Cloud: "Barret."

Quistis: "Barret."

Irvine: "Barret."

Rikku: "Barret."

Barret (sighing): "Rikku..."

Lulu: "Barret."

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Cloud."

Cloud (stoical): "Anne."

Anne Robinson: "How much time do you spend on your hair each morning?"

Cloud (annoyed at the question): "Why?"

Audience (shocked): "Ooooooohhh!!"

Anne Robinson: "I was just wondering, is it naturally that stupid or do you have to work at it?"

Cloud (slightly offended): "What d'you mean, stupid?"

Anne Robinson: "I mean stupid, as in someone's stuck a traffic cone on your head!"

[Cloud simply frowns while the audience laugh]

Anne Robinson: "Why Barret?"

Cloud: "He's been struggling for a while now, I thought it'd be best if he went."

Barret (a little shocked and hurt): "Hey!"

Anne Robinson: "Did you think he was the worst player in that round?"

Cloud: "Yes."

Anne Robinson: "Except he wasn't, was he, Cloud?"

Cloud (defiantly): "Well who was then?"

Anne Robinson (raising screech even higher): "You were!"

[Cloud pulls a frown]

Anne Robinson: "However, it's the votes that count. Barret! With five votes, you are the weakest link! Goodbye!"

[...and Barret takes the walk of shame]

[backstage]

Barret: "I can't believe that little punk-ass Cloud! He's the worst in that game and he votes ME off? What the *$@# ever happened to loyalty?"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Round 5, and out of a possible 20 000 gil, you've banked a puny 4200 gil. Another ten seconds come off the clock in this round, and we'll start with the strongest link from the previous round. That was Quistis!"

[Quistis smiles, somewhat smugly. You can almost hear Rinoa pouting backstage]

Anne Robinson: "Let's play- the weakest link!"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Start the Clock."

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Quistis, how many spells are there on the contain materia?"

Quistis: "Four."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, in Spira, where are chocobo training lessons held?"

Irvine (still not taking the hint from Rikku and flirting with her something rotten): "The Calm Lands, Anne."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku, what do the summoners of Madain Sari have in common with the Ronso?"

Rikku: "Horns, something they also have in common with Irvine right now."

Anne Robinson (narrowing her eyes at Rikku): "Correct. Lulu, what colour materia was housed in the temple of the ancients?"

Lulu: "Black."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Cloud, what is the name of the mountain where the Ronso live?"

Cloud: "Bevelle."

Anne Robinson (smug sarcasm): "No dear, Gagazet."

[Cloud shrugs- he really couldn't give a toss either way]

Anne Robinson: "Quistis, which item would kill an undead zombie outright if used on it? An ether or a phoenix down?"

Quistis: "A phoenix down."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, what is the name of the Al Bhed blitzball team?"

Irvine (now really cheesily grinning at Rikku): "The Psyches, Annie."

Anne Robinson (uber-stern): "Correct, but don't call me Annie!" (normally) "Rikku, excluding the station, how many attractions are there at the gold saucer?"

Rikku (thinking heard): "Ss... eight!"

Anne Robinson (condescendingly): "No, seven!"

Rikku (vexed): "Darn it!"

Anne Robinson: "Lulu, what do Edea, Adel and Ultimecia all have in common? They're all sorceresses or they're all airships?"

Lulu: "They're all sorceresses."

Anne Robinson: "Correct." (Anne Sighs) "Cloud, complete the following trio: Laguna, Kiros and-?"

Cloud (ignoring Anne's sarcastic sigh): "Ward."

Anne Robinson (mock surprise): "Correct!" ("normal") "Quistis, what is the name of the mayor of Midgar?"

Quistis: "Domino."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, on which floor of the Shin-ra building is the president's office?"

Irvine: "Floor 70, Anne."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku,"

Rikku: "Bank!"

Anne Robinson: "Of which race was NORG a member?"

Rikku (no clue whatsoever): "Umm... moogle?"

Anne Robinson: "Shumi, dear. Lulu, Lucrecia was the mother of which ex-SOLDIER?"

Lulu: "Sephiroth."

Anne Robinson: "Correct. Cloud-"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Time's up, and that was your worst effort yet. A piffling, pathetic 750 gil! Who has less brains than they do clothes? Whose libido is interfering with their game? It's time to vote off the weakest link!"

[light and sound effects]

Narrator: "For the second round in a row, Quistis is statistically the strongest link. Rikku is the weakest link, although she was the only one to bank money for the team. Will this be enough to save her?"

[light and sound effects]

Anne Robinson: "Voting is over! It's time to see who you voted as the weakest link!"

[light and sound effects]