Disclaimer on Chapter 1 – Don't own them, just enjoy playing with them!
Time Does Not Heal All WoundsWendyNat
Chapter 15
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"Sit down. Ve need to talk."
Hermione was frozen. Her mind running frantically, she walked stiffly back to the chair she had been sitting in and sank down. What is going on? Granted, he had said earlier that week that he thought she was pulling away from him, but by his expression there was much more than just that on his mind. Could he have found out? But how?
Viktor sat down in the chair across from her. He sat silently for a moment, staring at his hands that were clasped before him. Without looking at her, he said, "I don't know how to start. I haff no idea."
"Viktor, what is it?"
He raised his head to look at her. "Hermione… I know." She didn't have to ask what he meant – his face told her. But how much did he know?
She couldn't meet his gaze any longer. Looking to the side, she said, "Why don't you tell me what you know, Viktor, and we'll start there."
"So there is something."
She wanted to deny it, to put it off just a few days longer, but she couldn't. "Yes," she whispered. "Please – tell me what you know." Seeing his face darken, she held up her hand and continued in a strained voice, "I will fill in any gaps… I promise."
"I know vat happened six years ago. I know vat really happened." Viktor leaned forward. "I know you thought he betrayed you, and that you now know the truth." Looking down at his hands once more, he struggled for a moment before stating, "Vat I don't know is vy this is affecting you so much. I can tell – I knew – something has been on your mind, you haff pulled avay…" His eyes went glassy for a moment and he blinked furiously. "I deserff to know." He took a deep breath, and then pinned her with his stare. "Do you still luff him?"
She closed her eyes against his penetrating gaze. Summoning all of her courage, she said, "Yes." Opening her eyes, she could see by his expression that he had expected that answer. She began to breathe easier. So far this hadn't gone too horribly. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she had thought. And then…
"Do you still luff me?"
Her heart began beating hysterically. I can't do this… I can't do this… I can't… I can't hurt him like this… And then, Remus' voice entered her mind. Think about five years from now… But how could she think about that? Five years ago she never would have thought that she would be sitting here, having this conversation with her husband. Suddenly, she realized she had paused too long. Viktor stood abruptly, heading for the door. She stood also.
"Viktor, wait –"
He spun around, fixing her with hurting eyes. "I vant this marriage to vork, Hermione. It's all I've ever vanted – you are all I've ever vanted. But – I- I do not vant haff of you. If… if you cannot give me all of your heart, I do not want any of it. No – don't say anything. I- I need to get avay, think – I'll be back later… think… think about vat you vant vile I'm gone. And…" he stopped for a moment, taking a few deep breaths. He turned his head away. "Tell me vat you decide. I cannot… I vill not… I mean, you vill haff to decide if you vant to make this marriage vork… if you can give it all of your heart… othervise…" His eyes met hers and she gasped – he was crying. She realized that in all the years she had known him, since her fourth year, she had not once seen him cry. Not even at his own parents' funeral. And now, he stood before her with tears. Oh, Merlin… what have I done? Her heart broke when she heard him whisper, "I luff you." And then he was gone.
Her knees gave way, and she fell to the floor heavily. Shaking with tears, she thought, You may love me, Viktor - but right now, I hate myself.
* * * * * *
Severus stormed out of the castle, still frustrated from the conversation he had had with Hermione earlier that afternoon. Did she really think that stalling would help? He could understand that she was afraid to confront her husband, but weren't Gryffindors supposed to be brave? Face their fears head on? He sneered.
Calm down, Severus, he chided himself. He forced himself to think back seven years to how he had felt when he had to tell her their relationship was over. He had also wanted to avoid it as long as possible.
Suddenly he froze, frowning. He had wanted to put it off because he loved her, because it tore his heart to think of not being with her. Was that how she felt? If that was how she felt right now, then… does she love her husband after all?
Shaking his head, he realized he had reached the gates. With a flick of his wand, he Apparated to the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron.
"Hello, there, Severus!" Tom called out as he entered. He nodded brusquely and made his way to the bar. There were only a few other people in the room, he noted with satisfaction. Thanking Tom for the drink, he raised an eyebrow when he looked at the glass. Tom chuckled. "Well, from the way you stormed in here it looked like you needed a double."
Severus smiled briefly. "Right you are, as always, Tom." Leaning on the bar, he rubbed his face.
"So, what's the situation?"
Severus downed a swallow of the harsh liquid. Letting out a breath, he looked at his friend. "She's decided." Tom raised his eyebrows, motioning him to continue. "She declared that she wishes to be with me."
Tom cocked his head. "Well, then, why are you sitting here, drinking up my stores?"
"She's procrastinating." Severus frowned, clenching his drink tightly. "She needs to tell him, as early as possible, but she's stalling."
