Act 5: The Himura Wives Club- Part Two
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is still not mine. I'm just borrowing the cast for my own evil and twisted purposes. I promise to return them when I'm done! Honest!
Notes: Gomen for the delay between this and Act 4! I hit a brief dry spell, then read some of Talaco's fics, and realized my mission to cure Seissouhen Depression Syndrome is not yet over! *holds her pen up dramatically* I will emerge victorious against this overwhelming angst, that I will! *ducks a few bricks from friends* As for Shinta's reaction to finding out Kenji's depressed, well, the kid just lost both his parents. It's not unlikely for him to be badly depressed. But don't worry, the next chapter will deal, at least, in part, with that. This chapter will help break some of the seriousness from Act 4, then we'll have Act 6 back in Tokyo and be somewhat serious, and then we return to chaos in Kyoto! Aoshi with a daughter? What is this Kumiko-chan like? Mwa ha. Anyways! Back to the fun!
"Ne, Tomoe-san, are you really not jealous at all?"
Kaoru inquired. The two women floated comfortably in the skies above Kyoto,
comparing notes about the redheaded rurouni they shared.
"I'm perfectly content with it. After all, I have
a baby brother to watch out for, and I've been reunited with my fiancee."
The older ghost smiled. "Did Kenshin ever tell you about that?"
"Well, he did tell me about you, but he didn't go
into much detail about anything else." Kaoru listened to the bustle and
activity in the city below.
"Before I met Kenshin, I was engaged." Tomoe grinned
at the recollection. "But Akira-san was killed before we were wed. He gave
Kenshin the first half of his scar."
Kaoru nodded slightly. It was one of the brief,
semi-serious lulls in the conversation the two had been having. Several
unlikely secrets about the poor redhead had been shared, as well as many
laughs at his expense.
"I don't see why he was the only one who liked my
cooking." Kaoru scowled. "Everyone else called it toxic, nasty, slow torture...."
"Ano... have you ever tried HIS cooking?" Tomoe
raised an eyebrow.
"Hai. They all liked HIS better than mine." Kaoru
pouted, crossing her arms. After a moment, she glanced at Tomoe, who had
a rather surprised expression on her face.
"No offense, but your cooking must have been extremely
terrible for anyone to prefer Kenshin's over it." Tomoe stated.
"Eh?" It was Kaoru's turn to look surprised. "Shinta's
cooking is excellent compared to mine. Everyone liked it."
"It's just... when we were together..." Tomoe made
a disgusted face. "He tried to cook before the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu incident
in the kitchen... and I swear it was the most disgusting thing I had ever
tasted. He had dumped nearly all the spices into it."
Kaoru stared, trying to comprehend this new bit
of insight. Her rurouni hadn't been able to cook? Unbelievable!
"I had to teach him how to do it properly, since
he insisted on helping around the house so much." Tomoe smiled slightly.
"And that led up to his thinking that Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu would help him
cook even better."
Kaoru chuckled. In spite of Tomoe describing the
scene, she still had a hard time picturing a positively stupefied Kenshin
in the middle of a trashed kitchen.
"Actually, Kaoru-san-" Tomoe began with a slight
grin. "When my baby brother captured you, I was concerned for his safety
when he ate your cooking."
One well-placed punt later, Tomoe kissed dirt. "My
cooking is not THAT bad!" Kaoru flailed overhead. Tomoe floated back up
a moment later, sporting a large sweatdrop at the raccoon girl's reaction.
"Ano, Kaoru-san, that was supposed to be a joke."
"Oh. Gomen nasai." Kaoru looked sheepish.
"I've been wondering, Kaoru-san." Tomoe picked up
the conversation again. "Kenshin and I weren't together long enough for
an anniversary. How was he about those?"
Kaoru's eyebrow twitched. "He was fine at first.
Romantic dinner, some nice little present, excellent night in bed.... even
with the oro..."
The two girls giggled again at that.
"... But then he started to forget, and make up
bad excuses. Or he would be out wandering. One time he got our anniversary
and my birthday mixed up!" Kaoru sweatdropped. "In spite of how meek he
always acts, the man is a raging pervert!"
"Tell me something I don't know." Tomoe raised an
eyebrow. "He 'accidentally' ran into the bathhouse on me at least a dozen
times-"
"THAT HENTAI DID THAT TO ME WHEN WE FIRST MET!"
Kaoru shouted in surprise. "Shinta wa hentai baka!" She flailed.
"Believe me. It wasn't accidental in the least."
Tomoe sighed.
"I lost count of how many times he's run into the
bath on me." Kaoru scowled. "I wonder if that's something ELSE Hiko taught
him."
The two briefly imagined Hiko showing his baka desshi
the best way to run in on a naked woman and get away with it.
".. I wonder if Hiko also taught him all those interesting
tricks for in bed...?" Tomoe pondered aloud. Kaoru paled.
"Shinta told me that Hiko's method of teaching would
be to demonstrate the maneuver, and have him do it right after..."
Both women turned several shades greener at the
implications.
While finding the ground below very interesting,
Kaoru spotted a familiar pair of faces in the crowds below.
"Hey! There's Misao-chan! And Aoshi-!" Kaoru studied
the pair.
"Friends?" Tomoe asked.
"Well, yes for Misao, and not quite with Aoshi."
Kaoru noted. "Wow, Misao put on a lot of weight..."
"She looks pregnant to me." Tomoe observed.
"And who's that little girl on Aoshi's shoulders?"
Kaoru wondered before making the most logical assumption. "Kawaii!!!! Misao
must have finally gotten through to Aoshi!"
