A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Pirate Kit, who's story The Private Life of Jamie Madrox inspired me to include the little multiplier in his second Insanity of the X Kids fic.  She owns savage clone dancing, not me :)  Love to Jamie who rox my sox.  Now, read on, brave soul!

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            "What did you do?" Bobby demanded, jumping up and down.  Zoe slid out from under the machine, wiping her greasy hands off on the grass as the AC coughed and spluttered behind her.

            "I believe the technical term is 'sheer dumb luck'," she muttered staring at the vibrating machine with the same disbelief as the others.  "But as for how I did it…"

            "Who cares?"  Bobby cried exuberantly, grabbing Peter by the wrists and swinging him around.

            "Es dat a good noise?" Peter asked tentatively as he whirled and twirled with the walking Popsicle, seemingly unperturbed by the whole situation. 

            "You mean that noise like a cat sleeping on a radiator?  No, it's not a good noise, but it's better than no noise."  Zo shrugged.  "If we don't overload it, it should hold until Monday, then we can haul a professional out here to put this thing back togeth-,"

            "MARIE, I SAID DROP THE BAT!" shrieked the angry voice of Paige as she was unceremoniously hauled into view around the corner of the building, making Bobby pause mid-dance and drawing everyone's attention off the sputtering machine.  Yanking the hayseed along firmly by the wrist was a very hot, and overdressed Marie.

A hot, overdressed Marie who was sweating like a pig and looking slightly insane.

            A hot, overdressed, and insane Marie who was still clutching Zoe's bat in her free hand, strutting along, happy as a clam, whistling what sounded like 'Let it Snow' under her breath.  Well…at least, she was, until she saw the raw anger burning on Zoe's face that is.  Choking on her breath, mid whistle, Rogue shoved the bat behind her back, slamming it into Paige's knees as she went.

            "Hi Zo," Marie muttered, flustered.  "Fix the AC yet?"  Behind her Paige hit her knees, prying her numb wrist from Marie's limp grasp and crawling forward to grab Peter 'round his ankles.

            "Oh thank you, thank you," she sobbed into Peter's faded tennis shoes.  "She's crazy!  Crazy, I tell you!"  She pointed manically at Marie, quivering on the ground.  "She's been hauling me around by the hand for three hours.  She wouldn't even let me pee!"  Her body was wracked with sobs as Peter scooped the hysterical blonde into his arms, clutching her tightly to his massive chest.  "I just wanted to pee!"  Errr, make that not quite against his chest.

            But Marie had bigger problems at the moment, like the insane look in Zoe's eyes.  You know, like the look she got when Bobby thought'd be funny to make 'clothing optional' and 'well-enhanced' ice sculptures of all the girls in the school and put them on the front lawn.  It was the look that said 'I'm gonna rip you a few new holes, then use you like a fuse box'.  It was a look that made grown men cry. 

            It was a look Marie had prayed she'd never see.          

            Ever. 

            "Marie, what's that behind your back?" Zoe asked in a dangerous voice

            "Erm…"

"It's my bat, isn't it?"

"Erm…"

"The bat that's my most prized possession?"

"Erm…"  Marie choked on her left lung and started praying that Kitty would show up so she could drain her powers and sink into the ground, but no such luck.  So she did the next best thing: she turned and ran.  

            "Oh no, ya don't!"  Zoe tore after her and, before Marie had gone five feet, tackled her around the waist and the two tumbled to the ground, a writhing mess of limbs and hair.  Eyes focused on the dueling girls, Bobby leaned close to Peter…well, as close to Peter's ear as he could get and asked,

            "Is it just me, or is this really turning you on?"  Pete nodded and Paige reached out from where the tall boy held her and twisted Ice-Boy's ear. 

            "Sicko," she muttered. 

            "Ow!," Bobby yelled, bating her hand away, still focused on Zo and Marie.  "What's the matter, Paigey, you want to get in on that too?"  She twisted his ear again.  "Ow!"

