Disclaimer on Chapter 1 – Don't own them, just enjoy playing with them!
Time Does Not Heal All WoundsWendyNat
Chapter 13
~~~~~~~
The room was absolutely silent for a single, endless moment. And then –
"Bloody Hell, Hermione! What was that for?" Harry let out a muffled yell from behind his hands, which he had raised to cover his nose. Neville was staring at her, dumbstruck. Susan was also staring, but a small smile had formed at the corner of her lips. She appeared to be trying to hold back a laugh.
Hermione rubbed her knuckles, and then gasped as the realization struck her. She had just punched Harry! And it felt good, she admitted to herself. Moving towards Harry, she reached for his hands but he backed away from her. "Harry – I didn't mean to hit you… it was just, seeing you standing there, after everything…"
"What the hell are you talking about, woman? After what?" Harry had lowered his hands, revealing a trickle of blood coming from his rapidly swelling nose. With a sigh, Hermione raised her wand and cast a healing charm.
Susan cleared her throat suddenly. "Well – I think you two need to talk. Let's give them some privacy, Neville." Neville was still frozen, staring.
Harry grabbed Neville's sleeve. "Don't you leave me here alone with this lunatic! What's up with her, Susan?"
"Not my place to tell you, honey. And, Neville isn't going to stay here and protect you, Harry – he's coming with me."
Neville looked at Hermione, and said, "I don't know, Susan – maybe I ought to-"Susan winked at Hermione and then leaned up and whispered something in her husband's ear, something that caused his look of concern to melt into an entirely different expression. "Really, now? Hmm. Well, that's an easy enough decision." Looking at Harry with a grin, he announced, "Sorry, mate. You're on your own. You know where the guest room is, it's already set up… and don't bother us until morning."
"Neville!" Harry exclaimed… but he and Susan had already left the room.
Harry watched Hermione warily. "What's going on? Have you gone mental? What did I do to you?"
"Besides ruining my life? Nothing," Hermione said, flouncing onto the couch. The raging flame of anger that she had initially felt towards Harry had dulled to a flickering glow. Common sense asserted itself – he had been trying to help. And he had only told her about it as a last resort. "Harry – please sit down. I really am sorry about hitting you, but I think you'll understand when I tell you."
Harry shook his head. "Thanks, 'Mione, but I'd prefer to stay safely over here until you tell me what this is about. And where the hell did you learn to punch like that?"
Hermione smiled. "Ron." Ignoring his muttered curse, she continued, "Remember that night, about six years ago, when I came to talk to you about how guilty I felt being with Viktor?" Harry nodded. "Well, you showed me something that hurt me a lot. And you didn't know the whole story."
Harry shook his head, frowning. "Whole story? What in Merlin's name are you talking about? What more of the story did you need? You saw it with your own eyes! I wasn't even planning on telling you, but then you came that night and starting blubbering all over my robes over your guilt, I had to show you. He didn't deserve your tears, Hermione."
She struggled to suppress the urge to stalk back over and hit him again. "Damn you, Harry! Why didn't you talk to anyone about what you saw? Why do you always get half of a story and run with it, never thinking to check and make sure what you saw was really the whole story? Gods, I was such a fool!" She sat back on the couch and shook her head. "How many times at Hogwarts did you do the same damned thing? I should have known."
Harry looked completely confused. "Hermione, will you just spit it out already?" His frown changed into a stunned look as she spoke, explaining what Severus and Tonks had done to conceal her identity from Voldemort. By the time she finished speaking, he had come to sit down on the couch beside her, leaning on his knees with his head clasped in his hands. "Oh, Merlin, 'Mione… I'm sorry… I didn't know." Suddenly his head shot up, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why does this matter now, anyway? You're married to Viktor. And when did you talk to him?"
Hermione stood up and began pacing. "Why does it matter now? Why? Damn it, Harry! I never stopped loving him, ever, but I was so hurt by what you showed me… I thought it was all over between us, and took your advice and moved on with my life. With Viktor." She whirled and moved a step closer to Harry, who shrunk back against the couch. "Damn you, I never would have married Viktor had I known the truth! I was hurt, and Viktor kept persuading me, and I thought… I thought – hell, I love him as a friend, he's been there for me, he wants me – what was I supposed to do in that situation? Become an old maid, pining forever after a lost love?" Angrily wiping tears from her eyes, she stopped speaking abruptly.
"But how do you know Snape didn't just make that whole thing up so you'd forgive him?" Harry still looked suspicious.
"Oh, grow up, Harry! If you don't want to believe Severus, ask Remus. He knew all about the plan Tonks came up with." Shaking her head in disgust, she said, "Merlin, Harry – I thought you'd be more mature by now."
Harry sprung out of the seat, now angry in his own right. "Mature? Me? You're the one who tried to break my nose just because I tried to help you! You're the one who went out and married Krum to get back at Snape!"
