Zidane grinning, kind of evilly): "Rusty Mr. Steiner."

Rinoa (still pouting): "Quistis."

Cloud: "Steiner."

Quistis: "Rinoa."

Steiner (deeply frowning): "Monkey boy Zidane."

Irvine: "Steiner."

Rikku (glaring at Irvine): "Irvine."

Barret: "Steiner."

Lulu: "Steiner."

[sound and lighting effects.]

Steiner: "What! This isn't fair!"

Anne Robinson: "I think it's perfectly fair, Steiner. Tell me again how many questions you answered correctly in that round."

Steiner: "Maybe not as many as most other people,"

Anne Robinson: "You were the only person to answer all of his or her questions wrong, Steiner. In fact, you didn't even try to answer them correctly."

Steiner (slightly more subdued): "Well, maybe not, but-"

Anne Robinson: "No buts, Steiner." (turns to face Irvine) "Irvine."

Irvine (still grinning): "Annie."

Anne Robinson: "Don't call me Annie, Irvine."

Irvine (not grinning any more): "Sorry, Anne."

Anne Robinson: "Did you know before coming on that you're not supposed to help your fellow contestants with their questions?"

Irvine (turning on the charm): "Oh, come on, I couldn't ignore a damsel in distress!"

Anne Robinson: "So you decided to be her knight in shining armour?"

Irvine (grinning again): "That's right!"

Anne Robinson: "Or, in your case, sniper in silly cowboy hat."

Irvine: "Hey, I like this hat!"

Anne Robinson: "Well, you're certainly in a minority there." (turns to face Rinoa) "Rinoa, why Quistis?"

Rinoa: "I felt she was out of order, saying what she did at the start."

Anne Robinson: "So you're completely ignoring the fact that she answered both her questions correctly AND banked money for the team?"

Rinoa: "In my opinion, she banked too early."

Anne Robinson (sarcastic): "Oh come on! As if Steiner would've known how to bank!"

Steiner (irritated): "Hey, just a sec-"

Anne Robinson (turning to face Steiner, and cutting him off): "Steiner! Your sword may be large, but your brain is not! You are the weakest link- goodbye!"

[...and Steiner takes the walk of shame]

[Backstage]

Steiner (livid): "How dare she speak to me in that voice! I am leader of the Pluto Knights! Just because I don't know two irrelevant questions she treats me like some form of imbecile!" (Reality check, Steiner :-P -Neb) "I want to see Zidane go next, that monkey boy could use taking down a peg or two."

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Round two, and we're down to eight players, with ten seconds coming off the clock. We'll start with the strongest link from the previous round." (mock surprise) "That's Barret!"

Barret (pleased with himself): "Hey!"

Anne Robinson: "Let's play- The Weakest Link!"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Start the clock."

[more effects]

Anne Robinson: "Barret, which element links Ramuh, Quetzacotl and Ixion?"

Barret (thinking hard again. He'll give himself premature wrinkles it he's not careful): "Umm... lightning!"

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Lulu, when breeding chocobos, what do you use, seeds or nuts?"

Lulu: "Nuts."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Zidane, which colour of materia is used when summoning monsters?"

Zidane (really thinking): "Ah, erm, red?"

Anne Robinson: "Correct."

Zidane (really pleased for himself): "Yes!"

Anne Robinson: "Rinoa, the Quen are famous for having long what? Fingers or tongues?"

Rinoa: "Fingers."

Anne Robinson: "No, tongues." (Rinoa sulks and pouts again.) "Cloud, what name is given to the event when hordes of monsters descend from the Moon?"

Cloud: "The Lunar Cry."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Quistis, in which sector of the Midgar slums is the Wall Market?"

Quistis: "6."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, what name is given to the region in Spira where spirits of the dead gather?"

Irvine (still grinning over at Rikku): "The Farplane."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku,"

Rikku (squirming a little under Irvine's stare): "Bank!"

Anne Robinson: "What is the name given to the magic spell that gradually restores health?"

Rikku: "Regen."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Barret, what magic spell do Ronso use to learn blue magic?"

Barret (really straining his mind): "Nope, not a damn clue."

Anne Robinson (condescendingly): "Lancet, Barret." (Normally) "Lulu, lightning, ice, earth and which other element makes up the Kjata summon?"

Lulu: "Fire."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Zidane, where would you find a fayth? In a temple or underwater?"

Zidane (confused); "Underwater?"

Anne Robinson (condescendingly): "In a temple, dear."

Zidane (irritated): "Damn!"

Anne Robinson: "Rinoa, what are the leaders of Yevon known as? Maesters or Maestros?"

Rinoa (thinking it over): "Um, maesters?"

Anne Robinson (fake surprise): "Correct!"

[Rinoa starts to look extremely pleased with herself, and sticks her tongue out at Quistis]

Anne Robinson: "Cloud, how many professional blitzball teams are there in Spira?"

Cloud (struggling. He doesn't know this): "Um, eight?"

Anne Robinson (condescendingly): "No dear, six."

[Cloud doesn't look too fussed about getting it wrong]

Anne Robisnon: "Quistis, an Aurora Armlet absorbs which magical element?"

Quistis: "Ice."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, what types of spheres do you need to use to learn new magical attacks?"

Irvine (winking at Rikku): "Ability spheres."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku,"

Rikku (still squirming): "Bank!"

Anne Robinson: "Which summoned monster traditionally attacks with Diamond Dust?"

Rikku: "Shiva!"

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Barret,"

Barret: "Bank!"

Anne Robinson: "What is the name of the magic spell that is used to poison someone? Bio or buy-out?"

Barret: "Bio!"

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Zidane-"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Time is up, I cannot complete the question, and in that round you actually got worse! A pathetic 850 gil. Whose brain is more monkey than human? Whose hairstyle has corrupted their mind? It's time to vote off the Weakest Link!"

[light and sound effects]

Narrator: "Statistically, Rikku is this round's strongest link, as she banked the most money for the team. Rinoa is the weakest player, as she lost the team the most money. But who will the team want to get rid of?"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Voting is over, it's time to see who you voted the Weakest Link!"

[light and sound effects]