AN: Okay, first of all, sorry for neglecting this story for what seems like forever. But guess what? I've been writing it all without posting and it's nearly finished! But… It isn't the same story as I began. You see, I began wanting to explore some different character dynamics, and as a result, changed my story considerably. I've been posting it on my website, which you can check out, and now I'll post the first chapter here. This begins after Rebel Stand.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of it's characters. Property of LFL, Del Rey and George Lucas. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter One: Late Night Reflection

Jagged Fel expected sleep to come easily, quickly and uncalled for. From his feet to his painfully throbbing head he was exhausted, sore and stiff. All his effort had gone into that last desperate, ingenious battle for Borleias and he wished fervently for sleep.... deep, blissful, uninterrupted sleep.

The only thing was, he couldn't.

No matter how hard he tried, the matter kept coming back to him and would not let him rest.

The problem, of course, was duty versus love. He was beginning to suspect that he loved Jaina Solo. It wasn't something he'd just decided, though he was well-used to making decisions, but rather a feeling, an epiphany that had crept up on him. As is often the case with unexpected surprises, he was just finding it hard to adjust.

The feeling would have been wonderful, save for one thing, his duty.

Responsibility was a fickle thing, it could grant one freedom and make one a slave. Jag knew he had to go back to the Unknown Regions. His father had allowed him and Shawnkyr to leave Csilla so that they could scout out the enemy. They'd been gone for a month now, which was more than enough time to make ample observations and Shawnkyr was beginning to see through his excuses for remaining with the New Republic.

Basically, it was time to make a choice. He would make neither parties happy by sitting on the fence.

So, his practical mind told him, he should leave immediately and return to his command and obligations in the Chiss Space.

But Jaina...

It felt like his soul was being torn in two.

Jag gave a wry smile. The phrase was poetic, so unlike him.

But, the great philosophers say, at the touch of love, everyone is a poet.

Jag went over in his head again exactly what had happened with him and Jaina in the past few encounters. First, he had nearly died. There was something to write up in ship's log, nearly dying.

And contrary to popular belief, his life did not flash before his eyes.

More important was what had happened after, the confrontation, the interrogation, the confession, the embrace, and then... the kiss.

He analyzed each from different angles. Did he really promise her that he wouldn't leave? Leaving was her euphemism for dying, a word that had been hard enough to choke out in her disintegrating emotional state. She knew her brothers were dead, she didn't have to make things harder on herself by acknowledging it aloud.

So I said I wouldn't die on her. Am I insane? I could die any second out there in this war.

Then there was this whole "promise" idea. The word "promise" had never crossed his lips. There had simply been, "I won't leave you."

But whether or not he had promised Jaina he would stay made little difference, because the fact was he wanted to stay. He needed to stay. He couldn't stand to leave her in this state of loneliness and despair. He needed her. He'd never needed anyone the way he did her and the feeling scared the hell out of him.

A knock at the door startled him, prompting him from his fitful sprawl to a dizzy sitting position. Was that Jaina? He really didn't want to see her for fear she would figure out something was wrong, but there was no way to hide from a Jedi. He got up wearily and opened the door.

She stood haloed by the hallway lights, a tired but glad smile on her face and her hands folded neatly behind her back.

"The Goddess wishes to consult with you on a matter of strategic importance," she announced grandly.

Inwardly, he smiled, but in appearance, he only raised an eyebrow and stepped away from the door, making an "after-you" gesture.

"Jaina," he began when the door was closed, before she could kiss him or say anything that would make him lose his nerve, "There's something we need to talk about."
Jaina looked surprised. He took her hand and pulled her down to sit beside him on the bed.

"What is it Jag?" she asked apprehensively.

He took a quick moment to collect his thoughts before answering.

"I have to leave Jaina. I'm under orders to return to the Unknown Regions when my mission is accomplished. I've delayed it as long as I can, but now I'm out of excuses."
Jaina's eyes didn't leave his face, but everything in her manner told him she'd been expecting this, had been dreading it. She didn't say anything, so he continued.

"But I want to stay with you Jaina, more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. So perhaps there's a way to achieve both."

Jaina's sadness was replaced by an intense curiosity. Her eyes flared in interest.

"How?"

Jag took a deep breath.

"Come with me."