A/N: Hey, all! So, here we are. At the end…or practically the end. I have decided to make an epilogue to tie up loose ends. I didn't get any suggestions as to what things should be included in there, but as I said before, I am going to answer the question as to what Sesshy had to speak to Inu about, I promise!
As for this chapter: Well, I'm particularly worried about whether or not I managed to tie everything together and give you guys an adequate resolution to such a long suffering plot-line! I think it's satisfactory…I got everything I wanted in it, but you all must know me by now and must be expecting me to say… "help! Lemme know if it sounds too contrived or waaay too OOC or what?" It's bound to be a little OOC, mind you, cause…well, cause of the situation, but…well, you all know what I mean…
Also, there's 12 pages to this puppy! Woohoo!
Let's see…anything else?
Oh, yes, right. I received a few reviews telling me about misspellings in the fic. So far, I know I misspelled Miroku as Mirouku, Hojo as Houjo, Kirara as Kilala, and Tetsusaiga as Tetsaiga. I've tried to fix these as they were pointed out to me, but I really don't think I'll be going back and fixing these in the already posted sections. Who knows, I tend to be such a perfectionist, I just might if I get a spare moment, but considering that Finals are rounding the corner, I highly doubt it. I just wanted to let you guys know that I am now aware of that flaw, that I apologize for it, and that it will be remedied in the future.
Disclaimer: *sigh* If you don't know by now they're not mine and that I'm not getting any profit out of this, then I just don't know what'll get it through your noggin.
Rating: Oh, yeah, I guess I should say that the language in this chapter is a little racy, and the situations, although not lemony, are not for the very young.
Thanks: This is almost the end, folks…the second to last chapter is out of my hands and carefully placed in yours. This is the resolution you've all been waiting for (sans a few loose ends to tie up, which will take place in the epilogue, plus just a teensy bit more fluff) I can't thank all of you enough for being such wonderful reviewers! For heeding my pleas for help when I wasn't sure of a particular element of my chapters and for trying to bolster my spirits and even for threatening Puck into inspiration when it seemed his spirits were flagging! You've all been incredible! Throughout the whole thing! And I just hope this chapter is proper payment for your loyalty and wonderfulness! *wipes tear, sniffs*
Oh, and even though I didn't get as many reviews this time as I had before, I am not on the favorite author's list of 23 people! Incredible, isn't it?! I'm floored. Amazed. Awed! A thousand thanks to LilyFlower who added me to boost the number up to 23. And a special thanks to everyone else I have already mentioned for keeping me on their list!
Pruningshears: Howdy! Wow…I'm so crazily hyper cause I just finished my semi-last editing run through of the essentially last chapter of Breaking the Habit! Woohoo! I'm just thrilled that I've basically ended it and since you were the first person to review last time, you're the first person that I'm responding to now and, essentially, you're getting all the emotional run off. So, sorry! I'm so glad you liked that last chapter, I was (as always) worried about it but I didn't think it would be such a cliffy! I hope you like this chapter I'm posting now and I hope it was worth the wait and I hope you really don't feel jipped or like you wasted all that time reading this story for a stupid resolution…*breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…* Sorry, a little over-excited. Working on 4 hours of sleep, up since 7, (oh, except for a quick 30 minute nap in the library) and that always gets me a little hyper, plus, I pretty much finished Habit…woohoo! K. Hope you like the chapter! Thanks for being such a wonderfully constant and loyal reviewer and I hope it continues at least once more (hopefully twice more cause there's an epilogue coming)! ^_____________^
Ghoul King: Wow! That was a long 'un, wasn't it? Okay, so…*takes a deep breath, and pulls up her pants in preparation, Puck sees her preparing to answer and puts on his crash helmet, the tips of his fae ears peeking adorably out*
Corwin: (you're first since you're the last one to have spoken and it's the first thing I see on my screen since I work from the bottom up! *thinks* Don't worry, it makes sense to me.) I like your characters and I like all their individualized personalities and I especially like the wacky ones and how they interact. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about being a horrible writer since your reviews are really quite good and imaginative and entertaining. And if you're worried about grammar and such, you can always get a good Beta to take care of that for you. The most important thing in my mind that makes a good writer is having a good imagination, which you obviously have. Write the stories yourself. Have the fun yourself. It's been my experience that the more you write, the better you get. You should see my stuff from way back when I first started writing…*laughs* It sucked. *Puck laughs hysterically* "Oh, yeah! Really bad!" *Puck sobers as he sees Emania glaring at him* I'm not sure what "blizzard entertainment" is or what shows they handle, but I would probably put the stories as fanfiction.net cause fictionpress I think is for totally original stuff. If it doesn't fit there, then make your own website and put them there!
About the reason to center a plot around them, well, you're the writer, what more reason do you need than to explore their characters? That's the reason I started writing Habit to tell you the truth. I wasn't sure where I was going with the plot and it was really just something to serve as a catalyst for Kag's realizations.
Okay, so I guess that's all I've got to say to you…I hope that helped, and if there's something else I can do, just let me know…I'll be happy to help if I can!
Ghoul King: Well, *watching as Female Necromancer hugs him* You know what they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I guess now that she's got that Sess *Puck covers her mouth before she says the name and glares at her.* "Remember what happened last time?" *Emania sweatdrops and nods. Puck lets her go.* Whew! That was close, I almost said Se…er…so, anyway, now that she's got it out of her system thanks to Puck's glamoury, she's back to her old…uh…*grins wickedly at Ghoul King being squeezed* …crush…forgive the pun. *Em sobers* Sorry about the last chapter being too emotional for you, but I hope this one…*stops, thinks.* uh…come to think about it, you probably won't like this one either…*Puck smacks her* "Don't say that! We want them to read it, remember?" *Em glares at Puck.* Why don't you go and help Loki take over Heaven, huh? *Puck blinks* Heaven? *sniffs* "No, thank you. They always mistake me for an angel, it's the wings" *motions his wings while flickering them* "Plus, no one I know is there and no one there knows how to have any fun, anyway." *Em looks at him seriously.* You tried already, huh? *Puck frowns* "Oberon thought it would be fun," *he narrowed his eyes* "It wasn't. They didn't even fight, they thought we were angels coming home, it was really boring." *Em laughed* Good thing I'm reincarnating. Anyway, hope you like this chapter, or at least think it's a good ending. There is an epilogue coming soon, though, but that'll just be tying up loose ends, you know. So…yeah, I think I covered it all…enjoy!
