A/N: I'm going to apologize right now if this offends anyone. It's supposed to be satyrical, but I might have taken it too far. Just because I wrote it doesn't mean I believe it.
This has nothing to with whatever's going on in Of Parodies and Premonitions, by the way.
Lily's life was a wreck. No one else could possibly understand her pain. She was a truly tortured soul, as anyone who looked at her could see.
She always wore black, and smothered her gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, captivating, bright, striking, one-of-a-kind, shining, emerald green eyes with liberal amounts of black eyeliner. She only did that when she was sobbing too intensely to put in her black and hot pink striped contacts. Her second most beautiful feature, apart from her eyes, was her luxurious auburn hair, but that too, she kept secret by dying it black every morning, too keep the depressing hue unfaded. Her porn-star-esque body was disguised with baggy sk8er clothes from Hot Topic, where she purchased overpriced merchandise so that its CEO could finally convince the Gap, Inc. to buy his company out.
The truth was, Lily Evans was beautiful, but she had to strive so desperately to hide that fact to be taken seriously as a sad person, because we all know that pretty people are always happy.
Right now she was slicing her wrists with her hot pink razor blade. She didn't really know why she was doing it, but she had seen a segment on television over the summer on this new fad called "cutting." She hadn't really paid attention to it, but the teenagers they were showcasing looked like they had problems, and Lily was pretty convinced that she was a dIsTuRbEd BiTcH, whatever that meant, so she figured she might as well do it too.
As it turned out, it was a great way to make her cry in between classes--so much better than that onion she'd be fooling around with before.
Not that she needed any sort of catalyst to make her cry, of course. I mean, her life SUCKED!
Over the past summer, Lily's uber-responsible parents had jetted off to go on some vacation and had invited her to come alone. Lily Evans was not the sort of loser who went on vacations with her parents since she was a punk/goth/raver/mental patient. It's not Lily parents would have made her go or made sensible arrangements for her, so they dumped her with her older sister and her new husband.
Petunia, Lily's sister had made it very well known that she wouldn't let Lily into her house, but Vernon was in one of his characteristic pedofile moods, so he allowed her to live in the cupboard under the stairs for the remainder of the summer holidays. The newlyweds made the tragic witch work like a slave for them, making her do the same tasks that her son would carry out twenty years later. Except Lily unfortunately got raped a few times, which wasn't as bad as it seems since it did wonders for her image.
Somehow Lily made it back to Hogwarts, her favorite place on earth, even though she was either largely ignored for not being like everyone else or taunted mercilessly for being sad. The Marauders were her biggest antagonizes, always cracking jokes at her expense. Lily had been using thier last encounter to destroy any good feelings that chanced upon her mind.
"I hate fucking preppy-ass bitches. I hate fucking preppy-ass bitches. I hate..." Lily had been chanting the same sentence thought her entire trek from the Charms classroom to the Great Hall. Today had been a pretty uneventful day, otherwise she would have been chanting something that mentioned specific names.
Seeing that no one had noticed her angry state, as usual, she gave up the chant and opted to listen to some of her music. She was all about her music, even if her music wasn't all about her. There was nothing like listening to Marilyn Manson be alternative, though she had no clue what he was talking about. Today she was listening to a mix of emotional punk rock. Man, she totally connected with these lyrics. She wished she had an ex-boyfriend to sing about. She started singing aloud, causing a few of her neighboring diners to exit the great hall.
She was so involved that she didn't notice James Potter and all of his friends take the recently abandoned seats near Lily. James had brought his current flavor of the week along with him and they were making out and stuff. James was trying to push the fact that if he kept going through girlfriends this quickly, he'd have to start dating the first years in a few months, plus he'd probably be carrying a few STDs by then.
After a few more minutes of shameless expositionism, which none of the teachers bothered to correct, James was getting bored with kissing and his stomach was begging to be filled. He need to find a way to get the girl off of him, and do it nicely enough so that she'd still meet him in an abandoned classroom after curfew. Just then a harsh voice without a trace of melody flowed to his ears.
"I really hate you now,
Bastard, you dumped me,
Now I live in misery,
I want to hack your brains
From your head
You dumped me and now you're dead."
