I couldn't remember anything. All I remember is laughter, cruel,
happy, and excited. And then, then there was a dark period of time when I
felt like I was on crack again, and I felt so dreamily alive, yet I didn't
understand what was going on around me. It felt good. It felt damn good.
Then, I woke up. The sheets that covered me were soft, probably silk. I was
naked, vulnerably naked. It must have been a long time since I had eaten;
because I could feel my ribs poke through my skin. Sitting there in the
spacious bed of silk, I wondered, where in the goddamn hell am I? I
remember Malfoy, I remember stone underneath my feet, a wand, cloaked
figures, and stupefy.
Then there was that damn feeling of euphoria again. I felt myself getting lightheaded as I stepped down from the bed. It was high up and sturdy. Made out of mahogany, with black silk sheets and coverlets spewing out of every corner. Whoever had chosen it had style, and money. I sat there thinking about Harry. Cho. Whiskey... Pot. Malfoy. Stupefy. Laughter. Euphoria. Stone. Silk. Where did it all fit together? Hell I didn't know, but it would make one fucking good story. Yeah, me, Ginny Weasley - that's my name right? Subject of a chance meeting in a bar ended up sick and naked in a strangers bed. I can see it now. Except, where the hell was this mysterious stranger? Had we been fucking? Where were the drugs? I know there had to be drugs, nothing else I had ever tried had felt like the feeling I was having now. My thoughts rambled on and on, none of it completely making sense.
A laugh, a deep rumbling chuckle, chortle, snigger, whatever you'd call it, came tumbling out of my throat. I don't know why I laughed, the drugs perhaps? No, I just had to laugh. I remembered part of it now. I had told Malfoy I wanted to do something bad, something evil, show the world I wasn't a uptight goody goody bitch. No I was a down and dirty, fuck me, one night stand, let's get high kind of bitch. Pardon my French if you will. Hah, what a joke. I wanted to be the bad girl, so I had let Malfoy help me. This was probably his bed, he had probably fucked me during my sleep, I was probably pregnant with his child. Hah, the insanity of it all. I didn't even care that I wasn't making sense. I just rambled on and on inside of my head. When will this all make sense? Before I could think anymore of my crazy doped up thoughts, a man, a handsome dark stranger, entered the room. He wasn't a stranger though. I knew him. Where? Think Ginny think.
"Ah, Miss Weasley," my name played on his lips, almost in distaste, "you have finally woken up." He over exaggerated the finally. Fuck you. It's not my fault I am sitting here, naked, and drugged up. How the hell am I supposed to keep track of how long I've slept in this state. I certainly didn't do this. Something about stupefy. stupefy. "Yah I'm awake, what's it to you?" I put on my best, "I'm-a-tough-girl" voice and tried to make it sound as if I actually knew what was going on. Tried is the key word there. Where did I know this face? Blue eyes, dark black hair, tall, handsome, in an old fashioned way of course.
"No need to talk that way to me you foolish girl," a grin curled onto his lips. Not a happy go lucky grin, an evil, knowing grin. I finally seemed to notice I was standing there stark naked in front of this man. I could feel myself go red as I tried to pull a sheet around me. The cruel looking man simply laughed.
"Would you mind," I said impatiently. There was no way in hell I was going to dress (where were my clothes?) with him watching me!
"Virginia, Virginia, you seem to have forgotten who I am. Believe me, a woman's body is no mystery to me," a vicious snarl like smile returned to his mouth. I gave him the best glare I could.
"Well then, just who the hell ARE you?" anger was rising in my voice. Sure I had wanted to be a "bad girl" but this was really getting out of hand. The nasty perv, just standing there looking at me, I knew what he was imagining. But, since I had already given him a full show, I guess it didn't matter too much.
"You're saying, that you don't remember ME? Ginny Weasley, I thought you would of known," this was too much for him. Well, he was the only one enjoying it! The stupid bastard, trying to play mind games on me. Where did I know him from? Think Ginny think. OH God no, you've got to be joking me. I pinched myself, no it wasn't a dream. My eyes widened in horror, and he, that filth, let out a cruel high laugh.