Fushigi Wolf: *blush* Thank you for reviewing and I'm glad you like the story even if you think I am evil…but, you should blame Puck, my muse for the cliffies, it's what we've all decided. I hope you like this as the end! ^_~.
LilyFlower: Sorry about the cliffy. If I hadn't ended it there, I would've kept writing for another…well, a good lot more and then my hands would've fallen off, it would've taken longer to post and, I probably wouldn't have been able to post it all cause ff.net might eventually shoot me or something for doing it. But I hope this chapter makes up for it! And I'm sooo happy to see I'm on your Favorites! That means so much to me, really, it does! Oh, and I'm really glad you liked Sesshy. I was so unsure of my characterization of him! ^_^
RinoaOHeartilly: Okay, lemme try this again. I had already written my response to you when my pc froze and I lost it. Damn pc…anyway, *shows Inu/Kag flag* I'm a believer, too! Really, I am. And I promise it will end well, but, well…*winces* I need to put them through just a tad more stuff first. So, well, I hope you enjoy the chapter and I hope you like it and I hope you think it's been worth the wait and I hope you don't think you've been jipped! Oh, and remember that there's going to be an epilogue after this chapter! ^___^. Thank you for being such a great reviewer!
RavenShadow: I hope this was soon enough. Sorry it's taken me a little while and I'm sorry about the cliffy, but I sincerely hope this chapter is worth the wait! ^_~. Thanks for reviewing!
AgentScully: *blushes* Aww, shucks! So much praise! I do know what you're capable of, which is why I need you to patiently read through this chapter, because although it ends happily, there might be a moment when I fear you'll start to pull out the imaginary season again and I can't have that…*shudders* And there's an epilogue, too! I'm so glad you liked the particular lines you picked out. They were particular lines that I was rather proud of, but you should know that the part where Inu bangs Miroku on the head was almost omitted b/c I didn't think it was relevant to the mood of the moment, but…*shrugs* Puck again made sure I kept it, and now I'm glad. *Puck grins haughtily* "When will she learn to trust my instinct?" *Emania sighs* Sorry about the cliffy, but I'm honored that you think it's a good cliffy! I don't tend to write in cliffy's on purpose, like just to be evil, especially when I don't have the next chapter written out, but this one just seemed to stop itself there, (not to mention that Puck was screaming at me to stop there) as the right place to stop. I really hope you like this chapter…it being the end and the resolution and everything, I can't help but be nervous hoping that it's met all your expectations! ~_~.
So, yeah, read on, keep the hand away from the bad X-Files season at least until the end (if at the end, you still feel like taking it out, then go ahead, I can't stop you and I probably deserve it since I'd have failed), and remember that there's an epilogue where you'll get more fun stuff!
Inuphoria: Amazing! What you said in your review was the exact same thing Inu thought! *grin* Thanks for reviewing, hope you like how he resolves the problem! ^_^
Ash-chan: *winces* So sorry, really, but it was the best place to end it! Really…*turns to find Puck trying to skulk away. Points accusingly at him.* BLAME PUCK! HE DID IT! *Puck sweatdrops.*
Blulily: Wow, really? You could hear the soundtrack to my chapter? That's a great compliment. Thank you so much! I hope you like the semi-end…^_^
Inufan: *blush furiously* Aw, thanks! That's so nice of you to say! Especially since the characterization was the main reason for writing the story and the one thing I was constantly worried about! Thank you so much and I hope you continue to like it now that we've reached he end (except for the epilogue) ^_~.
Harm Marie: He will, now…will he succeed? Will he manage to tell her? *in silly, Mr. Movie-Phone type voice* Stay tuned for the next exciting installment of Breaking the Habit and *gasp* One more chapter down and one epilogue to go! I hope you like it! ^_^
Starry-Sky: *blush* Thank you. Really. I'm glad you like it and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you! ^_^ Thank you so much for reviewing!
Yupperz: Thanks! I hope this chapter falls under the "good work" category! *grins*
Katergator: It's not a sad ending, I promise. I've had so many people wonder about that, and I couldn't help but being so mean about the cliffy I figured I'd spoil my own plot a little and say that much. I hope you do like the ending, though and I hope you don't feel cheated! Thank you for saying I'm one of your favorites! I really appreciate that…it means so much to me! Especially since you stick up for me and all! ^_~.
Kai-Aki Ti: *whew!* So glad the S/M fluff was good! I figured I owed you guys a little something and it seemed to fit well, but I was hoping it wasn't over the top or something. Sorry about the cliffy. I hope this chapter was worth the wait and worth how wonderful a reviewer you've been! ^_^. Thanks again!
Eartha: You know, I feel almost sad responding here…I know you're one of the reviewers that've been with me since the beginning and here I am updating the final chapter and responding to one of your last reviews and…oh…*wipes tear* I think I'm going to cry! I'm sorry Kag's making you mad, I would probably want to slap her too if it wasn't because I had written it! *grins sheepishly* I hope you think it turns out okay!
Kiyoushi: Sorry about the cliffie. I didn't really mean to make it such a cliffie, it just ended up that way, so sorry. There is fluff here in this chapter, I only hope it's enough to satisfy everyone! As for the rest of your questions about Inu/Kag, well, just read and see, k? I am planning on writing another story, but I have a few options running around in my head and Puck's just itching to get to them, so I'll write out a chapter or two of each to see which one tickles my fancy before I post it. *blush* Thank you so much for the compliments. It means the world to me that you say that the fic's been well done and especially that it's one of your favorites! You've been a great reviewer! I hope you like the chapter! ^_^
MoonFairy: I hope this chapter satisfies and doesn't leave you feeling cheated and I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks for being such a great reviewer! ^_^
Evilfire: ooh! Really? You read this story cause Lilac recommended it?! Aww…she's such a sweetie. And I'm glad that I've lived up to the recommendations so far and I hope especially that you like this chapter here! ^_^.
