WendyNat
Chapter 6
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He really IS brilliant, Hermione thought to herself in wonder. She had always recognized his intelligence and skill, but now that she was viewing him from the perspective of a Potions Mistress rather than an apprentice she could truly appreciate his genius in this field.
She was particularly impressed with his blending of muggle biology and organic chemistry with the magical elements. It seemed that he had been listening to some of her ideas when she was an apprentice, for him to even consider mixing muggle science with magic. And from the looks of it, he'd gone far deeper into the analysis of DNA than even Hermione had ever dreamed of doing. Absolutely brilliant. Severus had been able to isolate the DNA sequences that were modified and design a potion to adjust just those sequences.
Beside her, Hestia also looked impressed, if a bit confused. Hermione knew the muggle science explanations were most likely going straight over her head. Probably over most of the attendees' heads, Hermione admitted to herself. Some are even over my head.
~~~~
Unbeknownst to her, Severus was having similar thoughts about the attendees' abilities to understand his forays into muggle DNA science. He barely held back a sneer as he waved his wand to change the image hovering above the crowd, this time showing a diagram of the modified werewolf sequence. This assemblage is purported to contain the preeminent minds in Potions? Most of them have no idea what this diagram represents, even with my precise explanations. While most of the lecture participants had blank looks, he did have to acknowledge that they sat in rapt silence, absorbing what their sluggish minds could follow.
There were a few exceptions – being a teacher for over twenty years had granted him the ability to accurately judge the comprehension level of his listeners. His colleague from LWU was nodding to himself, staring with narrowed eyes at the new diagram. In the second row, he saw Hestia Jones sitting with a furrowed brow – she didn't understand all of the detail but she seemed to recognize the basic premise. And beside her…
Hermione Granger. No, damn it all – Hermione Krum. She appeared to have no problem following his logic, nodding every now and then and smiling when she saw where his thought processes were leading. She was likely the only person in the entire lecture hall other than himself who could truly understand the details of how he had discovered the cure. All of a sudden, she turned her head; her shining eyes boring directly into his. A shock like a lightning bolt tore through him at the contact, and he averted his eyes quickly. Clearing his throat, he continued with the lecture.
~~~~
Severus was now demonstrating the brewing of the potion. Since the potion took weeks to brew from start to finish, he had brought a number of sample cauldrons with potions in various stages of the brewing process. Like a Muggle cooking show, Hermione thought with a smile. The smile faltered when her eyes fell to his hands, dexterously handling the potions ingredients. Those hands…
She had always loved his hands. If only I hadn't seen those hands on her, Hermione thought savagely. She hadn't told Remus and Susan everything. When Hermione had gone to Harry almost six years ago to pour her heart out over her confused feelings for Viktor and her yearning for Severus, Harry had dropped the bombshell on her. He had seen Severus with Tonks no more than a month after she had left. She hadn't believed him, had thought it some sort of trick to convince her to forget Severus, had been convinced that he'd mistaken an innocent exchange for something more ominous. Until he'd forced her to look into the Pensieve. Dear Gods, why did I look? Why didn't I just trust Harry at his word? What she had seen was forever emblazoned in her memory.
~*~*
She couldn't see him, but she knew Harry was close by in his Invisibility Cloak. After all, she was in a Pensieve containing his memories. She walked down a hallway that she recognized from the Order Headquarters. A door before her opened, and she ducked through before it clicked shut behind her.
She and Harry were in one of the many spare bedrooms of 12 Grimmauld Place. There was no one else present. Harry, from the muttering she could hear, must have settled himself in the corner chair to think.
Suddenly, the door opened. Tonks walked in, followed closely by Severus. She had the irrational urge to run to the image of Severus and embrace him, but restrained herself. However, it appeared that Tonks had similar thoughts. She turned to face Severus and wrapped her arms around him. Hermione could hear her breathy whisper, "Don't worry. I've taken care of it."
Severus' face was hidden from her view, and she was frozen in place. She heard him reply, "I can't tell you what this means to me, Nymphadora. Are you ready?" Tonks nodded in response, and her hair seemed to change to a glistening gold. Abruptly, Severus swung her around and began kissing her soundly.