The singer stopped long enough to bare her teeth and hiss at the girl on top of him, which successfully drove the girl back to her house table. James looked up to discover who the voice belonged to. He made a face when he saw it was Lily Evans. He hated girls like her. She made it so obvious that she wasn't interested in boys. He'd think she was a lesbian if it wasn't for the fact that she called every girl "an anorexic bitch" or a "fucking whore." He really wished she would just put out like every girl at Hogwarts. It'd be so much easier for him to stage his little trysts in-house, and she would add to his number of easily-accessible prospects.
"Hey Evans, you're stupid." He smirked, knowing he had her there.
Lily bit her lip. She wouldn't let them see her cry. If she cried, they'd just laugh and her mascara would run, and that only looks cool with her bondage pants. She never wore her school robes since they weren't sad enough. She racked her brain for the best possible come-back. "I know you are, but what I am I?"
"Sad." The four boys said all at once. "Jinx!" they all shouted and a fit of giggles ensued for everyone at the table except for Lily who was already on her way to her dorm, chanting "Potter and his friends will meet and unfortunate end" the entire way.
This memory sent Lily into a fresh reel of tears. How could it not? It was just so sad. Sadly, she couldn't dwell on it any more because she had to go to her next class. She walked down the staircase into the common room where she creepily stared down anyone who dared look at her. Honestly, you'd think these people had never seen a sad person before. Hadn't they picked up any teen magazines lately? It was only the coolest possible thing. She continued walked as she scanned to room for any "nosy fucking bitches" as Lily deemed them. This was a bad idea, since it caused her to run into James Potter. She'd dwell on the woefulness of this situation in her room later.
"Fuck off, Potter," she greeted.
"Gladly, Evans. I'm booked for tonight, but I've got a few minutes now, if you're so inclined." James had used his invisibility cloak this morning to spy on Lily when she was changing, before she'd masked her face in cheap, generic cosmetics. In the time it took for his blood to rush to his nether regions he realized that Lily Evans was one hot bitch. He so wanted to be her smooth pimp. There had to be a market for the whole gothic/punk/raver/mental patient fetish.
Lily shot him a mean look. For lack of a better thing to say, he asked, "Why do you hate me so much Evans?"
"Are you that stupid?" she asked.
"No, I guess I know the answer to that, but why am I on the top of your hit list?"
"I don't have a hit list. That's so seven years ago. Ew," she added as if remembering any past trends left a repulsive taste in her mouth.
"You have some sort of list, though. I saw you writing in it one day during History of Magic. I remember because you were writing it in your blood."
"D'you mean my hataz list?"
"If that's what you call it," he said dismissively. "I'm number one on that, aren't I?"
"No, you're not number one on my hataz list," Lily said.
"Oh really?" James smirked. "Then who is?"
"My brother-in-law, Vernon." James raised his eyebrow. "He raped me a few times and then wouldn't give me any money to buy the new Good Charlotte CD."
James somehow understood what she was talking about even though CDs and Good Charlotte weren't in existence yet, and even if they were he wouldn't have heard of them. "What?!?!" he exclaimed, outraged. "I wanted to be the one to pop your cherry, Evans!"
Lily didn't know what "popping her cherry" meant, but she didn't like the sound of it. After all, weren't cherries happy fruit? She was more of a dried pear kind of girl anyway.
She didn't have time to ask him what he meant though, since he somehow ran off to her house and somehow knew where it was and how to get there. She went the same way he did and in some unspecified amount of time, they were both facing down a very large man. Lily got bored of looking at Vernon after a few seconds, after all, it wasn't like she'd never seen him before, so she went to her cupboard and blasted her stereo and ROCKED OUT!!!!!!!
Though the idea of following Lily within two feet of a bed was sorely tempting, James had to try and salvage the morals of this story. He leaped on Vernon and schooled him. He got bored after hearing the huge man wince from all of his totally harsh, but totally justified smacks. He stopped and propped Vernon on the catch, preparing him to endure some hardcore laceration.
"HOW DARE YOU RUIN LILY'S CHANCES OF LETTING ME BE HER FIRST?"
Vernon made a face. "Trust me boy, I can't have been the first. A girl like that doesn't go untouched for long."
James gawked at the massive lump of tweed before him. Lily had been putting out for months, and no one told him? He needed to straighten things out with Lily. He stormed into her "room" and shouted over the music to her.
"What have you been on about, Evans? I came all the way to your house when we're supposed to be in Charms and find out that you've lied to me!"
"Wait, James, what are you talking about? I didn't lie. I'm not a preppy-ass bitch."
"You told me he raped you!" he nearly screamed.
