Disclaimer on Chapter 1 – Don't own them, just enjoy playing with them!
Time Does Not Heal All WoundsWendyNat
Chapter 12
~~~~~~~
"Ahhh."
The barkeep of the Leaky Cauldron sat back with a sigh. He had just completed his weekly inventory and had taken the opportunity to relax for a few moments before the first customers arrived. Usually aren't too many at opening time on a Saturday, thank Merlin, he thought to himself with a small smile. The evening before had been extremely busy, and he had been forced to come in extra early to restock the bar.
Glancing at the clock with a sigh, he waved his wand at the door and charmed the "Open" sign to glow. Within moments, a familiar black-robed man entered.
"Severus! Good to see you," Tom said, beginning to rise until the other man waved him to stay in his seat at the table. Gliding smoothly to the table, Severus slid into the chair opposite. Tom lifted an eyebrow. "Your usual, I presume?" At Severus' nod, he waved his wand. "Accio Firewhiskey! Accio glass!"
Taking a sip of the drink that Tom poured for him, Severus sat back and smirked. "I will never again denigrate the art of foolish wand waving."
Tom snickered at that. "Right. And I suppose you also have some swamp land to sell me?" Severus just smiled in response. Leaning forward, Tom said, "Okay – as much as I enjoy your company you rarely come here early unless you have something on your mind. So, out with it, son." At Severus' apparent hesitation, he prompted, "Look, Severus. I may not be a Hogwarts Professor, but I'm intelligent enough to put two and two together and get four."
"Pardon?"
Tom raised his hand. Ticking off points on his fingers, he said, "Firstly, you just got back from that fancy conference of yours, which your former lady friend was most certainly attending. Secondly, you aren't coming in here looking like a black thundercloud. Thirdly, you are coming in here looking like there's something on that mind of yours. Fourthly, that little Charms professor was in here last night, pleased as can be that one Mrs. Hermione Krum will be returning to Hogwarts for a while to work with you on some potion or other." He waggled his fingers at Severus. "And that, my boy, makes me ask – what happened with your lady friend at that conference that you aren't stomping around cursing the esteemed Minister of Magic for putting you into this situation?"
Severus shrugged and took another sip of his drink. "Perhaps because, in this instance, events appear to be conspiring more or less in my favor."
Tom was intrigued. "How so?" Severus filled him in on the week's events. By the end of his speech, Tom had Accio'ed his own glass and filled it with Firewhiskey.
Severus sat silently, waiting for a response. Tom opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before finally shaking his head and stating, "Well, you've done something only three people have ever done before – made me speechless." Raising the glass of Firewhiskey to Severus in a mock salute, he downed it in one gulp – only shuddering slightly at the harshness.
"So, no wisdom to impart?"
"Hmm?" Tom looked unfocusedly at Severus. "My boy, this is not something I would have ever thought would happen. Quite frankly, I'm too shocked to think right now."
"I understand the feeling precisely," Severus gave a wry smile, taking another sip of his Firewhiskey. "And I'll have you know, your advice did assist me in resisting certain… impulses. Hopefully she will not take too long in deciding," he said with a frown.
Tom shook his head. "You're an honorable man, Severus, but you're only a man. How will you handle working in such close quarters with her?"
Severus snorted. "How is your inventory of Firewhiskey? You may be seeing me here rather often in the evenings, after I have a cold shower in the dungeons."
Tom guffawed. "I'll be sure to have plenty on hand." A serious look formed on his face, and he looked at Severus intently. "Here's your barkeep's wise thought of the day: Encourage her to make her decision quickly – hold back if you have to." With a glint in his eye, he continued, "You ever hear the saying Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Severus sneered. "Many years ago."
Tom nodded. "Well, it's good advice. Let her know you're holding back until she decides. Not too much, mind – or you'll just chase her right back to that Krum boy's arms. Let her have a taste, then pull back – you know what to do." All of a sudden Tom leaned back, grinning. "You still have that talent with Legilimency, right?"
Severus' grin matched Tom's. "You know me too well, Tom. Far too well."
* * * * * *
Thank God, Hermione thought, collapsing on her bed. Viktor had just Apparated to Spain, and Hermione was beyond relieved. It was too difficult trying to talk to him when her conscience was screaming at her.