"So you do recognize me. What, no friendly hug or kiss? My, my your manners have not improved," he said in mock concern. Those eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes, so filled with hate, yet longing for something. And that voice, that damn hypnotizing voice. Already he had me under his spell. No Ginny, stay strong, don't let him get you under his skin.
"Tom. It's been awhile. what the hell do you want with me?" I knew he could see the look of horror on my face, because he was having a hard time keeping himself from laughing in obvious pleasure.
"Ahhh feisty are we? That is always a plus," he was directly avoiding my question. I felt my cheeks burn in fury. Draco Malfoy would be getting a serious kick in his fat ass when I saw him next. This was a little more extreme then my idea of "bad".
"I suggest you put some clothes on. While I do quite enjoy seeing you in the nude, my dear, I'm afraid some of my company might find it a tad inappropriate for supper. I will return in 30 minutes," Tom turned to leave. Dumb bastard.
"Oh, and I'll save you the trouble, there's no use trying to escape," flashing me a quick sinful grin, he sauntered out of the room, very proud of himself indeed. I heard a heavy door slam. Great, you sure got yourself into a pickle this time, Ginny Weasley. That's what ran through my head. I don't know why, but I found myself smiling. Perhaps it was because I hadn't seen Tom in about 10 years. He looked as handsome as ever. Perhaps it was because I knew I was rebelling, and hell, so far it felt good. There were many perhaps that ran through my mind, all and none of them seemed to fit. Laughter erupted from my throat. This would, indeed, be the beginning of a very interesting life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't take me long to find some clothes. There was a tall wardrobe made of dark wood that stood near to the bed. Seeing as I couldn't spot any clothes just lying about, I decided to check it out. There were more robes, and all of good quality, in there then I had ever seen at one time. At least, well, at least I got to do this in style. I rummaged through the robes, all of them were, let's just say, showy. Indecent. Inappropriate. Hell, I coulda' showed just as much going in the nude. Ok, alright, that's an over exaggeration, but seriously, any lower and my breasts would of popped right out. Also, ever curve on my body seemed to be accentuated. At least I'm not a man, I thought as I looked at my reflection. If I were, I'd sure be doing some "broomstick" polishing tonight. Oh how vain I've become. Thirty minutes must be a very short amount of time, because suddenly I was aware of Tom's presence again. I turned around, doing my best not to trip in the dangerously curved robes. Tom was grinning mischievously at me, not bothering to look me in the face.
"Ravishing as always," was his solitary remark. He said it sort of a growl, and then made to leave the room. I suppose he wanted me to follow him, because he made a point to leave to door open as he exited. It only took me a moment of debating to realize that there was no point trying to refuse him. What I really needed right then was a joint to calm my angry mood. Sure I had loved Tom, but that was ages ago. He infuriated me, he made me want to scream, pull my hair out, and then kiss him into oblivion. I guess it's weird for a girl, from a decent family, to be having these kinds of thoughts about the dark lord. Not normal, not normal, I kept telling myself that. It became my mantra during those minutes it took for me to catch up to Tom.
"Tom, why am I here?" I began. There was nothing formal in my voice. I spoke to him as if he were an old an dear friend, I spoke to him as if he were my equal. I would soon learn he was not my equal. This simple question must have triggered something in his head, for his face turned red in anger.
"You will address me as Master, understood?" he said between angry breaths. He looked at me menacingly as if to say, "I dare you to disobey me." I knew better then that though. Tom had taught me in my first year while in The Chamber that he did not stand for any sort of disobedience. I nodded in solemn response.
"Yes. Master." the words sounded strange on my tongue. Did Tom really hate me so much? If he did, then why did he fill my head with lies of love and other things so many years ago? I felt my bottom lip trembling and my eyes crinkling up in hope of tears. Ouch, biting my lip seemed the best way to prevent an onslaught of tears. All it took was 30 minutes with Tom to make me fall for him again. Harry who? Ha, what a joke. There was no Harry Potter to me anymore, not with Tom, hypnotizing, cruel, handsome Tom around. How could I stand there falling back into his trap when he was sneering at me? I always had been the weak one.
