A/N: Okay, this is a really long one so I won't take up too much of your time up here. All I'm going to say is that I'm sorry it took so long to update. I feel really very bad cause you all were so wonderful about reviewing the last chapter. As it turns out, Puck inspired me relatively quickly with what to write. Unfortunately, he was going all over the place, and all I could do was just write it all out as it came to me, but when I went back to looking at it, I had a jumbled mess of emotions and sometimes half-sentences and unfinished thoughts. I had to go back and organize it and that took me some time to get around to! So, gomen! Really! And thank you all for still being interested.
Oh, yeah, biggest thing I noticed by your reviews was that most of you wanted to know about the conversation Sesshoumaru made reference to in the last chapter. That wasn't something I planned when I planned the ending of the story, so I'm sorry to say I don't have a place for it in these last few chapters. However, I am planning on doing an Epilogue, because I realized how I had written myself into that corner and I needed to do one to clear up that question. Which means that if, by the time you've finished reading this chapter, there's still some questions you don't think have been answered, then either email me or review and I'll see if I can put them in the Epilogue or if I should edit a chapter and put it there.
Oh, one more thing…Shippou actually speaks in this chapter…*Puck scoffs.* "If you can call that speaking…little runt." *Emania frowns.* I think Puck gets annoyed with Shippou which is why he's inspired me to put him off to the side…hmm…
Disclaimer / Rating: No space for a witty remark. Not mine. Chapter's not dirty, lemony, or ill spoken. Is kinda angsty, but then again…this is me, we're talking about, right?
Thanks: EEEP! Oh, wow! I know I've gotten over 40 reviews for this past chapter, but I've lost count! I can't believe it! You all are sooo incredibly amazing! I am as we speak, at the 400 mark. FOUR HUNDRED REVIEWS! Agent Scully was the one to put me there and she got some very special prizes for doing so! All the rest of you get oodles and oodles of candy for reviewing and bringing me closer to the mark and for being so wonderful about soothing my fears about Sesshoumaru's voice and the ever present OOC-ness! I'm grinning like an idiot and I'm soo grateful, I can't even describe it! Thank you!
Oh, and the last few people to add me to the favorite author list were Ravioli, eX Driver Liz, and Bruka-Chan. I've already gushed about how much that means to me, but thank you all of you for adding me! You're soo wonderful! ^____^
Oh, and special thanks go out to AgentScully not only for being my 400th reviewer, but for all the time she spent to do a thorough critique of my last chapter. That'll be making me go back and edit the chapter a little. Both she and Sukuri pointed out slight things about Sesshoumaru that I didn't mention and which would make the chapter stronger.
Also, there's special thanks to LilacRose for taking time out of her busy schedule and from writing her incredibly wonderful story Through the Ancient Well to do some Beta-ing for me. I caught her on AIM and bugged her, so I feel a little more sure of this chapter, but you know me, still worried! ^_^
You're all wonderful and may the sun always shine on you, the moon light your path and the may the forces of evil get lost on the way to your house. *grin*
Sukuri: Thanks for, 1-trying to review so quickly after I had posted and 2-taking the time to let me know that there was a problem with the posting of the chapter! *whew* Glad I managed to fix it, even if I don't know what I did, exactly! *grin*
*giggles* Wow, thanks! Your review sent Puck hiding and gave me a good few hours of peace! *grins widely* Thanks! Even though he eventually came back out, I think maybe it was your review that got him to inspire me so much that he just overwhelmed me. Sorry that it still didn't make me update quicker, but this time, I promise it wasn't his fault for lack of inspiration…it's just, he inspired me with too much stuff and I had to just sort of let it all come out and then sort it out.
Oh, and I'm so honored that you were so good as to make sure you reviewed even when your computer was…*clears throat* PMSing on you…*giggles* That's a good description…my net has been PMSing on me, so I understand and I appreciate your tenacity! Oh, and your compliments just blew my mind. Thank you so much!
Oh, and thanks for pointing out about Sess seeing the messengers of the dead! I hadn't caught that on the episode that I saw when he saved Rin, so I didn't even think of putting it in, but probably after I finish posting this chapter now, I'm going to go back and edit the chapter a little more, including some of AgentScully's comments and yours. So, thanks for pointing that out!
As for your question about why Sess came to Inu after I ended it, I just thought that Inu went in the direction he would be and called out to him, however he could do that and that's why I have Sess ask him why he called him there. I didn't want to spend too much time describing that, but if you really think it detracts from the story that I don't have that, I'd consider adding that to the things to fix in the chapter before I repost it.
As for your other questions, well, with the exception of the conversation Sess mentioned at the end, I think the others gets answered in this chapter I'm posting now. If they don't, then review and lemme know, k? ^_~.
About the conv Sess mentioned at the end, well, I hadn't planned on including it in the remaining chapters before I reach the conclusion, but I have been thinking about adding an Epilogue and if I do, it would go there. I have an idea of what I want the convo to be about, but unless I decide not to do the Epilogue, (*Puck sneaks into sight of the computer screen* "Don't tell her that! She might do that scary voice thing again!" *Emania pushes him away*) but probably will do *grin* then I prefer to not tell you the answer to what the conv's about in case I change my mind!
About your project: I'm sorry. ~_~. Those reports suck. I haven't even read the book, so I can't help you much there…and I thought I had read almost every book they assign in school…I guess teachers are getting creative now… *glares* That sucks, too.
So, let's see…it was a long review and I just want to make sure I responded to everything! I think I did…if I didn't, then please lemme know, k? My brain's on broil right now, so I'm not altogether coherent, I don't think…^_^ Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you like this chapter, too!
Wyrm of souls: Thanks for letting me know about the slight posting error. Hope it didn't disenchant you from reading the chapter once I got it up! And I'm super duper glad you thought Sesshy's characterization was well done. Sorry it took me a while to update, but this time it was Puck's fault, *Puck starts to complain, but Emania motions for him to zip it.* Not because he didn't inspire me, but because he inspired me too much. He gave me too much emotion to work with and I ended up having to put it all in there and then work it out. *Puck shrugs* "First you want emotion, now it's too much emotion?" *he glares at her* "Is there no pleasing you, woman?!"
Ghoul King: *Puck grins mischievously* "Yeah, Loki, um, Avalon is the Isle of Mists…it's unknown to any but the initiated, but I do give you props for trying…" *chuckles* "And for taking care of all those lawyers, politicians, car salesmen and door to door salesmen my fellow fae and I put on that Island…I had actually forgotten about them…"*chuckles*.
*Emania walks into the room pulling along a dazed Female Necromancer.* Puck, why did you leave her in my room? I thought I warned you about… *notices Puck had been writing on her pc and she glares at him.* What are you doing?
*Puck starts to disappear from the room, when Emania waves her hand, stopping him.* Uh-uh, not just yet. *She brings up the dazed Necromancer so Puck can see her. The Necromancer is clutching at a floor length Elvis doll* Do something with her, will you?
*Puck raises his eyebrows, he motions her dazed state.* "I already did."
*Emania looks at the Necromancer, and raises her brows.* What did you do, anyway?
*Puck smiles.* Just a small glamoury spell.
*Emania looks at the doll and the way the Necromancer was petting it and hugging it.* She thinks the doll is Sesshoumaru?