I can't take this for much longer. She knew Susan thought she should give it a couple of weeks, at least, before telling Viktor anything… but she just didn't think she'd be able to keep up appearances for that long. She had never been good at subterfuge. Also, she suspected that Viktor had noticed something different about her. He had asked her a number of times over the last two days if everything was okay, if she was feeling well, if she was worried about something. She had had to catch herself a couple of times before she blurted out the whole story in Harry Potter fashion, instead claiming that she was just tired from the conference and thinking over the potion adjustments. He had given her some odd looks, but did not argue.
Subconsciously, she knew her decision had already been made. But the logical part of her mind kept telling her – in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Susan's - to wait a little longer, to make absolutely sure. She acknowledged the sense in that… after all, once she told Viktor that she was in love with Severus, the decision would be irrevocable. Before going to that point of no return, she should make sure it was what she wanted.
Remus' advice also rang through her mind. Don't take too much time. Lying on the bed she shared with her husband, staring at the ceiling of the house they had lived in for five years, she was struck by the improbability of her situation. So many women would kill to have a man like Viktor. Viktor was outgoing, had large groups of friends, was famous and well-liked. Severus, on the other hand… he was a war hero, and famous, but he was even more reclusive now than he had been during the war. As a result, people were still wary around him, and he was wary around other people – he could claim only a very small group of people as friends, and even fewer of those did he truly and completely trust. In a way, that difference made her impending confession easier to stomach. If she decided to leave Viktor, there would be no shortage of women lining up to take her place in an instant.
Silently, she made a promise to herself. If the next few days went well with Severus, if it still felt right, then she would tell Viktor. She brightened up momentarily when she remembered her dinner date with Susan on Tuesday. That would be perfect timing to talk things over with her perceptive friend and make sure she was making the right decision. Smiling to herself, she climbed off the bed and began to pack her supplies for the following day.
* * * * * *
The next morning, she Apparated to the Hogwarts gates. The folders and flasks that she had brought were safely minimized and stowed away in her robes, leaving her hands free. Smiling, she looked up at the castle.
It hadn't changed. Even the grounds looked the same, she realized with a pleased sigh. At least something in my life is stable, she thought with a small grin. Her parents had moved from her childhood home when the Death Eater attacks had increased during her seventh year, and she did not have any extended family still living so there was no "Grandma's house" to turn to when she wanted comfort or a sense of permanence.
Walking up the steps to the castle itself, she smiled at the memories it evoked. In no particular order, images rushed through her mind - Harry and Ron arguing over the Triwizard tournament, Susan and Neville sharing their first kiss in the library's Restricted Section their seventh year, Luna with her crazy theories, Ginny going through her stream of boyfriends before she finally settled down with Seamus Finnigan, Fred and George's wild escape in her fifth year, turning herself into a cat her second year, stealing from the Potions Master's private stores on multiple occasions, hiding underneath Harry's invisibility cloak, the Shrieking Shack, the Yule Ball, sitting in Advanced Potions while she tried to keep her mind on the lesson and off of the man at the front of the class… sighing, she opened the doors and entered.
She quickly made her way to the Great Hall, where she was immediately embraced by Minerva McGonagall, who had leapt from her seat the minute the door opened. "Oh, my dear, it's wonderful to see you!"
Hermione smiled at Severus, who was rolling his eyes. Pulling away, she kept hold of Minerva's hands and said, "I've missed you so much, Professor – I'm sorry I haven't been back to visit before now, but…"
Minerva waved her silent. "No matter, my dear, no matter." The twinkle in her eye made Hermione wonder just how many people had guessed the truth back when she was working with Severus at the Order Headquarters. Then she remembered Minerva's animagus form, and something Remus said made her blush in embarrassment. Oh, my… I wonder if her cat form has a cat's sense of smell… Smiling widely at the younger woman, Minerva continued, "You had your reasons. But, you're here now, and it's Minerva, not Professor." With that, she guided Hermione to the empty seat beside her chair… which happened to be next to Severus.
After thanking the Headmaster and greeting the other Professors that exclaimed over her, she sat down and turned to Severus. "Hello, Severus. So – are you ready for the grueling feat ahead of us?"