            "Say it again and I'll go for the nipple," she muttered, still prone in Pete's arms.  But even she was watching the fight.

            "Marie, leggo…!"

            "Get off me, you psycho!"

            "That's my hair!"
            "Yeah, only 'cause gouging your eyes would kill me!"  And that's when it happened.  A reverberating shockwave echoed through the air, blowing up from behind Peter, Bobby, and Paige.  As if one cue all three whirled and…

            "LOOK OUT!"         

…Hit the deck as Sam rocketed just above their heads…

            "Aaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

            …Kitty clinging frantically to his back, hands clamped tightly over his eyes.

            "Holy-," Bobby exclaimed.

            "-Shit!" John finished for him, slamming through the screen door and sprinting across the lawn as if the hounds of hell were after him, when actually it was just a scantily clad Jubilee who charged out seconds later.  Still barely decent in only a towel, Jubilee hollered,

            "You demonic little fire starter, I'm gonna roast you like a Fourth of July weenie!"  A fraction of a second later John joined Bobby, Peter, and Paige on the ground as several red fireworks zoomed like rockets over his head.  But the target gone, her shot went wild.

            "Damn, that was close," John muttered, but Bobby was too preoccupied to care.

            "First the catfight in the corner, then barely dressed Jubilee," he whispered, "at this rate I'm going to need a seriously cold shower…OW!"  Paige, true to her word, grabbed and twisted his nipple as she lay prone beside him.  "Alright, alright, I'm sorry!"

            Jubilee charged across the lawn where the other student huddled against the ground, avoiding Jubilee's projectiles and the out of control Sam who was still rocketing above.

            "What should we do?" Peter demanded, hands wound protectively about his head

            "Save me from the crazed roman candle with legs?" John suggested as Jubilee got closer, moving at a slower pace now that John had nowhere to run.

            "Shoot Sam down before he kills Kitty and destroys anything else?" Paige added helpfully as the flying duo made another pass.

            "TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kitty screeched from above.  "RIGHTTT!"  There was a pause as the blinded rocket-man loomed even closer to the ancient oak.  "No, you're other RIGHT!"  Sam veered out of the way just in time, taking a fair amount of smaller branches with him.

            "Kitty, I can't see!" he bellowed, but the Shadowcat was hanging on for dear life, which made moving her hands not an option, so the dodging and the screaming continued.  Unfortunately, all the kids were so preoccupied with watching the aerial show that they forgot about the earth-bound dangers until it was too late.

            "Any last words, flame boy?" Jubilee crowed menacingly, standing above John triumphantly, (of course, it also gave all three boys a perfect look up her towel, but anyway) her fists glowing red.

            "Yeah," Paige answered, stepping in for John who was too busy blubbering for mercy.  "Duck!" she shouted, grabbing jubilee by the ankle and knocking her to her knees just as Cannonball shot right where she would've been.  But the tumble knocked Jubes's aim wide and the firework raced through the air, dangerously off course….

            …and right into Marie's arm. 

            "Ahhhhhhhhh!" she screamed in pain, finally surrendering her grip on the bat.  Zoe, getting to her knees, clutched it triumphantly to her chest.

            "Finally baby," she cooed, "you're back with Momma now."  But Marie was delusional and that, combined with her usual stubbornness, meant she wasn't giving up that easy.

            "I don't think so," she cried, lunging at the other girl.  She slammed her body into Zoe's, and the blonde flew backwards, bat flying from her hands and spinning into the air…

            "Saaaaaaaaammmmmmm!" Kitty screamed, as the duo zipped just feet above the ground, narrowly missing Jubilee. 

            "Kitty!  Leggo!" he shouted, whipping his head back and forth to try and dislodge the frightened girl.  All he succeeded in doing though was making her cling to him tighter.  However, she did spread her fingers far enough apart for him to catch sight of the close ground below and, seeing a perfect opportunity, Sam threw back his head and shrugged his shoulder all while veering downward.