*Puck nods emphatically* Aye. *Emania glares at him, but he shrugs* "It's the only way I could get her to let me go."
*Emania shrugs, handing her over to Puck.* Whatever, just do something with her, send her back to her plane of existence, k?
*Puck sighs.* "Do I have to?"
*Emania glares at him.* If you don't, I'll remove the glamoury and she'll go back to thinking you're Sesshoumaru.
*Puck takes the Necromancer's arm and disappears.*
*Emania sighs* Now that that's dealt with… *she grins* Thanks for letting me know about the evil trick ff.net played on my chapter. Thankfully, Puck fixed it.
I'm also very glad that you thought Sesshy was in character. Thanks for reviewing and I hope you like this chapter, too!
Inuphoria: *whew!* Thanks so much for reviewing to let me know how you liked the chapter! I was very worried, but I feel better now! Thanks!
Harm Marie: Thank you so much! I wanted Sesshy to seem in character first of all, and the whole chapter to make sense! Thanks! ^_^
Pruningshears: *grin* I'm so glad you liked the characterization, and although my brain isn't functioning properly right now due to lack of sleep, I just am sooo thrilled that you liked the chapter, you were one of the people I was the most worried about because you had pointed out about Sesshy's character…and I really don't mind about you beating me to my ideas because when you do, you always help me out by pointing out something I would otherwise have overlooked, like Sesshy! ^_^ Thanks so much for reviewing again!
Funky Nassau: I'm so glad that you liked the chapter. It means a lot to me because I was so worried about it. I hope I don't disappoint you with this chapter! Thanks for the review, and I'm exceptionally glad that you liked Well. I'm addicted to it almost as much as I am to Inuyasha the series! Thank you once again for taking the time to review! ^_~.
LadyWyrsa: *beaming* Oooh! I'm so glad you think so! Especially about the song choices! I tend to be particularly proud of them, and not too many people mention them…not that I'm complaining since I have THE MOST WONDERFUL REVIEWERS IN THE WORLD, but I am glad that you liked the story and especially the song choices! *grin* Oh, and super duper glad you think I have a good handle on the characters since it tends to be my biggest worry! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you like the chapter! ^_^
Gloria Underhill: Howdy! I'm so happy to hear from you and very happy that you liked the chapter. Sesshoumaru was tough, but I'm glad that I didn't at least make him totally unrecognizable! Thanks for reviewing! ^_~.
Yoshiko-Rae: Aww! It's so nice of you to say so! Thanks! *grin* Yeah, I wasn't sure about adding that little itty bitty jealousy nudge, but I'm glad I did and I'm glad you caught it without me having to go into too much detail. So glad the chapter satisfied…I didn't want to leave you guys feeling like I had jipped you or anything! *_~. Adios!
Yupperz2003: Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter! ^_^
Eartha: I wish I could say that I knew if my chapter meant that they'd get along now, but I don't. I don't think that's going to fit in this story, and I'm wondering if I should've put it in at all since I'm not really planning on devoting any time to answering the question, but maybe I can put it into an Epilogue of sorts? I'm thinking I'm going to have to do one, but I'm not sure. Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
Aeyikie: (on 27) Hope that you've reached chapter 28 by now and that you think it's as interesting now as 27 promised! I'm sorry you've had such a bad day. *Puck waves at Shibby* "Hello!"
eX Driver Liz: Aww…thanks, so much! It really means a lot to me! I'm so glad you liked the chapter and that it seemed in character! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^ As for the German, the only word I know is "bitter" and that I got from the movie Run, Lola, Run. (Great movie, btw…fantastic.) But I know Spanish: Heramos poco y pario Catana! (We were few, but then Catana gave birth! It's an expression of craziness, like too much stuff going on at once!) And I know French: Voulez-vouz dancer avec moi ce soir? (Would you like to dance with me tonight?) Anyway, hope your finger feels better ! ^_^
AgentScully: Hey! Wow! Thanks for all your comments! They really did pinpoint a lot of areas I thought were kinda weak and they all made perfect sense to me. I've saved them on a separate document and I'm going to be working on them to update the chapter in between. I'll send you a copy of the updated version by email where I'll respond more in depth to each of your comments, k? And never feel bad when I ask you for criticism! It's very very good and I appreciate all of your effort! Really! ^___^
Okay, just adding this bit now, as I see you've become my four hundredth reviewer! Yippeee! You reviewed again just to hurry me to updating! I'm honored! Thank you, and I'm so glad you were the 400th reviewer! *Puck appears, dressed like Ed McMahn, complete with 1980's style glasses and Bob Barker from the Price is Right type microphone. In announcer-man type voice…* "Tell her what we've got for her, Johnny!" *Puck disappears, only to reappear, dressed a-la Vanna White in Wheel of Fortune, alongside a Price-Is-right style turnstile. It turns to reveal boxes piled atop one another, announcer voice continues.* "A lifetime supply of Hershey's Kisses! But wait, there's more!" *The boxes disappear and appear in Agent Scully's house. A book appears on an illuminated podium in its place. Announcer voice continues.* "She'll also get a copy of the world famous 'See Japan on 10 yen a day'! Trip to Japan, not included. And there's still even more!" *Book disappears, only to appear at Agent Scully's side. Em taps her toes at the retro 80's theme music. A box appears on the turnstile and Puck, still a-la Vanna White holds it up.* "She'll also get this nifty inflatable Inuyasha doll, for all your playtime needs! And just for being such a great reviewer, she also get the accompanying shirt which reads 'Someone I know went back in time to Sengou Jidai and all I got was this lousy t-shirt'" *The box disappears to appear at Agent Scully's side in the growing pile of gifts. The shirt misses and falls on AgentScully's head* "And last but not least…" *Puck motions a mysterious object as big as a car with a sheet over it.* "Is it a car? Is it a yacht? Is it a small miniature sized house? No! It's much better than that! *the voice is clearly getting excited* "It's your very own, brand new…CAMEL!!!" *Puck removes the sheet and moves out of the way.* "Watch out, they spit!"
*Emania glares at Puck.* I didn't say Camel! I said Caramel! I wanted her to have lots of caramel candies, you dolt!
*Puck shrugs, turning back into his former self, and the camel disappears.* "Next time enunciate."
*Emania narrows her eyes at him.* Did you make the camel appear at Agent Scully's house?
*Puck looks at her innocently. Emania glares.* If you did, you'll have to pick up every single thing he messes up!
*Puck's eyes widen* "Uh…excuse me…" *he disappears only to reappear at Agent Scully's house, smile disarmingly at her and disappear again, taking the camel, leaving her house spick and span and a large load of caramel candies in it's place.*
*Emania sweatdrops* What am I going to do with him?
MoonFairy: Yey! You caught that! I'm so happy! I was so worried that what I wanted to portray of Sesshy wouldn't come through. His voice was so new to me, you see! But I'm so happy that you liked it and very grateful that you reviewed! I'm sorry that this chapter didn't get posted as soon as I would have liked! ^_^
Mitchie: *blush* Thank you! ^_^
Kai-Aki-Ti: *blush reddens deeper* Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. Hope you like this one! ^_~
MoonBaby: Thank you! *bows* I really appreciate the compliment. Especially from someone who likes the Sesshoumaru character! Thank you so much for the attempt to boost my morale! It sort of worked! ^_~. I hope you like this chapter too!