He gave a small answering smile. "Most definitely." He was about to speak further when he stopped, looking over her shoulder. With a smirk, he nodded to the person standing behind her. "Trelawney."
The Divination Professor folded her robes around her and her eyes took on a misty quality. "I sensed you would return, Miss Granger. My inner eye did foresee this."
Hermione turned in her chair with a raised eyebrow, unconsciously imitating her former Potions Master's stare. In an amused tone, she said, "Indeed, Professor Trelawney. Well, please excuse me for not being suitably impressed, since I know Professor Dumbledore made the announcement last week during a staff meeting. And, do tell your inner eye that it has my name wrong… I admit to being quite shocked that that eye of yours didn't realize I am now Hermione Krum?" She caught the swift glance Severus shot her out of the corner of her eye.
Trelawney glared at her for a moment before recovering her misty countenance. "The workings of the inner eye must not be questioned, especially by someone with such a negative aura." At this, Minerva and Severus both let out identical snorts. Albus smiled behind his hand.
Severus sneered, seeing an opportunity. "Well, since it appears that this end of the table is a veritable hotbed of negative auras-" he said, indicating Minerva, Hermione, and himself. "-perhaps you should find a seat on the other side." He smiled sadistically at the glare Flitwick sent him from the other end of the table.
Hermione stifled a giggle, forcing a serious look on her face. "Why, I believe Professor Snape is right. I would hate to smother the workings of your inner eye with our negative auras." Minerva glanced at her in amusement.
Trelawney simply nodded sagely. "Yes, that would be wise. This end of the table is far too grounded in the here and now, Professor Dumbledore. I sense that I will sit at the other end." She ignored Severus' bark of laughter and sat beside Flitwick, who did not look pleased.
Chuckling slightly, the Headmaster leaned forward and caught Hermione's attention. "It's wonderful to see you again, may I call you Hermione?" At her nod, he continued, "I believe Severus has already told you that we've prepared guest rooms for you in the dungeons. Please take advantage of our hospitality, my dear. If I know you and Severus, you both will be working the most ridiculous of hours to complete the potion." She laughed at that. He was most likely correct. They were both workaholics.
"Thank you, Headmaster – Albus," she corrected at his urging.
The rest of the meal passed quickly. She felt a pang of guilt whenever she caught Flitwick's suffering gaze from the opposite end of the table, but other than that it was a very enjoyable meal. It was wonderful to catch up with Minerva and Albus, and they had many questions for her in return about the years since she had left Hogwarts. She had corresponded with them both via owl post on occasion, but hadn't seen them in person for years. Not since the post-war celebration, she thought to herself. And on that occasion she had been so concerned with avoiding Severus that she hadn't had a chance to properly speak to her former Headmaster and Head of House.
Severus' voice broke into her musings. "If you're done here, I'd like to show you the lab and your rooms." With a nod, she stood and followed him from the Hall, waving goodbye to Minerva and Albus.
~~~~~~
"Wow. I really should have visited here before now!" she exclaimed a little while later, scanning the guest rooms that had been prepared for her. Smiling, she grasped Severus' hand and dragged him with her as she explored the space. "This is wonderful!"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "It is sufficient."
She looked at him incredulously. "Sufficient? It's fantastic! Did you see the bathroom? I fell in love with that tub at the hotel, but this one is even better! Red and gold," she said, smirking at the look on his face when she mentioned her former House colors. "Don't tell me, your bathroom is silver and green?" He nodded slightly, amused. "And I'm sure you have a swimming pool for a tub, too. Man, I wish I could talk Viktor into getting one of those." The second the words left her mouth, she winced inwardly. Ever consider thinking before you talk, Hermione?
Severus' smile slipped. Giving her an intense look, he said, "Hermione. I need to know your intentions." Taking a breath and turning his face away, he appeared to struggle for a moment before saying in a carefully controlled voice, "I have not allowed myself the luxury of hope for a long while. If I should not be indulging in said luxury, you must tell me now."
Swallowing, she sat down in the armchair next to the fireplace. "I- I-" Taking a breath, she calmed herself with an effort and said, "My heart knows what it wants. It wants you, Severus." His head snapped around to look at her. She raised her hand, "But I have to be sure in my mind, Severus. Don't you understand? There's no turning back, if I follow the path I plan to follow. I- I'm scared to hurt him-"
"But it's okay to hurt me?" he said in a fierce voice.