"Yeah, he did."
"He said that he wasn't the first one to shag you."
"What are you talking about, he did no such thing." Lily's face meant from flustered to bamboozled, but remembering that bamboozlement is not an emotion experienced by punk/goth/raver/mental patients, changed it to her normal angry scowl.
"You told me he raped you," he repeated slowly.
"I know that, but how do you gather that the two of us," she blushed, "had, you know," she lowered her voice barely above a whisper, "intercourse?" It was a good thing Lily's hair was black or else it would have clashed horribly with her drastically reddened face.
He stared at her blankly for a few moments. He had just pummeled some stranger three times his size for some moronic girl with really bad taste in fashion. He let out an angst-ridden groan.
"Oh no, he didn't rape you, too did he?" James widened his eyes.
"What do you mean 'rape?'" he asked nervously.
A scary-looking smirk popped up on Lily's heavily made-up face. "You know, Potter, for all of your bragging, you're not as smart as you've gotten everyone to think. I thought everyone knew what rape meant."
"So had I..." he trailed off, knotting his eyebrows. "But apparently we have different definitions. What do you think it means?"
"I know," she offered him a patronizing look, "what it means."
"Do tell us, then. I believe I've been horribly misled."
She rolled her eyes. How could he not understand what rape was. Maybe it was because he was a male. "Being raped is the same as being kicked in the head."
James strained his head for the rest of that analogy, but there was nothing else for him to hear. That was her definition.
"Are you being figurative?"
"How daft are you? Rape, as in 'I was raped and my head hurt for days.'" James personally thought that statement could support either definition, but he chose to keep his mouth shut. It was hopeless. "What do you think it means?" She looked at him expectantly.
For once James was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth a few times soundlessly, before finally managing, "You wouldn't happen to have a dictionary here would you?" He walked out into the living room, Lily following closely behind.
"I don't know for sure since I don't really live here, but I reckon there's one over on the shelf." James went over to expect and amazingly found a a two volume set of dictionaries. He opened the substantially dusty volume marked "Mo-Z" and found the disputed word. He handed the book to Lily, who read the entry as a new blush crept up her neck.
"I see," she said, her embarrassment evident. "Well I think it's time we got back before those fucking authority druggies notice we're gone."
"If you're talking about the professors, they won't."
"How the fuck do you know?" Lily was trying to cover up her embarrassment by using curse words, apparently.
"Let's think a minute, shall we? You've been walking around like a suicidal maniac for however long and they haven't even asked if you're alright. I've been sending a number of the female population to Madame Pomfrey with all the symptoms of syphilis. The teachers haven't even thought to give any of us detentions for being out after curfew."
"I'm going to take the dye out of my hair." Lily was fingering her wand and looking in the mirror.
"Why don't you wait until we're back at Hogwarts?" James didn't really want her to though, the faster her hair turned back to auburn the hotter she would be and the more likely they'd be able to shag in her sister's nearly-empty house.
"Fuck, no. Then those fucking preppy ass bitches might fucking annoy me." She muttered the incantation, but due to force of habit, accidently inserted a swear word in the middle. There was a great burst of light and the air became that of a sleazy night club. James was too distracted by the smell of burning hair that filled his nostrils to look at Lily right away, not that he could have gotten a good image of her with all of the smoke in the room.
When he looked up at Lily, he had to blink a few times to be sure his vision was working correctly.
Seeing his shocked face she laughed and said, "Yeah I was getting kind of bored of the whole punk/goth/raver/mental patient thing. This is a nice change, don't you think?"
Finding his voice, James stammered, "Uh, Lily, you, er look like, well, er..."
"Yes?" she asked fluttering her eyelashes and smiling and the young pale man before her.
"A skinhead." He could not get used to the fact that this deeply disturbed girl he went to school with had just eliminated all of the hair from her head. She didn't even have a nicely shaped head; there were a few lumps that were probably the result of Vernon's "raping" and it was deathly pale. He needed to get away from this girl as soon as possible, or risk losing the contents of his stomach.
"I know. Don't you like it?"
A/N: Believe me when I say that that is the most repulsive thing I have ever written. I meant for it to be light and sarcastic, but it turned out just being creepy. Review, if the mood so strikes you. I'm expecting a few flames on this, but oh well.
And about all the mechanical errors....sorry, but I can't use word and the thing I'm on right now doesn't have spellcheck or anything. I just really wanted to post something as soon as I could. I'll go over and fix the mistakes later this week hopefully, but don't really hold me to a date.