Corrupte Angel: 0.0 Okay, well, hopefully you'll take a lesson from Inu…I promise it will end well in the end, you'll see! Hopefully, your life will too! Glad you like my story! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
Elissa: *blushes* Aww…thank you. It means so much to me! I hope you like this chapter too. ^_^
Blazingnymph: Yeah, it took me writing that last chapter for me to realize that I actually rather like Sesshoumaru's character. *gasp* I know! But, hey, Puck liked him too, so I have a feeling there might be a Sesshy-based story in our future…even though I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to do a Sess/Kag fic. Not that they can't be well done and just as wonderful as Inu/Kag, but I'm and Inu/Kag fan and I'll never change! *laughs maniacally* Never, I say!! *cackles until she coughs, clears throat.* Right, sorry. Thanks for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter! ^_^;;
The Smooster: Hey! Thanks for reviewing like that…it trips me out whenever someone reads through my story, reviewing as they go…I love it! You also contributed significantly to getting me to the 400 mark! I'm in heaven! And I only got a review up through chapter 9, unless it didn't come through, so I hope you've reached this chapter so you know how much I appreciate your reviews. Thank you for all the thoughtful comments. The only one I think I need to reply to is the one about the music hurting Inu's ears. I didn't really explain too much about it, but I did insinuate about a spell on his ears that sort of muffles his ability. About Kag drinking, well, I would agree with you, except that I've tried to make it so that Kag is trying to explore new elements of her own character. In that sense, I modled her after myself in that she would know what alcohol tastes like and a drink or two, but isn't much of a drinker. Of course, with the situations going on, that changes! *grin* I hope that explains a bit of my thinking and if it still doesn't satisfy, I'd love to hear from you again! ^_^
Kiyoushi: Aww…you're so sweet! I actually don't have any other fictions posted yet…*Puck pushes into view* "She won't let me inspire her to any others even though I want to!" *Emania sighs and pushes him away. He pops out in a huff.* Sorry, that's just a sore spot for him. As it turns out, he's right, though. He keeps teasing me with all these ideas for other stories, but I haven't given in to the urge to write them cause then I'd never get this one finished. I've kinda written down the ideas and I have a few very different options running around in my head, but I won't write them until I finish this one…which isn't very far from happening. Sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter! It was hell to write. Your responses are very intelligent…and your exit line is a trip! ^_^. About your questions…well, with every review that I respond to, I convince myself to write an epilogue more and more cause I hadn't originally intended to and I hadn't even thought of writing the answer to that question in the story and it doesn't fit in anywhere that I have so far. Thanks for saying you liked Inu and Sesshy here! I hope you like this chapter too!
Katergator: *grins widely* Thank you so much for both thinking Sesshy and Inu were in character and for coming to my defense with the spoiler! Thank you so much! I'm very grateful to you for that and for the wonderful reviews! My mind is reeling! I'm very proud that you didn't think of Tensaiga…some people did and I was worried that the chapter had been clichéd or to obvious or something, but now I don't think so so much! ^_^ I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you!
RavenShadow: Thank you so much for your wonderful review! It really means so much to me! I'm so glad you liked the characterization of Sesshy, I was so worried! But you guys have put my mind at ease! ^__^. Sorry it took so long for the update!
MechPhoenix: Howdy! (12) Thank you so much for giving in to my pleas for reviews! I can never seem to get enough of them even though all of you are so wonderful now and review all the time, but since I always seem to be worried about some aspect of my chapter, it helps ease my doubts when you guys review! Even if you say something was wrong with it, it helps ease my doubts cause then that means that I can do something about it! See my reasoning? (27) *blushes a deep red* Wow…thanks, I'm blown away by your review! You're too generous! *Puck grins* "You've really made her blush, Mech, honestly…I can see it in the tips of her hair!" *giggles, disappears when Em tries to smack him.* "I'm very honored you mentioned me in your review as well, and about your muse, well, if he (or she) is a fae then you can just lure him back with promises of sweets and lots of praise. It doesn't work for me…" *trails off as Em is heard laughing in the background. He raises an eyebrow at her and when she finally controls herself, he returns to the screen.* "…but it might work." *Emania comes back to the screen.* Or you can just pretend like you don't need him (or her) and that'll get him running back! *Em ignores Puck's glare* That's what works with Puck! *Em thinks* Also, there's the little thing that I've got a few other writers' muses threatening him if he doesn't come through…and a few writers threatening him too! *giggles* (28) Withdrawals? Wow! Thanks! That's a great compliment! I've had fics that I felt that way about, so just saying it wows me and touches me really deeply! Thanks so much! Thank you so much, and please don't go into a mindless addicted stupor…I couldn't live with myself! So sorry it took so long for me to update! ^_~. I hope this chapter is worth it!
Bruka-chan: Hiya! (26) It's okay, I've done that, and I completely understand! You cried? Because of my story? *wipes tear* Oh, wow…that's so special! *grins* I can't help but feel kinda iffy about my writing, I don't know why. I'll be okay, proud even of a particular line or maybe even a paragraph, but especially when I'm writing about an established storyline such as Inuyasha, I never feel satisfied that I've accomplished what I want to accomplish or paid adequate tribute to the genius that created the characters! But I will take that hug, even if it is a virtual one! Thanks! (27) *giggle* Oooh, Jug-o-wine is a great vintage! ^__^. In my experience, orange juice mixes best with Tequila. And I don't know what, but there's some mix for a Tequila Sunrise, but I'm not sure what it is…of course, by now, he could've made the drink with the whole of the kool-aid factory, but oh well, for next time I guess! ^__^. Buzzed or not doesn't matter, so long as it affected you, I'm happy! Hey, I'm no one to talk, I did final editing for one of those chapter a little buzzed. *grin*. (28) Awww…thank you! That helps. And if you like Sess, then I'm glad you liked Sess in my chapter! I was very worried about him. Sorry about making you wait a while for this update…didn't mean to, just sort of happened. Thank you again for your wonderful reviews and I hope this chapter was worth the wait!
Jen: *laughs* Made you think of Linkin Park, huh? Well, I've been on a Linkin Park kick, so I guess I probably got subconsciously inspired by their song! The chapter after this one has a lot more of that. And with Linkin Park again! They're just great. I love their lyrics! I'm honored that you liked my story enough to check ff.net so often! The end is just around the corner, actually, and I'm almost sorry to see it end. But I don't think it's weird at all to cry at the end of a favorite story…I have before! ^_^ and it makes me doubly honored even that you'd say you would when my story ends! Thank you! And I hope you like this chapter!
Jetflash: Aw, I'm sorry! Having you distraught is the last thing I want, honest! Thank you so much for trying to make me feel better about OOC-ness! I hope you like this chapter and it doesn't disappoint you! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
Sumeragi Kousei: Wow. *laughs* Thanks for the major compliment and thanks for taking the time to review! I hope you like this chapter! ^_^
Still Thinking: *smile* Aw, I'm sorry! I hope you like this chapter! Thank you so much for reviewing!
RinoaOHeartilly: That's okay, Rinoa, just so long as I know you're still out there, reading and that I haven't lost you! I'm happy just to hear from you! (Or read from you, as the case may be!) Thanks so much for boosting my self-esteem where it comes to Sesshy and the Inu/Kag scene, which you probably realized I was worried about even though I didn't mention it! ^__^. You're wonderful! Thanks for reviewing!
