For anyone who has never read a fanfic I place these words. These are not my characters. Paramount owns any and all Star Trek Next Generation or Excalibur characters. I am just a writer that likes to see what kind of trouble that they can get in under my guidance.
Out of the Frying Pan
"Mac, you do realize that this officially makes us the laughing stock of the fleet?" Captain Elizabeth Shelby indulged in a tone that she only reserved for her husband, she wailed.
"Eppy, it's not that bad." Truthfully Mackenzie Calhoun really could empathize with his wife, but considering there was only so much commiseration that could be offered over subspace, he was trying to placate her enough to get some sleep. Unfortunately he was not having very much success at preventing the storm that was brewing on the Trident.
"Mac, get real. Do I have to tick off everything that makes it that bad?"
There was a sigh from Calhoun, felt more than heard. "No."
"Let me start with the most normal thing around here, us. Mac, how many married couples do you know of that command their own ships and are never apart more than a couple of weeks?" She had either not heard, or was pointedly ignoring her husband. "Then there is my first officer. Kat Mueller is normal from the outside, until you take into account that you and she were lovers at one point. These two things are enough to get strange looks. Jellico resents our assignments, but at least in that I find a measure of comfort. Let's now look at my bridge crew. My security chief and his best friend, and with whom he may or may not be involved with, are both displaced from their time, and both of them served with the infamous Captain James T. Kirk, I am not even going to mention their physical appearance. My science officer is an elf who, because of his biology, has more offers for sexual partners than the aforementioned Captain. My assistant security chief looks like a big white gorilla. And now I have another one in the form of my temporary second officer. That is just my bridge. Shall we look at yours?"
Mac started to protest that she did not need to but after all the years that they had been together, he had learned that when Eppy got rolling, the only way for it to really end was to let her put the brakes on herself. So again he sighed and let her continue to rant. After all he felt that if she was this riled up it was better for her to take it out on him in this manner than for her to let it build until she exploded.
"You have a first officer that is wholly both sexes. S/he is mated to your CMO, who is a Vulcan. They have a son together. Your conn officer is part, for lack of a better term, God. He has even stopped Q in his tracks before. Your ops officer is the daughter of an immortal, and said immortal is also a member of your crew."
She continued in this vein for several minutes, listing every member of both crews that she could think of that either had a very shaded past and had only gotten a fresh start on one of their ships, or were so different in looks, race or philosophy from the norm in the fleet meaning that yet again the only chance they had of a 'normal' career was either on the Trident or Excalibur. Mac had to admit he was impressed. Not only by her memory but also in the fact that she was right. The two of them really did command the Noah's Arcs of the Fleet.
"Mac we already are a freak show. Now I have to be saddled with another one simply because Nechayev and Jellico think it will do him good. I swear Mac, if I didn't have a belief in a supreme being before, I do now. And that Being has a very sick sense of humor."
Mac had been waiting patiently, which for him was a very hard thing to do. Finally he felt that she had begun to hit the point where she was beginning to repeat herself, but she hadn't begun to slow down. He decided that it was time to put an end to it. He knew that she needed to vent her frustration, but he frankly had had enough of it. She was simply upset at what hoop the fleet had just put her through. Not that Mac did not understand her situation, he did. He also knew her well enough to know that she really did not want to get rid of her crew just because they were different from what she thought Starfleet officers should be. She actually did command a crew that was by the book before, and found she did not fit as well as she liked, which is why she had been offered the Excalibur when she was commissioned to replace the one that blew up. Now she had the Trident, which was something in between the two extremes. She just did not like this newest charge, Commander Thomas Riker, transporter accident double of Captain William Riker. The man's simple existence had been what Eppy had focused on during her rant. She seemed to miss what Mac would have focused on; the man was ex-Maquis and had been an SI operative for the last several years. No, Eppy's only concern had been who he was, a second incarnation of Will Riker. When Mac thought about it, she might be right to be worried. Her and Will did NOT get along well. They worked great together, but they could barely tolerate each other at times. Finally he decided that he would put the brakes on himself. If the man really was a carbon copy of Will the odds were better than even that they would kill each other within a week, if not, this could actually be a boon in disguise. As well as Will and her could work together when they had to, maybe if Tom's personality worked with hers it could be a good thing. Mac realized that she had been going on for a solid ten minutes. "Calm down Eppy. That's enough. I know you and Will Riker do not get along, but Tom is not Will. They may have been at one point but they have lived very different lives for the last twenty or so years. Even if the man really is still exactly like Will you will still be able to work with him long enough to get though the next two months. You did it with Will and I know you can do it now. And think about it, this time the roles are reversed. You have the chair now and I somehow doubt that you wouldn't use it to your advantage."
