Amaranth
By Aycelcus
Rating: R (for violence and sexual situations in later chapters)
Disclaimer: I do not own Inu Yasha, its characters or likenesses. I am borrowing them for just a little while. Also, I do not own the Landers and any related characters. They belong to my best friend. I do own Cillara, her likeness and all things that pertain to her character. AKA: Don't own, don't sue.
Author's Note: I will be at Dragon Con this weekend! Yaaaaay! Sugoi desu ne! And this year they have a dedicated anime track. Rock the casbah, baby. So… um… don't expect an update till sometime next week. It'll take me that long to recover from four days of bliss. But please, review! I only got one reviewer for the last two chapters. We were doing so well! Tell me if you like it, tell me if you hate it, threaten me with another Spatula of Death! And I will keep on updating! Deal? Deal!
Chapter Six: Entropy
It used to amaze Cillara, back when she was young and the worlds were new, how quickly you could become used to a place and time. Only a few days had passed from the time she had been resurrected yet she felt comfortable and secure in the rhythms of the fortress. Part of it, she was certain, had to do with the miko Kagome, who seemed utterly determined that Cillara should feel welcome despite the fact that it wasn't even Kagome's home. But she supposed that Sesshoumaru's extended family visited often, and the dynamics between them all were worn smooth with time.
Sesshoumaru and Inu Yasha had been gone for most of the visit; for Sesshoumaru as the Lord of the Western Lands (Cillara finally was told his title. She still preferred Fluffy, Lord of the Fortress of Solitude, though. And when she told Kagome that, the poor woman had fallen over laughing, her face gone red and tears streaming from her eyes,) had council duties that often took his time and presence away from the fortress. He and Inu Yasha were off meeting the Council of the youkai lords. Despite Inu Yasha's half-breed heritage, after the Naraku incident had had found himself a fringe member of the Council. It was his blood as the second son of the Taiyoukai that finally won him a coveted (by everyone but Inu Yasha) spot amongst the lords.
It was odd how the half-brothers managed in the warmth of the family unit and the pressures of the Council. From what Cillara understood, much of their relationship prior to Naraku's fall involved attempted fratricide. She learned from Kagome that one of their battles had led to the loss of Sesshoumaru's left arm.
She learned much from Kagome in those few days. They would talk as they walked through the gardens and sat in the solar to watch the children play. The two twins, named Shiroi and Kuroi, were little bundles of three-year-old hanyou energy as they ran and tried to keep up with Rin and Shippou. The four would wrestle and play hide-and-seek and invent countless other little games that were formless and changing in their rules.
Cillara basked in the environment, the friendliness and affection that laid over everything that the family did. Even Sesshoumaru would perk up and crack his shell when confronted by a tiny hand full of fireflies or a soft furry ear pressed against his side as one of the twins invariably snuggled into his lap at night when his attentions were turned. His face would not change, but she would see hand reach out to examine the proffered insect or his fingers start to stroke the baby's forehead. It was… sweet. It made her feel warm and sad at the same time. It reminded her of other toddler's hands, other figures snuggled close. It reminded her that life went on.
It was nearing twilight on the fifth day, the afternoon winding late and the amber sun slowly changing hues as it descended into pinks and oranges. Sesshoumaru and Inu Yasha had just arrived, and many joyous greetings were proclaimed by the children. Inu Yasha and Kagome managed to snatch a few private moments somewhere in between one twin jumping on Sesshoumaru and the other gleefully embracing his leg. Cillara watched with a small smile as Sesshoumaru looked at her with endless annoyance. But he was patient and gentle with them, and they settled down with little trouble.
They were still gathered out in the gardens, only a moment or two from walking inside to eat and rest and enjoy the evening. Cillara walked beside Sesshoumaru, finding herself happy to see him home. It was a nice, domestic kind of feeling, one she had not felt in a long time. So she strolled beside him, pausing once to pick up little Shiroi and swing him around as requested. Kuroi insisted on riding on Sesshoumaru's shoulders, and he indulged her for a moment. Kagome and Inu Yasha were leisurely strolling up the walk; Shippou and Rin were giggling and dancing beside them. Everything seemed perfect.
Until a sickening lurch took Cillara by surprise.
She knew the feeling that surged against her, the familiar tide of nausea and dizziness that always accompanied the opening of a gateway. Someone had just walked through a dimensional portal. Someone strong, like an avatar… or a god.