Evil Irish Eyes *and* Garlend: *blushes* Aw, Evil, thank you for that great vote of confidence! When you say it, I have to believe it, really. I'm so glad Sesshy came out the way I wanted him to in my head, but I never know for sure if it translated well, you know? *Em watches as Edgar Allen Poe runs across in Evil's side and Shakes 'streaks' after him. Em watches in amazement, mouth slightly agape as the scene takes place before her face crumpling into laughter. Her head falls into her hands as the tears come from her eyes.* I…I…*she can't breathe, let alone speak she's laughing so hard.* …rooting…go, Eddie…
*Puck sees his charge laughing too hard to continue and trying to speak regardless.* "Eddie?"
*Emania straightens, and takes a deep calming breath, wiping the tears from her eyes. She's still smiling, but she seems to have gotten herself under control.* As in Allen Poe.
*Puck is confused, he looks at Evil's side of the screen, looks for Garlend, winces as he realizes what happened to her, then starts grinning as he catches a fleeing Poe and Shakespeare.* "Poor Will. He might be a literary genius, but he's no match for Poe's eccentricity."
*Em starts to giggle again…* He's a looney. *she looses the control over her laughter and erupts in another wave, doubling over and falling off the chair, then laughing harder as she realized what happened. She waves a hand dismissively at Puck.*
*Puck shakes his head and sits in her chair at the computer.* Yeah, so since Em is a little preoccupied right now, I'll take over the review response…*grins. He reads Garlend's comment about Avalon and blushes.* "Um…yeah, we love the pretty lights on Avalon!" *Puck takes Garlend's wonderfully amazing gift and stares at it, awestruck.* "Oh, Garlend, this is beautiful! Simply amazing! Beyond words." *he looks up, surprised.* "I have no words to thank you for such a special gift! I can't think of a single thing to say worthy of such a present!"
*Emania scoffs, standing from the floor and looking amazedly from Puck to Garlend.* Now, that is a feat! Puck is always talking too much! Take for instance this chapter I'm posting now, he just kept giving me stuff and giving me stuff and I didn't know where to put it or in what order it should go, it was driving me crazy! I felt like just shutting him up, but could I? Nooo! *glares at Puck and is about to continue her tirade when Puck opens the box, the beautiful music echoing around in the room. Em's face goes pensive, then slack, a smile of complete contentness coming over her features. She sighs.*
*Puck smiles at Garlend.* "There is nothing I could do to compare to such a gift, Garlend, I shall take you to Avalon myself and let you pick out your own flowers for this…would you like to ride the wind with Titania? Float on the foam of the ocean with the mermaids? Marvel at the jewel-like quality of a dew drop resting on a perfect rose with the fae Peaceblossom or trace the paths on a blade of grass with her sister Mustardseed? I would bring down the moon for you to wear as a jewel, the sun as a crown."
*Emania smiles, then grins wickedly* Why not have her ride the unicorns with Oberon? Or play with the treasures of Mustardseed's brother, Cobweb?
*Puck glares at her.* "They are not worthy of her."
*Emania grins from ear to ear.* The King of the Fae is not worthy? *When Puck won't answer, Emania winks at Evil.* I think Puck's jealous!
*Emania closes the box, the music stops and she is herself again.* Thank you, Evil for the cookies! I LOVE double chocolate cookies! *sighs* Chocolate, yum! *Thinks.* You're right, we do deserve gifts, too, and Puck hasn't brought me the chocolate from Avalon, yet, so I'll have to send you this,. *waves her hand and a Hershey's Kiss Sundae appears on Evil's side.* It's a specialty of a place in Miami called Swensons which has THE BEST ice cream! It's vanilla ice cream with mini Hershey kisses in it and chocolate and caramel syrup. Oh, and whip cream of course! *bites on a cookie* Enjoy! You deserve that and more for the wonderful boost you gave my confidence! ^___^;; I really hope you like this chapter!
Evilfire: Well, thanks for reviewing to let me know you're reading and I'm so honored that someone thought to mention that they thought my story was good to you! I hope you're not disappointed! ^_^
Rachel: *blush* Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I hope you like this chapter too! ^_^
Trinity Kirara: Really?! You think so? Wow. That means so much to me! Thank you so much! About more thought for Inu and his soul thing, what did you mean? That he should have considered not giving it up more, or that he should have talked about how little it meant to him more? *Em laughs as she sees Joy drag in Puck* So that's where he was! I was starting to wonder why he suddenly disappeared. *Puck wakes up and screams like a girl* "Help!" *Em gets serious.* Joy, the only thing I ask is that you don't break him, I still need him, but you can have a little fun with him. *Puck's eyes widen.* "What?!" *Em shrugs.* It'll build character, Puck, toughen up and take it! Or talk yourself out of it or something! *To Trinity* It might make him better adept at inspiring me to write fight sequences! ^_~. Thanks for reviewing and I hope you like this chapter, too!
Born-Of-Elven-Blood: Aw! Thank you so much! I'm glad that fluffy's voice was adequate! Please let me know what you think of this chapter, k? I hope I don't disappoint you! ^_^
Elventeen: One of your favorites, really? Thank you so much for the compliments, both from me and Puck. More Sesshy? Well, I hadn't planned on it, but it seems that I sort of wrote myself into having to put a little more, *glares at Puck, who shrugs.* I'm sure Puck doesn't mind, cause he likes Sesshy, but it doesn't fit in what I have plot wise in the rest of the story, so I think I'm going to have to do an Epilogue and if I do *dodges angry glances* he'll be in that.
Niku: I don't mind at all the email thing! Not at all! I hope that by now, you've been able to get onto the internet. I've been having trouble with my net too, but I can get on, but only for short bursts of time before it just signs off on me. Go figure! I will keep watch for something of yours to break on the scene. If it's anywhere near as well thought out as your reviews, then it's going to be marvelous! ^_^ Thanks so much for the compliments on the chapter, and I'm glad you thought Sesshy and Inu were both in character and that you liked the way the chapter played out. I hope you like this one as much! Thanks again for reviewing (despite all obstacles! *grin*)
Chapter 28: I Try
"I keep my cool but I'm feeling / I try to say goodbye and I choke / Try to walk away and I stumble / Though I try to hide it, it's clear / My world crumbles when you are not near."
-I Try, Macy Gray
Kagome could still feel the chill of the cold on her skin, as if she were only now starting to thaw. She shivered involuntarily at the feel of the sun beating down on her and the warmth of Inuyasha's arms. She felt the drowsiness begin to creep up on her as she felt warm and safe, swaying gently with Inuyasha's step. Her eyes started to close, but Inuyasha shook her.
She felt his heat fighting with the cold that was still somehow in her bones and she instinctively folded herself against his chest. Absently, she marveled at how comfortable it actually was to be carried in Inuyasha's arms like this. Whenever he carried her before, it was always on his back and then she had to do some of the work to stay on him. Now…now, she felt as if she didn't have to worry about a thing. Inuyasha was carrying her and he would get her home. That, as much as his actual body heat and the sun, helped to drive away the cold from her dream mists that still lingered.