Hermione closed her eyes. "No, of course not… I'm sorry. I'm not handling this well, am I?"
Severus sighed and walked to her chair. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he squeezed gently. "I don't think there is a way to handle this well, Hermione. I will try to be patient, but I cannot promise I won't press you for a decision." She nodded, accepting his statement. "I have dreamed of you, of this, for too long to be patient when it is so close." She leaned her head back against him and sighed.
"I know. I have dreamed, also." With her eyes closed, she didn't see the sly smile that appeared on his face.
~~~~~
They worked feverishly for the next two days, studying each others' notes and preparing a new batch of the lycanthropy base. Two werewolves were scheduled to stay in the Hogsmeade house the next week, and they wanted to have enough of the base ready before the men arrived.
"The base has an adequate shelf-life, but once the final ingredients are added to the potion, the twenty-four hour countdown begins. The potion needs to be administered no sooner than one week before the full moon to give adequate time for the modified DNA sequences to be reconstructed. In studying Remus' DNA, I found that the reconstruction was complete in three days; however, I don't want to risk metabolic variances creating a different reconstruction rate," Severus informed her during lunch on Tuesday. They were eating in his office, neither willing to venture far from the simmering cauldrons.
"Understood. So that's why we're creating so much of the base." Hermione chewed thoughtfully.
Severus nodded. "The base is long-lasting, but we need to have adequate supplies of the completed cure for you to test the Manere adjustments. It will be a short window, you understand. Will your husband-" he couldn't hold back a sneer "-have issues with you staying long hours next week?"
Hermione shook her head, frowning a little. "No, we argued enough over that this weekend. He knows where I stand… on that."
"I see."
Hermione sighed. "Severus, he's a good person. He's one of my best friends, and has been since my fourth year. He doesn't always understand me, maybe, but he means well. He knows my work is important, and he supports me." Under her breath, she muttered, "Most of the time." When Severus shot her a glance she realized that he had heard the last comment. Shaking her head slightly, she changed the subject. "I actually do need to leave this evening – I'm meeting Susan for dinner."
"Ah, yes. When you see Longbottom, tell him he finally did something worthy of note." At her questioning look, he smirked. "To the delight of cauldrons everywhere, he didn't pursue a career in Potions."
Chuckling, she shook her head. "Be nice, Severus. Anyway, Neville won't be there tonight. He has some meeting or other – it's just a girls' night." At Severus' raised eyebrow, she laughed. "You know, talking, maybe a little drinking."
"Hmmm. Two drunken young women. Are you certain the invitation didn't mention my name?" Severus asked with leering smile.
"You can come if you put your hair in a bow and wear a dress," Hermione said, grinning. "Pink."
He just rolled his eyes at her. "That, my dear Gryffindor, will never happen."
"Oh, come on – you've got nice legs. You're not going to keep them hidden away forever, are you?" Hermione asked, batting her eyelashes.
Suddenly, his eyes narrowed and he looked at her thoughtfully. "Not forever, I hope. But there's only one way you'll be seeing them." She smiled until she met his gaze. At the look in his eyes, her mouth went dry and her breathing quickened slightly. He had not touched her over the last two days, and while she appreciated the fact that he needed to keep his distance, she missed the feel of his arms around her. She missed it too much, she realized.
As if reading her mind, Severus stood swiftly and pulled her from the chair. Wrapping his arms around her, he caressed her back while he looked into her eyes for a moment. Slowly, he leaned down and touched his lips gently to hers. Sighing, she leaned into him, pressing closer. At that moment, she knew she couldn't stay with Viktor.
* * * * * *
"Wow."
Hermione eyed her friend. "Susan, you say that far too often."
Susan grinned. "Well, stop telling me things that make me say it! On second thought, don't stop – I'm living vicariously through you right now. This is so exciting!" Suddenly she stopped grinning. "How are you going to tell Viktor?"