Hermione cried out at the sight, tears prickling her eyes. She wanted to look away, look anywhere but at the scene before her. Frantically scanning the room, she saw that the door was shut and warded. That's why Harry couldn't leave, she realized, trying to ignore the couple not ten feet away from where she was standing.
Not able to resist any longer, she looked back and let out a sob. His hands, those beautiful hands, were running up and down the other woman's body in a disturbingly familiar way. The couple made their way to the bed, and Hermione whirled around, trying wildly to wrench the door open. Of course, it didn't move in Harry's memory any more than it would have opened in real life. The sounds behind her were becoming more erratic, but she refused to look, instead curling up next to the door and sobbing, hands over her ears. But her hands couldn't block out the sounds coming from the bed. Nor could they block out the words that hurt more than anything she could have ever imagined: "I love you."
Thankfully, Harry – the real Harry – suddenly appeared beside her, looking down at her sadly. Without a word, he pulled her with him out of the Pensieve.
~*~*
She had tried over the years to come to terms with what she had seen, what she had heard. She found it simple, really, to accept that he could have had a physical relationship with another woman so soon after they had parted. She was adult enough, even then, to understand that sex did not always equate to love. The idea of him with someone else, physically, didn't hurt her as much as the three words she had heard in the Pensieve. I love you. Try as she might, she just couldn't see how he could have fallen in love again so quickly. Which left only two options: he wasn't actually in love with Tonks, or he had never actually been in love with Hermione.
And, all of a sudden, she had to know. She needed to know. Remus and Susan were right – she needed to talk to him. With that now settled in her mind she was able to turn her complete attention back to the stage, where the brewing demonstration had just concluded.
After the brewing demonstration, the question and answer session began. Remus made his way to the stage to join Severus, slightly nervous. To his surprise, Severus gave him a quick wink of encouragement before he turned to face the audience.
The questions came fast and furious, the attendees bombarding them with requests to answer everything from how the potion tasted (horrible) to how Remus felt now (wonderful). More questions concerning the brewing process were put forward, and Severus was forced to admit the one major weakness to his potion – it had to be administered within 24 hours of brewing, or it would no longer be effective.
When Severus was explaining this, Remus noticed Hestia nudge Hermione excitedly. The two witches whispered together for a moment and seemed to come to some satisfactory conclusion, both settling back in their chairs and listening intently to the next question. Hestia was smiling, and Remus was momentarily caught by her gaze. How had I never noticed her eyes before? As if hearing his thought, Hestia gave him a slow wink. He answered with an unhurried smile. Maybe the rest of this Potions Conference wouldn't be as boring as he'd anticipated.
~~~~
Finally, the presentation ended, and Severus stepped down from the stage only to be accosted by several Ministry employees. Severus attempted to keep an interested look on his face while Cornelius Fudge blathered on about how well the presentation had gone. In truth, he was only half listening to the Minister's words, his eyes unconsciously scanning the crowd for one particular face. Eventually, something the Minister said got his attention, "Let's see, where is she now? Ah, yes, there – Mrs. Krum! Your assistance, please!" The Minister waved energetically, almost hitting Remus in the head. Remus just rolled his eyes at Severus over the Minister's shoulder and moved back a step.
Hermione and Hestia fought their way through the crowd to join them. "Yes, Mr. Fudge. What can I help you with?" Hermione directed at Fudge respectfully.
Fudge had a large smile on his face. "Mrs. Krum, some of your colleagues-" he began with a wave behind him. Justin dodged his hand, giving Hermione a grin –"have been telling me of that new potion you've developed – the Man-man-"
Hermione interrupted the Minister-"The Manere potion, yes. Miss Jones and I were just discussing its possible application to the lycanthropy cure. Unfortunately, it is still in the research phase and it would take some time to adjust its properties to react favorably to the lycanthropy potion." Hermione studiously avoided Severus' gaze, instead fixing her eyes on the Minister.
Severus, on the other hand, did not take his eyes off of Hermione. She's matured, he thought, noticing the confident tilt to her head and her even voice. She had always been far more mature than others her age –he could never have fallen in love with her otherwise -but now that maturity was combined with a woman's poise and sel-assuredness that drew him in despite himself.
Fudge nodded knowingly. Severus almost snorted out loud. As if that fool has any clue what Miss Gran – Mrs. Krum is speaking about.