Inuyasha hadn't spoken the whole time he carried her back to the village, and neither did she. The lethargy that settled on her from peace and contentment made it seem more trouble than it was worth to speak, and plus, she couldn't seem to think of anything she needed to say that was so important so as to make it worth the effort.
As soon as Inuyasha brought her into sight of the village, however, a cry resounded from the farmers tending their fields, and spread throughout until it reached Kaede's hut long before they did. Kagome was startled at the faces of surprise and wonder mingled with joy as the villagers caught sight of her awake. She smiled absently at their greetings and exclamations of pleasure at her good health.
"How long was I out?" Kagome whispered, awe-struck by the reaction of the villagers. Inuyasha looked down at her and there was something strange in his eyes.
"You were unconscious for seven days," he answered seriously.
"Seven…" Kagome whispered, incredulous. She looked up at Inuyasha but he was looking straight ahead so she had a great view of his chin. Kagome was too shocked by the news to even ask Inuyasha to put her down. When she thought about it, she wasn't sure she was steady enough to walk. She felt somehow detached from her body, except for a slight pressure behind her ears signaling a headache.
"What do you remember?" Inuyasha spoke into her shocked silence.
Kagome reached up to massage her temples and furrowed her brows as she thought. "I…" she trailed off. "I remember the confrontation with Benten," she said.
"Benten?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome felt the rumble in his chest that meant he was withholding a growl. "Is that his name?"
"Was," Kagome answered. "He's gone now."
Inuyasha looked down at her. "Gone where?"
Kagome shrugged as best she could while being cradled in Inuyasha's arms. Absently, she marveled at how easily he carried her as if she weighed no more than Shippou. "Back to the water, I suppose."
"And he left you just like that?" Inuyasha asked disbelievingly.
"He was…" Kagome thought for a few moments and marveled again when Inuyasha didn't try to hurry her into speaking. "…infected…with hate and betrayal…" Kagome sighed. "He thought I…Kikyo had convinced his true love to betray him, when all she really did was try to give him another chance as best she could." She looked up at Inuyasha again, unsure of what she'd find in his face. She couldn't be angry anymore if he showed her he still loved Kikyo. She knew now that he had offered her all he could offer her and she had no right to ask any more of him. 'He must feel me staring at him,' Kagome thought, but Inuyasha would only look straight before them, his face set in pensive lines. She couldn't read his face at all.
"And he just left?" Inuyasha finally asked. "Just like that?"
"I think I purified him."
Inuyasha did look at her then and there was something like wonder on his face. "Like a shard?"
Kagome nodded. "That's what it felt like."
Inuyasha looked up and continued walking. "What else do you remember after that?"
Kagome looked before them and saw the village passing before them, returning the smiles of some of the villagers absently. "I remember seeing you coming toward me through the forest," Kagome spoke as if in a trance. "I remember mist, I remember being cold and wanting to go to the warmth but a voice whispered to me and drew me more into the mists…" she looked up at his chin again. "I think it was your voice, Inuyasha." She watched his jaw move as he swallowed, but he didn't speak. "I remember seeing myself lying on the floor…" she trailed off. "I looked so pale," she whispered. "I remember pain and a warm light." She stopped, unsure of how much else she should tell him.
"And?"
"And…and I remember wanting to go back to the light where it was warm and there was no pain, but then I saw you as if through a thin veil, talking to Sesshoumaru and…and giving him Tetsusaiga." She clutched at his haori, but he didn't look at her. "You were going to give him Tetsusaiga so he'd save me, weren't you?" Inuyasha swallowed hard, but didn't look at her. Kagome pulled at his haori harder and drew his eyes to hers. They were indecipherable, but they told her all she needed to know. "Why would you do that? You're such an idiot! Don't you know without Tetsusaiga your soul would've been consumed?"
Inuyasha frowned angrily. "Of course I know!" he exclaimed suddenly. "But nobody could wake you and you were getting cold and Kaede said you might not wake up ever again and it was the only thing I could think to do!"
Kagome felt herself bristle at his tone, but knew it was just excess emotion, not real anger. "You could have fought him!" she exclaimed, even though she knew it didn't make sense. "Of all the times you faced Sesshoumaru, of all the stupid fights, this was the time you decide not to try to fight him?"
"There wasn't time!" he yelled back, the excess emotion spilling from him in much the same way. "You were dying!" he exclaimed.
Kagome tried to glare at him, but her current position didn't let her, so she pushed away from him, wanting to be put down, the energy of the anger making her confident that she could stand now. When he finally did, she placed her hands on her hips and glared at him proper. "You could've thought of some other way other than giving up your own life, you baka!"
The anger in his eyes slowly faded only to be replaced by something she couldn't name. "My life meant nothing if I couldn't protect you," he spoke.
Kagome inhaled and didn't know what to say. Finally, she shook her head, feeling the tears want to come to her eyes. "You shouldn't…" she sighed. "You shouldn't say that, Inuyasha, I…" 'I don't want you to protect me because you promised to!' she yelled in her head. 'I don't deserve the friendship you're offering!' But she didn't say any of it, couldn't make the words leave her lips. "I don't want my life in exchange for yours."
Inuyasha could feel the words on the tip of his tongue. It would be so easy to just speak them, just to say he loved her, to say that his life was hers…but what if she left him? What if she chose to go? She had chosen to stay with him before even when he asked her to go, he had been so stupid then, but that had been only because of her good heart, hadn't it? If she knew how much he loved her, how he would gladly give his life for her if it meant not watching her die, would that scare her into leaving for good? Everything would change, and he would loose her. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but was stopped by a wail careening toward them at top speed. Inuyasha's instincts were on instant alert, but he stopped just shy of pushing Kagome to the ground when he caught the attacker's scent in the air. He watched as his moment passed with the speeding blur of reddish-brown fur crashing into Kagome's arms.
"KagomeKagomekagomekagomeIwassoworriedIalmostdiedyouwouldn'twakeupareyousureyou'reokaynowyouhadusallworriedandInuyashawouldn'tsleeporletanyoneclosetoyouandkaedemademegotosleepbutIdidn'twantocauseIwantedtobetherewhenyouwokeupbutInuyashatookyouawayandyou'renotgoingawayagainareyou?" Shippou took a deep breath and opened his mouth to start another tirade when Kagome stopped him with a hand to his lips.
"Shippou, please!" Kagome said laughingly. "I'm sorry to have worried you, but you'll have to go a little slower and give me some time to digest what you're saying if you expect me to answer."
Shippou looked at her, opened his mouth to speak, then decided he rather bury his face in her stomach and cry. "Don't do that again, k?" he mumbled against her robes.
Kagome softly ran her hand soothingly across his back. "I'm sorry, Shippou, I'll try."
She looked over Shippou's head to find Inuyasha still looking at her. He had been about to tell her something, she could see it in his eyes, but…she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it. She couldn't stand it if he asked her to leave again. She was afraid he'd ask her to leave again for her own protection like he did that last time when he put the tree in the well, but… Now that she could feel where the rest of the fragments were like a soft pulse against her conscious, he wouldn't really need her anymore. And even if he considered her a friend, friend enough to want to protect, the way she would give up her life to protect Sango or Shippou or Mirouku, he would still let that honor get the better of him…
At one time, when she came back after the whole mess with Kouga, she had convinced herself for so many reasons that she could live with knowing he didn't love her, and still be by his side, but now, it seemed that everything was against that.
