A/N: Ahhhh!!! Inuyasha's back on adultswim!!! Inuyasha's back on adultswim!!! Inuyasha's back on adultswim! He's so cute when he's jealous! Awwwwww! I'm just bursting. I feel like a kid in a candystore. I was clapping along with the really cute parts…(my neighbors must think I'm really quite strange…) Anyway…::takes a deep breath:: ah, glad I got that out of my system…on to the juicy stuff…
whew So, these few chapters have been draining on me, really. I should be doing homework, but I just lounged around all day working on these few chapters, cause I just couldn't believe I was here already and I wanted to get them out.
As you'll notice, I didn't go into any details with Sango and Kagome's shopping expedition. I actually started to write something about it, but Puck (again) wouldn't let me. I think I agree with him, too. I've done enough silly stuff here and I did just get them out of the spa sequence, so I didn't want to take them on another non-essential expedition. As always, if you guys think I should elaborate more on their shopping travels, just review and tell me and I could always add it in later. As it sits right now, I just said they were going shopping cause I didn't want Kagome to go home with her tail between her legs after that really strong confrontation with Inu. Which means, that I skipped the whole shopping scene.
Let's see…what else…oh yeah.
I know I made Kagome kinda cruel in the last chapter. winces Sorry. You shoulda seen what my first draft looked like! But I couldn't seem to get around the fact that Kagome needed to tell him off. It's the only way I could think of Inu coming to the kinds of conclusions I wanted him to come to. I promise that I'll try to make it better! Really! This chapter is an attempt at that.
So, um…I think that's all. Oh, except that sorry, but this is another short chapter. ducks behind bookcase
Disclaimer: Okay, so I looked this up, alright. It turns out that according to the United States Code Annotated which tells all the statutes of the US, fair use of copyrighted material can be done if it is for nonprofit uses (which I'd say fanfiction includes), the nature of the copyrighted work, meaning if it's done in fun or to bring up some social commentary (which, the fact that nearly all fanfiction has Inu and Kag getting together could very well be seen as a social commentary as to the necessity for those two to get together) or meant to try and actually pass itself off as the original work (which, since we all know that I didn't come up with the characters, is a moot point, anyway) the amount of the work used (which considering some AU stories, isn't much) and the effect on the potential market or value of the original work (and considering that fanfiction is written by fans, its not likely that it will affect the market of the original work…more'nlikely, it'll enhanced it, right?) Anyway, taking all this into account, it's very probable that the Supreme Court would find that there's no harm, no foul in fanfiction…so…um…sue, if you want. (Not that I have anything you could take…that hasn't changed.) ::watches in glee as the Attorneys in ominous black suits look at each other in surprise and dismay, then hunch over in defeat…walking slowly away.:: Hey, that actually rhymed! I'm on a rooolll!
Thanks: Oh, wow. I keep getting amazed at the way you guys are so good about reviewing my chapters! Thanks, guys.
Aeyikie: ^_^ The fluff is coming, I promise! This chapter I'm posting now is probably considered more angst, but you get to see more about Death! I'm sorry to hear about your school conspiracy! On the bright side, you'll probably get the chance to meet new friends! ::smiles hopefully, then stops, the smile falling from her lips. She slaps her forehead, shaking her head:: Oh, Goddess, I'm turning into my mother! I can't believe you made the name up, that was so cool! I suck at making up names. Which is why I get weird looks from the people at the bookstore and the library when I check out and buy books on baby names and their meanings. Heehee…
Eartha: Yeah, I know. I kept thinking about how to do it so that it wasn't that mean, but…well, I had to do it. She is lying to herself, but, like Inu, she'll come to her senses soon enough…I promise!