This has nothing to with whatever's going on in Of Parodies and Premonitions, by the way.
Lily's life was a wreck. No one else could possibly understand her pain. She was a truly tortured soul, as anyone who looked at her could see.
She always wore black, and smothered her gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, captivating, bright, striking, one-of-a-kind, shining, emerald green eyes with liberal amounts of black eyeliner. She only did that when she was sobbing too intensely to put in her black and hot pink striped contacts. Her second most beautiful feature, apart from her eyes, was her luxurious auburn hair, but that too, she kept secret by dying it black every morning, too keep the depressing hue unfaded. Her porn-star-esque body was disguised with baggy sk8er clothes from Hot Topic, where she purchased overpriced merchandise so that its CEO could finally convince the Gap, Inc. to buy his company out.
The truth was, Lily Evans was beautiful, but she had to strive so desperately to hide that fact to be taken seriously as a sad person, because we all know that pretty people are always happy.
Right now she was slicing her wrists with her hot pink razor blade. She didn't really know why she was doing it, but she had seen a segment on television over the summer on this new fad called "cutting." She hadn't really paid attention to it, but the teenagers they were showcasing looked like they had problems, and Lily was pretty convinced that she was a dIsTuRbEd BiTcH, whatever that meant, so she figured she might as well do it too.
As it turned out, it was a great way to make her cry in between classes--so much better than that onion she'd be fooling around with before.
Not that she needed any sort of catalyst to make her cry, of course. I mean, her life SUCKED!
Over the past summer, Lily's uber-responsible parents had jetted off to go on some vacation and had invited her to come alone. Lily Evans was not the sort of loser who went on vacations with her parents since she was a punk/goth/raver/mental patient. It's not Lily parents would have made her go or made sensible arrangements for her, so they dumped her with her older sister and her new husband.
Petunia, Lily's sister had made it very well known that she wouldn't let Lily into her house, but Vernon was in one of his characteristic pedofile moods, so he allowed her to live in the cupboard under the stairs for the remainder of the summer holidays. The newlyweds made the tragic witch work like a slave for them, making her do the same tasks that her son would carry out twenty years later. Except Lily unfortunately got raped a few times, which wasn't as bad as it seems since it did wonders for her image.
Somehow Lily made it back to Hogwarts, her favorite place on earth, even though she was either largely ignored for not being like everyone else or taunted mercilessly for being sad. The Marauders were her biggest antagonizes, always cracking jokes at her expense. Lily had been using thier last encounter to destroy any good feelings that chanced upon her mind.
"I hate fucking preppy-ass bitches. I hate fucking preppy-ass bitches. I hate..." Lily had been chanting the same sentence thought her entire trek from the Charms classroom to the Great Hall. Today had been a pretty uneventful day, otherwise she would have been chanting something that mentioned specific names.
Seeing that no one had noticed her angry state, as usual, she gave up the chant and opted to listen to some of her music. She was all about her music, even if her music wasn't all about her. There was nothing like listening to Marilyn Manson be alternative, though she had no clue what he was talking about. Today she was listening to a mix of emotional punk rock. Man, she totally connected with these lyrics. She wished she had an ex-boyfriend to sing about. She started singing aloud, causing a few of her neighboring diners to exit the great hall.
She was so involved that she didn't notice James Potter and all of his friends take the recently abandoned seats near Lily. James had brought his current flavor of the week along with him and they were making out and stuff. James was trying to push the fact that if he kept going through girlfriends this quickly, he'd have to start dating the first years in a few months, plus he'd probably be carrying a few STDs by then.
After a few more minutes of shameless expositionism, which none of the teachers bothered to correct, James was getting bored with kissing and his stomach was begging to be filled. He need to find a way to get the girl off of him, and do it nicely enough so that she'd still meet him in an abandoned classroom after curfew. Just then a harsh voice without a trace of melody flowed to his ears.
"I really hate you now,
Bastard, you dumped me,
Now I live in misery,
I want to hack your brains
From your head
You dumped me and now you're dead."
The singer stopped long enough to bare her teeth and hiss at the girl on top of him, which successfully drove the girl back to her house table. James looked up to discover who the voice belonged to. He made a face when he saw it was Lily Evans. He hated girls like her. She made it so obvious that she wasn't interested in boys. He'd think she was a lesbian if it wasn't for the fact that she called every girl "an anorexic bitch" or a "fucking whore." He really wished she would just put out like every girl at Hogwarts. It'd be so much easier for him to stage his little trysts in-house, and she would add to his number of easily-accessible prospects.