She could still remember the vision showed to her by Benten…all those she cared about lying dead to protect her, to fight with her, because the monsters had come for her…
She knew as well now as she did then that her friends would never hate her because of that possibility, would never feel anger at her the way Benten had showed her in the vision, but the possibility did existed that it could happen…someone could come for her or the jewel that they couldn't fight and they might very well die trying to protect her.
Hadn't Inuyasha's willingness to give up Tetsusaiga…his very soul…for her life proven that?
Despite the fact that she wasn't as useless as she had originally thought, perhaps she was more of a liability than a benefit after all?
Wouldn't it be better for all involved if she went back through the well and pretended to be normal, going through the motions of living?* Perhaps it would be better for them all if she went back to her life in the modern era and pretended like she had never known what it felt like to roam this beautiful land, had never felt what it was like to fight alongside such loyal friends?
Friend. For the first time in her life, the word echoed bitter in her thoughts. She couldn't hate him, couldn't love him…at one time she had convinced herself she would be happy to have his friendship if she couldn't have anything else, now…now she wondered for how much longer could she stand being just his friend?
+~+~
Kagome looked down at the sleeping kitsune in her arms and almost smiled. It felt so good to hold him again, so comforting to have his soft warmth pressed against her, to feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. She could almost fool herself into thinking that nothing had changed. She heard her name being called but avoided looking up because she knew if she did she would be reminded again of how wrong she had been and how much things had changed.
"Kagome?"
Sango's voice was worried. It was that, more than anything else that urged Kagome's face up to look at her friend. She closed her eyes and gained her strength, then looked up, a slight smile on her lips. "Hm?" she asked.
"Are you well?"
Kagome tried to brighten the smile, but she didn't think it worked. "Just tired," she answered.
"You'd think you slept enough, ne?" Mirouku asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Kagome turned her weak smile toward him but before she could reply, Mirouku was banged on the head by a passing Inuyasha.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Inuyasha exclaimed. "Don't joke like that."
Mirouku smiled knowingly despite the pain and bowed his head slightly. "A thousand apologies."
Kagome looked from one to the other, too weary to do much but stare.
Sango frowned at Mirouku and Inuyasha as she sat next to Kagome. "Do you wish to retire?"
Kagome sighed, but shook her head. "No," she answered. "Mirouku's right, I've slept enough for a good while, I think…" she trailed off, seeing the look of worry on Sango's face, she tried to smile again and this time, it reached her eyes. "Please don't worry, Sango, I'll be okay, it's just…just a lot on my mind."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Sango asked.
Kagome thought about all the things she had already told them, of Benten and of how she had walked out of her bedroom to meet him in a haze of her own power mingled with his. Of how it had felt to purify him, of Kikyo's involvement and Benten's story…
But she had left out one of the most important aspects…she had yet to tell them that she could sense where the remaining jewel fragments were. That, given a map, she could point out where they lay, undisturbed, ever since they fell there upon being shattered. There were so few of them left, the biggest chunk being held by Naraku still. But she could feel them, and she had yet to tell them.
Why was she waiting? Why hadn't it been the first words to come out of her mouth after Inuyasha had left the clearing where Shippou had interrupted them and led them back without a word?
The answer came to her mind all too easily. 'Because you don't want to make the choice you know you should,' it spoke clearly. 'Because you don't want to give them the means to finish the quest without you, even though you know you should go back to the future and not be a liability to them any longer,' it continued ruthlessly. 'Because you don't want to admit to one less reason to stay here.'
She felt the pain of realization run her through like a knife and she looked down at Shippou to hide the pain that stole over her features. She stood in an attempt to give herself time and the room fell silent. "I should put Shippou to bed," she spoke into the silence.
Sango watched her friend walk to the corner of the hut where Kagome and hence, the kit slept. Kagome was different. Sango recognized this as did the rest of her companions, but Sango couldn't quite figure out why. She had been so silent as she returned, even though they had all been so happy. She had tried to make her eat, but Kagome had merely played with the broth. It seemed as if Kagome was still battling some inner battles even though she had woken up to stop Inuyasha from giving up Tetsusaiga.
Sango shifted her gaze to Inuyasha where he sat in his corner of the room to find him also studying Kagome. Something had happened between those two. She had seen how worried Inuyasha had been, so worried, she was sure he would admit his feelings to her, but, although by their own account, Inuyasha had been willing to trade Tetsusaiga for Tensaiga to wake Kagome, they almost seemed more distant rather than less.
Sighing, Sango looked at Mirouku who met her eyes and shrugged. Mirouku stood up and took Kagome's place next to Sango, gently holding Sango's hand in comfort. "I think they just need time," he whispered to her.
Kagome could practically feel the sense of worry and insecurity coming from her friends. She was worrying them, they didn't know what to make of her, they were tiptoeing around her, as if afraid she might break, and it was killing her inside that she couldn't assuage their fears or their worries because she wasn't sure she wouldn't break herself. Albeit for different reasons…
She felt the words on the tip of her tongue, the words that would make their lives easier…bring Mirouku leaps and bounds closer to stopping the wind-tunnel in his hand, give Sango some semblance of her life back, grant Inuyasha his fondest wish…and take her far away from here, back to her own time where life was safe and normal and boring and tedious. Her lips were heavy with the words, her heart heavy with the fear of being no longer needed, and her soul with the knowledge of her selfishness for having gone this far without telling them…
She had always known the time would come when she wouldn't be needed anymore. After all, she had been working to put together the jewel whole-heartedly. And, if she was honest with herself, she would have to admit that Inuyasha had been clear with her from the beginning…he had told her his choice that day in the forest when she had seen him with Kikyo, when he told her he wouldn't ask her to stay at his side…she had been the one to decide that, hadn't she? And although she had told herself that she was willing to be by his side even if he didn't care for her that way, deep down, she had just been clinging to hope that one day he would.
And now, she had to let go of that hope. She had to admit to herself that Inuyasha cared for her as he cared for Sango and Shippou and Kaede, that he was so protective of her because he was her friend and because his honor demanded it of him since he promised he would. She had to admit to herself that it wasn't enough for her, but it wasn't fair of her to expect any more of him. It wasn't his fault that he didn't love her as she loved him, and it was time she stopped expecting him to.
If only she had come to this realization without the knowledge of the location of the other jewel fragments, she still could have reasons to stay with them, but she could no longer deny that she was a liability to them, she brought them danger and if she told them where the rest of the jewel fragments were her best move for all concerned would be to go to her time and stay there.
Maybe if she did, she'd be able to lick her wounds, give herself time to heal. She knew she'd never love the way she loved Inuyasha again, but maybe she could move on with her life, go through the motions of living and have some semblance of a normal life, settle down, raise a family…
She started for the entrance as much to keep her emotions from them as their obvious worry from herself.
"Kagome?" Mirouku asked. "Where are you going?"
"Are you alright?" Sango asked.
"I just need some air," Kagome mumbled, without looking up. She turned just as Inuyasha pushed himself from the wall to follow her.
Inuyasha looked deeply into her eyes and saw a look there that was both eloquent and uncertain. He didn't know what to make of her either and yet he obviously had so much to say.
Kagome didn't want to hear it. She put out a hand to him. "I won't go far. You'll be able to smell me if you try."