We continued the rest of the length of the hall in silence. I kept sneaking not so sly glances at Tom. He had matured into a man, a handsome man. If he was indeed lord. you know who, well then I don't know what the hell Harry meant. I mean, Harry had said before that you know who was a shriveled old man. Tom, well he was no old man that was for sure. He was the epitome of a Greek god. Tall in stature, very nice facial features, dark hair, beautiful eyes. The list goes on. We got to the end of the corridor and he turned to face me. The look he wore was one of pure malice. All I remember is that he pointed his wand at me and muttered something under his breath. My mind went fuzzy, and I suddenly felt very lightheaded and not myself. It was as if Tom were inside my head. Maybe he was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All throughout supper, (with a group of death eaters no doubt), I wasn't myself. I saw mounds of food before me, all looking delicious and delectable and begging me to eat them. I wasn't going to eat though. I would show Tom I didn't need him. However, my brain seemed to disagree with my heart. I kept hearing, EAT IT NOW. Somehow, I still wonder how, I found my plate full and my hands leading eager portions towards my mouth. I tried to stop myself, but once I noticed the whole table looking at my weird display, I stopped resisting. Tom just glared at me. It was then I found myself thinking, "Ok Tom, if you want me to put on this little show to make you happy, I will." So I ate, perhaps not so willingly, but I ate. I was out of it during the whole of supper. I was there, I saw things happening, I touched utensils, I spoke words. But it wasn't me, it was someone else, someone, something, inside of my head. It was much later, and in a much more compromising situation that I regained control over my brain.
The weeks passed by in an endless stupor. I don't remember much of that time because I was pretty much the living dead. A zombie that catered to everyone of my masters needs. I loved it though. I was as faithful as a puppy is to his boyhood master. I was devoted, completely and utterly devoted. I still think part of my devotion had something to do with those weeks that I don't remember. Something tells me I must have been bewitched into loving Tom. A spell or enchantment must have been cast, for when I finally came to, everything was much the same. Only, I could think for myself. My thoughts were as obsessive over Tom as I, myself, was! It drove me crazy and made me swoon at the same time. Anyway, the compromising situation that I found myself in, well it's one that still makes me blush to this day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was sometime during the early morning that I woke from my zombie like state. A pale light was creeping through the cracks the curtains made. Otherwise, my bed partner and me were enclosed in a completely dark room. It was the same bed I had awoken in (what I assumed to be) months earlier. What a coincidence. There was an overwhelming sense of safety and warmth next to whomever I had fucked the night before. I knew we had fucked for a fact, two facts actually. One, I was sore as hell, he must have been a good fuck; and two, both of us were completely devoid of any traces of clothing. Before opening my eyes entirely, I spooned my body with his. When I was good and comfortable, I turned to see who the lucky fuck was. Gasp, big surprise. It was old Tommy boy himself. For some odd reason, I didn't flinch when finding out who it was, I didn't even pull away. I stared wide eyed for a moment, snuggled back close again, and found myself dropping off to sleep. It was only when the warm body moved underneath my arms that I awoke fully. I felt Tom push me away and watched as he sat up jerkily. He made to leave the bed, but I stopped him, or tried.
"Get your hands off of me Virginia," his tone was sour and the words slapped me hard. A look of shock came over my face. I knew this because I felt my jaw drop. Tears leapt to the corners of my eyes, unannounced and very unwelcome.
"Stop being such a puss Virginia. Grow up for once, you haven't acted up like this for the last few weeks." Tom began to rummage around for his clothing.
"That's because, you, you villain, you did something to make me obey you. But, no, not anymore, I can think for myself again Tom," I was angry, but more so, I was hurt. My eyes had been uncovered, I would no longer allow Tom to use me for his own pleasures, not unless he intended to give back.