The two ghosts followed overhead as the couple reached
the outskirts of Kyoto.
"Hurry back, Aoshi!" Misao took the little raven-haired
girl off the former Oniwabanshu's shoulder. "And don't forget the vase!"
"I won't." Aoshi replied flatly, bending over to
give Misao a brief kiss on the cheek.
"'Tousan! Don't forget me!" The chibi waved happily.
Aoshi obliged the little one with a brief kiss to the forehead.
"You behave for your okaasan, Kumiko-chan." Aoshi
told the girl. Kaoru was fairly certain hell must have frozen over.
"Hai! Come back soon, 'tousan!" Kumiko waved.
The two ghosts watched from afar, both grinning.
"How adorable!" Kaoru cooed. "Such a cute little
girl! And she's Aoshi's-!"
"Children are so lovely." Tomoe sighed. "So innocent,
so adorable!"
"Hai." Kaoru nodded. "Kenji was the cutest little
boy when he was that young. He looks so much like his father!"
"I wonder what Kenshin looked like when he was little-?"
Tomoe wondered.
"Probably even more adorable than he is now!" Kaoru
crowed. "Except in bed, it's so cute when he oros!"
Tomoe smiled slightly and nodded. "I wonder why
he stopped shouting in bed-?"
Kaoru shrugged. "It's probably a good thing he stopped
that when we were married." She chuckled. "I might have mistaken it for
an attack and blocked it with my bokken simply out of reflex."
"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu or not, that would probably
damage his 'sword' badly." Tomoe grinned.
"And where would Kenji have been then?" Kaoru burst
into laughter. "His father's 'oro' would have gotten a LOT higher pitched
then!"
"On the topic of Kenshin's femininity..." Tomoe
giggled. "Did I tell you how I got my revenge on him for making off with
my underkimonos?"
"No, you didn't." Kaoru grinned. "What did you do
to him?"
"Well, first, I got him soundly asleep. A good long
night in bed will do that. Second, I took all his clothes and hid them.
So the next morning, he woke up wearing nothing, and with nothing to wear."
Tomoe grinned wickedly. "His options were either to send me into town by
myself to get some new clothes, or wear some of mine and go with me."
"He didn't!" Kaoru clamped both hands over her mouth
to stifle her giggles.
"He did." Tomoe smiled triumphantly. "And I suggested
that instead of just wearing one of my kimonos, to keep from being recognized,
I offered to do his hair and everything! He was already so embarrassed
by the situation that he was like putty in my hands!"
Kaoru nearly fell over laughing.
"He made such a cute girl, I'll have you know, Kaoru-san."
Tomoe smiled. "No one recognized him as the Battousai in one of my kimonos,
and with makeup covering his scar, and that wonderful red hair of his done
up in such cute little odangos!"
Kaoru fell over, howling with laughter. "You actually
did his HAIR, too, Tomoe-san??"
Tomoe nodded. "Several of the men in town hit on
him, he was so cute! He turned redder than his hair, I swear!"
"And he didn't attack anybody?" Kaoru snickered.
"I made sure he had no way to." Tomoe grinned. "The
most uncomfortable shoes I had, and he couldn't carry his swords, and I
made sure his obi was nice and tight! He could hardly WALK, let alone perform
Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu!"
The two women howled with laughter at the recollection
and mental image.
It was beginning to get dark by now, and the redhead
had yet to return.
"He's sure taking his time bothering Hiko. Maybe
we should go check on him..." Kaoru paced.
"Well, I would love to, Kaoru-san, but I have other
plans tonight." Tomoe smiled as another ghost appeared by her side.
"Nani-?" Kaoru looked at the new arrival. A young
man, a little taller than Tomoe.
"Kaoru-san, I'd like you to meet my fiancee, Akira-san."
Tomoe introduced the newcomer. "Anata, this is Kaoru-san, Kenshin's wife."
Kaoru nodded, briefly wondering if this man held
any hatred toward Shinta for killing him.
"So you married that guy?" Akira raised an eyebrow,
smiling. "Well, Tomoe and I have a long night ahead of us to go check up
on her brother. When you see that guy, tell him he was one hell of a swordsman,
would you?"
Tomoe nodded agreement. "He did so much..."
Kaoru was mildly stunned, to say the least. "I would
have thought-"
"That I'd be ticked that he killed me?" Akira interrupted.
"Nah. It was my own damn fault getting involved in the entire mess. At
least he made it fairly quick. Besides, he put himself through worse than
any revenge I could think of. Anyway, we need to get going if we intend
to track Enishi-kun down before sunrise."
Tomoe nodded again, embracing Akira. "Enishi never
did quite recover from my being killed. Someone needs to look after him."
Kaoru smiled slightly as the couple floated into
the air. "I suppose it wasn't so much that Enishi was insane, as it was
that you really were there?"
Tomoe nodded once more and the two ghosts disappeared.
Kaoru smiled to herself and headed in the direction of Hiko's cabin to
find Shinta.
Author's notes: Not nearly as insane as the first half of their conversation,
is it? Since Tomoe's fiancee has virtually no screen time in the first
OAV, the details of his personality are largely left wide open. Coupled
with the fact he's been dead even longer than Tomoe, I'd like to think
he'd have gotten over what had happened in the past.
Anyways, next up! The return to Tokyo! How badly
depressed IS Kenji? What about Yahiko and Megumi? What will become of the
dojo? How will anyone react to our resident ghosts showing up? I have no
idea! All this and more in the next act of Twisted Paradise! *waves*