Fudge leaned in, beckoning the others to follow his lead. Severus refused to look like some foolish Muggle rugby player, so he remained upright- though he did move in closer, curious. "Listen, folks – the lycanthropy cure is the most important breakthrough that's been made in Potions during my administration. From what I've been told, with the long brewing time and short window available to administer the potion we're going to have a hard time inoculating all the known werewolves. I need you-" he said, indicating Hermione"-to work with him-" this time pointing at Severus "-to get that shelf life increased. You people-" he now indicated the other members of the Ministry Potions Department "-will have to do without Mrs. Krum for as long as required to get this potion working."
Does that mean what I think it means? Severus thought wildly, his eyes darting to Hermione's face to see if she understood the implications.
She appeared to be confused, "I'm sorry, Minister, but I'm not quite following you – why will they need to do without me? I'll be working on the Manere adjustments in the Ministry labs, if they need me for something…"
The Minister shook his head. "No, no, that won't work at all. I want the two best Potions minds in Europe working together on this. In case you miss my meaning, that would be you and Severus- or so I've been told. I'm just glad you're both under my jurisdiction."
Hermione looked as if she were frozen in place, still avoiding Severus' gaze.
"And I believe the Hogwarts labs are much better equipped for what you'll be doing. Justin here assures me that we haven't the facilities at the Ministry lab-" the Minister turned to Justin, indicating with a gesture for him to finish.
Justin nodded, "The Manere potion is portable - the equipment required is common to any Potions lab. On the other hand, the analysis of the target potion would be impossible in the Ministry labs. From what you said today, the lycanthropy potion requires a great deal of Muggle scientific equipment, which is housed at Hogwarts, correct?"
Severus nodded. "That is correct, Mr. Finch-Fletchley."
Fudge beamed. "Wonderful, then it's settled. You two make the arrangements – I expect you to begin immediately after the conference. Thank Merlin it's the summer break right now – no students to get in your way, eh, Severus? And, Hermione – I don't want to see you back at the Ministry unless you're giving me good news." Fudge had a satisfied smile on his face. "Now, I do believe it's time for lunch. You'll excuse me, please." With that, Fudge went in search of the French Minister.
Hermione was now looking at Severus with an unreadable expression. Taking a deep breath, he kept his voice smooth and asked, "Would you like to accompany me to dinner tonight to discuss our… arrangements, Mrs. Krum?"
She nodded, and answered just as smoothly, "That's a wonderful idea, Professor Snape. Meet me in front of the lecture hall at – say – six o'clock? That will give us time to make our…arrangements… as well as get some dinner." He nodded sharply. Her eyes flicked over his shoulder, and she grinned. "Oops. Someone once told me that fame is a burden… I think you're about to find that out firsthand, Professor Snape." With that confusing comment, she turned and left the hall.
Glancing behind him, he realized her meaning quickly. Dear Merlin – I'll never get out of here! There was a line forming, filled with people who wanted to ask him more questions about the lycanthropy cure. Searching for Remus, he realized he'd been abandoned. With a scowl, he motioned the first person in line to ask their question. At least there was tonight to look forward to.
* * * * * *
Severus was waiting in front of the lecture hall when Hermione arrived. Still punctual, I see, she thought with a grin. The grin faltered for a moment when he walked to meet her. He still moves like a panther, she realized, her mouth going dry. She had always loved the way his body flowed, every move smooth and calculated.
Shaking the inappropriate thoughts from her mind, she smiled up at him, "Hello. Do you have any suggestions where we should go?"
He smiled back at her, his eyes glinting in amusement. "Well, I was actually thinking of visiting Muggle Paris – would that be satisfactory, Mrs. Krum?"
She was shocked. "Muggle Paris?" Laughing, she continued, "Professor Snape, I have to admit that sounds wonderful – but very surprising. Since when have you enjoyed venturing into the Muggle world?" He just smiled at her. Shaking her head, she commented, "It seems like some things have changed."
He gave her a penetrating look. "Some things, yes… but not everything." She didn't know how to respond. Their eyes were locked together and there seemed to be something he was trying to convey... her breath stopped. The tension was broken when he cleared his throat and, with a raised eyebrow, said, "Perhaps we should Transfigure our robes into something more appropriate?"