Tom nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm. Well, can't be an easy thing to do." Severus didn't respond. Shaking his head, Tom stated, "Look, my boy, try to understand her position. It's easy for you – you don't have to face the fellow that you married years ago and tell him you don't love him. You just get to reap the rewards of all this – she gets the rewards, too, sure – but she also gets the problems. And that Krum boy – the only thing he's getting out of all of this is his own version of hell."
Severus looked thoughtful. "You do make a modicum of sense, Tom."
"Of course I do," Tom said, winking. All of a sudden, his smile dropped. "Hmm. You sure she was putting off that conversation, Severus?"
Severus looked at him quizzically. "I believe so… why?" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dark cloaked figure slide onto the barstool next to him.
But when Tom next spoke, he didn't address Severus. "Hello, there, son. What can I get for you?"
"I vould like a Fireviskey, please."
Krum.
Severus froze, keeping his eyes straight ahead. What is Krum doing here? Why isn't he with Hermione? Did she already speak to him? He dismissed that idea quickly – the kind of conversation they needed to have would take far longer than an hour or two. Not to mention the fact that, seeing Severus after a talk like that, the boy would have already used one of the numerous hexes that Karkaroff undoubtedly taught him. Maybe he's meeting Potter and Weasley here, he thought with a sneer, lifting his drink to his lips. That would be just my luck.
Vaguely he noticed Tom serving the man next to him. Krum had thrown the hood of his cloak back, and his face appeared strained. Tom gave him a sympathetic glance, and then shot a look at Severus.
The other man kept his eyes forward and took a gulp of the powerful drink, wincing only slightly at its harshness. Lowering the glass to the bar top, he leaned on it heavily. Still facing straight ahead, he said, "Severus Snape."
Severus gave the other man a sidelong glance, then nodded slowly. He noticed Tom surreptitiously readying his wand, and smiled grimly. Taking a silent breath, he turned to face the husband of the woman he loved. "Viktor Krum." Tom moved farther down the bar to give them privacy, but Severus saw that he was keeping a sharp eye out for any trouble.
"My vife is in luff vith you," Krum stated in a very controlled voice. It was not a question.
"Yes," Severus said simply.
Krum finally turned to look at him. Severus was taken aback by the pained look in the other man's eyes. The man was controlling it well, but Severus was well versed in reading others' emotions – a necessity for a spy.
"Do you luff her?"
Without looking away from the other man's direct stare, Severus answered, "Yes."
"I fell in luff vith her many years ago. Ven she vas only a fourth year." Severus said nothing. What could he say? Why was the man telling him this? "You haff also luffed her for a long time, you never stopped luffing her all these years." Severus nodded, unsure of where the conversation was headed. The other man finally looked away. "I vas her friend, but alvays vanted more. I tried not to, but I could not help it."
Severus nodded. "I tried to forget her. It proved to be… difficult."
Viktor looked at him squarely. "I vant to know – haff you been sleeping vith my vife?"
Severus' muscles tensed when he saw the other man's hand twitch, as if preparing to release his wand from its wrist sheath. Sneering, he said, "No, I haff not been sleeping with her, Krum. Whatever Potter and Weasley may have told you, I assure you that I have more honor than to sleep with another's man's wife."
"But it is all right according to this honor of yours to luff another man's vife?" Krum said with a sneer worthy of one of Severus' own.
Severus' eyes narrowed. "Believe me, Krum. I tried not to. I almost convinced myself, but then when I saw her again-" he clamped his jaw shut. He had not meant to say that much to the other man, but as Krum's shoulders seemed to relax he was relieved that his tongue had run away from him.
"I understand. I can not blame you for that. I also tried to forget about her, for years, but I could not." Krum stared into his glass as if he were searching for the answers within the amber liquid. "I came here, not thinking of finding you, just vanting a drink. Then, ven I saw you… vell, my first instinct vas to hex you."
A bark of laughter escaped Severus' throat. "I felt much the same, a few weeks ago."
Viktor smiled humorlessly. "I remember. That is ven this all started." At Severus' questioning look, he continued, "I had alvays thought it vas Harry. She never told me exactly voo it vas, and I assumed…" Severus made a rude noise, and Viktor shrugged. "I did not know, like I said. Ven Harry finally told me, that same night that you vere referring to… I guess that's ven I realized she must still be in luff vith you. Vy else vould she haff let me think it vas somevun else?" Viktor shook his head. "I vould not haff married her if I had known. But I saw her vith Harry and it vas obvious they vere not in luff…" Viktor looked down, fingering the wedding ring on his left hand. "I haff to admit I pushed her… I vanted her too much, maybe. She finally agreed to marry me. All because of a misunderstanding."
Severus shook his head. To his own surprise, he heard himself say, "She cares about you a great deal. It has been her main concern-"
Viktor just shook his head. "She vould not haff married me if she had known the truth back then." Severus did not answer. The statement was accurate, after all. He stared down at his drink. At the other man's next words, Severus' head snapped up. "You vill treat her vell."