He didn't look convinced, but he didn't move to follow her when she turned and walked out. Instead, he looked at the bamboo curtain covering the door and waited until Kagome stopped moving, on the plain area behind the hut where when he sat, he could hear the river rushing by. Slowly, as he heard Kagome sit down and settle in, he turned to Sango.
"What happened between you?" Sango demanded.
Inuyasha looked almost disgusted, but he didn't utter the typical oaths. "Nothing," he bit out and the one word spoke volumes.
Neither Sango nor Mirouku, however, were sure they knew the language in which they were written.
"What do you mean, nothing, you baka!" Mirouku exclaimed. "Something obviously happened!" He lowered his voice as he saw Shippou stir. "The kit said you were arguing when he came upon you in the forest." Mirouku narrowed his eyes at him. "Did you say something stupid again?"
"She seems so sad, so quiet," Sango spoke up quietly. Inuyasha turned to look at her and she saw pain there. "Almost like a part of her stayed there in that vision that Benten showed her."
Inuyasha was still thinking about what Mirouku had asked. Did he say something stupid to her? How much of his conversation with Sesshoumaru had she heard? She somehow saw him offering Tetsusaiga for her life, so what else did she hear?
My life meant nothing if I couldn't protect you.
Her face had gone so still, so full of pain at his words. The vision of it was still etched in his memory. Inuyasha blinked and looked away from Sango. "I think maybe I did say something stupid," he mumbled, half under his breath. "Or at least something she didn't want to hear."
"What do you mean?" Mirouku questioned.
Sango walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Inuyasha?" she asked. "Did you tell her…" she trailed off as Inuyasha looked up at her and she couldn't read the expression on his face. "…how you feel about her?"
Inuyasha's first instinct was to deny it, to shove Sango's hand away and ask her where she got such a stupid idea, but he couldn't. "How I…" Inuyasha trailed off and looked down at his clawed hands, clenching and unclenching them. "I think I tried to," he whispered. "But…" he trailed off, unsure of what to say.
"But what?" Sango asked. He couldn't think of this. Inuyasha pulled away from Sango and started for the door. "Inuyasha," Sango called out. "But what?" she insisted.
Inuyasha stopped, one hand pushing aside the curtain and looked out into the forest. "I don't think she wanted to hear it," he admitted, disappearing from the door with such speed that to Sango it almost looked as if he had simply vanished.
Sango sighed and looked at Mirouku. "Do you really think Kagome doesn't want to hear about Inuyasha's feelings?"
Mirouku walked up to her and put his arm around her. Sango leaned her head on his shoulder and marveled as she had since she first allowed herself to think of Mirouku that way, how right this seemed.
"Not a chance," Mirouku said authoritatively. "They just need to come around at their own pace."
"Should we just…" Sango turned her head so she could look at him. "…tell them what the other feels?"
Mirouku smiled lopsidedly. "Would you have believed it if she came up to you?" he asked.
Sango thought about it for a moment and almost smiled. "No, you're right, I didn't."
"Didn't?" Mirouku asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning back to better look at her.
Sango did smile then and pecked him on the lips. "I think I'll go talk to Kagome, just the same."
Mirouku held onto her when she would have pulled away and leaned down, pressing his lips to hers gently for a brief moment. "Do not worry, my love," he said gently. "With all they have been through, they will be kissing passionately before the morning sun."
Sango rose a brow. "Is that one of your infamous fortunes?"
"Perhaps."
Sango's other brow rose to join the first. "Do you really believe that?"
"I would stake my fortune on it," he said surely.
Sango crossed her arms across her chest. "You have no fortune," she pointed out stoically.
"Well, lucky for me, you don't love me for my money," he winked.
"Or your prophesizing skills," Sango added.
Mirouku rose a brow, feigning insult. "What do you love me for, then, Lady Sango?"
Sango pretended to think as she walked to the bamboo curtain. "I don't know, I'll have to get back to you on that one."
Mirouku was cut off from replying by the sounds as the bamboo curtain shifted back into place, cutting off his view of the outside.
+~+~+
Sango found Kagome in the clearing a few feet behind Kaede's hut. She was sitting, her knees pressed to her chest, the night like a cloak around her as she stared out into the forest, but her gaze was much further than even that.
Kagome heard Sango's soft approach and didn't feel it necessary to look at her as she sat next to her. They sat in companionable silence for a while. Kagome could feel Sango's worry but didn't know how to ease her from it.
"I'm sorry I'm worrying you," Kagome spoke quietly. She turned to look at Sango who was searching her. "I really don't want to, I'm not hurt or anything…" she looked pleadingly into Sango's eyes. "Honest."
Sango didn't look convinced. "You're different." Kagome blinked as if she'd been hit and Sango tried to fix her candid statement. "Kagome, I…"
Kagome stopped her with an upraised palm, "No, Sango, you're right, I am different, but I really am okay, just…" she looked away, out into the night before them. "I just have a lot of things to work through right now."
"Talking about it always helped you before," Sango said hopefully.
Kagome smiled, almost sadly, but didn't look at Sango. She touched Sango's hand on her shoulder gently. "Not this time."
Sango wondered how else she could reach out to her friend, and thought she'd try a different tactic. "Then, would it be alright if I talked?"
Kagome looked at Sango, surprised. She lowered her head, shaking it softly, to look at her lap. She closed her eyes against the realization of how blind she had been. She had been so selfish. She sighed, taking control of her emotions and looked up at her. "Of course I wouldn't mind."
Sango looked out at the night sky. "I thought we'd lost you, Kagome," she whispered.
Kagome tried to hold back the tears at the emotion in her friend's voice. "Sango…"
Sango shook her head. "When you stepped out of the barrier in the woods and passed out, Inuyasha wouldn't let you go," she told her. Kagome closed her eyes against the emotions that sentence brought. "And when you wouldn't wake up day after day and you just got colder and colder…" Sango trailed off and wanting to look at Kagome, but not daring. "And when Kaede said that you might not awaken…" she shook her head and finally looked at Kagome, the pain and fear still fresh in her eyes. "I didn't know what to do for you, Kagome, I…"she trailed off and blinked back tears. "I was so helpless, and I…I had told you that we'd be there for you, that we wouldn't let anything happen to you, but I…" she tried to swallow away the lump in her throat. "I failed you."
Sango closed her eyes as the tears started to fall and felt Kagome's arms around her shoulders, Kagome's hand soothing her back. "Sango, please don't do this," Kagome spoke around her own tears. "I have never had a truer friend," she said her voice thick with her own emotion. When she felt she could face her, she pulled Sango away from her. She reached behind her and pulled out the scroll she had rolled there. She pushed it into Sango's hands. "I'm the one who failed you," she admitted. "I'm the one who put you all in danger and put you in danger every day that I'm here…and…and…" Kagome blinked back the tears, but had to stop to gain her voice. "And even knowing that, I was selfishly…I couldn't…"
Sango reached out for Kagome, but Kagome stopped her, wiping her tears violently away and pointed to the scroll. "Please, Sango, look."
Most of her attention still on Kagome, Sango slowly unrolled the scroll. At first, her eyes saw only squiggly lines and circles. Intrigued, Sango gave the scroll her full attention and realized she was looking at a map. A map drawn in some detail with a handful of bright orange points on various parts of it. "Kagome, what is this?"