"Hey Evans, you're stupid." He smirked, knowing he had her there.
Lily bit her lip. She wouldn't let them see her cry. If she cried, they'd just laugh and her mascara would run, and that only looks cool with her bondage pants. She never wore her school robes since they weren't sad enough. She racked her brain for the best possible come-back. "I know you are, but what I am I?"
"Sad." The four boys said all at once. "Jinx!" they all shouted and a fit of giggles ensued for everyone at the table except for Lily who was already on her way to her dorm, chanting "Potter and his friends will meet and unfortunate end" the entire way.
This memory sent Lily into a fresh reel of tears. How could it not? It was just so sad. Sadly, she couldn't dwell on it any more because she had to go to her next class. She walked down the staircase into the common room where she creepily stared down anyone who dared look at her. Honestly, you'd think these people had never seen a sad person before. Hadn't they picked up any teen magazines lately? It was only the coolest possible thing. She continued walked as she scanned to room for any "nosy fucking bitches" as Lily deemed them. This was a bad idea, since it caused her to run into James Potter. She'd dwell on the woefulness of this situation in her room later.
"Fuck off, Potter," she greeted.
"Gladly, Evans. I'm booked for tonight, but I've got a few minutes now, if you're so inclined." James had used his invisibility cloak this morning to spy on Lily when she was changing, before she'd masked her face in cheap, generic cosmetics. In the time it took for his blood to rush to his nether regions he realized that Lily Evans was one hot bitch. He so wanted to be her smooth pimp. There had to be a market for the whole gothic/punk/raver/mental patient fetish.
Lily shot him a mean look. For lack of a better thing to say, he asked, "Why do you hate me so much Evans?"
"Are you that stupid?" she asked.
"No, I guess I know the answer to that, but why am I on the top of your hit list?"
"I don't have a hit list. That's so seven years ago. Ew," she added as if remembering any past trends left a repulsive taste in her mouth.
"You have some sort of list, though. I saw you writing in it one day during History of Magic. I remember because you were writing it in your blood."
"D'you mean my hataz list?"
"If that's what you call it," he said dismissively. "I'm number one on that, aren't I?"
"No, you're not number one on my hataz list," Lily said.
"Oh really?" James smirked. "Then who is?"
"My brother-in-law, Vernon." James raised his eyebrow. "He raped me a few times and then wouldn't give me any money to buy the new Good Charlotte CD."
James somehow understood what she was talking about even though CDs and Good Charlotte weren't in existence yet, and even if they were he wouldn't have heard of them. "What?!?!" he exclaimed, outraged. "I wanted to be the one to pop your cherry, Evans!"
Lily didn't know what "popping her cherry" meant, but she didn't like the sound of it. After all, weren't cherries happy fruit? She was more of a dried pear kind of girl anyway.
She didn't have time to ask him what he meant though, since he somehow ran off to her house and somehow knew where it was and how to get there. She went the same way he did and in some unspecified amount of time, they were both facing down a very large man. Lily got bored of looking at Vernon after a few seconds, after all, it wasn't like she'd never seen him before, so she went to her cupboard and blasted her stereo and ROCKED OUT!!!!!!!
Though the idea of following Lily within two feet of a bed was sorely tempting, James had to try and salvage the morals of this story. He leaped on Vernon and schooled him. He got bored after hearing the huge man wince from all of his totally harsh, but totally justified smacks. He stopped and propped Vernon on the catch, preparing him to endure some hardcore laceration.
"HOW DARE YOU RUIN LILY'S CHANCES OF LETTING ME BE HER FIRST?"
Vernon made a face. "Trust me boy, I can't have been the first. A girl like that doesn't go untouched for long."
James gawked at the massive lump of tweed before him. Lily had been putting out for months, and no one told him? He needed to straighten things out with Lily. He stormed into her "room" and shouted over the music to her.
"What have you been on about, Evans? I came all the way to your house when we're supposed to be in Charms and find out that you've lied to me!"
"Wait, James, what are you talking about? I didn't lie. I'm not a preppy-ass bitch."
"You told me he raped you!" he nearly screamed.
"Yeah, he did."
"He said that he wasn't the first one to shag you."