She agreed, grateful for the distraction, quickly Transfiguring her robes into a casual burgundy dress. Eyeing Severus' newly Transfigured outfit, she thought, Well, that's one thing that hasn't changed. It appears he still prefers black. He now wore a black mock turtleneck and black trousers. She had to admit the color suited him.
Taking the arm he offered, she tried to ignore the warm spark she felt at his touch as they set out for Muggle Paris.
~~~~~
Severus was confused. The woman sitting across the table from him was laughing at something he had just said, and it was taking all of his willpower to not reach across the table and capture those lips with his.
Not for the first time that evening, Severus sternly told himself, She's married. She's moved on. He repeated it to himself like a mantra, hoping to quell the longing he felt. But, at the same time, he was confused by the way she smiled at him, the way she looked at him… it seemed almost as if she still felt something for him. Every now and then, a pained look came to her eyes and her conversation would falter for a moment before she recovered herself. He assumed she was thinking of her husband.
It was such a relief to once again speak to her. She had an amazing sense of humor in addition to being brilliant, and he was pleased to note that her enthusiasm hadn't been at all diminished by the years. It felt… right… to talk to her. The only thing that would feel more right would be to take her in his arms, to…
But no. That would be wrong. Fate had conspired against him, once again. She had married Krum just two months before the Final Battle – he could still remember the pictures of the famous couple on the cover of the Daily Prophet. If she had only waited two more months, they would have been free to be together, it would have been safe. But he had told her not to wait for him, and she hadn't. He was a fool.
She would never know the sacrifices that he had made to keep her safe during those years – the sacrifices others had made. He would be forever in Nymphadora's debt – she had quite literally saved his life and, more importantly to Severus, Hermione's life. Although Hermione would never, could never know. He didn't think he could face her if she knew what he and Tonks had done, even if it had been purely to protect Hermione and himself from Voldemort and his followers.
With a start, he realized he had been silent all this time, staring at Hermione thoughtfully. She was looking back at him, flushing slightly. "I think we're done here – are you ready?" She nodded. He settled the bill, and they left the restaurant.
They both walked slowly, not wanting the evening to end. Suddenly, she stopped and put a hand on his arm. "Severus? I think… I think we need to talk."
"Yes, Hermione?" he turned to look at her.
"What happened to 'Mrs. Krum'?" she asked teasingly.
"What did you want to talk about, Hermione?" he snapped. She stared at him incredulously, and he blew out an irritated breath. "If you really must know, I can't stand to call you by… that name. I don't even like to think of you having that last name. Does that satisfy you?"
Hermione's face began to darken. "Severus, you were the one who insisted I not wait for you, that I move on. How do you think I felt when the Last Battle came barely two months after I married Viktor?"
He didn't answer, just stared over her shoulder, a muscle in his jaw twitching.
She continued, "How do you think I felt when I heard, from Harry, how you had 'moved on' yourself not even a month after I left?" Her voice rose at the end, and a few people on the sidewalk paused to stare for a moment before moving on. Severus tried to interrupt her, but she drove on, gasping, "At least he waited… he didn't want to hurt me. He didn't tell me about it until I came to him one night, crying because I felt guilty – guilty- about being with Viktor…"
She began pacing on the sidewalk. "I knew Viktor was going to propose soon, and I had my little speech all ready, about how I cared for him but I couldn't let go of my love for you. I was determined to wait for you. And then I found out that all I would ever have of you, of us, was a memory. A fucking memory!" She took a deep breath, and whispered, "So I agreed. I married Viktor. You had moved on, and so did I." Tears were running down her face freely.
Severus was stunned, trying to digest what she had just said. One thing was quite clear, however. Potter. "You say Potter told you? Damn that impudent child! He knew nothing about it!"
"Oh, he knew enough, Severus! He saw the two of you. He had the habit of wandering with his Invisibility Cloak when he wanted to think," she said, eyes flashing. "He saw you, and he heard you when you told Tonks that you loved her. Not even a month after I was gone, and you were in love with someone else, Severus? How can that be possible?"