"Oh, Merlin, I don't know, Susan." Hermione shook her head, looking down at her empty wine glass. "I know it's not really his fault, but I can't help thinking… if only Harry hadn't told me… if only he'd talked to Remus, or McGonagall, or Hestia, or Tonks, or Severus – damn it, why didn't he talk to someone? When did he ever hold back before?" Susan just shook her head, staring at her. "Why didn't I trust Severus?"
"I'm sorry, Hermione. I wish there was something I could do to make this better for you."
Smiling at her friend, Hermione said, "You're listening to me, and not judging. Believe me, Susan, you're doing more than most people would do." With a sigh, she looked back down at the empty glass. "What will my parents say? What will Ron say? Viktor's friends?" Looking up at her friend through eyes glassy with tears, she whispered, "Am I crazy here? Am I doing the right thing?"
Susan moved next to her and pulled her into a gentle hug. "Yes, I think you are. If you don't love Viktor, you shouldn't be with him. You should allow him to find someone that will love him as much as he does in return."
Sniffing, Hermione leaned against her friend. "I know. I know. And he knows something's going on… he asked me again last night if I was in love with Severus. He said he felt like I was pulling away from him… what could I say? He's right, I have been."
Susan asked her quietly, "What did you say?"
"I told him I couldn't answer him. He was quiet for a minute, then changed the subject." Hermione sighed, pulling away from Susan's hug. "He's coming back Thursday. I don't know what to say."
"Well, you have two days to decide. Maybe you should wait until the weekend so you'll have more time."
Hermione nodded, then let out a breath. "Gods, I just feel numb now. So drained."
Susan looked at her sympathetically. "You've been on an emotional rollercoaster these last couple of weeks. You're bound to shut down for a while."
Hermione nodded, wiping her eyes. A voice from the doorway startled her. "Oh, hi, Susan, Hermione! I didn't know you were still here – we can leave if you'd like." Neville was standing there, smiling. Her heart froze when he turned to look behind him and said, "Hey, Harry – come say hello to Hermione!"
Harry. Harry Potter. The numbness vanished in a wave of red-hot fury. Leaping to her feet, she shook off Susan's restraining hand and stalked to the man that now stood in the doorway. Rearing back, ignoring Neville's shocked look, she threw her entire weight behind her fist as it connected with the famous nose of Harry Potter.
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Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! It's a bit of a cliffhanger, but I'll try to have the next chapter up within a day.
Indie – I'm glad you're enjoying it! Heehee on the chain scenario – you'll just have to read and find out!
Deb – More on the dreams in future chapters, so I don't want to give much away. You're absolutely right – the conversation with Viktor in the last chapter definitely helped Hermione make up her mind. Now, she just has to get the courage to tell him.
Michelline – Thanks! You're right – although Viktor's starting to catch on in this chapter, I think it's harder on Severus since he knows what's going on.
Shem – I have noticed your penchant for stealing my security blanket in your fics. I didn't have time to read the newest chapter of your fic… will do so when I'm home from work… but I'm worried ;). I'm glad you're enjoying this fic! Will update even more quickly this time… would hate for you to suffocate.
Andrian – Thanks! I will take care of Viktor, don't worry.. it'll be tough for a while, though. Poor guy.
Cherry Blossom – heehee! Thanks! The big talk is coming soon – within the next two chapters, I think. We'll see how long it takes Hermione to spit it out.
Rachel – Thanks!
Karen – Thanks! It is a sad situation, definitely.
Electryone – LOL! Hmmm… Oliver and Viktor… hmmm. It's a thought, but I have someone else in mind for our young dark and broody Bulgarian. Thanks for the Escape from the Darkness update – it's a great chapter! But it's a cliffhanger!! Argh! I think I made this one a mini-cliffie in retaliation :).
Raclswt – She's realized it, but the hardest part is coming – how to tell him? Thanks!
Crudely – She didn't really lie – she avoided his question… splitting hairs, I know, but she's trying to be happy and not hurt him in the process… too bad that's not possible.
Maddy-Riddle – Heehee – that dream did seem to be quite good timing, didn't it? You're right, also – it is something that Hermione is considering. I'm glad you liked the "Tuesday: Commit Adultery" – it made me laugh when I wrote it ;). I thought the same thing you did… didn't say anything about Wednesday or Thursday LOL!
Usapie – Thanks! I think there will be more dream sequences in future chapters ;)
Louise – Thanks!