Jen: I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope I don't leave you wanting in this chapter. ~_~.
Wyrm of Souls: *grin* Thank you so much! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you and that the resolution is worth the wait and the angst I put them through! I'm so happy to hear it's one of your favorites! Thank you so much for saying so! Thank you so much for writing and attempting to alleviate my doubts! I really hope you like the chapter! ^_~.
Sumeragi Kousei: *blushes* Aw, really, thank you. I'm glad you like it and I only hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint you! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^.
Samantha: Thank you so much for reviewing! I feel exceptionally honored! I hope the chapter I'm posting gives you the closure you were hoping for. The epilogue will have some loose end closure, but this chapter should do most of the closure-ing! ^_^ Please let me know if it doesn't! Thanks again! ^_~.
Mariko Heartilly: *looks at Puck* Now she tells me!? I didn't know, so thank you so much for telling me. Unfortunately, I really don't see myself going back and fixing it in all the chapters I've posted. It would be waaay too much trouble. I probably will fix it on my copy and I have tried to remember to use the correct spelling in these last few chapters, but *sheepish grin* I don't think I'll get around to reposting with the correct spelling! Again, though, thanks so much for telling me! Thanks also for reviewing and I'm glad you like it! ^_^.
Just A Friend: *Em sighs as she glares at Puck* Weren't you supposed to find all these discrepancies? *Puck glares back* "I'm a muse, not an editor!" *Em sighs* Sorry about that, I think I just spelled it as it sounded to me and the editing chain of command obviously broke down somewhere along the line. As I told Mariko above, I probably won't be changing it in the already posted copies, but I really do appreciate you telling me for future reference and I will be sure to change it in my copy. Sorry if it bugs you too much and I hope it doesn't detract too much from my story! ^_^
KKcoolio: *blush* Thanks! Considering you reviewed, like yesterday, I figure I'm updating pretty quickly for you! (Of course, it might take a little while for this to actually make it to post, but…well…you get the picture!) I hope the chapter was worth the wait, and don't worry, I may like writing angst, but I'm not crazy enough to write a complete angst fic and not have them end up together…I don't want reviewers banging on my door with torches and pitchforks! I'm so happy to hear you think I'm a great writer! Thank you! ^__^.
Niku: Wow! You did it again! You went to the trouble of emailing me to review! You're just great! Really! I'm sorry to hear you're still having problems with your pc…My net is still acting up even though I've already spoken to the net people…stupid net gremlins…I'm so glad you liked my last chapter. Shippou does finally get a say in, poor little kit. I feel just horrible for him cause I kept him out the whole time, but I just couldn't figure out how to put him in! On the up side, one of the story lines I'm considering starting to write next would have him in it quite a bit, even if he still wouldn't be the main character (I think Puck doesn't like him very much! *Puck scoffs* "understatement of the year" Although I can't figure out why.) As for your question…I don't rightly know during or around what part of the show my story is taking place. I hadn't really thought about it. However, considering that I haven't seen past the episodes played on AdultSwim, it can't go beyond that for sure. Mostly, I just make reference to the episodes as they come to me while I'm writing. I know for sure there must be a ton of show references that would totally change some of the stuff I wrote, but if it goes too much against where I feel the story should go, then I just kinda ignore it…I know it's probably not right of me, but oh well! About Miroku, no, I think you're right and Miroku is spelled like this. I just didn't know any better and hadn't really thought of looking it up. I also didn't know until someone else pointed it out to me, like, in a review for the last chapter! I do hope this chapter is worth the wait! It's my biggest fear…that I've brought you all this far and when you read the chapter you'll be like…"*blink, blink* That was it? What a letdown!" So, yeah, I hope you like it and thank you for all your wonderful reviews and compliments! I hope you like it…oh, wait…I said that already…oh, well, one more time can't hurt…I really hope you like it! ^_^
Chapter 29: This Time
"Last time you fell and you hit hard / You're wounds have healed by now / But you still see your scars / But it's not the way it used to be right now / You've come so far / To just let this go, my friend / Don't go out the same way / You did the last time / You'll break when you fall / Don't make the same mistakes / You did all over / You've got to believe in yourself / This time"
-This Time, Three Doors Down
Inuyasha was at Sango's side almost before he even knew it. There had been something about her voice that had made him react instinctively. He was on the lookout for a demon after the shards they had or something just as horrible, but found only Sango standing dead center of the village square yelling for him while the villagers looked on in shocked surprise.
"What the hell are you yelling for?" Inuyasha asked clearly exasperated.
Sango whirled around to face him. "You need to go to Kagome…" Sango started. Inuyasha was on instant alert, trying to find her. "She's going to the well, she's going back home, but…" Sango stopped as she felt the air rush by her signaling Inuyasha's exit.
She turned, looking in the direction that Inuyasha had headed toward the well. 'I didn't get to tell him her plan,' she thought. 'Well, at least he's going after her to stop her…' Her thoughts trailed off and she frowned. 'But if he doesn't know that she's not planning on coming back, then maybe she'll just sit him and escape to her time?' Sango bit her lip. 'Kuso,' she cursed. 'Maybe I should have spoken quicker.'
+~+~
'What the hell does she think she's doing?' Inuyasha asked himself as he practically flew through the forest to where he could smell Kagome. She was nearly to the Go-Shinboku tree now.
He had to tell her how he almost died when she was dying, he had to make her understand that she meant everything to him, that he didn't want to lose her, but how? He had no better answer now than he had when he went into the forest to think. He had thought of a million ways to say what was in his heart, but none of them ever played out the right way. None of the scenarios in his head ever turned out the way he hoped they would, and so he had almost decided that the devil he knew was far better than the devil he didn't…that keeping it all inside him and never feeling the soft press of Kagome's lips again was a worthy sacrifice to make sure that things could at least stay the same, that the memory of that kiss in her bedroom would have to be enough, and now she was leaving? Just like that? Going back home without so much as…
He caught up with her when she was still a good few feet from the tree.
