Disclaimer on Chapter 1 – Don't own them, just enjoy playing with them!
Time Does Not Heal All WoundsWendyNat
Chapter 16
~~~~~~~
Ouch.
Hermione rose stiffly from the chair. My back will never recover, she thought, stretching her muscles. Sometime during the night she had finally fallen asleep at the kitchen table. She sighed. She clearly remembered considering moving to the bed, but a fresh wave of tears at the thought of sleeping in the bed that she and Viktor had shared for so long had forestalled that idea.
"I must look a mess," she muttered, rubbing her face.
She was shocked to hear an answering voice say, "Yes, you do." Her head snapped up in surprise, then relief.
"Susan."
The other woman stood from the chair in the corner and came across the room, wrapping Hermione in her arms. "Oh, sweetie…" Feeling Hermione's arms tighten around her convulsively, she whispered, "You did the right thing. You did."
Hermione shook her head. "It was so hard, Susan… he was so hurt." Then, something occurred to her and she pulled away, looking at the other woman curiously. "I'm glad you're here, but how-"
Susan smiled. "Harry floo'ed Neville this morning to tell us – he thought you may need some company this morning. Viktor's staying there for now."
Hermione sighed, looking at her hands. "Neville must think I'm insane, doesn't he?"
Susan smirked. "Well… yes. He thinks you did the right thing, but he thinks you're completely nutters for wanting to be with Severus at all." Hermione laughed. Susan smiled at her. "Now, that sounded nice. How are you feeling?"
"Guilty beyond measure. I feel so horrible for what happened, right or not, it hurt him so much… Susan, he actually cried – I've never seen him cry before." Hermione looked down at her hands again. "Not even at his own parents' funeral."
Susan smoothed a lock of Hermione's hair back behind her ear. "He's doing okay, Hermione. Harry said he's upset, of course, but he's doing okay. He told Neville – what was it? That he thinks Viktor ought to be ready for some ritual by tomorrow night. I tried to get Neville to tell me what he was talking about, but he wouldn't open his mouth." With a sly smile, Susan said, "I'm sure I could have convinced him to spill, but I didn't have time – I wanted to get here and see how you were doing."
Hermione chuckled, relieved by Susan's news, and explained the "ritual" to her. Susan grinned. "I should have known," she said, shaking her head. "Well, I guess that means Neville will be out tomorrow night. I would suggest a girls' night, but I have the sneaking suspicion that you may be spending it with that snarky man of yours."
"Well… maybe it would be good for me to get out anyway. It's not like I'm going to drop my friends just because I'm with someone else, and Mum always did tell me to 'start out the way you mean to go on,'" Hermione said hesitantly. Susan smiled. "Let's make it a date… with the understanding that I may back out if necessary. I think I can get away for one evening, though – I have a feeling that Severus and I will be sharing rather close quarters soon, day and night, and it will be good to have a break." Hermione sat back with a sigh. "I'm planning on asking Albus if I can use those guest rooms for the next couple of weeks, until this blows over and I figure out where I want to stay. I- I don't think I can stay here."
"Too many memories?" Susan was sympathetic.
Hermione nodded. "I couldn't even sleep in our bed last night."
Susan smiled wryly. "I noticed." Her nose wrinkled. "In fact, you need to get cleaned up. Why don't you take a bath and I'll conjure up some breakfast. I'll even owl Severus that you'll be late."
Hermione agreed, too drained to form a protest. Opting for a shower rather than a bath, she sighed with pleasure as the water sluiced over her face and body. She felt some of the tension flow away, swept along with the stream of water flowing down the drain. Not all of it, of course, but it was a start. She shook her head, thinking back over the conversation she had had with Susan. An echo of her earlier comment played in her mind: Mum always did tell me to start out the way you mean to go on. Her Mum. What was she going to tell her parents? How? Should she owl them, or – she shuddered slightly at the thought – should she visit them in person? Their dental office was closed on Fridays, so it would be quite simple to Apparate to their home and speak with them that very morning.