"Grozit, Mac. You have a valid point. But I still am thoroughly ticked that Jellico and Nechayev are doing this to me. I sometimes think they only want to find out how much weirdness can exist on one ship, and they want to see how much it takes to drive a Captain completely nuts from it."
"Hey, you can put up with me, and since I know that I fall into the weird category I can assume that you can take a lot more."
"That I can." Mac could see the fire dying in her eyes. She was still upset, but at least now she wasn't on the verge of throttling the next person she saw, just because they were there. "You are right, I can get through this. So, now that you have managed to make me think again, I will say good night. I'll see you in two days, after I meet the Titan to receive my new XO."
"I love you Eppy, good night."
"Good night Mac."
Tom Riker had been pleasantly surprised at the last seven days. Not only did he get to log in another thirty odd hours of flight time he had been lucky enough to get to certify for his bridge officer's certificate. It was strange when he did though. Commander LeBeau had been able to proctor him through most of the exams, but in two sections Deanna had been the one to monitor him, and not just any two either, engineering and conn. Both of those entailed making decisions that placed officers and/or the ship in possibly fatal situations. In a way it made sense that Deanna administered these sections, she could read his reactions better than anyone. The rest of his time had been spent in the company of the Rikers and LeBeau. Tina had been a charming partner and by the time he was ready to depart he began to feel that it would definitely be possible to learn to be only be Deanna's friend. Tina went a long way toward reminding him that he was still quite interested in the opposite sex. Now all he had to do was face his first Fleet assignment in over fifteen years. He knew the job, but could he do it?
"You'll do wonderfully." A musical and very welcome voice entered the transporter room.
"Deanna," Tom guarded his mind; he figured she had read him enough to hear what he had been thinking. "What is that?" He pointed to what looked like an old fashioned crash helmet under her arm.
"It's a present, and no to the unspoken question written on your face, I did not read you when I came in. I did feel the understandable jitters. But the rest of it came from your facial expression and my own experience. Will wore the same look you just had when we first stepped foot here, and he had several temporary commands, including both the D and E before he took this ship. As for my experience, that is where the present comes in."
Tom looked at the helmet. He just could not fathom why she would give him something like this. "I don't understand. Not that I don't appreciate the thought, but why the helmet?"
"You know the D crashed, but you haven't been told the whole thing. The why is not as important but when she went down, Will was in command, and I was at the conn. A few years later we went through another crisis that required an entire armada to handle the situation. I was fortunate enough to get a chance to take command of a ship for a while, the Marco Polo. When I took her, Will gave me this as a joke. Over the years it has come to mean to me that even in the midst of a crisis that humor and good friends are both part of being a good commander, not just being able to make the decisions. Will has wanted me to get rid of it for years. I never could. Now that I have rediscovered you, I think that you should be the one to have it."
"Thank you. Are you sure you want to part with this? I thought that it looked lovely next to the piece of ships hull and Bat'leth."
"Not you too. I like my little corner. Now off with you. You have a job to do, and so do I, the same one as a matter of fact. Now go." She embraced him, "and good luck."
Standing in front of Tom was a strawberry blonde wearing Captain's pips. If Tom were to categorize her expression it stood between a gape and curious amusement. Not exactly what he had been expecting. First, he realized that she would momentarily think that he was Will and have to remind herself that he wasn't. As the gape resolved itself, she began to assume as detached air of authority that set off warning bells in Tom. There was going to be trouble in this assignment, he just knew it. "Permission to come aboard?"
"Welcome Commander Riker. I am Elizabeth Shelby. I'm the boss around here." While her initial demeanor had softened, there was still a bit of standoffishness to the woman. "Since I am not known for keeping my mouth shut I will start by telling you that you are going to have to prove to me that you are not another Commander Riker that I had so many problems with. Until then, there will be very little that you and I will find to talk about. So, with that in mind, tell me about yourself."
While not the most pleasant of meetings, by the time Captain Shelby had shown him around Tom began to get the feeing that Will had set him up by telling him that they would get along well. Tom was sure he would make it through the assignment, but he wasn't sure if he would still be sane. She was a remarkable woman and was definitely at home with her command. She did not however come out of the meeting with a complete belief that he and Will were not the same person. She fortunately did agree to give it some time. Tom noticed that she was very careful not to put him on the same watch as her when she gave him the rotation schedule.
Alone in his quarters after she left he began to organize his things. One thing he noticed was that she pointedly ignored the helmet tucked under his arm. Oh, she had looked at it and returned her gaze to it several times, but she never said a word. He had about five hours before his first watch, so he took the time to get a little rest.