A/N: I know I had you all on the edge of your seats just now, but you can finally breathe now. Now we can find out who rudely poked Lily. Well, I know but now I'm being generous and telling you!
**Remember**
()= author's notes
~~~= my little sarcastic comments
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Not even the plots. I'm making fun of all of them. Even mine I bet. Eh. Who cares?
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Of Premonitions and Parodies
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Chapter Three:
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It was Snape.
"You shouldn't be at Hogwarts, you dirty little Mudblood," stated Snape. (How does he know she's Muggle born? She could just be some person who just moved to England or someone he hasn't met yet.)
"Snape!" spat a familiar voice. "Do you have to pick on the defenseless ones?" It was James. (~Potter vs. Snape over Lily. This hasn't been done before~)
The two got into a huge fight, but stopped when the professor returned. She led them into a big hall. (yada, yada, yada...no one cares. I can't write this-it's too stupid. I'm going to skip ahead.)
The hat started to call out names. (First off, some professor calls out the name, not the hat.)
"Awas."
"Black"
"Caubs."
"Devany."
"Evans" (~In such a small school like Hogwarts, there are always twenty-six children. Each of their last names begin with a different letter of the alphabet.~)
Lily walked up to the hat and placed it over her head. Then she heard a soft voice.
"Ahh I see. Such bravery in your future. Only one place for you, my dear...GRYFINNDOR!" (Some magical little hat can no way know the future.)
Lily sat down next to a man with fiery red hair. (Who could this be??)
"Hello, I'm Authur Weasley," he greeted.
"Lily Evans," she said. (Are you ready for some ranting? Well here some comes so deal: I have a very strong theory that the Weasleys weren't at Hogwarts during Lily and James's time. First, Bill and Charlie are about ten years older than Harry, I'm guessing. This means that those two are going to have to start having kids very, very, very soon. Just think about it. Oh and there's this whole Ogg thing... Hagrid must have been gamekeeper for Lily and James, and I get the feeling that he was quite experienced at it by then. This doesn't make too much sense, but I haven't eaten in like two weeks so bare with me.)
Lily had a very enjoyable meal, besides the fact that James flung potatoes at her. (Why is it always potatoes?) Sirius then yelled "Food Fight" and the whole school got into it. (~School's just love food fights. Why, they happen all the time, especially on one of the most important nights of the year~)
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Sorry all. I'm just not motivated to write this part. I HATE FIRST YEAR FICS!!!!!!!! I know some of them are good, but the ones that aren't, well, they make me want to throw my computer out the window! Eh, I'll live. Well I waited so long to post this basically because I thought that I already posted it. Well that was stupid, but it can't be helped. This chapter wasn't very funny, I know. I'm still a little ill and my muses, my wit, my intellect have all deserted me. Oh well.
**Remember**
()= author's notes
~~~= my little sarcastic comments
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Not even the plots. I'm making fun of all of them. Even mine I bet. Eh. Who cares?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Of Premonitions and Parodies
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Three:
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was Snape.
"You shouldn't be at Hogwarts, you dirty little Mudblood," stated Snape. (How does he know she's Muggle born? She could just be some person who just moved to England or someone he hasn't met yet.)
"Snape!" spat a familiar voice. "Do you have to pick on the defenseless ones?" It was James. (~Potter vs. Snape over Lily. This hasn't been done before~)
The two got into a huge fight, but stopped when the professor returned. She led them into a big hall. (yada, yada, yada...no one cares. I can't write this-it's too stupid. I'm going to skip ahead.)
The hat started to call out names. (First off, some professor calls out the name, not the hat.)
"Awas."
"Black"
"Caubs."
"Devany."
"Evans" (~In such a small school like Hogwarts, there are always twenty-six children. Each of their last names begin with a different letter of the alphabet.~)
Lily walked up to the hat and placed it over her head. Then she heard a soft voice.
"Ahh I see. Such bravery in your future. Only one place for you, my dear...GRYFINNDOR!" (Some magical little hat can no way know the future.)
Lily sat down next to a man with fiery red hair. (Who could this be??)
"Hello, I'm Authur Weasley," he greeted.
"Lily Evans," she said. (Are you ready for some ranting? Well here some comes so deal: I have a very strong theory that the Weasleys weren't at Hogwarts during Lily and James's time. First, Bill and Charlie are about ten years older than Harry, I'm guessing. This means that those two are going to have to start having kids very, very, very soon. Just think about it. Oh and there's this whole Ogg thing... Hagrid must have been gamekeeper for Lily and James, and I get the feeling that he was quite experienced at it by then. This doesn't make too much sense, but I haven't eaten in like two weeks so bare with me.)
Lily had a very enjoyable meal, besides the fact that James flung potatoes at her. (Why is it always potatoes?) Sirius then yelled "Food Fight" and the whole school got into it. (~School's just love food fights. Why, they happen all the time, especially on one of the most important nights of the year~)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sorry all. I'm just not motivated to write this part. I HATE FIRST YEAR FICS!!!!!!!! I know some of them are good, but the ones that aren't, well, they make me want to throw my computer out the window! Eh, I'll live. Well I waited so long to post this basically because I thought that I already posted it. Well that was stupid, but it can't be helped. This chapter wasn't very funny, I know. I'm still a little ill and my muses, my wit, my intellect have all deserted me. Oh well.