Kagome stopped suddenly as her path was blocked by a wall of Inuyasha. She sighed. She had wanted to avoid this, but in retrospect, she hadn't really thought that Sango wouldn't have told Inuyasha. Maybe, subconsciously, the fact that she told Sango at all wasn't so that they'd understand why she wasn't coming back so much, but more some intuitive, involuntary last ditch effort in the hopes that unable to find a reason to stay, Sango might find a way to keep her there. She met Inuyasha's eyes and the look of pure fury wasn't what she had been expecting to see.
"Bitch, where the hell do you think you're going?!" Inuyasha internally smacked himself. That wasn't what he had wanted to say! So why did it come out that way? "Do you think you can just leave after everything you put us through?!" 'Fuck, fuck, fuck!' Inuyasha thought.
Kagome didn't know what to say. "I already told Sango that it's…"
"I don't care what you told Sango, wench!" Inuyasha exclaimed. She was trying to run away from him again. "I'm not going to let you run away again without…" he faltered momentarily and it made him all the madder. "…without me giving you a piece of my mind about how stupid you were to go off on your own." 'You're such a fucking coward,' he chastised himself.
Kagome felt the anger rise within her like wildfire. Was that all he cared about? She was leaving forever and all he wanted was to bitch at her? "I've already told you that I had to do it that way," Kagome said tiredly.
"Yeah, and look what it brought," he argued. He had felt so useless just sitting around waiting and he wanted to make sure that it never happened again, he couldn't stand to face that feeling again. "All it brought was more trouble."
Kagome winced and it dissipated her anger. "I know," she whispered. "And I've already said that I'm sorry…"
'She should be sorry,' Inuyasha thought. 'Sorry that she was trying to leave them again without even giving him a chance to say…anything. "Well, it's just not going to cut it," he bit out harshly. "You stupidly put your life in danger again…"
The spark of anger flared once more and she glared at him. "If it was so stupid, then why did you stupidly offer Tetsusaiga to Sesshoumaru?" she demanded. "What I did was meant to put just my life in danger, not yours, not Sango or Mirouku, nobody but me, understand? So, you and your stupid honor shouldn't have interfered!" Kagome took a deep breath and tried to control her emotion. She had told herself she wouldn't blame Inuyasha. But damnit, why didn't he just let her go?
'Where did that come from?' Inuyasha wondered, stunned by the emotion of her declaration. "I wasn't going to let you die if I could stop it, and that's that!" he exclaimed.
Kagome lowered her head. That was Inuyasha. But why was she fighting him? She shouldn't be fighting anymore, she should be thanking him, and maybe all he really needed was a proper thank you and he'd let her go. But how could she ever really thank him for putting his life on the line time and time again? How could she ever really apologize for punishing him for not loving her? How could she thank him for being her friend, even when she didn't know that's what he was? She should thank him for being Inuyasha, her friend, whose honor and friendship would spur him to give up his own life so that she may live.
The answer came to her, almost unbidden. In leaving him forever, she was trying to prevent them from falling into any more danger because of her, but his honor would not let him leave it alone. She could sit him and get into the well, but then what? Would his honor let him leave her alone even if he had the map of the location of the other jewel fragments? Would he try to come after her? Despite her assurances to Sango, she wasn't sure that Jii-san's wards would really seal the well so he couldn't come after her.
The subduing spell…
Kagome came to a decision and looked up into Inuyasha's eyes. "I never said thank you, did I?" Kagome asked quietly.
Inuyasha saw something strange in her eyes, almost sad and he felt the wind of anger leave his sails. He didn't know what to say. "Well…" he started.
Kagome started to walk toward him. "Thank you, Inuyasha, for being…" she faltered, unable to continue her approach. Her heart felt as if it were breaking, even though it knew it was the right thing to do. It seemed as if she were getting ready to sever off a piece of herself and the rest of her body seemed to be warning her against the idea. "…a friend."
Inuyasha was quiet, unsure of where this was leading. He didn't know what to say. "Feh," he replied, trying to buy himself some time. "Whatever, wench," he continued deciding to play it like nothing had changed. It didn't seem like she was leaving anymore, even though something inside her had changed. He shoved that idea aside and crossed his arms across his chest. "That isn't going to get you off the hook."
Kagome shook her head and let out a slow breath. "No, you're right," she started walking toward him once again even though her heart was screaming at her to stop, that if she did this, it really would be the end. "I owe you more than that."
Inuyasha watched the distance close between them and felt as if he should be stepping back. "What are you doing?"
Kagome smiled wryly at him as she neared him. Inuyasha stood perfectly still, unsure of where she was going with this. She leaned up on her tip toes and placed a hand on his shoulders. "Thank you, Inuyasha," she spoke softly pressing her lips on his cheek.
"Wha-?" Inuyasha's voice trailed off in shock as he felt Kagome reach for the beads around his neck. "Kagome," he whispered as she gently pulled them off and over his head. He felt the pulse of magic leave the beads as they broke contact with his skin and a sudden shock roll through his body, as if he were feeling the part of himself be cut off. He felt vaguely empty, almost cold. He looked down at her, confused.
Her smile was enigmatic. "Good bye, Inuyasha," she whispered as she pulled back away from him.
She wrapped his hands around the beads and they were cold to his touch. 'Strange,' he thought absently. 'Had they ever felt cold before?' He couldn't remember.
"You're free," Kagome breathed, stepping back from him and continuing to head toward the well.
She was really leaving this time-she wasn't coming back. He knew that as clearly as he knew the particulars of her face or the tones of her voice. He stood in shock, unable to move or to think beyond the fact that she was leaving as she turned slowly on her heel and walked away…
Away from him…
Forever…
This had gone all wrong. He had meant to tell her…but he couldn't. No matter how much he tried he just couldn't make sense and it had turned into yet another argument when it should've been different…and there she was, walking away…again.
"Kagome…" he whispered.
When she didn't turn, didn't hear him, something inside him snapped. He blinked and felt the pain of Kikyo's betrayal as if it were fresh in his heart. She had turned away from him, as well. His father had left him and even though his mind knew it was because of death, his heart had still felt the pain as if he had had a choice in the matter, even his mother abandoned him. And his brother, the only flesh and blood he had left had turned his back on him, leaving him to fend for himself, knowing he was bound to the tree and yet leaving him locked in a dark abyss where all he had for company were his memories of betrayal upon betrayal. He closed his fist around the beads and felt the small teeth like bones bite into his flesh.
