Shade: New fic, new idea, new idiocy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or Judge Judy
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Announcer: Welcome to the courtroom of Judge Yami! I you've got a beef, don't put it in your own hands, put your beef in the
hands of Judge Yami.

(camera goes to the baliff standing infront of extras from Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Baliff: All rise! (everyone stands up, baliff laughs) Ha ha! Made you rise!

(Yami walks in wearing full judge uniform)

Yami: Sit sit sit. Bring in the first case!

Announcer: Our first case is Yugi Motou versus Weevil Underwood. (those two walk up the aisle)

Yami: Yugi, what is your case?

Yugi: I accuse Weevil of being a homosexual Amish child abuser!

(audience gasps in silence)

Yami: How do you plead, Weevil?

Weevil: First, can I ask you a question, Yami?

Yami: Thats JUDGE Yami to you, poofter!

Weevil: Alright then, JUDGE Yami, can I ask you a question, please?

Yami: (sighs) Ok, go ahead.

Weevil: Do you have any Amish in you?

Yami: No, no I do not.

Weevil: Would you like some?

(audience laughs, Yami bangs his gavel)

Yami: Shut your cake holes! I have to decode that for insults... hmm...

(Seto Kaibas evil half stumbles up the aisle)

Yugi: Dude, you have more chin's then a chinese phonebook!

Weevil: (to Yugi) Let's call him 'Bakery' from now on!

Yugi: Why 'Bakery'?

Weevil: Because he has so many rolls!

(Evil Kaiba cries)

Evil Kaiba: Waah! Waah! I came here to protest Weevils innocence!

Weevil: Hooray!

Yami: (suddenly realises Weevils meaning) Are you coming onto me?

Weevil: Took you long enough. So how about it, big boy?

Yami: Not until the case is over. Yugi, bring in your first witness.

Yugi: Thanks. Ok, bring in... FIDEL CASTRO!!!

(Fidel Castro walks in and sits in the witnesses stand)

Fidel: Hola.

Yami: Speak english, or I will put you in contempt of court!

Fidel: (puts on a gay english accent, like Bakuras) Right-o then, old chap.

Yugi: (is now in a full tuxedo) Mr Castro, (glares at Fidel) if THAT is your real name, do you know Weevil Underwood?

Fidel: (starts crying) Yo no lo sé bien, (sobs) yo no lo veo, (sobs louder) tengo nunca lo reunió aún, pero... (breaks down in tears)

Yugi: Thats ok, your tears prove more then any real evidence could ever hope to achieve. Prosecution rests.

Yami: (is changing clothes to tight leather) Hmm... very interesting... I'm going to have to get an outside opinion on this...

Yugi: Huh?

Yami: Bring in Tea!

(Tea walks in)

Tea: Yes, Yam-Yam?

Yami: (stands up, turns back to Tea and bends over) Does my butt look to tight in this?

(Tea, Weevil, Fidel, Mai, Bakura and Rex are oggling his butt)

Tea: Mmm mmm, might good looking. Not too tight at all. Just the perfect amount.

Yami: Excellent! Back to the case! Weevil, feel free to question Fidel.

Weevil: Very good, tight ass.

Yami: Was that an opinion of my harshness?! I do not allow freedom of speech in my court!

Weevil: I was commenting on your tight ass! Now may I question Fidel Castro?

Yami: Hmm.... yes. Then compliment my ass again.

Weevil: Ok! Now, Mr Castro, if that is your-

Yugi: OBJECTION!

Yami: What is it?

Yugi: He's copying me!

Yami: Sustained. In fact, Weevil, if you use a single letter that Yugi has used, then you will automatically lose this case!

Weevil: Q?! Z?!

Yugi: Let's see you question him now!

Weevil: Q zz, qz z qzz zq zqqzqzq zqzqzz?

Fidel: (perplexed)

Yami: Answer the question, El Presidente!

Fidel: Please repeat the question.

Weevil: (sighs) Q zz, qz z qzz zq zqqzqzq zqzqzz?

Fidel: ¿El perdón?

Weevil: Oh f*ck it.

Yami: Weevil Underwood, you lose this case! I sentance you to be mauled by an angry man in a gorilla suit!

Weevil: What man in a gorilla suit? (a man in a gorilla suit charges at Weevil) ARGH! (Weevil runs away, followed by the gorilla suited man)

Yami: Case closed, court dismissed, bring in the dancing Duel Monsters!

(various Deul Monsters walk in dancing)

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Shade: Ok, I owe a lot to the Amanda Show for that. Read and review!