Title: Sea Change II
Author: Nan
Rating: PG-13 (strong language warning)
Classification: vignette, Harm/AJ
Spoilers: Another missing scene from Back in the Saddle. Companion piece to Sea Change published earlier
Summary: This time we look into AJ's thoughts after that heated conversation in the bar between Harm and AJ.
******************************************************************
Admiral's SUV
Interstate 81
Virginia
1533 EST
I stare at the cell phone in my hand. What was that? I watch the caller-id screen. 8.35 minutes of talk time and my cell identifies the caller as Harmon Rabb. After a pause, the screen clears and it resumes back to active roaming status.
I pulled over to the shoulder of the highway when I saw his name flash. It had only been an hour since I left him in the roadside bar at Blacksburg airport. Whatever he wanted to say now deserved my full attention.
I wasn't angry when I flipped open the cell to talk. Funny but my anger at the bar conversation dissipated quickly. I've spent the last five months angry with the man. A few traded insults actually relieved the tension. For me, anyway.
Must have had the same effect on him too. This phone conversation was completely civil and deferential. He apologized for his words earlier and asked for his job back. Wow.
I feel like I won the NY marathon or something. I got Harmon Rabb to admit he was wrong. And he is coming back to JAG under my conditions. Double wow.
Here I was thinking that this trip to Blacksburg was a damn waste of time. That this was the last time I let a damn yeoman talk me into something that I know was foolhardy. I was already thinking what I was going to tell Coates. That JAG isn't a damn fairytale and there is no happy ending. That she couldn't possible understand this. Whatever this is.
This, this,.... What is this exactly? I know one thing this is. Whatever this is, it is a mess. The whole thing is a debacle. Even though Rabb's been gone for over 5 months, I still have officers taking sides and fighting one another. One look at Sturgis and you can see a man who is pissed. Pissed at Bud? Sure, that's easy to point fingers. Bud's failure to represent him adequately. Yada, yada, yada. That's old news.
But Sturgis is more than just mad at Bud. He is mad at me. And Mac.
Why he is mad at me is easy to figure out. I'm somehow responsible for Rabb's departure from JAG. Christ, does no one remember who actually quit here? Rabb submitted his resignation. I didn't ask for it. If I recall correctly, I fought the resignation tooth and nail. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay.
Or did everyone just think that manipulating the system was as easy as that? Just quit, do what you want, then apologize. All will be forgiven. It's happened like that before. Now it's part of the JAGman manual as standard operation procedure? People, do I have to remind you that no one is above the rules? I'm not above the rules and I'm the goddamn Judge Advocate General of the United States Navy.
Commander Rabb may be the ultimate poster boy for the US Navy but his decorated ass is not above the rules either. Goddamn him.
So Sturgis' anger at me is easy to explain. But why is he mad at Mac? Turns out now I've got a senior staff member taking sides in this inscrutable anti-relationship those two call friendship. Does Sturgis blame Mac for Rabb's departure? Maybe. This whole mess was made all the more distressing because it is less than two years until Harm retires with full benefits. Sorry Sturgis, I can see the way you think and I feel for him too. But lay off Mac.
I'll let you in on a secret, Sturgis. It wasn't just the backlog of cases from Imes debacle that brought me to Blacksburg today. It was the fact that that goddamn Imes mistake by the goddamn Navy gave me a goddamn reasonable basis to bring the goddamn Commander back. So he could at least work out the last couple of years before crop-dusting his sorry life away. Goddamn him.
Sturgis sees what I see. That Harm's got a major emotional attachment to the Colonel. Carefully hidden for years but still there. Most of the time, it lies deep beneath the surface, but every so often it lashes out. It's frightening in its intensity and depth. He expects her to understand it. But it just scares her. That's Paraguay in a nutshell.
Poor bastard. He is never going to be able to put together the words or actions to get past her impenetrable shell. She's got the bar set so high; you have to wonder what he did to hurt her so. Or is that she's afraid she will hurt him?
Well, now Harm's returning to JAG. And from what I saw in the bar, Harm hasn't been very successful at putting any of this behind him. Despite a five month absence from the Navy, colleagues and friends. He's a mess.
And Mac still works at JAG. And it's time to deal with it. He has to pull himself together. I'll help. I bury him in so much work, he won't have enough energy to shave, never mind brood.
