Chapter Eight: The Chickens are Coming

"I am the Architect," the old white German repeated, "but you can call me Colonel."

Peo nods. "Why am I here, Colonel?"

"Your presence is the sum of an unbalanced equation inherent to the writing of the script. While the writing process has altered your character, you still have no acting skills to speak of. Ergo, some of my answers you will react to, some of them you will not."

"You haven't answered my question," Peo says.

"That would be one of the reactions I was talking about. Hmm…that was also quicker then the others."

"What others?"

Finite runs along the hallway, flipping her phone out. She calls Clink.

"Clink! Remember the dream Peo had?"

"Yea. Why?"

"Well, what happened first?"

"You jumped out a window."

"Where's the nearest window?"

"Left! Now!"

Finite turns left and runs into a wall.

"The Matrix is older then you know," the Colonel continues. "I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral movie to the next – which would make this the second version of the Matrix."

"There are only two possible explanations," Peo says. "Either no one told me…or no one knew."

"Or you ignored them."

Peo stops, confused. The Colonel impatiently taps the pen against his chair armrest. He starts clicking the little clicky thing. Peo watches intently. He suddenly dashes up and knocks the pen out of the Colonel's hand.

"What the hell was that for?" the Colonel yells.

"You clicked it four times! It's gonna explode!"

The Colonel hits him over the head with his chair. "You idiot! This isn't James Bond!"

Peo rubs his head. "Sor-ry!"

Finite jumps out of the window, turning and firing. Agent Now Important to the Agents but Still Unimportant to the Move leaps out after her, firing his gun rapidly.

"You are here because the movie is about to end. The directors discovered at the end that no normal person could figure out what they were talking about. So they plunked me in here to explain it to the audience."

"Oh," Peo says.

"Yes."

There is a knocking and then the door bursts open. Paul Revere rides in on a horse.

"The chickens are coming! The chickens are coming!"

A large, rubber chicken claw reaches through the door and grabs him, pulling him back out.

"We have little time – the shit will soon hit the fan. You may ask me any questions you want."

"What's up with Kiss?"

"He has become a virus-like entity now, after he called the humans a virus in the first movie. It's horribly ironic, isn't it?"

"Sure…" Peo says dubiously. "Where did Dobbie and Boast get the data on the machine's plan, and how did they reach us in time?"

"For the answers to those questions, you should buy the Animatrix on video or DVD, and the game Enter the Matrix, available on all major consoles. I hear Xbox sucks though. You can even play as Neo!"

"Awesome!" Peo says. "Can I have a copy?"

"Sure," the Colonel says, tossing him a copy. Peo looks over it.

"This looks awesome."

"It is. And you get information that you can't get in the movie – like what happens to you later. You can play as Dobbie or Boast. It is the story behind the story."

"I can play as Boast? I love Boast!"

The Colonel looks at him strangely. "Anyway…next question."

"Okay…so what's up with all the television screens?"

Finite gets shot.

"Oh, those. Well, it's very lonely in here, so I use the screens to spy on people."

The screens flicker, revealing camera views of bathrooms, showers, changing rooms, and bedrooms. Peo looks around.

"Man, you got it pretty sweet. Where can I sign up?"

The Colonel chuckles to himself. A bloodcurdling scream comes from the left door, followed by a cluck of impeding doom.

"We have little time. The left door leads to the Script and the salvation of Zion. The right door leads you back the Matrix and the end of your movie. Choose, and act."

Peo makes a face. "Now he's Vergere. Great."

"Shut up," the Colonel adds wisely. Peo walks towards the right door.

"Hope…it is this movie's greatest strength, and simultaneously its greatest weakness."

"If I were you," Peo says. "I would hope not to see this movie again."

"You won't," Sanders says dismissively. "Oh, wait, I forgot. The Oracle is the mother of the Matrix."

"WHAT?"

"Bye now!" Sanders says, pushing Peo out the door as chickens explode in through the other door and attack. Peo uppercuts one, but two more hit him with a beak and he flies out backwards through the door, happening to fly under Finite as she falls and accidentally catching her.

"Damn."