Hermione advanced on him in a cold fury. "You idiot! I didn't marry him to get back at Severus; I married him because he was… because… damn it all, I married him because I didn't love him!" At Harry's shocked look, she shook her head wildly, tears forming in her eyes. "Don't you understand? He was SAFE – he could never hurt me the way Severus did because I can never feel the same way about him! My heart was torn out when I had to leave Severus, I couldn't let that happen again…I- I had to protect myself… my heart – m-my soul… he still owned a part of it, I couldn't afford to let anyone else have a share, too – I would have nothing left. Nothing." Her shoulders shook with suppressed sobs.
Harry sat down heavily, his stinging nose forgotten. Pulling the weeping woman down onto the couch, he enfolded her in his arms. "Oh, Hermione, I'm so sorry. So sorry." They sat there for a long time before her tears began to slow. Gently, Harry whispered, "If it'll make you feel better, you can punch me again."
Hermione let out a choked laugh. "I might take you up on that later… but, it's not really your fault, Harry… I… I should have trusted Severus more… I should have known there was more to it."
Harry shook his head slightly. "I remember how much you fought me over it, until I forced you to look in the Pensieve. I'm sorry, Hermione." He kissed the top of her head. "But I still can't figure out when you talked to Snape."
Hermione pulled back a little, frowning at him. "I swear, you Quidditch fanatics can remember every detail of a game from a century ago, but you can't remember what a friend tells you just three weeks before?" Harry just shrugged, grinning. She rolled her eyes and continued, "The Potions Conference? The big one? The one where Severus and Remus spoke about the lycanthropy cure?"
"Oh, that's right!" Harry listened intently as Hermione told him how Remus had spoken with her, urging her to talk to Severus…. as she told him about their conversation, and how it had ended. At this, Harry's eyes grew wide. "You kissed him? But – what about Vik-"
Hermione cut him off, shaking her head. "I know, I know. I'm going to have to make a decision." She didn't tell him the decision was already made. While she trusted Harry's good intentions, she didn't trust his loose tongue with knowledge of that magnitude. She didn't want to risk Viktor hearing about it before she had a chance to talk to him.
Harry looked uncomfortable. "'Mione… I like Viktor. He's totally besotted with you – he'll be crushed if-"
"I know that, Harry. That's why this is so difficult. I don't want to hurt him, but is it any more fair to hurt Severus?" Seeing the look on his face, she glared at him. "Stop it, Potter! That man saved your life on more than one occasion while we were in school!"
Harry looked down at his hands. "I know. And he saved it during the Last Battle… for no reason… Voldemort was already down, and then Snape was almost killed, helping me." Harry shook his head. "Hermione, I can't say that I like the man. But I do respect him. And… even if I don't understand how you could possibly choose Snape over Viktor… I'll respect any decision you make." At her relieved look, he smiled slightly. "You didn't think I'd turn my back on one of my oldest friends, did you? I like Viktor, a lot, but… if you're not happy… if you're sure you'd rather be with some greasy git Potions Prat… I can't claim to understand it, but I'll be there for you."
Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Harry. But… if my decision does go that way… I'd rather you be there for Viktor. At least until it's calmed down some… I don't want him to think you're against him."
Harry gave her a grin. "But of course, fair maiden! I wouldn't miss the ritual for anything!"
"Ritual?"
Harry chuckled. "I don't know that I can tell you – it's top secret, sealed to the Y chromosome…" He raised his hands in defense when she raised her fist in a mock threat. "Okay, okay – the ages-old cheer-'em-up-by-taking-'em-to-a-strip-joint ritual. Oh, sorry – a 'gentleman's club.' The ladies will be all over him – poor famous Quidditch star, left by the heartless wench he once called wife… and those lovely ladies may just give some attention to his poor famous friends, standing by him loyally in his time of need…" Hermione couldn't hold her laughter back at Harry's wide grin.
Still laughing, she said, "Oh, well, then. I see why you were able to get over your breakup with Hannah so quickly." Hannah Abbott had left Harry after a two year relationship, claiming that she couldn't handle living in the spotlight anymore. Harry had been devastated at first, but seemed to miraculously improve after a surprisingly short time.
Harry gave her a sheepish grin. "Yes, well… the ritual always helps… but it was really Tonks who helped the most." At Hermione's questioning look, he continued, "Well… you know the whole metamorphmagus thing… she um… offered to…" Hermione confusion cleared, and she smirked at him. "Yeah, well, I'm sure you can figure it out," he finished, flushing slightly.
"That was very kind of her," Hermione stated.