"What are you talking about, he did no such thing." Lily's face meant from flustered to bamboozled, but remembering that bamboozlement is not an emotion experienced by punk/goth/raver/mental patients, changed it to her normal angry scowl.
"You told me he raped you," he repeated slowly.
"I know that, but how do you gather that the two of us," she blushed, "had, you know," she lowered her voice barely above a whisper, "intercourse?" It was a good thing Lily's hair was black or else it would have clashed horribly with her drastically reddened face.
He stared at her blankly for a few moments. He had just pummeled some stranger three times his size for some moronic girl with really bad taste in fashion. He let out an angst-ridden groan.
"Oh no, he didn't rape you, too did he?" James widened his eyes.
"What do you mean 'rape?'" he asked nervously.
A scary-looking smirk popped up on Lily's heavily made-up face. "You know, Potter, for all of your bragging, you're not as smart as you've gotten everyone to think. I thought everyone knew what rape meant."
"So had I..." he trailed off, knotting his eyebrows. "But apparently we have different definitions. What do you think it means?"
"I know," she offered him a patronizing look, "what it means."
"Do tell us, then. I believe I've been horribly misled."
She rolled her eyes. How could he not understand what rape was. Maybe it was because he was a male. "Being raped is the same as being kicked in the head."
James strained his head for the rest of that analogy, but there was nothing else for him to hear. That was her definition.
"Are you being figurative?"
"How daft are you? Rape, as in 'I was raped and my head hurt for days.'" James personally thought that statement could support either definition, but he chose to keep his mouth shut. It was hopeless. "What do you think it means?" She looked at him expectantly.
For once James was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth a few times soundlessly, before finally managing, "You wouldn't happen to have a dictionary here would you?" He walked out into the living room, Lily following closely behind.
"I don't know for sure since I don't really live here, but I reckon there's one over on the shelf." James went over to expect and amazingly found a a two volume set of dictionaries. He opened the substantially dusty volume marked "Mo-Z" and found the disputed word. He handed the book to Lily, who read the entry as a new blush crept up her neck.
"I see," she said, her embarrassment evident. "Well I think it's time we got back before those fucking authority druggies notice we're gone."
"If you're talking about the professors, they won't."
"How the fuck do you know?" Lily was trying to cover up her embarrassment by using curse words, apparently.
"Let's think a minute, shall we? You've been walking around like a suicidal maniac for however long and they haven't even asked if you're alright. I've been sending a number of the female population to Madame Pomfrey with all the symptoms of syphilis. The teachers haven't even thought to give any of us detentions for being out after curfew."
"I'm going to take the dye out of my hair." Lily was fingering her wand and looking in the mirror.
"Why don't you wait until we're back at Hogwarts?" James didn't really want her to though, the faster her hair turned back to auburn the hotter she would be and the more likely they'd be able to shag in her sister's nearly-empty house.
"Fuck, no. Then those fucking preppy ass bitches might fucking annoy me." She muttered the incantation, but due to force of habit, accidently inserted a swear word in the middle. There was a great burst of light and the air became that of a sleazy night club. James was too distracted by the smell of burning hair that filled his nostrils to look at Lily right away, not that he could have gotten a good image of her with all of the smoke in the room.
When he looked up at Lily, he had to blink a few times to be sure his vision was working correctly.
Seeing his shocked face she laughed and said, "Yeah I was getting kind of bored of the whole punk/goth/raver/mental patient thing. This is a nice change, don't you think?"
Finding his voice, James stammered, "Uh, Lily, you, er look like, well, er..."
"Yes?" she asked fluttering her eyelashes and smiling and the young pale man before her.
"A skinhead." He could not get used to the fact that this deeply disturbed girl he went to school with had just eliminated all of the hair from her head. She didn't even have a nicely shaped head; there were a few lumps that were probably the result of Vernon's "raping" and it was deathly pale. He needed to get away from this girl as soon as possible, or risk losing the contents of his stomach.
"I know. Don't you like it?"
A/N: Believe me when I say that that is the most repulsive thing I have ever written. I meant for it to be light and sarcastic, but it turned out just being creepy. Review, if the mood so strikes you. I'm expecting a few flames on this, but oh well.
And about all the mechanical errors....sorry, but I can't use word and the thing I'm on right now doesn't have spellcheck or anything. I just really wanted to post something as soon as I could. I'll go over and fix the mistakes later this week hopefully, but don't really hold me to a date.