Am I ready for this? She knew she had to communicate to them before tomorrow's Daily Prophet was sent out – her parents had taken out a subscription to it when she was admitted to Hogwarts, wanting to understand as much as they could about her world. There was no doubt that the moment the divorce parchment was registered the Daily Prophet would know about it. Thankfully she had sent the owl rather late the night before – far too late for a Ministry official to have registered it the previous night but it would definitely be registered that day.
Who else do I have to tell? Hermione assumed that Ron would find out through Harry. I'm sure he'll be delighted to attend the "ritual," she thought wryly. Remus and Hestia would undoubtedly find out through the grapevine, or from Hermione herself if Remus happened to be at Hogwarts that day. She felt another wave of guilt when she thought about Viktor's friends. Stoyan and Oliver would be shocked, she was sure. As would his other coworkers at the ISC.
Turning off the shower, she stepped out and quickly dried off. She returned to the kitchen and smiled when she saw Susan eyeing her critically. The other woman finally nodded and smiled slightly. "Much better. Now, I've sent the owl to Severus to tell him you'll be late." Pushing her towards the table, Susan commanded, "Sit. Eat. Talk."
Hermione didn't feel hungry, but seeing Susan's determined look she sighed and obediently took a bite. Much to her surprise, when the warm food touched her tongue her hunger came back full strength and she devoured the breakfast quickly. Satisfied, she sat back with a cup of hot tea and began to talk. She told Susan the entire story of her two conversations with Viktor. She was proud that her voice only wavered a couple of times during the monologue… until the very end. When she tried to tell Susan how she had felt when she saw the wedding ring lying on the table, her throat closed of its own volition and she lowered the trembling teacup to the table, shaking her head mutely. Susan seemed to understand, and clasped her friend's hands tightly in her own.
"You don't have to say it, sweetie. I can imagine how you must have felt. Now, why don't you pack some things for the weekend and get out of here?" Susan paused for a moment. "Are you sure it will be all right for you to stay at Hogwarts? We have a guest room if you need it, and I'm also willing to watch Crookshanks for you if you need me to."
Hermione just shook her head. "No, Susan – I think I want him with me. And I'm almost sure Albus won't mind – he already has the guest rooms set up for me." She sat back heavily, letting out a breath. "I have to go by my parents house this morning… I think I'd better tell them about all of this before they read it in tomorrow morning's Daily Prophet." Susan nodded her agreement, and Hermione rose to her feet.
After a quick packing, she minimized the suitcase and hid it away in her robes. Then she gathered Crookshanks and turned to her friend, flinging an arm around her in a half-hug, mindful of the orange ball of fur in her other arm. "Thank you, Susan. Thanks for being here for me."
Susan smiled. "I'm always here for you, Hermione. Remember – I'm just an owl or floo call away, if you need to talk. And, listen," Susan said, looking at her seriously. "I really do think you did the right thing."
Hermione smiled through teary eyes. "Thanks."
* * * * * *
"Blast it," Hermione muttered, gazing at the cars in the driveway of her parents' house. She had been half hoping that they were away, off for a quick breakfast at their favorite restaurant. But, both cars were in the driveway and that meant that she had to face them in person.
With a heavy sigh, which prompted Crookshanks to look up at her balefully, she trudged up the front steps and rang the doorbell.
A half an hour later, she was mentally kicking herself for not simply sending an owl. How hard could it have been? A quick message, saying "Hi, Mum & Dad, Sorry haven't spoken in a while, but have some news – am now divorced. Love to you both, Hermione." What made me think it would be better in person? she thought, wincing inwardly when she heard her mother emit another patented "my daughter has ruined her life" sigh.
Her Dad was surprisingly levelheaded about the situation. After ascertaining that Viktor hadn't hurt her in any way ("Magic or not, if he hurt my baby girl I'll kill him!" "No, no, Daddy – nothing like that!"), he had been rather relaxed. It was her mother that was causing her to look down at her hands like a fifteen year old caught out after curfew.