He had thought that had changed with Kagome, he could admit that now. He had hoped that he'd never feel the sting of abandonment again. She hadn't abandoned him when he turned human and put all their lives in danger just as she hadn't abandoned him when he turned into that soulless demon without Tetsusaiga and had ruthlessly killed all those men…Even if she didn't love him the way he loved her, she would never abandon him, he always felt connected to her, and the symbol of that connection had been the beads…and now…
He saw her turning away from him when he asked her about Kouga as if it were a moving painting behind his eyes. He watched her back as she escaped through the well to a time where he didn't understand her and didn't belong, a time where she didn't need him and could ignore him. That fucking well, he should have destroyed it!
He felt the anger and the frustration and even the fear rise and wrap around his heart. He couldn't lose her…not like this…not when he could've…if he'd have found the right words…but…damnit! She wouldn't listen!
He reached her just as she was passing his tree.
"We are not finished here, Kagome." He would make her listen.
Kagome stopped and seemed like she wanted to look at him, but her head didn't rise. She closed her eyes and walked around him. "I don't want to fight anymore, Inuyasha," she said tiredly. "You're free now," she repeated as if that were the answer to everything.
"You think you can just walk away?" he called after her. He stood before her again and she had to look up. "You think these beads really bound me? Really kept me anywhere?"
Kagome thought about his words but she was so weary-weary of the games and the arguments. She had realized that she was wrong to ask more of him that he could give her, and now that she had admitted defeat, she just wanted to run away somewhere and lick her wounds, try to forget him until it didn't hurt to think about him anymore. She had given him the only thing she could…his freedom. Didn't that mean anything to him? Couldn't he just leave her alone?
"Just let me go," she said.
"Aren't you going to ask me why I stayed?" he demanded. "The beads didn't bind me to your side, I could've gone off on my own, aren't you going to ask me why I didn't?"
She shook her head. "I just want to go home."
"Well, you can't," Inuyasha challenged. "Not until we finish this…"
"What more do you want from me, Inuyasha?!" she exclaimed suddenly.
Inuyasha scoffed. "What do I want from you?" he asked. "I want you to listen to me," he looked in her eyes. "I want you to stop fucking running away from me." He wanted to shake it into her, to make her see…he ached to kiss her. "What do you want from me, Kagome?!" Inuyasha yelled. "What the hell do you want me to do?" his eyes had gone red from the emotions going on under the surface and the raw emotion there made her really scared of him for the first time since she released him from the tree.
"I…" she faltered, unsure of what he was asking, knowing only that he was showing her something he hadn't shown anyone before…she could feel the raw emotions running rampant over him…over her…over them both. "What does it matter what I want?" she answered quietly, turning around. "This is the best for everyone."
Inuyasha was in her way before she had taken a step. "I won't be ignored this time, Kagome," he said warningly. "You won't turn your back on me, again."
"Again?!" Kagome exclaimed. "I have never…"
Inuyasha walked toward her and she backed off, walking backward. "How about now?" he asked low in his throat.
Kagome sighed. "Why are you doing this?"
"Answer the question," he insisted.
"What question!?" Kagome yelled. "What's gotten over you?" He was still walking, ever so slowly, his anger just barely controlled under the surface. At least, she thought it was anger. Inuyasha had been mad at her before, they had had dozens of arguments, but never like this…he had never looked at her with that raw power just under the surface of his eyes…Kagome almost tripped over the branch of the tree, then felt the bark at her back. "You're scaring me."
Inuyasha laughed cruelly. "Why? Because I'm not playing nice? Because I won't let you walk away from me this time?" he demanded, stopping just inches before touching her. He could smell the fear on her. But it wasn't the same type of scared that would've brought him running…it was a deeper fear…the fear you get when you stare down over an abyss, wondering what's on the bottom, and knowing that you had to let yourself drop.
"What do you want from me, Kagome?" he nearly whispered.
The answer came to her lips but she bit it back. "I want…"
"Do you want me to go back the way I was?" he asked, exasperated. "Should I go back to raiding villages to take what I want? Should I go back to being a monster for you?"
"For me?" she asked, surprised.
"Yes, for you, to make your life easier, to make it easier to turn your back on me and ignore me, should I be the monster again, Kagome?"
For all that he rarely spoke her name before, he seemed to repeat it with each sentence now. It served as a verbal slap, punctuating each word. She fought from flinching. Finally, the words sunk into her brain and she stood up straighter. "I do not…"
He took it as a sign that she was trying to get away, which just happened to be the furthest thing from her mind. He pushed her back against the tree, taking her arms in his hands and holding them in place. "You always turn your back on me." His voice was dangerously low and his eyes unwavering. "You always ignore me when you don't want to hear what I'm trying to say. You always make me the monster."
"Oh, do I?" Kagome asked sarcastically. "I make you do all the things you do?" She laughed, the sound bitter and cold. "I make you bully me around? I make you make me feel like I'm not worthy to wear this skin that once resembled the precious Kikyo?" she spat bitterly. She laughed and there was no humor in the sound. "Please tell me how I manage that, how I manage to make you hurt me, how I made you make me…" she heard the thickness to her voice signaling tears and she cut herself off to keep herself from hearing it as much as him. She closed her eyes from the glare in his. What was wrong with him? Why had taking the rosary off brought this reaction? Why was he doing this to her?
"Go on, if you're going to accuse me of something, you might as well accuse me of it all," he prompted. He tightened his hold of her hands to draw her attention. "Make you, what, Kagome?"
'Fall in love with you,' she answered silently. The thought calmed her and she managed to open her eyes and meet his stare without a single tear. "Please, just let me go, Inuyasha," she said tiredly. "I don't want to fight anymore, I just want to go home, if you want to be a monster, or a full demon, or whatever, you can now, you can be anything you want to be, just…" she sighed. "Just leave me out of it."
Inuyasha felt intoxicated by her scent. He could smell the tears threatening her eyes, the sweat glistening on her skin, the smoke from the fire within the hut still clinging to her hair and underneath it all, Kagome. He felt as if he were drowning in her scent and he was surprised to realize he had to lean away from her just slightly to look at her in the eyes.
