Cloud: "Rikku."
Quistis: "Rikku."
Irvine: "Cloud."
Rikku: "Irvine."
Lulu: "Cloud."
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "We have a tie, ladies and gentlemen! Cone-haired Cloud and Rikku, who can't feel the cold, both on two votes! Irvine, why Cloud?"
Irvine: "I just felt he's been struggling for a while now, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you want Rikku to stay so you can chat her up more, does it? Only she doesn't seem to want you to stay very much, do you, Rikku?"
Rikku: "No, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "Getting a little fed up of Irvine's attention, are you?"
Rikku: "Yes, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "Aren't we all?"
[the audience laughs while Irvine looks humiliated.]
Anne Robinson: "Quistis, you're a teacher, right?"
Quistis: "Yes, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "And do your students take you seriously when you go around with your navel on show to the world?"
Quistis (frowning slightly): "I have a special uniform I wear when I'm teaching."
Anne Robinson: "Oh, so in your academy, the teachers wear school uniform as well as the pupils?"
Quistis (frowning still): "It's not school uniform that we wear."
Anne Robinson: "Why Rikku?"
Quistis: "She got two questions wrong, and she's been struggling for some time now."
Anne Robinson: "I see. When the vote is tied, the strongest link must cast the deciding vote. That was you, Quistis, so do you want to stick to your original vote of Rikku, or do you want to get rid of Cloud?"
Quistis (thinking it over): "On second thoughts, Anne, I think I'll get rid of Cloud, at least Rikku's actually trying."
Anne Robinson: "Which you certainly can't accuse Cloud of! Cloud, the team has spoken! You are the weakest link- Goodbye!"
[...and Cloud takes the walk of shame]
[backstage]
[Cloud simply shrugs.]
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Round 6, and out of a possible 25 000 gil, you have banked a miserable, shameful forty-nine hundred and fifty. There are four of you left, and another ten seconds are coming off the clock. We'll start with the strongest link from the last round- that was Quistis. Let's play- the weakest link!"
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Start the clock."
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Quistis, what item do you need to be able to use celestial weapons?"
Quistis: "The celestial mirror."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, what do the 8 reactors in Midgar use for fuel?"
Irvine (STILL incapable of leaving Rikku alone): "Mako, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku, the Great Salt lake acts as a hidden gateway into which nation?"
Rikku (now desperately trying to avoid Irvine's gaze): "Erm, Esthar?"
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Lulu, which yellow materia is used to control monsters?"
Lulu: "Manipulate."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Quistis, which of the following is not a summoned monster? An Eidolon or a Hyper?"
Quistis: "A hyper."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, what is the term for the dance summoners perform to escort the dead to the farplane?"
Irvine (still grinning at Rikku): "A sending."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku,"
Rikku (starting to squirm again): "Bank!"
Anne Robinson: "What is the term for a potion that restores an entire party's HP and either cures them of all abnormal statuses or fully restores MP?"
Rikku: "A megalixir."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Lulu, how many g-bike games are there in the wonder square arcade?"
Lulu: "Three."
Anne Robinson (condescendingly): "Two!"
[Lulu gives Anne the most evil stare in recorded history.]
Anne Robinson: "Quistis, which tentacled monster traditionally attacks with "Bad Breath"?"
Quistis: "A Marlboro."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, which is the final spell on the barrier materia that casts barrier and Mbarrier simultaneously?"
Irvine: "Wall!"
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku, what is the name of the town in the middle of the rail link between Galbaldia and Esthar?"
Rikku: "Dollet?"
Anne Robinson: "No, Fisherman's Horizon. Lulu, in which town was the Sister Ray originally located?"
Lulu: "Junon."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Quistis,"
Quistis: "Bank!"
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Time's up, and in that round there was a definite improvement! 1600 gil! It's still not even a third of what you could have banked, but it's still an improvement. Now you must ask yourself, who's itching to leave? Which cowboy is ready to ride off into the sunset? It's time to vote off the weakest link!"
[light and sound effects]
Narrator: "For the third round in succession, Quistis is the strongest link. Statistically, Lulu is the weakest link, but will the votes reflect the statistics?"
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Time's up! It's time to see who you voted as the weakest link!"
[light and sound effects]
Quistis: "Rikku."