Bollocks that, she thought. Looking up to meet her mother's eyes directly, she felt her courage return. "Mother. Please. Do you really think I should have stayed married to a man that I wasn't in love with?" Her mother didn't answer, just dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. Hermione's voice turned pleading, to her own disgust. "Mum, please. Please try and understand. I thought I loved him, I really did… I wanted to love him, but it just didn't happen. He's better off free to find someone who can love him that way." And I'm better off free to be with the man that I do love.
Her father finally left the room. He had a tennis match with a friend that morning and needed to get ready. Her mother's head turned slightly, listening. As soon as she heard the footsteps reach the upper floor, she turned back to her daughter with a shrewd look.
"So, what's his name, young lady?"
"Wh-what?"
Her mother laughed. Actually laughed. Hermione shook her head in bewilderment. "Sweetheart, I'm not a fool. I'm a woman, too, you know. No one leaves her husband because she doesn't love him, unless she has another prospect waiting in the wings." When she saw her daughter's face darken indignantly, she patted her hand. "Honey, I don't mean that in a snide way. Not at all. It's just – you didn't hate Viktor, and you seemed happy enough. Something must have happened to spur all of this, and since you seem sad rather than hurt… well, it doesn't seem like Viktor did anything to make you leave. So, there must be another man that pushed you to this decision." Sitting back on the couch, her mother stared at her tiredly. "You think I couldn't tell you didn't really love him when you got married? That's why I tried to talk you out of it so persistently. Oh, you cared for him, but there was no sparkle in your eyes when you spoke about him, no connection between the two of you. Not like when you spoke about that other gentleman." Her mother's face tightened. "The one you refused to name. As if you couldn't trust your own family."
Hermione closed her eyes. "Mum, you know why I couldn't. I explained all that."
Her mother nodded, loosening slightly. "I know, honey, but a mother doesn't like to be so shut out from her daughter's life. I wanted to be there for you, help you… you'll understand someday, when you're a mother yourself."
"Mum, let's not get into that, okay? You know how I feel about children." Hermione shook her head, adding, "Viktor never really believed me, I don't think. It's actually the official reason that he put on the divorce parchment. Anyway, I have plenty of time to decide… witches can bear children well into their sixties."
"Yes, well, be that as it may, I think we've strayed from the subject. Who is he?" Her mother's eyes narrowed. "Do I know him? Is it Harry?" Seeing her daughter's face, she laughed. "Okay, not Harry. But, who is it? Is it the same man as before?"
Hermione sighed. "You win, Mum. I'll tell you, but please try to hear me out before you say anything." Hermione closed her eyes, and told her mother about Severus. When she was done, she waited for a response. Hearing nothing, she finally cracked open one eye nervously. Her mother was smiling.
Smiling? Hermione though in shock, opening both eyes widely. "Mum?"
Her mother just shook her head. "Well, I have to say, you can certainly pick them, Hermione." At her daughter's wide-eyed look, she chuckled. "Oh, come on now, honey. You know I get the Daily Prophet – I like to feel connected to your world, and that's really the only way since my own daughter hardly ever writes." Hermione rolled her eyes, and her mother continued, "Well, anyhow – he is a sexy devil."
Hermione couldn't believe it. "What? Mum!" she exclaimed in a shocked voice.
Her mother laughed. "Oh, Hermione, I have eyes. Just because I'm married to your father doesn't mean I can't appreciate a nice view, you know." Shaking her head at her daughter's incredulous stare, she said, "From what I've read about him, he was very brave. A spy, wasn't he? Hmm. I do remember reading a bit about his past, though, Hermione… are you sure-"
"Mum, his past is his past. Nothing can change that. He joined with Dumbledore before I was even born, and spied for the Light at great risk to himself."
Her mother nodded, slightly worried. "I know, honey, I read the articles." Suddenly her eyes narrowed. "He was your Potions Master, wasn't he? How old is he?"