"And what if I can't leave you out of it, Kagome?" he asked, his voice thick. "What if you're the very reason why I have become this thing that I never wanted to be again and can never become the thing I thought I wanted to be?"
Kagome was distracted by the pulse of emotion coming off Inuyasha in waves like heat. She could feel her heart beating at the pulse in her wrists where Inuyasha's hot hands still held her firmly against the tree. It felt as if he were blocking out all the fresh air and she just might suffocate, but it made her heady with the feel of him, as if he were taking over all of her senses…like a drug.
She fought off the feeling and clasped onto the meaning of his words she had managed to focus on. "I'm not going to let you blame me because you want to be a demon," she warned, her own voice low with the effort.
"No?" He held her tighter, easily shifting her wrists into the grasp of one hand pressing closer to her, and yet still not touching her anywhere but the wrists. She instinctively tried to shift away from his heat, his consuming aura, but she couldn't move. "I became this for you…" he brought up the beads to her line of sight. "I became a lap dog to the very people who had always hated me and shunned me…" He watched as Kagome looked down at the beads in his hand and there was a look there he couldn't place. Regret? Sadness? Emptiness? "I became your lap dog, Kagome, and you still don't think I should blame you for what I've become? You still think becoming a monster is what I want?" he asked.
It was Kagome's turn to break. "Oh, please!" she exclaimed angrily, struggling against his hands. "You've always been clear what you want with the Jewel, Inuyasha, don't deny it, you wanted to be a demon, a demon to go back to the life you had!" She scoffed. "You had no choice but to play nice, or you wouldn't get the jewel."
He lifted her hands over her head to still her struggles. "I can't feel the way I did before, I can't go back to being what I was!" he said spitefully. "With or without the jewel, no matter how much you seem to want me too, no matter how much easier that'll make it for you to turn your back on me again, to ignore what I've become and pretend I'm still what I was." He growled low in his throat as he fought over speaking his next words. "You've made sure of that."
"There you go again, you're still blaming me for everything and I won't stand here and take it anymore!" she yelled, her eyes going angry. "I did nothing to you." She struggled, wanting more than anything to run away before he could see the tears in her eyes, before he could smell them, before she broke down and told him everything he seemed determined to dredge up, everything she had tried to hide. But, why now? She summoned all her strength and pushed at him with all her might, but it was like pushing against a brick wall. "LET ME GO!"
He had seen the look in her eyes, the look that usually preceded a 'sit' command, and had braced himself for one but of course, it hadn't come. He gritted his teeth. "It is your fault because you've made me what I am now, you've changed me…" he tightened his grip ever so lightly on her wrists. "And I will not let you turn your back on me and ignore me again…you will face your creation, Kagome, you will face me!" 'Before you leave me,' he thought.
"Damnit!" she yelled, her head back, at the sky. "I have never turned my back on you!" the tears were coming to her eyes but more from frustration than pain. He wasn't hurting her…at least not physically. "Not ever, not even knowing what you wanted to become, not caring that you saw me as a nuisance and a shard detector…" her voice cracked but she continued. The dam had been broken and there was no stopping the torrent until it had all left her. "Not even when you ran to Kikyo over and over, not even when I saw how much you loved her, even though it…" she met his eyes and felt as the tears fell, unable to wipe them away since he still held her arms. "Even though it killed me, even though I would have if I could have, but I couldn't…" he let her go suddenly and Kagome fell away from the tree from the suddenness of the action. She stood, absently rubbing her wrists at the red marks where Inuyasha had held her. She averted her eyes from him. "You say that I've changed you, but I don't see how. You say that I turn away from you, but I never have…. not even now," she whispered. "Not even when I know it's the best thing for everyone."
She didn't know what she expected after her outcry, but silence had not been it. She was winded from her struggles, and exhausted from the confrontation, but the sudden silence coming from Inuyasha put her more on edge than his screaming had done. She had to say something. She wanted to turn away and run, but then she'd be proving him right, wouldn't she? What did he want, anyway?
The thought made her angry again and she stood up taller. "So, okay," she spoke angrily into the silence. "Say that this time I am running away, I am turning my back on you, so what?" He turned around to face her. She met his eyes defiantly. "What do you care if I turn my back on you? What do you care if I never come back, I'm just a nuisance to you, anyway, and I've already given you the location of the last few shards," she challenged. "And you've made it more than clear that I'm useless in a fight, so…" she met his eyes. "Let me walk away this once, Inuyasha…" her voice had gone soft again and she couldn't seem to muster up the anger anymore. "I've depended on you way more than you have ever depended on me…you don't need me anymore and…and I free you from your obligations to me… so just let me go…let me do this thing I know is right… now while I have the strength."
Their eyes held for what seemed like centuries, but was only mere moments. Inuyasha didn't so much as blink, but Kagome's eyes were tired, just like she was. She only had this little bit of strength left and if she didn't leave now, she would never be able to…she would convince herself that he did care even if he didn't…not the way she needed him to. She would convince herself to follow him anywhere, but she had to break the habit, and she had to do it now.
She closed her eyes against the shining gold of his stare. She took his silence for acceptance and inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly. She consciously told herself to turn around, to put one foot in front of the other. She opened her eyes and saw only The Well. She could feel Inuyasha's eyes boring into her but she told herself to step. She kept her thoughts neutral, focused on each step she took, not on what she was walking toward, not what she was leaving behind. She didn't even let herself hope that he would stop her.
She reached The Well in a place out of time. No future, no past, just the present, the now. 'Just sit on the edge,' she told herself silently, her body following orders. 'First the left, then the right leg,' she almost chanted. She mechanically lifted her legs up and over. She looked blankly into the depths. "Just jump," she whispered aloud.
+~+~+~
She felt the wind rush up to meet her as her body fell forward. The stale odor of stagnate air and dirt wafted up to greet her. 'Just a little more,' she thought, 'just a push….'
The feeling of weightlessness changed and instead of falling down, she felt suspended for a brief moment then seemed to fall upwards until she was pulled to a stop against something hard and…warm.