"Ahh, so it's worn off has it? Took you long enough, but then again you never were the brightest. what's that muggle expression? Brightest crayon in the box?" the tears leaked through with those last few words. How could he say such things to me? Was I really just his whore? His bitch, his little slut to have around when he was feeling horny? Is that all I was to him?
"Tom," I said through tears, "do you mean that?" why I asked I still don't know. I knew what he would say. His cruelty knew no limits.
"Shut your mouth, whore. I'll be back later, in the mean time, try and make yourself look halfway decent." He left, leaving me alone. All that was there with me were stinging words and rumpled sheets. Alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The way he said those things ripped what was left of my heart in two. He flung his words on me as if I were the one to blame. I had been out of my mind and he had been using ME! Not the other fucking way around. However much the words stung, I still obeyed. I got dressed in another whorish garment (it seemed as though Tom had pre-chosen my outfits) and sat there. Dark. Alone. Hurt. That's how I felt. And torn also, I guess. I loved Tom, but I hated Tom. Tom hated me. How could I let this happen? I wondered if my parents and family missed me, if they knew what had happened. They would be utterly disappointed. I was disappointed in myself. I was associating, fucking, and eating with dark wizards. I was one. I may not have killed muggles, or wizards or witches or preformed any illegal actions, but being Tom's whore alone was enough to make me one of them. I don't remember what it felt like to sleep with Tom. I was too much of a zombie. But somehow I found myself desperately wishing he would still come to me and touch me at night, even though I was no longer his mindless bitch.
My thoughts drifted to Harry. Oh if he could see me now. A druggy, whore who slept with the most wanted man in the wizarding world. He'd hate me, despise me, be disgusted with me. Who gives a shit anymore? Harry never loved me, never. Not once in the MANY years of complete devotion I practically forced on him. Oh well. Not much mattered to me anymore. Weeks passed by, Tom did indeed come to me again. I stopped eating, I stopped living, I stopped being me. Drugs, sex and Tom. That's all that sustained my will to live. I longed for nights when Tom would let me curl up next to his pale body. I lived for the days when we'd share a joint and get caught up in almost love like sex. But then it would all come crashing down when I realized it was just the pot that made him believe he loved me. My life, was a hell hole. My goddamn life was a fucking hell hole. Oh look at me now. I was ashamed to look at what I had become, but no matter how much I thought about giving this shitty life up, it over took me, and I couldn't. I was stuck. Stuck for good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was that damn feeling of euphoria again. I felt myself getting lightheaded as I stepped down from the bed. It was high up and sturdy. Made out of mahogany, with black silk sheets and coverlets spewing out of every corner. Whoever had chosen it had style, and money. I sat there thinking about Harry. Cho. Whiskey... Pot. Malfoy. Stupefy. Laughter. Euphoria. Stone. Silk. Where did it all fit together? Hell I didn't know, but it would make one fucking good story. Yeah, me, Ginny Weasley - that's my name right? Subject of a chance meeting in a bar ended up sick and naked in a strangers bed. I can see it now. Except, where the hell was this mysterious stranger? Had we been fucking? Where were the drugs? I know there had to be drugs, nothing else I had ever tried had felt like the feeling I was having now. My thoughts rambled on and on, none of it completely making sense.
A laugh, a deep rumbling chuckle, chortle, snigger, whatever you'd call it, came tumbling out of my throat. I don't know why I laughed, the drugs perhaps? No, I just had to laugh. I remembered part of it now. I had told Malfoy I wanted to do something bad, something evil, show the world I wasn't a uptight goody goody bitch. No I was a down and dirty, fuck me, one night stand, let's get high kind of bitch. Pardon my French if you will. Hah, what a joke. I wanted to be the bad girl, so I had let Malfoy help me. This was probably his bed, he had probably fucked me during my sleep, I was probably pregnant with his child. Hah, the insanity of it all. I didn't even care that I wasn't making sense. I just rambled on and on inside of my head. When will this all make sense? Before I could think anymore of my crazy doped up thoughts, a man, a handsome dark stranger, entered the room. He wasn't a stranger though. I knew him. Where? Think Ginny think.