She didn't even realize that she had dropped to the ground until she felt a strong hand grip her. She heard nothing but blood roaring in her ears until she heard Sesshoumaru's voice.
She certainly did not hear her own voice as it cried out a mournful string of soft syllables.
But Sesshoumaru's touch and voice were akin to a cold wash against her, and she came to her senses curled up at his side, his arm embracing her. She could feel Kagome's hands on the bare skin of her wrist; feel the brush of power as it tentatively probed her for injuries.
A little light snapped on in her head, and habits old came rushing out of their hidey-holes. Cillara stood up, managing to brush away Kagome's inquiring touch and the children's plaintive queries. She almost managed to brush off Sesshoumaru, too, but his grip held firm in a manner that suggested he wasn't going to let go unless he got some answers. And perhaps even then he might not relinquish her.
"I'm fine, I'm okay; I was just a little dizzy." She muttered. Her hands were shaking. Kagome shook her head.
"You are as white as a ghost."
Cillara felt like a ghost. "I'm alright, I'm alright. I probably just need to sit down."
She could feel a dragon in the pit of her stomach, a cold fear with fluttery leather wings and a malignant smile. She knew that whomever had crossed over into Sesshoumaru's world would not be friendly. She only prayed to her long-dead goddess that… She couldn't even think about the possibility. She had to get away, lead it away from those she had come to care about. And she was weak enough that just running off wouldn't be feasible. Sesshoumaru and Inu Yasha both could catch her in a breath. Even the little hanyou twins could outrun her if they chose. She would have to sneak away with the fall of night.
All these thought were zooming double-time through her mind. She looked up to speak again, but was cut off. Sesshoumaru's face suddenly dominated her field of view.
"You are not all right."
And then, without ceremony, he picked her up. Once again she found herself helpless, thrown over his shoulder and surrounded by his soft tail.
"We shall go inside, and you shall tell this Sesshoumaru the truth of what is wrong."
Cillara buried her face in his tail as the dragon stirred.
Sesshoumaru did not feel fear. He told himself every day, and so far it had rung true. But when Cillara had collapsed into herself without warning or cause, he felt a prick of fear stab him. She had gone so pale. He had expected her to faint at his feet when she shakily picked herself up.
She had lied. He knew that whatever had caused her to collapse was very, very bad. He knew that she was afraid. He could smell her fear thick on the breeze. He could feel his own response, a deep and rumbling anger directed outward toward whatever had caused her fear. And some part of him was angry with her, angry for the secrets she held so dear. He had little doubt that one of those secrets had come to rear its ugly head.
She had little reason to trust him, he knew. Only a few short days had engendered their acquaintance, and despite the idea that every action he took was caused by a spell, he realized that he needed her to trust him. If not for his sake, then for hers.
Without having to be asked, Kagome ushered his brother and the children towards the kitchen as he made his way back to the solar. It was familiar territory, and he hoped that it would perhaps help to lessen Cillara's fear. There in the confines of the small, glassed-in room her fear stunk sharply.
He set her down gently on a duvet, and stood for a moment to see if she would speak first.
Surprisingly, she did.
"I can't forget." Tears were at her eyes. "I can't forget, and I cannot stay."
He waited, still in the gathering darkness. She looked up at him.
"I want to forget so badly! I don't want to remember such terrible things! I don't want to be so afraid!"
He surprised himself then.
"I don't want you to go away."
Her face was unreadable for a long moment. Then she reached up and cupped the side of his face.
"I wish I could explain everything to you. I wish that I could forget and have everything just like it has been. I wish…"
She hugged him then, her free arm snaking around his waist and her forehead pressing against his chest.
He couldn't breathe. He was surrounded in feathers, encased by something sweet and indefinable. He crushed her to him then, a field of purple and down.
Her face came up then, so very close to him. He could hear her say something in that lyrical language of hers.
"Help me forget," she whispered then, and brought her mouth to his.
A.N.: Ahhhh!!! WAFF alert! Danger, Danger!
Okay, seriously. Here is where the story begins to pick up. Also, next chapter will be a little citrusy, so all you hentais who have been waiting with baited breath will get your little taste of lemon. But nothing hard-core. I don't think I could write something that lemony…
A.N. Two: Can anyone tell me what entropy means? You'll get ten points. I bet if you can you can tell I'm writing this in my boring biology class, ne?