Zidane: "Cloud."

Rinoa (still sticking her tongue out at Quistis): "Quistis."

Cloud: "Zidane."

Quistis: "Rinoa."

Irvine: "Zidane."

Rikku: "Zidane."

Barret: "Zidane."

Lulu: "Rinoa."

[sound and lighing effects]

Zidane (looking really disappointed); "Aw, man..."

Anne Robinson: "Rikku."

Rikku (looking a bit unsure of herself): "Anne."

Anne Robinson: "Aren't you feeling a little cold, dear, seeing as you're only wearing a bra and a miniskirt?"

Rikku (embarrassed): "At least I've got the body for it, Anne."

Audience (shocked): "Oooooohhh!!!"

Anne Robinson (her face not cracking one bit, thanks to the miracle of botox): "Why Zidane?"

Rikku: "He just looked like he was struggling all game."

Anne Robinson: "Whereas you just looked like you were shivering."

[Rikku looks ever so slightly offended.]

Rikku (whispering): "Big meanie..."

Anne Robinson: "Rinoa, who also looks a little chilly."

Rinoa (smirking): "Anne."

Anne Robinson: "Are you aware you were the worst player in that round?"

Rinoa (now doing a frowny pout): "I was not!"

Anne Robinson: "Yes you were! And yet you persist in voting for someone who hasn't actually answered a question wrong yet!"

Rinoa (HUGE pout): "I still say she's out of order!"

Anne Robinson: "Well, statistically you may have been the worst player, but it's the votes that count. Zidane- your tale has come to an end! You are the Weakest Link! Goodbye!"

[...and Zidane takes the walk of shame.]

[Backstage]

Zidane: "I can't believe that! I wasn't even the worst player that round! I want to see Irvine go off next, the way he was sleazing over Rikku was just disgusting. Anyone with half a brain can see that she's hot for me, not him."

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Round 3, we're now down to seven players, and another ten seconds is coming off the clock. We'll start with the strongest player from the last round- That's the woman who can't feel the cold!"

[Rikku looks a little ticked off about being described this way]

Anne Robinson: "Let's play the weakest link!"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Start the clock."

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Rikku, if blue chocobos can cross rivers, which colour can cross mountains?"

Rikku: "Green."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Barret, what is the name of the hometown of the Guado?"

Barret (not a clue): "Umm, Guadoville?"

Anne Robinson: "No dear, Guadosalam." [Barret looks irritated] "Lulu, what are mages who use both black and white magic called?"

Lulu: "Red mages."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rinoa, which airship shares its name with a limit break?"

Rinoa (grinning smugly): "Highwind."

Anne Robinson (feigning surprise): "Correct!"

[It's too much- Rinoa starts pouting again]

Anne Robinson: "Cloud, what was the name of the green-skinned queen of Alexandria?"

Cloud: "Brahne."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Quistis, the arcade game "Mog House" features which type of creature?"

Quistis: "Moogles."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine,"

Irvine: "Bank!"

Anne Robinson: "By how much would a mastered HP plus materia increase your HP?"

Irvine (coolly, still trying to flirt with Rikku): "By half again."

Anne Robinson: "I'll accept, 50%. Rikku, what is the surname of sorceress Edea?"

Rikku (thinking about it): "Hmm, that's a toughie..."

[Irvine leans in closer to Rikku]

Anne Robinson: "Irvine, remain exactly where you are!"

[the audience laugh as Irvine frowns.]

Rikku (vexed): "No, I just don't know it!"

Anne Robinson (condescendingly): "Kramer!" (normally) "Barret, against which element of magic would the spell nultide protect?"

Rinoa (struggling a little): "Umm, Water?"

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Lulu, which word follows Neo and precedes ZERO in the name of summoned monsters?"

Lulu: "Bahamut."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rinoa, how many jockeys traditionally compete in a chocobo race in the gold saucer?"

Rinoa (still pouting): "Eight."

Anne Robinson (smug condescension): "No dear, six."

[Rinoa pouts yet more]

Anne Robinson: "Cloud, what ailment would an echo screen typically cure?"

Cloud: "Silence."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Quistis, if you have a W-summon, item or magic materia, how many times does it let you use said spells?"

Quistis: "Twice."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, which spell on the sphere grid allows you to use magic twice?"

Irvine (tipping his hat at Rikku): "Doublecast, Anne."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku-"

Rikku (STILL squirming, trying to ignore Irvine): "Bank!"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Time's up, your bank was just in time, and you improved in that round, team! However, your total of 1250 gil is still far, far below the standard you should be setting. Who's all brawn and no brain? Who's suffering not so much from silence as from stupidity? It's time to vote off the weakest link!"

[light and sound effects]

Narrator: "Statistically, Irvine is the strongest link, as he banked the most money for the team. For the second round in a row, Rinoa is the weakest link. But who will lose out in the vote?"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Time's up! It's time to see who you voted as the weakest link!"

[light and sound effects]