"Yes," Severus said harshly. He was shocked to see the other man's eyes shine with unshed tears.
"If you do not treat her vell, you know I vill find you."
"Yes."
Viktor nodded, and downed the rest of his drink in one swallow. He stood to leave, but was stopped when Severus' hand gripped his arm. Severus looked at him seriously. "Thank you. You have been more… understanding… than I would have been." Viktor just nodded and pulled his hood up. "Hermione did say you were a good man." Severus gripped the other man's arm a little harder. "She is right."
Viktor shook his head, looking away. "Just…treat her vell. Make her happy." Severus nodded gravely, and the other man walked out of the bar.
Severus sat down heavily. He was confused by the exchange – once again, someone had surprised him. When Severus had first recognized the other man, he had been wary – the boy had studied under Karkaroff, and Karkaroff was one of the few Death Eaters that had actually known more of the dark curses than Severus himself.
Tom walked back to stand in front of him with raised eyebrows. "Not what I expected."
Severus blew out a breath and shook his head, muttering, "Not what I expected, either, Tom – not at all what I expected."
* * * * * *
Hermione sat at the kitchen table, fingers absently tracing the wood grain of the tabletop. Viktor had been gone for just over an hour, and she had been lost in thought the entire time.
She was sure. She knew she was sure. What she didn't know was how to tell Viktor, how to look in his eyes and tell the man she had lived with for over five years that she didn't love him, that she didn't want to make their marriage work. And then... how would she tell her parents? They had always spoken against divorce so strongly… it was one reason her mother had tried to talk her out of marrying Viktor at such a young age. Unfortunately, her mother's pressuring had only served to make Hermione more determined to do what she thought she wanted. She sighed, rubbing her face. I think I'll tell them by owl post. It would be safer that way, at least for her eardrums. Guiltily, she thought, At least Viktor's parents have passed… I won't have to face them. Then she cursed herself for her own selfishness.
She was so busy berating herself that she didn't notice Viktor enter the room until he stood directly before her. Sliding into the seat across the table from her, he stared at her tear-streaked face. His hands clenched on the tabletop in tight fists, the knuckles whitening.
"You haff decided." Tears flowing once again, she nodded. When she began to speak, he silenced her, "No. Don't. I know." Sighing, he took her left hand and held it gently in his, running his thumb over her knuckles. In a low, painful tone, he asked, "Vy did you marry me, Hermione? Vy? Ven you did not luff me." His eyes closed. "You should haff told me. I know I pressured you, but you should haff told me. I vould haff understood."
"I- I'm sorry, Viktor… I'm so sorry… I thought, back then, that I did love you… I knew I didn't love you enough, but I thought… I thought it would grow, the more time passed, if I married you… I thought I would… I- I cared for you, I still do."
He laid her hand back on the table gently, and looked at her with haunted eyes. "Did you ever vant it to vork?"
Hermione reached over and grabbed the hand he had just withdrawn. "Yes, yes, Viktor. I did… I thought… if I agreed… that my feelings would grow, would match what you felt for me. Forgive me. Please. I'm so sorry…."
He looked at her and smiled slightly. "It's not really your fault – I vas very persistent. But I still vish… I just vish you had told me then."
Hermione closed her eyes, silent tears seeping from her eyelids. "You deserve someone to love you completely, Viktor… I wish I was that person, but I'm not. I thought I could be, but I was wrong." She opened her eyes, and looked at the face of the man she had lived with, been a wife to, been loved by, for so many years. "I can't imagine not having you in my life, Viktor… you have been one of my closest friends for so long, I don't want to lose that."
He dropped her hand as if burned and gave a harsh laugh. "Even in Bulgaria, that is an overused line, Hermione."
She shook her head, eyebrows lowered. "I mean it, Viktor. It's not a line."
Viktor shook his head mutely for a moment. Then – "I can't be your friend right now, Hermione. It's too – it's too hard. Maybe… perhaps I can in time, later – not now." She nodded silently. She knew she deserved no better. He looked away and then, taking a deep breath, he reached into his robes, pulling out a roll of parchment. He handed it to her silently, not meeting her eyes.
Almost afraid to touch it, she reached out gingerly and opened the rolled parchment. Her breath caught when she saw what it was. A divorce decree. Her fingers shook when she saw that Viktor had already signed it. It was only awaiting her signature and an owl to the Ministry to make it official. He must have known what my decision would be. Through her tears, she saw the section labeled "Reason for Request of Divorce," and gasped. Divorce amicably sought by both interested parties for reasons specified: No Fault Divorce requested on grounds of differences of opinion related to Childbearing and Timing Thereof.