Severus gripped her arms urgently. "It's not what you think. Harry didn't know what he was seeing…"
Hermione wrenched herself away. "Do you think I'm stupid? Or gullible? I didn't believe it at first – and then he put the memory in a Pensieve. I looked into it. I wish I hadn't." She choked back a sob. "Harry wasn't the only one to see it, he wasn't the only one to hear what you said."
Severus wanted to tear his hair out in frustration. Suddenly, he realized they were making quite a spectacle. Cursing, he took her arm and led her farther down the street until he saw a small grassy area with a bench. "Sit." She looked rebellious for a moment, and he repeated, "Sit." With a scowl, she complied, not looking at him.
"Now, I'm going to tell you something. I need you to listen, no interruptions. Do you understand?" Severus grabbed her chin and turned her eyes to meet his. "Do you understand?" She nodded slightly, and he took a deep breath, staring unseeing at the cars moving on the street. A light rain had begun to fall, the mist glistening on his black hair.
"You knew about Voldemort's plan. What you don't know is that someone – I'm not sure who – told Voldemort about our relationship." Severus looked at Hermione at this, seeing her horrified look. He nodded gravely. "They didn't tell him who – they must not have known, because that information would have been well rewarded- but they told him there was someone. Luckily, I got word before being Summoned, to prepare."
He shuddered faintly, and continued, "I met with the Order, those members that were available, that is. There weren't many options. Voldemort would, without a doubt, use his powers of Legilimency to discover the identity of the woman – using the images in my mind."
"But you're a master of Occlumency!"
He frowned at the interruption, and Hermione subsided. "Think, Hermione. Voldemort could never know about my skills in Occlumency. If he realized I was able to keep the identity of my… partner… from him, he would know I was capable of keeping other secrets from him. And trust me, Hermione; he would have no trouble getting to those secrets if he knew they were there. There are methods other than Legilimency to consider. I would never have betrayed the Order, would never have betrayed you, but it would have meant my death. My immediate, painful death." She nodded in understanding, shivering. The rain was coming down more steadily, but neither noticed.
"It was Nymphadora Tonks who came up with the solution. She suggested that I tell the Dark Lord that yes, I had been in love with someone, but that it was over – the woman had left me and I had received an owl notifying me of her death. She even had a plan to create the necessary images to back up the story – because Voldemort would, without a doubt, inspect my mind to ascertain the truth." Severus took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "You know that she's a Metamorphmagus, correct? She changed her appearance, and…"
Hermione's eyes grew wide. "You mean…"
Severus nodded, looking into her eyes. "It was all a stage, Hermione. An act. To give me the memories necessary to satisfy Voldemort's probing. Dumbledore even played a part – he was the one who came to me and handed me the notice of 'Eloise's' death."
"I hated to do it, and I don't think Tonks was all that thrilled, either, but we did what we had to. For the Order. For you. I loved you, Hermione." He closed his eyes.
"I still do."
Hermione couldn't believe her ears. She would never have married Viktor, no matter how much she cared for him, if she had known this. Damn Harry! Damn him! She didn't know what to say. Looking at Severus, his hair matted from the rain, she did the only thing she could think to do.
Grabbing his hands, she pulled him onto the bench next to her, wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back and then pulled away slightly, looking deeply into her eyes. Her eyes fluttered closed, and he leaned in slowly.
In Paris, in the rain - their lips met for the first time in seven years.
________________________________________________________________________
Author's Notes:
I know this was a long chapter, but I took pity on poor Hermione – I couldn't leave her (or you guys) in suspense another chapter. I hope you liked the Tonks explanation!
Thanks to everyone for the reviews! Some individual responses:
Michelline – Aren't you glad I took pity on you guys? LOL! I was originally going to split this into two chapters, but I couldn't find a good spot in the middle to split it. I'm glad you're enjoying it! More surprises to come…
Faris-Eirin – Thanks! I'm glad you like the different points of view… I'm having a lot of fun writing both points of view.
Electryone – Was your guess correct?
Lacewing – Heehee! I like that – it's exploration, not laziness :)
HPGirl55 – More interaction to come… also how does she deal with the Viktor element? Hmmm.
DragonRose – I hope this chapter made Hermione's potion more clear for you – it's a potion that, when added to a "target potion" acts as a preservative. There will be more details upcoming, as she and Severus work on adjusting it for the lycanthropy cure.