Hermione gritted her teeth, knowing what was coming. "He's younger than Dad, if that's what you're worried about."
"Don't get smart with me, young lady! Now, how old is this man of yours?"
Hermione muttered something under her breath. Her mother raised an eyebrow in an expression she remembered well from her youth. Sighing audibly, she repeated, "Nineteen years older than me."
"I see." Her mother's face had tightened once again.
Exasperated, Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Mum, look – you have to stop thinking like a Muggle. Witches and wizards live a lot longer than a Muggle, so the age difference isn't even worth mentioning! Severus is still considered a young man. Albus is over 150 years old, and definitely still kicking! In the wizarding world, a nineteen year difference is like… like a five year difference in the Muggle world. Not a big deal at all. Viktor's parents were almost thirty years apart!"
Her mother shook her head. "It's not just physical age, it's mental age I'm worried about. This man of yours has been through a lot, has dealt with a lot of darkness in his life. That can age a person past their years." Hermione looked thoughtful. Her mother added, in a gentle voice, "I understand, honey… in my head. I'm sorry – it's just hard for me to change a whole lifetime's worth of ideas. I guess the important thing is that you love him, and he loves you, am I right?" Hermione nodded. "Did he pressure you to leave Viktor?" Hermione shook her head. Her mother sighed. "You know how I feel about divorce, Hermione. But you have to live your own life, I suppose. Does he treat you well?" Hermione nodded. "I love you, honey," her mother said, enfolding her in her arms.
"I love you, too, Mum."
* * * * * *
By the time she arrived at Hogwarts it was just past lunchtime and the Great Hall was empty. Taking a deep breath, she decided to visit the Headmaster before venturing into the dungeons.
"Hello, my dear. How is everything?" Albus asked as she sat in the chair opposite his desk. "Lemon drop?" She smiled and shook her head.
"No, thank you, Albus. I had a… I needed to ask you something," she said. He gestured for her to continue. Taking a breath, she said, "I have found myself in an unexpected… well, maybe not entirely unexpected… situation. Would it be okay if I used the guest rooms here for the next few weeks, until I find other arrangements?"
Albus sat back. "Hermione, the guest rooms are yours to use as long as you need them." Looking at her over steepled fingers, he said, "I am assuming that I should address you as Miss Granger once more?"
She was surprised, but not shocked. "Albus, does anything ever happen that you're not aware of?"
Albus laughed. "Well, I seem to remember an incident about seven years ago… I didn't realize what was occurring until the situation appeared to be well underway." She blushed, and he continued seriously, "Hermione, I regret what had to happen back then. And I greatly regret not informing you of Miss Tonks' plan."
Hermione averted her face, staring at the fire. "It would have spared a lot of heartache, had I known."
"I do apologize, once again. We had no idea that you would find out, and if you can pardon an old man his whimsy… I felt that it would be better if you didn't know. I must admit I was wrong," Albus said with a sincere note of apology in his voice.
Hermione turned back to meet his gaze. "I understand, Albus. And… thank you for the use of the rooms. I'm sure I'll find alternate arrangements as soon as possible." With that, she rose and left the room, her cat trailing behind.
The Headmaster's eyes twinkled. "I'm sure you will, Miss Granger. I'm sure you will."
* * * * * *
Hermione walked to the dungeons slowly, Crookshanks on her heels. She could hear his purring as he took in the familiar surroundings. When they passed the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower, she laughed out loud when he stopped and looked at her quizzically. "We're staying in the dungeons this time, Crooks. Come on, baby," she said, scooping him up and nuzzling her face in his fur.
Her steps quickened as she made her way to the lab. When she reached the open doorway, she stopped abruptly. She could see Severus standing, with his back to her, stirring a cauldron. The sight of him brought everything crashing back, and she felt her eyes suddenly fill with tears. Not wanting to subject him to a display of emotion, she continued on to the guest rooms Albus had prepared for her use.