"Ah, Miss Weasley," my name played on his lips, almost in distaste, "you have finally woken up." He over exaggerated the finally. Fuck you. It's not my fault I am sitting here, naked, and drugged up. How the hell am I supposed to keep track of how long I've slept in this state. I certainly didn't do this. Something about stupefy. stupefy. "Yah I'm awake, what's it to you?" I put on my best, "I'm-a-tough-girl" voice and tried to make it sound as if I actually knew what was going on. Tried is the key word there. Where did I know this face? Blue eyes, dark black hair, tall, handsome, in an old fashioned way of course.
"No need to talk that way to me you foolish girl," a grin curled onto his lips. Not a happy go lucky grin, an evil, knowing grin. I finally seemed to notice I was standing there stark naked in front of this man. I could feel myself go red as I tried to pull a sheet around me. The cruel looking man simply laughed.
"Would you mind," I said impatiently. There was no way in hell I was going to dress (where were my clothes?) with him watching me!
"Virginia, Virginia, you seem to have forgotten who I am. Believe me, a woman's body is no mystery to me," a vicious snarl like smile returned to his mouth. I gave him the best glare I could.
"Well then, just who the hell ARE you?" anger was rising in my voice. Sure I had wanted to be a "bad girl" but this was really getting out of hand. The nasty perv, just standing there looking at me, I knew what he was imagining. But, since I had already given him a full show, I guess it didn't matter too much.
"You're saying, that you don't remember ME? Ginny Weasley, I thought you would of known," this was too much for him. Well, he was the only one enjoying it! The stupid bastard, trying to play mind games on me. Where did I know him from? Think Ginny think. OH God no, you've got to be joking me. I pinched myself, no it wasn't a dream. My eyes widened in horror, and he, that filth, let out a cruel high laugh.
"So you do recognize me. What, no friendly hug or kiss? My, my your manners have not improved," he said in mock concern. Those eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes, so filled with hate, yet longing for something. And that voice, that damn hypnotizing voice. Already he had me under his spell. No Ginny, stay strong, don't let him get you under his skin.
"Tom. It's been awhile. what the hell do you want with me?" I knew he could see the look of horror on my face, because he was having a hard time keeping himself from laughing in obvious pleasure.
"Ahhh feisty are we? That is always a plus," he was directly avoiding my question. I felt my cheeks burn in fury. Draco Malfoy would be getting a serious kick in his fat ass when I saw him next. This was a little more extreme then my idea of "bad".
"I suggest you put some clothes on. While I do quite enjoy seeing you in the nude, my dear, I'm afraid some of my company might find it a tad inappropriate for supper. I will return in 30 minutes," Tom turned to leave. Dumb bastard.
"Oh, and I'll save you the trouble, there's no use trying to escape," flashing me a quick sinful grin, he sauntered out of the room, very proud of himself indeed. I heard a heavy door slam. Great, you sure got yourself into a pickle this time, Ginny Weasley. That's what ran through my head. I don't know why, but I found myself smiling. Perhaps it was because I hadn't seen Tom in about 10 years. He looked as handsome as ever. Perhaps it was because I knew I was rebelling, and hell, so far it felt good. There were many perhaps that ran through my mind, all and none of them seemed to fit. Laughter erupted from my throat. This would, indeed, be the beginning of a very interesting life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't take me long to find some clothes. There was a tall wardrobe made of dark wood that stood near to the bed. Seeing as I couldn't spot any clothes just lying about, I decided to check it out. There were more robes, and all of good quality, in there then I had ever seen at one time. At least, well, at least I got to do this in style. I rummaged through the robes, all of them were, let's just say, showy. Indecent. Inappropriate. Hell, I coulda' showed just as much going in the nude. Ok, alright, that's an over exaggeration, but seriously, any lower and my breasts would of popped right out. Also, ever curve on my body seemed to be accentuated. At least I'm not a man, I thought as I looked at my reflection. If I were, I'd sure be doing some "broomstick" polishing tonight. Oh how vain I've become. Thirty minutes must be a very short amount of time, because suddenly I was aware of Tom's presence again. I turned around, doing my best not to trip in the dangerously curved robes. Tom was grinning mischievously at me, not bothering to look me in the face.
