bunch of Muggles and a Muggle-born.~) and he told Lily she was a witch. Lily was very happy and so were her parents. He offered to take Lily shopping. Lily's parents gave him money and sent he and Lily on their way. (~Oh what a fabulous idea! give your daughter to a strange man along with a big wad of money~)
Lily went and bought all of the school supplies she would need for her first year at Hogwarts. (Does it annoy anyone else how similar some people make Harry's and Lily's shopping trips seem?) She still had some money left over so she bought herself a pure white owl. (How many of these owls can there be? ) Dumbledore had to make a visit to Madam Malkins so he left Lily alone at the ice cream parlor. (~ How many smart people can we take in such a short time? Yes, yes, yes! Leave a poor defenseless Muggle-born alone, when Voldemort could turn up at any time~)
As Lily sat (alone and defenseless I might add), two boys with dark hair and eyes approached her. (Is it me or aren't most 11 year olds afraid of the opposite sex? )
"May we sit here?" asked one. ( this one would have to James-people seem to consider Sirius deficient in manners.)
"Sure," she agreed.
"I'm James and he's Sirius." the first boy introduced.
"I'm Lily Evans."
"Nice to meet you."
"Yes a pleasure." (WOW I've never heard 11 year olds talk so nicely to each other)
The second boy just had to ruin everything. (Oh, silly Sirius!)
"Ice cream makes you fat, you know."
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Lily's eyes got a dangerous glint. (What kind of 11 year old worries about ice cream and fat? And what kind spazes out like this?)
"No that's not what he's saying," James said. "But I say you are."
Sirius tried to keep the peace. "You just don't like her because she didn't fall madly in love with you right away." (Another 11 year old. This one knows about jealousy and love. And who does James think he is?. . . . . . having a fan club and a huge ego at this age?. . . . . I don't even want to know what he'll be like once his hormones kick in.)
Lily stormed out of the shop then. (Now Lily steals stuff- she didn't pay for the ice cream.) She met up with Dumbledore and they went back to her house. (Where else are they going to go?)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~
Lily stood in between the platforms nine and ten at Kings Cross Station. She looked at her ticket for the millionth time. It clearly said platform nine and three quarters. Lily couldn't find it anywhere. (How stupid is this. Just because Harry couldn't find it, I guess all Muggle-borns must not know how to reach the platform.) She had to ask a boy who was carrying an owl. He took her with him onto the platform and they parted ways. (This part gets sooooo boring. I hate even writing it)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~
A/N skipping the train ride. my fingers are going to fall off from typing all that boring stuff. I'll make a new chapter but for right now I can't. Writing this makes me want to go off and run around for a while.
REVIEW!