Pruningshears: Wow! You sure upped my review count! Thanks! It's not often people review for every chapter if they're catch up reading. I'm honored you took the time to do it. Thanks. So, I'm going to respond to each of your reviews…::braces herself…:: Okay, here goes…
(3) I don't know about the expression, I've just always said it. I think it's a Miami thing. I've been to Orlando, obviously, and I think the difference is that we've got the whole Cuban-American influence over here…::shrugs:: best I can think of, really. The ease with which Mirouku's dialogue comes out scares me. I think despite having ideas for other Inu/Kag fics, I might just have to dedicate some time to a Mirouku fic. I guess I owe him. He's so cute and fun to write!
(4) About the high heels line…well, that's sorta what my mom told me when I started wearing heels. Heehee…with your height, you probably just have to re-adjust the distribution of balance, but think of it this way, your height is like supermodel height…and they do it (have you seen the heels those women wear? ::shudders:: scary.) Yeah, I think if it wasn't because I managed to make the modern clothes seem a little more manageable for him, I couldn't have gotten around my sense of Inu's stubbornness, either! :)
(7) Yeah, Orlando's kinda a stickler for letting minors into their clubs. ~_~ Have you tried going to Pleasure Island? They let you in under 21 if you wear a little band. You can go to all the clubs except like 2. I know cause I went for my bday and that's what happened. Glad it looks good to you anyway!
(8) blush Thanks! I'm glad it didn't disappoint you after waiting 8 chapters for it! ^_* Thanks for pointing out that you like my style. I like to think that I have one, it's nice if it gets recognized!
So…after chapter 8 what happened? I hope you stayed with me and are reading my response all the way over here on chapter 19! @_@
Moon Fairy: Howdy! Glad to hear you're feeling better. Allergies can be hell. I know. Very glad you liked the chapter. Did you think she was too cruel, too? Hope you like the newest installment! ^_^
eX Driver Liz: Hey! Different bad? Good? Too OOC? ::frowns:: Yeah, it's almost over. I'm actually already seeing the end at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for wishing it weren't over, though! That's gotta be one of the best types of compliments for a writer! Is this soon enough for an update? And the chapter coming after this one is gonna be just chock-full of fluff. I already have it written, so I can promise. I just have to edit. ^_^
Niku: Hey, formerly known as Angel Moon, how you doin'? whew Glad that you liked Kag's little rant. I've had mixed reviews about it. Most people thought she was being cruel…granted, but I hope not uncharacteristically cruel…or cruel without warrant. I guess I didn't explain Inu's thing with not letting her near the water. His whole thing with the water, why they freaked out about their being a pool anyway, was because of the witch in the beginning who prophesized that Kag would meet her end by water. What I thought I had been letting on as the fic went was that Death has a connection to the water and kind of uses it as his medium, you know, the way he can reach Kag. Which was why I made Inu sense magic just as he approached the pool room and as Kag was approaching the water. Anyway, if that was not clear in the writing itself, please lemme know cause that means I have to re-do some of it, I guess, so that it becomes clearer. Thanks!
Lady Jade: bows, blushing thank you. I was a little nervous about the emotion in the last chapter. I didn't want it to be too much, you know, especially after the flippancy of the humor in the other chapters. Thanks for letting me know you didn't think it was! I'm kinda excited about this chapter I'm posting now, so be sure and let me know if it doesn't disappoint! (Oh, hell, lemme know even if it does!)
Trinity Kirara: The next few chapters are an attempt to make it better. I hope. You're more than welcome for the announcement…it was good!
Rinoa OHeartilly
Thanks for sticking it out with me, Rinoa. I know there've been some dicey moments. You're great, really. And yes, a good argument really does spice up a fic, in my opinion. I love arguments. Dialogue is my forte, as far as I'm concerned, but sometimes I worry that I'm focusing on it too much, y'know? Anyway, thanks again! ^_^
Agent Scully: blushes So glad that was one of your favorite chapters. I wasn't too sure about getting back in the angst bit since I'd been doing humor for awhile, and plus, like I said above, I was afraid it was too cruel on Kag's part (even though I went through like 2 previous drafts where Kag was way crueler) If you like angst, you should like this chapter I'm posting now. At least I think it's angst, so if you don't think so, then let me know, will ya? I probably have to re-adjust my sensors or something. (To quote you, Le Sigh…lol I LOVE that!) btw: can you believe they did what they did to X-Files?! Ah! I was so upset! ::exhales through her nose, starting to gain momentum. Puck smacks her, glaring:: You had to bring up that subject again? :: Emania sighs, regaining her composure:: It's okay…I'm alright now.