Harry shrugged. "I think she was tired of me crying on her shoulder… and she said she'd always found me rather attractive… it didn't end up working out in the long run, but it was a fun short run," he finished with a grin. Hermione just rolled her eyes. "She's a good person, it's not like she does that for just anybody… and we did have fun, while it lasted. She didn't always change her form… we even tried to have a go of it, but it didn't work out – we didn't have a lot in common."
Hermione was a little surprised. "Wow – I didn't know anything about all of that!"
Harry shrugged. "We kept it quiet."
"Hmm. I didn't think you knew how to keep quiet, Harry," she said with a small smile. Harry just smiled back.
* * * * * *
When Hermione arrived at Hogwarts the next morning, most of the professors had already left the Great Hall. She was pleased to note that the Headmaster, Severus and Minerva were still there. With a smile, Minerva waved her to the empty seat next to her.
"How was the – what did you call it again – 'girl's night'?" Severus asked.
Hermione grinned as she poured herself some tea. "It was nice. Surprisingly productive." At Severus' raised eyebrow, she continued, "Actually, Harry showed up." Ignoring his thunderous look, she turned to McGonagall. "He wanted me to tell you and the Headmaster hello. And you, too, Severus."
Severus sneered slightly. "Hmm. I hope you gave him a suitable response."
With a grin, she leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I think I broke his nose." Severus sat back in shock, looking at her. She nodded, then shrugged. "I healed it, though."
"Pity."
~~~~~
Later, in the dungeons, she filled him in on the details of her confrontation with Harry. Including her comments about why she had married Viktor. Shaking her head, she sat down heavily on the lab stool, Severus watching her closely.
"I don't know why I never realized it before. It's like my mouth knew what my brain didn't – once I started shouting at Harry, the truth just came out. Viktor was safe. What a fool I was."
Sitting on the stool beside her, Severus looked at her. "If I could go back and change things, I would. I should have had Lupin, or someone, tell you about the plan… I never thought you would find out. I should have remembered Potter and that infernal cloak of his," he said, scowling.
Hermione shrugged. "And I should have trusted you more. I could have talked with some of the other Order members – Lupin, like you said, or Hestia. I just… when I saw it with my own eyes – I was so stupid. Please, forgive me."
In a smooth motion, he stood and pulled her into his arms, holding her close. "There is nothing to forgive. We were victims of circumstance."
She nodded against his chest. "Us and Viktor."
He frowned slightly. "Yes. Hermione," he said, pulling back slightly to watch her reaction. "It sounds like you've decided – tell me if I'm wron-" She pressed a finger to his lips.
"You're right, I have. I'm sure… I'm sure that this is what I want – that you are what I want. It's what I've wanted since that day in the basement lab…"
He smiled down at her. "When you called me damned stubborn. You were so fierce, so beautiful… your emotions always showed so clearly on your face."
She leaned her head against his chest. "Yours didn't… you took me completely by surprise. It was what I had wanted, fantasized about, for so long…" she smiled at the memory. "You don't know how many times in Potions class I would daydream about you – it's one reason I finished my work so early. I could sit with a book and pretend to read, all the while making up the most amazing fantasies…"
"Naughty girl," he murmured, chuckling. "Had I known, I would have taken points from Gryffindor."
Hermione raised her head, looking at him under lowered lashes. "Oh, I don't know, Professor." She reached a hand behind his head, pulling his mouth down to hers. Against his lips, she whispered, "If you had seen some of the things I came up with, I think you'd be giving me points."
A bubbling cauldron interrupted them a few minutes later. "What? Why is it –" All of a sudden, Severus threw them both to the ground, covering their heads and bodies with his robes and murmuring a shield charm as the cauldron exploded. A wild cackling came from the air above them.
"Peeves!" Severus roared, leaping to his feet and helping Hermione stand. But the poltergeist, with a cheerful raspberry accompanied by a rude gesture, sped out of the room. They could hear his wild cackling in the hallway until it suddenly stopped with a gasp. Severus grinned evilly, looking at Hermione. "The Bloody Baron must have come to investigate."
Brushing off her robes, she walked to the destroyed cauldron. "At least he'll be out of our hair for a while. What did he do?"
Severus shook his head. "I have no idea. It could have been almost anything – at that point in brewing, the base is highly volatile. There are a number of ingredients that he could have thrown to get the desired effect."
Hermione sighed. "Well, it looks like we'll be here late tonight to catch up. I guess I'll be using those guest rooms this evening." She rubbed her neck. "In fact, I'm going to change into some comfortable clothes. I'll be back." He nodded and said he would do the same.
When she returned to the lab, this time wearing jeans and a short-sleeved shirt that had been a gift from Harry, he had already cleaned up the mess and begun preparing the ingredients for the new batch of base. Watching him work, she said, "At least we have two other batches going." Severus nodded in reply and finally looked up at her. She laughed out loud at the expression on his face.