Irvine: "Cloud."
Rikku: "Irvine."
Lulu: "Cloud."
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "We have a tie, ladies and gentlemen! Cone-haired Cloud and Rikku, who can't feel the cold, both on two votes! Irvine, why Cloud?"
Irvine: "I just felt he's been struggling for a while now, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you want Rikku to stay so you can chat her up more, does it? Only she doesn't seem to want you to stay very much, do you, Rikku?"
Rikku: "No, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "Getting a little fed up of Irvine's attention, are you?"
Rikku: "Yes, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "Aren't we all?"
[the audience laughs while Irvine looks humiliated.]
Anne Robinson: "Quistis, you're a teacher, right?"
Quistis: "Yes, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "And do your students take you seriously when you go around with your navel on show to the world?"
Quistis (frowning slightly): "I have a special uniform I wear when I'm teaching."
Anne Robinson: "Oh, so in your academy, the teachers wear school uniform as well as the pupils?"
Quistis (frowning still): "It's not school uniform that we wear."
Anne Robinson: "Why Rikku?"
Quistis: "She got two questions wrong, and she's been struggling for some time now."
Anne Robinson: "I see. When the vote is tied, the strongest link must cast the deciding vote. That was you, Quistis, so do you want to stick to your original vote of Rikku, or do you want to get rid of Cloud?"
Quistis (thinking it over): "On second thoughts, Anne, I think I'll get rid of Cloud, at least Rikku's actually trying."
Anne Robinson: "Which you certainly can't accuse Cloud of! Cloud, the team has spoken! You are the weakest link- Goodbye!"
[...and Cloud takes the walk of shame]
[backstage]
[Cloud simply shrugs.]
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Round 6, and out of a possible 25 000 gil, you have banked a miserable, shameful forty-nine hundred and fifty. There are four of you left, and another ten seconds are coming off the clock. We'll start with the strongest link from the last round- that was Quistis. Let's play- the weakest link!"
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Start the clock."
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Quistis, what item do you need to be able to use celestial weapons?"
Quistis: "The celestial mirror."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, what do the 8 reactors in Midgar use for fuel?"
Irvine (STILL incapable of leaving Rikku alone): "Mako, Anne."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku, the Great Salt lake acts as a hidden gateway into which nation?"
Rikku (now desperately trying to avoid Irvine's gaze): "Erm, Esthar?"
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Lulu, which yellow materia is used to control monsters?"
Lulu: "Manipulate."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Quistis, which of the following is not a summoned monster? An Eidolon or a Hyper?"
Quistis: "A hyper."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, what is the term for the dance summoners perform to escort the dead to the farplane?"
Irvine (still grinning at Rikku): "A sending."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku,"
Rikku (starting to squirm again): "Bank!"
Anne Robinson: "What is the term for a potion that restores an entire party's HP and either cures them of all abnormal statuses or fully restores MP?"
Rikku: "A megalixir."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Lulu, how many g-bike games are there in the wonder square arcade?"
Lulu: "Three."
Anne Robinson (condescendingly): "Two!"
[Lulu gives Anne the most evil stare in recorded history.]
Anne Robinson: "Quistis, which tentacled monster traditionally attacks with "Bad Breath"?"
Quistis: "A Marlboro."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Irvine, which is the final spell on the barrier materia that casts barrier and Mbarrier simultaneously?"
Irvine: "Wall!"
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Rikku, what is the name of the town in the middle of the rail link between Galbaldia and Esthar?"
Rikku: "Dollet?"
Anne Robinson: "No, Fisherman's Horizon. Lulu, in which town was the Sister Ray originally located?"
Lulu: "Junon."
Anne Robinson: "Correct. Quistis,"
Quistis: "Bank!"
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Time's up, and in that round there was a definite improvement! 1600 gil! It's still not even a third of what you could have banked, but it's still an improvement. Now you must ask yourself, who's itching to leave? Which cowboy is ready to ride off into the sunset? It's time to vote off the weakest link!"
[light and sound effects]
Narrator: "For the third round in succession, Quistis is the strongest link. Statistically, Lulu is the weakest link, but will the votes reflect the statistics?"
[light and sound effects]
Anne Robinson: "Time's up! It's time to see who you voted as the weakest link!"
[light and sound effects]