Chapter 19: If You Ever Did Believe
"I continue to build the wall/ You were so strong I fell to my knees/ And I don't think I can handle this at all / … / If you ever did believe, for my sake... / If you ever did believe.... / Baby don't leave me.... / Did you ever believe?"
-If You Ever Did Believe, Stevie Knicks
She had to do this, she told herself as she looked at the water steadily filling the tub. She couldn't just sit around and wait for Death to come to her. She had to take matters into her own hands; she had to take the initiative. She couldn't fear it for the rest of her life because a life lived in fear is just as worthless as a life never lived. And if immersing herself in water was the only way to do it, then…then she had to do it.
"'You won't do anything rash, will you?" Sango had asked her before going to the guest bathroom to wash up.
Kagome laughed depreciatingly. 'Rash?' she asked silently. 'No, of course not. With the amount of work it's going to take for me to get into that tub, it would not be something rash.'
But was she doing this because of what Inuyasha had said? Maybe she only felt she had to take this initiative because of Inuyasha's words? Because Inuyasha had once again compared her unfavorably to his precious Kikyo, who it seemed she would never be able to live up to?
Kagome frowned and hit the porcelain rim of the tub before she could reach out and touch the water. 'Damn!' she thought. 'Why do I let him get to me, so?' She sighed and turned around to look at herself in the rapidly fogging mirror above the sink. She reached out and touched the contours of her face. She certainly looked like Kikyo, but why couldn't he get it through his thick skull that she was her own person? That just because they had at some point shared a soul…
They shared a soul…
How could they be so different if they had shared the same soul?
Maybe he was right. Maybe they weren't all that different? Maybe she was just acting different because of the different situation she found herself in? How would she have acted if she were Kikyo? Would she have asked him to turn human? Would she have believed that Inuyasha really had tried to kill her? Would she use her powers that had once been good to cause him pain and destroy him? Could the love she feels for him ever be turned to hate?
The love she feels…
The words echoed in her mind. She does love him, doesn't she? When did that happen? Try as she might, she couldn't pinpoint the one moment that her feelings blossomed. Was it when he saved her from the Thunder Brothers? Maybe it was when he came after her when Kouga took her? Or maybe it was when he first faced Sesshomaru? Surely when he turned human that first time she already felt something…didn't she?
Now, after all he had said, after all the times and the many ways he had hurt her, sometimes purposefully, sometimes without knowing it, could she hate him? She was hurt, yes and she had wanted to hurt him the way he hurt her, but could the love she feels turned to hate? No. Could she ever ask him to turn human? No. She loved him the way he was…granted she wished she could make him see some serious flaws about his chosen way of dealing with people, but she would never ask him to become human. Could she ever bind him to tree in an attempt to kill him? No. Could she ever wish to drag him down into hell? The answer whispered across her heart as softly as the steam caressed her skin.
No.
And yet…
Her hand caressed her lips as if exploring them for the first time. These are lips like Kikyo's. She traced the shape of her cheek and thought, 'This is a cheek like Kikyo's.' The shape of her eyes, the color of her skin, the fall of her hair, the curve of her neck, the arch of her hip…all these were features that Kikyo had laid claim to first. Much like his heart.
And she wondered if he would ever see that it was all just physical. That somehow, even though her body may look like a copy of Kikyo, the soul they had once shared was hers now and hers alone and the heart that beat in her chest would never be like Kikyo's could never be so cold and could never hate him. She was sure of this now. As sure as she was that she loved Inuyasha and as sure as she was that she had to face Death.