"I'd forgotten you haven't seen this shirt before – Harry gave it to me when I earned my Potions Mistress title," she said, grinning.
"Hmmm. Seems like something he would select. 'Potions Masters Do It with Precision,' eh?" he said, raising one eyebrow.
She shrugged, walking over to peer into the cauldron. "It was just a joke gift. He also got me a very nice bracelet." Stepping back, she slid an arm around him. "I thought you were going to change into something more comfortable. We'll likely be here most of the night."
He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure you'll be able to control yourself if I remove a layer or two?" he asked with a smirk.
Hermione pretended to think. "Hmmm. Well, we'll have to see about that, won't we?" She chuckled. "I'll have to control myself, Professor. I'm still a married woman, after all."
He turned his attention back to the cauldron, adding the next set of ingredients. "Yes. That leads into my next question." Casting a sidelong glance at her, he asked, "When will you… take care of that issue?"
She sat down on the stool. "I'm not completely sure. I definitely want to wait until he's back from Spain – it's really a conversation that should be had face to face. This weekend, I suppose." She sighed, looking at the smoke drifting lazily up from the simmering cauldron. "At least it's a simpler matter than in the Muggle world."
"How so?"
She shook her head. "Well, you have to file paperwork, and wait for the courts… usually both parties get a lawyer-" Seeing his confused look, she pressed her lips together. "Never mind – just accept that it's more difficult than signing a magical parchment and owling it to the Ministry."
He nodded. Then, with a small smile at her, he went to his office and returned a moment later without his outer robes. He wore a white buttoned shirt and black trousers. She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "You call that more comfortable? At least roll the sleeves up," she said, walking to him and unbuttoning the left cuff before he could form a protest. Suddenly she froze, eyes on the silvery scar in the shape of the Dark Mark.
She dropped his arm and walked back to the cauldron, staring at it blankly. He followed slowly, waiting for her reaction. As he came up behind her, close enough to touch, he saw that her shoulders were shaking. Tentatively reaching a hand out to her shoulder, he whispered, "Hermione…"
"I guess I know now why you were so interested in my reaction when you said dreams didn't count as a betrayal." Abruptly, his eyes narrowed. Gripping her arm gently, he turned her around to face him.
She was laughing.
He felt a wave of relief rush through him and he blew out the breath he had been holding. Wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, she shook her head. "All right, you manipulative bastard. I just want to know – how many times? Which ones were real?"
He sat down on the stool, running his fingers through his hair. "At the conference… well, you seem to have surmised that the bath dream was really me. A couple of other times at the conference, also. Not all night, of course. When a Legilimens reaches into someone's dreams they can't sleep themselves, you understand. You would have been suspicious if I'd collapsed from fatigue. Any dreams you had beyond that were from your own shameful subconscious." He gave her a slow smile. "And, before you ask – yes, only at the conference. I'm not talented enough to reach very far – I was lucky indeed that your room was directly above mine. Only Voldemort, and possibly Dumbledore, is – or was - skilled enough to broadcast very far."
She shook her head, poking a finger at his chest. "You're lucky I know as much about Legilimency as I do, you… you Slytherin! At least I know that my reactions were my own, even if your responses were not drawn from my subconscious. Someone else might have thought that you were controlling them." She eyed him speculatively. "As it is… I do believe you deserve a punishment for that, Professor. Though it has to be delayed somewhat…"
Leaning down, he whispered, "I am eager with anticipation, my lady, to submit to any punishment you can… dream up."
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Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Read and review!
Raclswt – She'll tell him in the next chapter or two… you really can't blame her for stalling, can you?
Indie Fairy – I put a little bit of blood in, just for you ;).
Electryone – Thanks! Once she cooled down she remembered it wasn't all his fault. Glad you liked the sly smile ;)
Bazile – Thanks! I'm glad you liked the Trelawney portion – she's fun to write about.
Kjay – Thanks! I'm really trying to show her emotions realistically – I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job. And I promise not to ask why you know so much about the topic ;). Thanks for reviewing.
Maddy-Riddle – Thanks – I'm glad that section about the luxury of hope came across well. Hope you enjoyed their discussion!
Kat – Hope you liked Harry's reaction, and very glad you're enjoying the fic!
D – I'm honored that you reviewed, since you say you usually don't! LOL @ the woohoo ;)
Shem – Thought you'd like the violent outburst lol! And you know I can't answer whether things will go smoothly now… bribes are accepted, though.
Trish – Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying the little humorous bits I'm sliding in here – I don't want it to be tooo heavy!
Deb – Thanks! I've always liked the barkeep as psychologist/counselor idea, glad you liked my choice of confidant for Sev!
Crudedly – Thanks – glad you thought it was cool… I was originally going to have her slap him, a la Malfoy in book three, but I liked the punch better on paper.
Zara – Thanks – I'm glad you liked it ;)