Looking up at her husband's face, she saw him nod. "I vould like to avoid publicity as much as possible. I do still haff my pride, Hermione. This vill be difficult enough-" he stopped for a moment, trying to get control of himself before continuing, "Vithout the truth plastered all over the Daily Prophet. I thought you vould agree." She nodded silently. He smiled slightly, for only a moment. "And… it's not really a lie. I vould like children, you know." She nodded.
"Thank you."
Viktor stood, opening his mouth as if to say something, then closing it again. She couldn't look away from his face, and watched sadly as tears formed once more before he blinked them away fiercely. Clearing his throat, he said, "I vill be staying vith Harry, I think. I vill come back tomorrow to… pick up some things. I cannot talk now about… everything else… but ve can meet next veek to decide vat to do vith the house-" his voice choked suddenly, and he swallowed hard.
She closed her eyes, not knowing what to say. She felt his lips on her cheek, and a whispered, "Goodbye," and then he was gone.
Gone.
She sat for a moment, immobile. It felt so unreal. She kept her eyes closed… opening them would make things real again, and her heart shrunk away from facing that reality. The reality of the pain she had caused her husband… No, my ex-husband, she thought, opening her eyes. Accio'ing a quill from the study, she signed her name to the parchment with a shaking hand, watching as it glowed a strange shade of bronze and sealed itself. Calling Frederick, their - her? - owl, she tied the parchment to his leg and sent him on his way.
Sighing, she sat back in the chair and extinguished the candles with a single word, feeling strangely numb as she sat alone in the moonlit kitchen.
Numb until her gaze fell on the table and noticed the object her eyes had missed earlier. Her heart froze in her chest. A single circle of gold, unadorned, glowing sullenly in the moonlight from the window. His wedding ring. Overcome, she lay her head down in her hands, moaning.
The house was absolutely silent that night, save for the harsh, wrenching sobs coming from the woman slumped over the kitchen table.
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Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Well, I guess it wasn't really all that enjoyable, but I hope you guys got some closure out of it ;). Read, review. More to come, I'm not ending there. There are still a lot of loose ends – Hermione needs to deal with all of this, and meet up with Severus, not to mention Viktor has a lot going on, and we can't forget about Hestia and Remus… so, keep reading!
Michelline – Thanks! Here's the Viktor talk… hope you liked it… and if you already were feeling bad for Viktor I'm sure this didn't help any ;)
Trish – Thanks ;). Sorry for stopping there, but I wanted a whole chapter just dealing with Hermione and Viktor's (and Severus') confrontations.
Shem – bwahahaha! (That was for the last chapter's evil cliffie – no evil cliffie this time so I didn't have to type two bwahahahas!) Thanks for the review… hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Electryone – Hmmm. Maybe I'll throw a slash in here somewhere, just for you ;). Thanks for your comments on the dream sequence… I don't know why I feel so nervous writing even semi-lemons, when I love reading them so much myself! And… major poor Viktor chapter here :(. I'll find some way to cheer him up but can't promise when…
Lizzie – Thanks!! I like writing guys talking, I don't know why. They're just so much fun. Here's the talk – hope it's satisfactory.
Maddy-Riddle – You're welcome ;). More things similar to the dream sequences coming up, but she can actually be awake this time LOL! You're right – this time Harry;s big mouth actually did some good, letting Viktor think about it over night. Oh, also thanks for the review on my other fic! I appreciate it!
Deepaur21 – thanks!! I've been trying to make it as original as possible for a fanfic ;)
Rilla – Here it is… and you're right, Harry's always stuck in the middle of her love life… especially now that Viktor's going to stay with him for a little while!
Andrian – LOL @ me getting the cliffies down to an art. I'm learning from the best ;). Glad you liked Harry fumbling around in the last chapter – that was a lot of fun to write.
Deb – Yep, for once Harry's flapping gums have helped the situation. Hope you liked the confrontation!
Anarane Anwamane – Thanks for the review!
K80 – lol @ your nice deed for the day ;). I will write some lemony fresh Severus soon – this chapter had to be more angsty, though. Thanks for saying I have the knack! It's very encouraging….
Keket Amunet – Thanks! Sorry to make you late for work ;).
Angelina – Thanks! You won't have long to wait, never fear…
Rachel – She hasn't had time to realize that it was Harry who told him, but oooh just wait :)
Indie Fairy – Glad you liked the dream! And yep, it did make it easier for Hermione, good thing for Harry
Louise Luvgood – Hope you liked this chapter – the deed is finally done… now for the aftermath!
Killer Angel – Thanks!
PinkChubbyMonkey – lol! Here it is – hope it didn't take too long ;)
LJ Yolo – Thanks for the review – and nope, no abrupt ending… I'm enjoying these guys too much, and I've just got to take care of poor Viktor. (Not to mention poor Sev who has been stuck in the dream stage for too long ;) )