"Ravishing as always," was his solitary remark. He said it sort of a growl, and then made to leave the room. I suppose he wanted me to follow him, because he made a point to leave to door open as he exited. It only took me a moment of debating to realize that there was no point trying to refuse him. What I really needed right then was a joint to calm my angry mood. Sure I had loved Tom, but that was ages ago. He infuriated me, he made me want to scream, pull my hair out, and then kiss him into oblivion. I guess it's weird for a girl, from a decent family, to be having these kinds of thoughts about the dark lord. Not normal, not normal, I kept telling myself that. It became my mantra during those minutes it took for me to catch up to Tom.
"Tom, why am I here?" I began. There was nothing formal in my voice. I spoke to him as if he were an old an dear friend, I spoke to him as if he were my equal. I would soon learn he was not my equal. This simple question must have triggered something in his head, for his face turned red in anger.
"You will address me as Master, understood?" he said between angry breaths. He looked at me menacingly as if to say, "I dare you to disobey me." I knew better then that though. Tom had taught me in my first year while in The Chamber that he did not stand for any sort of disobedience. I nodded in solemn response.
"Yes. Master." the words sounded strange on my tongue. Did Tom really hate me so much? If he did, then why did he fill my head with lies of love and other things so many years ago? I felt my bottom lip trembling and my eyes crinkling up in hope of tears. Ouch, biting my lip seemed the best way to prevent an onslaught of tears. All it took was 30 minutes with Tom to make me fall for him again. Harry who? Ha, what a joke. There was no Harry Potter to me anymore, not with Tom, hypnotizing, cruel, handsome Tom around. How could I stand there falling back into his trap when he was sneering at me? I always had been the weak one.
We continued the rest of the length of the hall in silence. I kept sneaking not so sly glances at Tom. He had matured into a man, a handsome man. If he was indeed lord. you know who, well then I don't know what the hell Harry meant. I mean, Harry had said before that you know who was a shriveled old man. Tom, well he was no old man that was for sure. He was the epitome of a Greek god. Tall in stature, very nice facial features, dark hair, beautiful eyes. The list goes on. We got to the end of the corridor and he turned to face me. The look he wore was one of pure malice. All I remember is that he pointed his wand at me and muttered something under his breath. My mind went fuzzy, and I suddenly felt very lightheaded and not myself. It was as if Tom were inside my head. Maybe he was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All throughout supper, (with a group of death eaters no doubt), I wasn't myself. I saw mounds of food before me, all looking delicious and delectable and begging me to eat them. I wasn't going to eat though. I would show Tom I didn't need him. However, my brain seemed to disagree with my heart. I kept hearing, EAT IT NOW. Somehow, I still wonder how, I found my plate full and my hands leading eager portions towards my mouth. I tried to stop myself, but once I noticed the whole table looking at my weird display, I stopped resisting. Tom just glared at me. It was then I found myself thinking, "Ok Tom, if you want me to put on this little show to make you happy, I will." So I ate, perhaps not so willingly, but I ate. I was out of it during the whole of supper. I was there, I saw things happening, I touched utensils, I spoke words. But it wasn't me, it was someone else, someone, something, inside of my head. It was much later, and in a much more compromising situation that I regained control over my brain.
