Willow sat on the corner of the sofa. Digging her nails into her palms. So
desperately trying to conceal the all-consuming pain that was ripping
through her body. Almost sending her plummeting backwards into
unconsciousness again.
It had been so scary. Like living in death and fear. Hatred ripping into her form all sides like a million poison tipped daggers. Dawn had been rambling on about Aurora again. Willow could help but feel warm every time Dawn mentioned the concert. Something about it just made her want to get up and shake of the vision of Tara that she'd been forced to endure. Her thoughts had consisted of how much everything had hurt and these strange, yet painful, things as well. She had remembered things that she didn't even know she had buried in her mind.
She decided it wasn't memories, but something else. Maybe some stray magick left in her system. But she couldn't be sure. It's like she was sharing her sub-conscious with another. Someone who was pumping painful denial into her mind.
So cruel. How can these powers that be, be so incredibly nasty as to inflict this kind of torture on her after she'd had her true love ripped screaming and blood-stained from her arms? So many questions that could be posed, but life's not supposed to be wasted on thinking about the 'why's and 'what-if's. If Tara had taught her anything it would have to have been that.
But how could Tara expect Willow to move on so soon? Her body was barely cold and there she was telling Willow that her heart was strong enough to love again. It barely seemed fair. Almost like a futile attempt at exiling the guilt that refused to cease plaguing her heart. It didn't seem so futile to Willow though.
She had permission? Like Tara wanted her to let go and be with someone else? But there was no someone else. Maybe it was like a premonition for the future. Maybe Willow was to find the girl that she was meant to move on with soon. She could almost feel the vitality of this thought spreading through her body. Stemming at her heart and branching out into her limbs with each beat of her increasingly light heart.
"I can do this." Willow smiled to herself and was suddenly torn from her retrospective stupor by Dawn and her quizzical stare.
"Do what?" Dawn was puzzled at what had caused Willow's outburst into the quiet stillness of the now dark lounge room. Buffy, Anya and Xander had long since returned home. Anya and Xander had then proceeded to edge their way out of the house when Buffy began her tirade on how Willow should try to see past everything that was clouding her vision and get back into life. She had a point. They, at least, had the ability to escape it and return to their place. Dawn and Willow had to stare and pretend like they were listening.
Now Buffy, Dawn and Willow had settled themselves down in the lounge watching old horror movies where vampires had no feelings or skin tone. Buffy knew she longed for the touch. Her long lost love. The truest and most pure of all things. But now he'd left her, just like all of the rest, and she was resolved to get down and dirty with some stud, one-night-stand style, at the Aurora concert. Well maybe not AT the concert, but at least someone she picked up there.
"The concert.. I'm going to come. definitely. are they the band that play Shades of Black?" Willow's statement and question brought Buffy back to reality-land.
"Shades of Black? Oooh the one about the guardian devil? I love that." Buffy grinned at her best friend. The recuperation process obviously starting to take effect, she could see the light, that had dulled since Tara's death, shining back out from her eyes.
"Yeah." Dawn agreed and shoved a few more pieces of popcorn in her mouth. Engrossed in the fake vampire trying to bite into the virgin sacrifice's throat. How typical.
Willow lit up the room with her first warm smile in what felt like forever. She lent back against the rear of the couch and felt the throbbing subside from her head. A song, not an Aurora song, well you never know these days with the covers that bands are pumping out like they're going out of fashion, but a song nonetheless, was starting to play in her mind. She recognised it but couldn't find anything that it caused her brain to recall. No memory attached to it. Just rhythm and melody. The lyrics stood out in her mind and she all but broke out into song as she hummed the famous tune.
Words like unsurpassed clarity drifted through her cleared mind. Nothing mattered but remembering the song in its entirety.
'You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours
True colours are beautiful,
Like a Rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours
True colours are beautiful,
Like a Rainbow'
"True colours." She muttered to herself. Cyndi Lauper. How ironic. Irony had no rhyme or reason to it in Willow's mind. It need not. Just another word. So. indescribable how warm she felt inside when the song had finished playing through her head.
"Or not." Dawn grinned at her. No clue as to what was going thought Willow's thought at that moment, but the smile that remained stoutly gracing her sweet features said more than anything else ever could.
"Kennedy Lewis played that song at the last Aurora concert. I watched it live on MTV. It was the most. wow. thing ever. She has the best voice. I wish I could sing like that." Dawn groaned enviously and combed her hair with her fingertips. Twirling, spinning, twisting, like children on a ride at the park. So innocent.
"Kennedy? That's a cool name." Buffy rolled her eyes and grimaced with the sarcasm in her tone.
"Well there's Kennedy, Cera and Maria. And Michael. he's sooooooo fine." Dawn continued. Obviously obsessed with the drummer.
"I like it. The name I mean." Willow spoke up. Some strange sense of loyalty gripped at her gut. She was just intending to sound like there was nothing to it, however she had this odd sensation in the pit of her stomach. Something of a connection almost. "Kennedy."
"Sounds more like a last name!" Buffy cried out. Sending all three girls into a fit of giggles.
"Oh well." Dawn sighed and rested her palm against her cheek, leaning her elbow on the arm of the sofa. Becoming entranced by the mediocre film once again.