Her eyes shot open to look into Inuyasha's. "Wha-?"
Inuyasha's arm wrapped around her waist. "You never asked me why I didn't leave before you took off the beads," he spoke quietly.
Kagome frowned and the tears came to her eyes unbidden. She was so close…she leaned against him and was surprised to feel his other arm encircle her.
"So, ask already," he insisted.
Kagome sighed against him, her body still seemingly in mechanical mode. "Why didn't you leave me before, Inuyasha?" she whispered. She leaned back to look into his eyes. "Why are you still here?"
His eyes were like burnished gold, shining with what Kagome might have believed were unshed tears, if it weren't Inuyasha's eyes she was looking into. "No matter where you go I'll always follow."
"Why?" Kagome insisted.
"Because I've gotten used to you," he said. "Because I can't imagine a day going by with you not in it." He felt her try to pull away, but he held firm, pulling her so close in his embrace that she couldn't look up at him even if she tried. He was going to get this out if it killed him. Whatever she meant by her outburst earlier, if it meant what he hoped it meant or even if it didn't, he figured it was time to tell her…if she left him anyway, then what did it matter if it made her hate him? "Because I want to know everything about you. Because your smile, your voice…your scent is like second nature to me, like breathing out and breathing in." He faltered but still didn't let her look at him. If she did, he couldn't finish. "Because, you feel like home to me, because when I'm with you I feel like I'm clean again." He swallowed the tears that threatened to come. "Because of the way you cried for me," he said softly. "Because you believed in me," the words were awe filled, as if he were just coming to the realization himself. "Because with Kikyo I was a demon in love, with you…with you I'm human. You changed me…you woke up the human in me." He shook his head softly even if she couldn't see him. "Despite, maybe because you accepted the demon in me." He sighed and felt the warmth of tears on his shoulder, but she didn't look up at him as he spoke and he didn't want her to either. "Kikyo wanted me to become human for her and even though I thought it was what I wanted, I only wanted it to make her happy, but I never really wanted to be human so much until I looked in your eyes and I saw that you accepted me as a demon…that you still cared…" He savored the feel of her in his arms. "I never wanted to be human so much as when I thought you were dying and I couldn't die with you." He felt her intention to pull away from him, but he held firm.
"Because…" he faltered and the tears fell in earnest. "Because you changed my soul and I'm never, ever going to let you go…" he eased his hold on her and let her push back from him to look in his eyes. He looked down at her. "Because you're all I've got, and even though you might turn your back on me and reject me, I'll always be here." If she left him now, he would take the memory of one more kiss with him…he leaned down and softly touched his lips with hers. "And if you leave me, you should leave me knowing that I've never loved anyone as much as I love you."
Kagome could taste the salty tear from his kiss. She reached up and touched a hand to the tears falling from his eyes. She took it in between her fingers as if testing its validity, staring in awe. "Inuyasha, you're crying," she said softly, awe-struck.
"I don't care if you hate me, Kagome, and I wouldn't blame you, I don't even care if you think I'm a dirty half-breed that isn't worth half of you, or if you never want to speak of this again, just…" he looked at her earnestly. "Just don't leave me…" he pushed the beads back into her hands. "…don't change the way things were."
Kagome leaned in and kissed his cheek and he thought for sure he had lost her. He tightened his hold on her but knew he would let her go if she asked him to. It wasn't until her lips pressed softly on his skin again that he realized this was different from goodbye. She was touching her lips to the places where his tears had fallen. She ducked her head and pressed her lips to the edge of his chin and tasted the tear that had pooled there.
She looked up and met his eyes again and smiled. "I love you, Inuyasha," she spoke, her voice clear.
He didn't think, just brought his head down to claim her lips in a breathtaking kiss. She responded in kind and wrapped her arms around his neck. Finally, what seemed like a world later, Inuyasha hugged her to him fiercely, breaking the kiss. They stood that way in silence until he smelled the scent of tears. Kagome was crying. He pulled away from her and she smiled at him. "Why are you crying?" he asked.
She laughed suddenly through the tears at his look of worry and confusion. "And I thought I was doing you a favor by removing the beads," she said. She shook her head. "Did you really think I might hate you?" she asked.
Inuyasha's jaw worked. "I didn't know what to think…I still don't understand how it happened…" he lowered his head, his beautiful silver hair covering his face from her view. "…or how you could possibly feel love for me after everything I've done, how stupid I've been..."
She pushed his hair back from his face, letting her fingers run through it in wonder. "I think it was your hair that did it," she said teasingly.
"My hair?" he asked, looking at her in confusion. He smiled at the laughter in her eyes. "Ah."
"Yes," she said in mock seriousness. "It was your utter cuteness that did me in…" she teased, braiding her fingers through a strand of his hair. She reached up on her tiptoes to caress his ear. "And your ears…" she mumbled. She met his eyes, her expression serious but her eyes joking. She sighed as if giving up. "It's no use…I want your body." She nodded. "Bad."
He growled low in his throat at her words and pulled her closer to him still, pressing his body intimately against hers. She gasped and it was his turn to smile teasingly, although with a slightly fervent edge to it. "Your wish is my command, Lady Kagome," he said, his voice thick.
Kagome blushed and giggled as he nuzzled her neck. She pressed a hand on his chest to feel his heart beating. She pressed her cheek to it and sighed. "This is what I fell in love with, Inuyasha…your heart and your soul."
He searched her eyes, almost afraid of what he might find there. "Are you sure, Kagome? I…" he trailed off and shook his head, closing his eyes. "I don't know what I'm doing here," he admitted. "I only know that you're more than my mate in my heart, you're my everything, and I never want to let you go but I don't know what that will mean to you?"
Kagome thought about it. "It won't be easy," she admitted. She smiled at him and cradled herself in his arms. "But we'll work it out, Inuyasha, won't we?"
"Hm," he answered, content to feel her in his arms. Then, thinking of something, he pulled her away from him, but never removed his arms.
"Just remember who said it first, wench," he said, teasingly.
Kagome smiled at him sweetly. "Yeah. Me."