Kagome laughed, but there was very little humor in it. "It's a map of Japan, Sango, although it's not to scale, of course…" she cleared her throat to get rid of the last of the tears. There would be time for them later.
"And these?" Sango motioned the orange points. She could almost make out some of the areas that Kagome had drawn. Kagome was silent for so long, Sango looked up at her. The look on her face was that of pain and resignation.
"Those are the remaining jewel shards," she whispered.
Sango's eyes widened and she looked at the map, then at Kagome. "What?"
Kagome nodded softly. "I've known since my confrontation with Benten."
"How?" Sango asked incredulously.
Kagome shrugged. "I don't know, only that I did. I think I must have opened myself up to more magic when I purified Benten, but somehow, I can feel the shards and I know that they're there," she pointed to the map. "They're in the ground, undisturbed, where they've been since they landed there after I shattered the Shikon." She couldn't meet Sango's eyes. "All you have to do is dig."
Something about Kagome's words altered Sango and she leaned in closer to Kagome, trying to capture her eyes. "Why are you giving this to me, Kagome?"
"Because I can't give it to Inuyasha, myself, and…and you'll need it."
"Why would we need it so long as you know…" Sango trailed off as Kagome glanced up at her and she saw the look in her eyes. It was the look of goodbye. "Kagome, no." She said. "We're not going to look for these without you, we'll just wait until you come back."
Kagome sighed. "I'm not coming back, Sango," she said softly.
"What?" Sango exclaimed. She looked around her, knowing that someone else needed to hear this. "You can't, Kagome…" she knew there was more she should say, but she couldn't think what it was. "If this is because you still think you're burden, I'll teach you to fight," Sango added quickly.
Kagome looked up and shook her head. "It's more than that, Sango," Kagome spoke quietly.
"I've taught other exterminators before," Sango continued as if Kagome hadn't spoken. "I'll train you just like they trained me," Sango took her hands with an enthusiasm she didn't really feel. "Why didn't I think of this before?" she exclaimed. "It's perfect, you'll be a new kind of exterminator, no demon will ever be able to…"
Kagome placed a hand on Sango's hand and Sango trailed off, frowning. "It's more than the fighting, Sango." Kagome swallowed. It wouldn't do if she started crying again. She had to be strong. "Benten showed me something when he was trying to get me to give up my soul to him…" she trailed off, looking at the night, but still seeing the vision, the mangled bodies. "There was all this death and destruction…" she whispered. She met Sango's eyes. "I know that what he told me your emotions in it weren't real, I know none of you really hate me, but…" she straightened her back, attempting to get through this. "But it doesn't change the fact that it could happen…you all have always done so much to protect me…" she squeezed Sango's hand. "Sango, you almost killed your brother because he was sent after me," she stopped Sango when she would have protested. "Mirouku took in the poison insects more than once, poor little Shippou enters battle when he's not ready, and Inuyasha…" she trailed off. "Inuyasha almost gave up his soul in an attempt to protect me…" She shook her head. "I know that I'm not as helpless as I thought I was, but Sango, I'm a magnet!" she exclaimed. "A magnet for bad things to come after me, I bring all this trouble, you all could search for the jewel quietly, but somehow, trouble always finds me…comes looking for me…and I can't…" she swallowed hard. She met Sango's eyes, hers pleading Sango to understand. "You've been the only sister I've ever had, Sango, and although it'll hurt so much to leave you, I have to in order to save you."
Kagome lowered her head, her hands going slack in Sango's. Sango took the opportunity to speak.
"But, the jewel!" she exclaimed. "You can't leave without finishing the jewel!"
Kagome looked up and pointed to the map. "It's all there."
"But who will purify it?" Sango countered.
"They have not been tainted, they are untouched by evil," Kagome answered surely.
"Even if we follow the map, how will we find the place where the jewel is?" Sango countered once again. "You said it's underground, how can we know where in the ground if you're not there to feel it?"
"You'll know the place, the vegetation will be ripe, perfect, the trees and flowers are always in bloom, and a tall tree will have grown, the roots protecting the jewel."
Sango couldn't believe what she was hearing. Kagome was wrong, Sango knew she was. This was ridiculous. But perhaps she was being selfish? Perhaps it was best for Kagome to go back home and stay there? "What of the dangers to you in your own time?" Sango asked quietly. "They'll be no one to protect you."
"When you find the jewel and defeat Naraku, there will be no dangers to me in my time," Kagome answered. Her answers were too perfect, even to her own ears, as if she were prepared for Sango's arguments. And in some way, she was. Hadn't she already asked herself all those same questions? Had this same argument with herself?
"What of us?" Sango finally asked. "What of Shippou?"
Kagome closed her eyes and it was visibly painful for her to answer. This had been the sticking point…Shippou…
"Better he see me leave than he watch me die," Kagome answered. "He is young, it will hurt, but he will move past it, especially when you explain it to him."
"Inuyasha will go after you," Sango answered, finally feeling she had something to convince her of the futility of her effort.
Kagome faltered in her answer. She knew what she had told herself was the answer to this particular scenario, but she wasn't sure she could do it once she got there. She remembered the site of Inuyasha presenting Tetsusaiga to Sesshoumaru and her hand balled into a fist at her side. "Grandfather will seal the well once I'm through, no one will pass."
"What if I destroy the map?" Sango asked, a final act of desperation.
"Kaede will find another copy in the morning," Kagome answered
Kagome stood but couldn't make herself walk away. "It's the best for everyone, Sango, for all of you, and I'll…" she couldn't make the words come out of her lips. She pushed past the lie and made it emerge through her lips. "I'll be better there."
"Kagome," Sango called out, standing.
"Please, Sango," Kagome interrupted. "Say goodbye to Mirouku for me." She took a step forward and stopped. She turned around and Sango almost smiled, thinking Kagome had changed her mind before she saw the look in her eyes. Kagome ran to Sango and pulled her into a fierce embrace. "You taught me so much and I will never forget you, Sango," Kagome whispered. Before Sango could react, Kagome had pulled away and was practically running into the forest toward the well.
Sango felt helpless again, watching her sister walk away from her and aware that she could do nothing, say nothing to stop it.
'Almost nothing,' she corrected herself. She turned back toward the village and scanned it quickly, but her eyes didn't find what it was looking for. She ran the few feet to the village and stood dead center. "INUYASHA!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
+~+~
A/N: Well, this is the best I can do for this chapter, folks. And it's taken me this long to do it! Sorry about any mistakes, I just can't see it straight any more.
Sorry about the cliffie, but unlike when I posted the last chapter, I do have the next chapter mostly typed up. I have to tighten it a bit and add some stuff here and there, but most of it is written down.
Oh, and the next chapter should be the last chapter, the end, that's it. Unless when I tighten it it becomes too long and then I'll have to cut it into two chapters.
But have no fear, I actually think I've convinced myself to do an epilogue after it, so there should be, in essence, two more chapters of this story left after this one! Whaddya think of that?
And, although LilacRose assured me I wasn't rambling, I felt like some of the thought sequences might have been a little rambling and repetitive. Please let me know what you guys think, yes?
* This line was inspired by a line I read once in an Anne Rice book called The Mummy or Ramses the Damned. It always stuck with me and I couldn't help but think of it as I wrote this.