The weeks passed by in an endless stupor. I don't remember much of that time because I was pretty much the living dead. A zombie that catered to everyone of my masters needs. I loved it though. I was as faithful as a puppy is to his boyhood master. I was devoted, completely and utterly devoted. I still think part of my devotion had something to do with those weeks that I don't remember. Something tells me I must have been bewitched into loving Tom. A spell or enchantment must have been cast, for when I finally came to, everything was much the same. Only, I could think for myself. My thoughts were as obsessive over Tom as I, myself, was! It drove me crazy and made me swoon at the same time. Anyway, the compromising situation that I found myself in, well it's one that still makes me blush to this day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was sometime during the early morning that I woke from my zombie like state. A pale light was creeping through the cracks the curtains made. Otherwise, my bed partner and me were enclosed in a completely dark room. It was the same bed I had awoken in (what I assumed to be) months earlier. What a coincidence. There was an overwhelming sense of safety and warmth next to whomever I had fucked the night before. I knew we had fucked for a fact, two facts actually. One, I was sore as hell, he must have been a good fuck; and two, both of us were completely devoid of any traces of clothing. Before opening my eyes entirely, I spooned my body with his. When I was good and comfortable, I turned to see who the lucky fuck was. Gasp, big surprise. It was old Tommy boy himself. For some odd reason, I didn't flinch when finding out who it was, I didn't even pull away. I stared wide eyed for a moment, snuggled back close again, and found myself dropping off to sleep. It was only when the warm body moved underneath my arms that I awoke fully. I felt Tom push me away and watched as he sat up jerkily. He made to leave the bed, but I stopped him, or tried.
"Get your hands off of me Virginia," his tone was sour and the words slapped me hard. A look of shock came over my face. I knew this because I felt my jaw drop. Tears leapt to the corners of my eyes, unannounced and very unwelcome.
"Stop being such a puss Virginia. Grow up for once, you haven't acted up like this for the last few weeks." Tom began to rummage around for his clothing.
"That's because, you, you villain, you did something to make me obey you. But, no, not anymore, I can think for myself again Tom," I was angry, but more so, I was hurt. My eyes had been uncovered, I would no longer allow Tom to use me for his own pleasures, not unless he intended to give back.
"Ahh, so it's worn off has it? Took you long enough, but then again you never were the brightest. what's that muggle expression? Brightest crayon in the box?" the tears leaked through with those last few words. How could he say such things to me? Was I really just his whore? His bitch, his little slut to have around when he was feeling horny? Is that all I was to him?
"Tom," I said through tears, "do you mean that?" why I asked I still don't know. I knew what he would say. His cruelty knew no limits.
"Shut your mouth, whore. I'll be back later, in the mean time, try and make yourself look halfway decent." He left, leaving me alone. All that was there with me were stinging words and rumpled sheets. Alone.
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The way he said those things ripped what was left of my heart in two. He flung his words on me as if I were the one to blame. I had been out of my mind and he had been using ME! Not the other fucking way around. However much the words stung, I still obeyed. I got dressed in another whorish garment (it seemed as though Tom had pre-chosen my outfits) and sat there. Dark. Alone. Hurt. That's how I felt. And torn also, I guess. I loved Tom, but I hated Tom. Tom hated me. How could I let this happen? I wondered if my parents and family missed me, if they knew what had happened. They would be utterly disappointed. I was disappointed in myself. I was associating, fucking, and eating with dark wizards. I was one. I may not have killed muggles, or wizards or witches or preformed any illegal actions, but being Tom's whore alone was enough to make me one of them. I don't remember what it felt like to sleep with Tom. I was too much of a zombie. But somehow I found myself desperately wishing he would still come to me and touch me at night, even though I was no longer his mindless bitch.
My thoughts drifted to Harry. Oh if he could see me now. A druggy, whore who slept with the most wanted man in the wizarding world. He'd hate me, despise me, be disgusted with me. Who gives a shit anymore? Harry never loved me, never. Not once in the MANY years of complete devotion I practically forced on him. Oh well. Not much mattered to me anymore. Weeks passed by, Tom did indeed come to me again. I stopped eating, I stopped living, I stopped being me. Drugs, sex and Tom. That's all that sustained my will to live. I longed for nights when Tom would let me curl up next to his pale body. I lived for the days when we'd share a joint and get caught up in almost love like sex. But then it would all come crashing down when I realized it was just the pot that made him believe he loved me. My life, was a hell hole. My goddamn life was a fucking hell hole. Oh look at me now. I was ashamed to look at what I had become, but no matter how much I thought about giving this shitty life up, it over took me, and I couldn't. I was stuck. Stuck for good.
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