"What?!" he exclaimed. "That's what you think!" He took her chin in his hand and kissed her. "I distinctly remember telling you first…"
"Yeah?" she challenged, kissing him back. "And I remember you yelling at me a whole lot and nearly cutting off the flow of blood to my fingers."
Inuyasha frowned and took up her hands, looking at the fading red marks. Before Kagome could say anything, he half kissed, half-licked one hand, then the other. "I'm sorry," he spoke softly, cradling her hand.
She freed her hand from his grasp and used it to lift his face to her. "Don't be," she said, smiling. "You didn't really hurt me." She smoothed his hair away from his face. "But why did you react like that?" she asked.
"You were leaving," he answered and shrugged. "I don't know, I felt as if you were abandoning me…"
Kagome leaned into him and kissed him soundly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to abandon you, I thought I was doing all of you a favor, I thought you'd be safer without me here…" she admitted. "Now that I gave Sango that map with the location of the rest of the shards and you didn't need me anymore, I thought it was best for everyone…" she frowned. "Maybe it still is…" she looked back at the well. "I only bring bad things after you all."
'Map? Location of the rest of the shards?' He remembered that she had said something about giving them the location of the remaining jewel shards, but Inuyasha didn't care about that now. He wasn't going to let her go. Inuyasha pulled her back into his embrace. "Don't ever say that," he chastised. He looked her straight in the eyes. "Whatever evils come after us, we'll face them together," he smiled lopsidedly at her. "If there's anything you've taught me it's that anything can be accomplished with your friends, and Sango, Miroku, Kaede, even the brat, Shippou, they're all your friends and will stand by you no matter what, and as for me…" he trailed off and grinned wryly. "Hasn't anyone told you that I fight better with you here?" He sighed, finally admitting out loud what he had half-feared and always realized. "I'm no good without you." Finally spoken in the open, Inuyasha realized that he didn't fear the words of dependence as he thought he might…rather, they brought warm thoughts to his soul. He smiled down at her as he realized that he didn't need the beads to be connected to her, he had been connected to her even before he allowed himself to realize it.
Kagome laughed, despite herself. "Yeah, I had noticed that," she said, somewhat flippantly. She let Inuyasha's arms cradle her again. "I love you, Inuyasha," she sighed into his embrace.
Inuyasha leaned in and indulged himself of the sweet drug of her lips again. "Once we're mated we can never be apart again, understand?"
Kagome smiled and rose a brow at him. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"
"Marry?" Inuyasha rose a brow of his own. "Is it anything like asking you to be my mate?"
Kagome grinned. "You know it is."
Inuyasha smiled. "Then I guess I did."
Kagome leaned away from him, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Well, I don't know, that's a pretty big step…"
"What?!" Inuyasha exclaimed. He drew closer to her and noticing the mischievous glint in her eye, he rose both his brows. "Why you…"
"It's a big decision for a girl, plus Kouga said you guys mate for life, I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment…" she started to walk away from him.
"Kouga?!" Inuyasha exclaimed. He pounced on her and dragged her to the ground.
"Sure," she continued as if he didn't have her pinned to the ground in a most disconcerting way. "I have to weigh all my options, you know," she teased. "Kouga can offer me leadership of an entire wolf pack, what can you offer me?"
Inuyasha growled. "This," he answered gruffly, leaning in and kissing her nearly senseless. When he finally broke the kiss, he smiled contently at the look on her face, then grew serious. "And my heart, Kagome," he shrugged as best he could while supporting his weight on his arms above her. "All of me."
Kagome smiled tenderly and reached up to caress his face. "That's more than enough," she spoke.
Inuyasha smiled, then rose a brow. "Hey," he narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you going to give me an answer or not?"
Kagome looked up at him and smiled sweetly. "Make me."
Inuyasha grinned and Kagome saw the tips of his fangs. "Gladly," he answered, lowering his lips to claim hers once again.
+~+~
Miroku grinned at Sango as they came into the clearing where the well stood and where, just beside it, Kagome and Inuyasha were laughing together on the ground. "You'd think they'd know better than to do that in the open," Miroku said laughingly.
Sango smiled as she heard Inuyasha yelp playfully as Kagome pulled his hair. She shook her head. "I think it's about damn time they got it out in the open."
Miroku laughed, then grew serious. "So…" he said, nearing Sango.
"Yeah?" Sango asked, refusing to back off but frowning.
Miroku stopped a mere inch from her. He raised his hand ever so slowly until it was right between them, palm up. "Pay up."
Sango narrowed her eyes at him. "You weren't serious about that bet were you?" she asked.
"Of course I was serious and you know it," Miroku answered.
"Bah," Sango exclaimed, walking away.
"Well, we might be able to work something else out if you don't have the cash…" he left the sentence trail off suggestively.
"How about I don't pay you and I don't kill you," Sango asked sweetly. "Sound fair?"
Miroku sweat dropped. 'Life with that woman,' he decided, 'was never going to be easy.' At the thought, he grinned and trotted after her. "Let's negotiate this, Sango!" he called out. "I'm sure we can come to some agreement!"
+~+~+~+~+~+~
Finis
+~+~+~+~
A/N: Okay, yes, this is the end, but…well, it's not really the end. I have an epilogue in the works *glares at Puck who is playing with ideas* and hopefully I'll get to writing it soon. I hope you all liked this ending and I hope that it was worth the wait to see them together. I felt the fluff was a little, I don't know, fluffy, but I couldn't seem to write it in any other way. Y'all still review, won't you? And let me know what you think? Plus, this is your last chance to review and tell me if there's some plot hole or something so that I can fill it in the epilogue.
I'm REALLY anxious to hear what you guys think about the end here, so PLEASE review, k?! Pretty please? With sugar on top?
I'm particularly interested in any comments, thoughts, inquires or the like about the way that the confrontation transpired between Inu and Kag. I was going for a natural course of events so if it seems contrived, please let me know…hopefully with some suggestions as to what parts in particular… *grin*
Oh, and there's some references to lyrics from other songs in the chapter…I'll give you extra props if anyone can spot them and tell me where they're from!
Oh, one more thing…there's a line in this chapter that the ever wonderful LilacRose gave me when I was stumped and didn't know what to open with. Inu's first spoken words to Kag are courtesy of LilacRose.