            The sudden maneuver was too much for Kitty to handle and she lost her grip, shooting backwards off the flaming rocket-boy and tumbling the few feet to the ground below.  She hit the earth, skidded along out of control and slammed right into the side of the Bobby's quickly melting ice igloo.

            Able to see once again, Sam's first order of business was not landing, as any sane person would think to do.  It was, instead, turning to see that Kitty was alright.  Unfortunately, since Sam's head acted like a rudder, all this did was turn him to the right and…

            "LOOK OUT!"

…right into the path of the flying bat.  At the shout from someone on the ground, Sam whirled just in time to see Louisville Slugger flying at his head.

            "Oh shit!"  Swerving downward, Sam missed the bat by inches, but the knock-back effect of his maneuver sent him spiraling out of control, weaving back and forth like a plane operated by a pilot on crack.  Spinning like a top, he was unable to control his rapid, headfirst decent towards the ground.

            Near the side of the mansion,

            And the newly repaired air condition.

            Later, Bobby would be quoted as saying that the impact and following explosion could've been heard a mile away.  Of course Bobby had inhaled a lot of smoke from said explosion at this point so no one paid him much attention, but he was right about one thing.  The bang that happened when indestructible flying teen hit cooling nesseccity was sure as hell loud, especially for Marie and Zoe, who didn't even have time to run.  They just cowered as close to the ground as possible and prayed they'd survive.

            ('Course, between you and me, Zoe's electrical shield helped a lot in that department, not that Marie would ever admit it.)

            *BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM*

            *CCCCCCCRRRRAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHHHHH*

            A concusssive blast ripped through the air…followed by utter silence.

            Looking up from the ground cautiously, and uncovering their heads, the students started in utter horror at the plume of smoke rising from the air conditioner…er, well…the Sam shaped crated that used to be an AC.

            Slowly, each kid got to their feet, Bobby helping Jubes to her feet and Peter still carrying Paige, and ventured towards the smoking pit.  Nerviously, theye peeked into the hole, which was deep enough that the basement piping running into the school was visible amongst the rubble.  Lying atop a heap of steaming, smoking, and sparking rubble was Sam, looking a little loopy, his hair singed.  He stared up at them, google-eyed.  He coughed, spluttered, wiped his hands on his shorts nervously, then said,

            "Okay…okay, so the landings still need work." 

"SAM!" shrieked the voices of every student in the area.  Sam screamed, clambered out of the hole, and went tearing across the lawn, a bombardment of fire balls, ice wads, electrical bolts, and fireworks pummeling him as he went.  And when those stopped, someone threw Zoe's bat at him.

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            "These?" Elizabeth Braddock asked, looking out the teacher's lounge window with distain at the madness taking place below.  "These are the future protectors of the world?" 

            "Yeah well," Jean sighed, opening the refrigerator door, not even bothering to look outside.  The kids were all projecting so loudly that any telepath in a ten-mile radius would be picking up their anger.  "We tried."  She paused in mid-reach for the lemonade and instead grabbed two of Logan's imported beers.  "Here."  She tossed one of them to the purple-haired new teacher and went to join her by the window.   "You're going to need this." 

            Betsy took a long swig as a sickening *CRASH* drew her attention outside once more.  In the middle of the lawn, where there had once been an igloo, now stood a limp pile of broken ice chunks and some thirty-odd, pokemon swimsuit-clad, identical young boys.  A number of these boys joined in the Sam chase, led by one clone who leapt to the top of the ice pile and shouted,

            "We won't stop 'till Sam's dead!"  The other clones began dancingly wildly…almost savagely, in a large circle around their ruined hideaway.  Despite the heat, the new teacher was suddenly very, very cold.

            "The planet is doomed, isn't it?" she asked.  Beside her, Jean shrugged nonchalantly.

            "Like I said, we tried."

FIN

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A/N: Hey y'all, here's the last chapter and, IMHO, it's much better than the first.  Thanks for the comments, now GO REVIEW before I go all Jamie-mob on your ass!  Just kidding ;)