Not because she needed to prove herself to Inuyasha and not because she wanted to know she could. Not even because she wouldn't let herself be afraid of water. No. Beyond all that, she knew she must face Death because for some reason, he needed her. He was in pain…she could still feel the remnants of it like the scent of the ocean on the breeze. For some reason, and in a strange way, he was asking for her help and somehow she knew…
She turned back to look at the water.
She knew just as she knew that although she had shared the same soul with Kikyo, they had never shared the same heart…
First one foot, then the other went into the warm water and the smell of the ocean became stronger, the feel of his magic swelled…
…she knew she had to help him.
+~+~+~+~+~
She was running. There were trees at either side of her, blurring with the speed of her movements. She was scared. She could feel the fear spurring her on, but it was not her fear. She was not Kagome here, it was as if she were feeling what someone else felt. The body she was in stumbled and fell, tumbling a few feet before it stopped. She could hear the shouts chasing her like disembodied ghosts coming after her. She couldn't shake them…they were coming after her…they were going to get her…they were going to kill her…
As she scrambled to her feet, she saw the first of them break through the trees a few feet away from her.
There he is!
Run. He had to run. He had to get away.
Water. He needed water. Why wasn't there any water here? He couldn't feel the water. Where was the water?
The thoughts grew more and more wild and feral. Where could he go? He couldn't hide.
Get him! There he is!
He came face to face with a canyon wall and in his desperation he tried to climb it, but he didn't have claws…another flaw…and he slid down the wall as if through water, only it wasn't water and when he looked at his hands, there was blood.
He's only a half-breed.
The voice was right behind him and as he spun around, he came face to face with a pair of cold brown eyes…
Kagome gasped. 'No…' she thought.
He had seen his father control the water within the human body and in his desperation he tried to do the same. He closed his eyes and tried to focus, tried to call upon their water…
He's trying to use his magic on us, the cold, controlled voice informed the mob.
The laughter echoed around him. We are protected, half-breed, taunted the villagers. You cannot harm us with your magic, but we will punish you for drowning our children!
The boy looked out into the hate in their eyes and knew it was useless to argue. He couldn't make them see reason. He looked into the eyes of the Priestess leading them and knew he couldn't get away.
'You know better than this, don't you?' he asked the Priestess silently, knowing beyond a doubt that the Priestess could hear his words. As a water demon, mind reading was one of the things he could do…but unfortunately as a half demon, he couldn't control their minds. 'You know the truth.'
In answer, the Priestess strung her bow and aimed at him. He met her eyes and saw the hardness there. 'We will meet again, Priestess,' he promised, closing his eyes as the arrow began to glow.
'Kikyo!' Kagome called out, but wasn't heard.
The pain of the arrow burned through her as it pierced his heart and she screamed.
"No!"
+~+~+~+~+~
A/N: Yey! Puck (that's my muse) finally decided to let me in on a bit more about Death! So…what do you guys think? It just came out that way, honest, I didn't plan it to be like that. Now it makes sense to me why Death would want Kagome, how about you guys? Makes sense? Good twist? Bad twist? Sucks ass? What…?
Oh, and sorry about the cliffie. This time, I did do it on purpose. Well, not really on purpose, I mean, I wrote out a bunch of stuff and it wouldn't have ended here, except that it was just too long with the other stuff, and in order to have the other stuff separate, I had to end it here cause it wouldn't make sense elsewhere. ~_~ Anyway, you'll see. The next chapter should come out relatively quickly on the heels of this one. And that one, will have plenty of fluff…right now it has too much fluff for my liking, but Puck seems to think that that's the way it's going to stay. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. ::ignores Puck's glare:: You did ask for fluff, didn't you? ::he asks angrily. Emania sighs.::