Entering the room, she let Crookshanks down and watched as he explored the room. She quickly unpacked the belongings she had brought and then collapsed on the chair beside the fire. A wave of grief washed over her, and she allowed the tears to fall in the privacy of her room. Burying her face in her hands, she curled up on the chair, shaking.
Suddenly, she felt a hand on her arm. "Hermione," a low, gentle voice said. She looked up, startled, and saw Severus. "You forgot to lock the door." Touching her cheek with a finger, he gently wiped a tear away. "Are you all right?"
A wave of longing hit her, and she jumped up from the chair and flung her arms around him desperately. He stroked her hair until she calmed down, then handed her a handkerchief and drew her to sit with him on the couch.
She gave a short laugh. "Even your handkerchiefs are black?" He smirked in response, and she laughed again – longer this time. "You're very cute when you smirk." He scowled at that, as she knew he would. Taking a deep breath, she stated, "Well, I did it. I'm officially divorced."
"I know."
"Oh – did Susan tell you in her note?" He shook his head. "Then – how did you know?"
He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I spoke with your husband last night."
"What? When? How?" Hermione stammered.
"At the Leaky Cauldron. It was an… interesting conversation. Not what I expected." He told her about the confrontation with Viktor the previous night. "He told me to take care of you, to make sure that you're happy." Severus smirked. "It was one of the few times my life has been threatened and I didn't mind." He paused for a moment, then continued, "He's a good man. You were right."
"I know. I felt so horrible, his face was so… I don't know how to describe it." She closed her eyes against the image.
She felt a hand stroking her hair once again, and gentle lips on hers. In a soft voice, Severus said, "Since I don't desire to have an angry Bulgarian after me… especially one who studied under Karkaroff… Are you happy?"
Smiling, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her tightly. "I am now."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks for all of the reviews!
Shem – I'm glad you liked the last chapter – not the most fun chappie to write but it had to be done ;). I did like writing the conversation between Viktor and Sev, just not the one with Vik and Hermione…
Michelline – Thanks! Next chapter will be more Herm/Sev – she had to get some things in order before going back to Hogwarts.
Rilla – Thank you – I'm glad you thought it was realistic, and sorry that you were in the same type of situation… I was, too, actually – many moons ago, but I still remember how guilty I felt.
Kazfeist – Very very glad that you think they're in character! Am trying most desperately to keep them that way…
Deb – Thanks! I really liked the Viktor/Severus conversation, too. Poor Viktor.
Anarane – Thanks!
Trish – Thanks! Well, sorry to make you cry, but I'm glad you got that into it :). This chapter is a little less sad… we will visit Viktor again next chapter (or the one after) but for now I'm working on healing Hermione.
Electryone – Thanks for the review – glad you liked how Viktor acted… it would've been too easy on Hermione if he'd gone off the handle and was angry… then she could be defensive. So – now she just feels guilty… but it was what had to happen.
Louise – Thanks! Glad you liked it
Maddy-Riddle – Thank you – I was very much trying to avoid the soap opera type dialogue, glad you think I was successful!
Kat – Yeah, I thought hurt would be a more realistic reaction. Viktor had overnight to get the anger out of his system, thanks to Harry.
Keket – Thank you – Viktor was ready to make more of a fuss, but then he had the conversation with Severus… and well, the rest is history. I'm glad that you appreciated the more subtle tension. Thanks!
Raclswt – Thank you – more Herm/Sev action soon, promise!
Indie Fairy – Thanks – it was also my favorite part of last chapter!
Killer Angel – Thank you!
PinkChubbyMonkey – Thanks!
Jen – Thank you for the review! And, to answer your question – read and find out :)
Kittykat – Thank you! I try to update quickly – we're at a lull time at work right now so I can pound out chapters quicker than I expected to when I started this fic. Glad you're enjoying it!
Angelina – Thanks for the review, and I hope this wasn't too long of a wait :). Your review cracked me up!
AnnabelleElizabeth – Thank you – Sev is still #1, but I've come to like this Viktor so much that I'm gonna take care of him, too… eventually ;)