They all then allowed their eyes to drift back to the television. The peculiar feeling of belonging settled onto Willow's heart. Kennedy. so. familiar. Yet not at the same time. Something she'd have to work out later. For then she was content in just being normal, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
It had been so scary. Like living in death and fear. Hatred ripping into her form all sides like a million poison tipped daggers. Dawn had been rambling on about Aurora again. Willow could help but feel warm every time Dawn mentioned the concert. Something about it just made her want to get up and shake of the vision of Tara that she'd been forced to endure. Her thoughts had consisted of how much everything had hurt and these strange, yet painful, things as well. She had remembered things that she didn't even know she had buried in her mind.
She decided it wasn't memories, but something else. Maybe some stray magick left in her system. But she couldn't be sure. It's like she was sharing her sub-conscious with another. Someone who was pumping painful denial into her mind.
So cruel. How can these powers that be, be so incredibly nasty as to inflict this kind of torture on her after she'd had her true love ripped screaming and blood-stained from her arms? So many questions that could be posed, but life's not supposed to be wasted on thinking about the 'why's and 'what-if's. If Tara had taught her anything it would have to have been that.
But how could Tara expect Willow to move on so soon? Her body was barely cold and there she was telling Willow that her heart was strong enough to love again. It barely seemed fair. Almost like a futile attempt at exiling the guilt that refused to cease plaguing her heart. It didn't seem so futile to Willow though.
She had permission? Like Tara wanted her to let go and be with someone else? But there was no someone else. Maybe it was like a premonition for the future. Maybe Willow was to find the girl that she was meant to move on with soon. She could almost feel the vitality of this thought spreading through her body. Stemming at her heart and branching out into her limbs with each beat of her increasingly light heart.
"I can do this." Willow smiled to herself and was suddenly torn from her retrospective stupor by Dawn and her quizzical stare.
"Do what?" Dawn was puzzled at what had caused Willow's outburst into the quiet stillness of the now dark lounge room. Buffy, Anya and Xander had long since returned home. Anya and Xander had then proceeded to edge their way out of the house when Buffy began her tirade on how Willow should try to see past everything that was clouding her vision and get back into life. She had a point. They, at least, had the ability to escape it and return to their place. Dawn and Willow had to stare and pretend like they were listening.
Now Buffy, Dawn and Willow had settled themselves down in the lounge watching old horror movies where vampires had no feelings or skin tone. Buffy knew she longed for the touch. Her long lost love. The truest and most pure of all things. But now he'd left her, just like all of the rest, and she was resolved to get down and dirty with some stud, one-night-stand style, at the Aurora concert. Well maybe not AT the concert, but at least someone she picked up there.
"The concert.. I'm going to come. definitely. are they the band that play Shades of Black?" Willow's statement and question brought Buffy back to reality-land.
"Shades of Black? Oooh the one about the guardian devil? I love that." Buffy grinned at her best friend. The recuperation process obviously starting to take effect, she could see the light, that had dulled since Tara's death, shining back out from her eyes.
"Yeah." Dawn agreed and shoved a few more pieces of popcorn in her mouth. Engrossed in the fake vampire trying to bite into the virgin sacrifice's throat. How typical.
Willow lit up the room with her first warm smile in what felt like forever. She lent back against the rear of the couch and felt the throbbing subside from her head. A song, not an Aurora song, well you never know these days with the covers that bands are pumping out like they're going out of fashion, but a song nonetheless, was starting to play in her mind. She recognised it but couldn't find anything that it caused her brain to recall. No memory attached to it. Just rhythm and melody. The lyrics stood out in her mind and she all but broke out into song as she hummed the famous tune.
Words like unsurpassed clarity drifted through her cleared mind. Nothing mattered but remembering the song in its entirety.
'You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours
True colours are beautiful,
Like a Rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours
True colours are beautiful,
Like a Rainbow'
"True colours." She muttered to herself. Cyndi Lauper. How ironic. Irony had no rhyme or reason to it in Willow's mind. It need not. Just another word. So. indescribable how warm she felt inside when the song had finished playing through her head.
"Or not." Dawn grinned at her. No clue as to what was going thought Willow's thought at that moment, but the smile that remained stoutly gracing her sweet features said more than anything else ever could.
"Kennedy Lewis played that song at the last Aurora concert. I watched it live on MTV. It was the most. wow. thing ever. She has the best voice. I wish I could sing like that." Dawn groaned enviously and combed her hair with her fingertips. Twirling, spinning, twisting, like children on a ride at the park. So innocent.
"Kennedy? That's a cool name." Buffy rolled her eyes and grimaced with the sarcasm in her tone.
"Well there's Kennedy, Cera and Maria. And Michael. he's sooooooo fine." Dawn continued. Obviously obsessed with the drummer.
"I like it. The name I mean." Willow spoke up. Some strange sense of loyalty gripped at her gut. She was just intending to sound like there was nothing to it, however she had this odd sensation in the pit of her stomach. Something of a connection almost. "Kennedy."
"Sounds more like a last name!" Buffy cried out. Sending all three girls into a fit of giggles.
"Oh well." Dawn sighed and rested her palm against her cheek, leaning her elbow on the arm of the sofa. Becoming entranced by the mediocre film once again.
They all then allowed their eyes to drift back to the television. The peculiar feeling of belonging settled onto Willow's heart. Kennedy. so. familiar. Yet not at the same time. Something she'd have to work out later. For then she was content in just being normal, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.