So, Peter Pan, it's time to come home. Harm, figure out what you want. It's not that hard. I did it. So can you. Meredith may not be everything but at least she safe. Emotionally safe that is. Marcella? She was more like Mac. I will always love her. But Meredith is my choice this time.
By the way, Harm, can Meredith come flying this weekend?
Author: Nan
Rating: PG-13 (strong language warning)
Classification: vignette, Harm/AJ
Spoilers: Another missing scene from Back in the Saddle. Companion piece to Sea Change published earlier
Summary: This time we look into AJ's thoughts after that heated conversation in the bar between Harm and AJ.
******************************************************************
Admiral's SUV
Interstate 81
Virginia
1533 EST
I stare at the cell phone in my hand. What was that? I watch the caller-id screen. 8.35 minutes of talk time and my cell identifies the caller as Harmon Rabb. After a pause, the screen clears and it resumes back to active roaming status.
I pulled over to the shoulder of the highway when I saw his name flash. It had only been an hour since I left him in the roadside bar at Blacksburg airport. Whatever he wanted to say now deserved my full attention.
I wasn't angry when I flipped open the cell to talk. Funny but my anger at the bar conversation dissipated quickly. I've spent the last five months angry with the man. A few traded insults actually relieved the tension. For me, anyway.
Must have had the same effect on him too. This phone conversation was completely civil and deferential. He apologized for his words earlier and asked for his job back. Wow.
I feel like I won the NY marathon or something. I got Harmon Rabb to admit he was wrong. And he is coming back to JAG under my conditions. Double wow.
Here I was thinking that this trip to Blacksburg was a damn waste of time. That this was the last time I let a damn yeoman talk me into something that I know was foolhardy. I was already thinking what I was going to tell Coates. That JAG isn't a damn fairytale and there is no happy ending. That she couldn't possible understand this. Whatever this is.
This, this,.... What is this exactly? I know one thing this is. Whatever this is, it is a mess. The whole thing is a debacle. Even though Rabb's been gone for over 5 months, I still have officers taking sides and fighting one another. One look at Sturgis and you can see a man who is pissed. Pissed at Bud? Sure, that's easy to point fingers. Bud's failure to represent him adequately. Yada, yada, yada. That's old news.
But Sturgis is more than just mad at Bud. He is mad at me. And Mac.
Why he is mad at me is easy to figure out. I'm somehow responsible for Rabb's departure from JAG. Christ, does no one remember who actually quit here? Rabb submitted his resignation. I didn't ask for it. If I recall correctly, I fought the resignation tooth and nail. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay.
Or did everyone just think that manipulating the system was as easy as that? Just quit, do what you want, then apologize. All will be forgiven. It's happened like that before. Now it's part of the JAGman manual as standard operation procedure? People, do I have to remind you that no one is above the rules? I'm not above the rules and I'm the goddamn Judge Advocate General of the United States Navy.
Commander Rabb may be the ultimate poster boy for the US Navy but his decorated ass is not above the rules either. Goddamn him.
So Sturgis' anger at me is easy to explain. But why is he mad at Mac? Turns out now I've got a senior staff member taking sides in this inscrutable anti-relationship those two call friendship. Does Sturgis blame Mac for Rabb's departure? Maybe. This whole mess was made all the more distressing because it is less than two years until Harm retires with full benefits. Sorry Sturgis, I can see the way you think and I feel for him too. But lay off Mac.
I'll let you in on a secret, Sturgis. It wasn't just the backlog of cases from Imes debacle that brought me to Blacksburg today. It was the fact that that goddamn Imes mistake by the goddamn Navy gave me a goddamn reasonable basis to bring the goddamn Commander back. So he could at least work out the last couple of years before crop-dusting his sorry life away. Goddamn him.
Sturgis sees what I see. That Harm's got a major emotional attachment to the Colonel. Carefully hidden for years but still there. Most of the time, it lies deep beneath the surface, but every so often it lashes out. It's frightening in its intensity and depth. He expects her to understand it. But it just scares her. That's Paraguay in a nutshell.
Poor bastard. He is never going to be able to put together the words or actions to get past her impenetrable shell. She's got the bar set so high; you have to wonder what he did to hurt her so. Or is that she's afraid she will hurt him?
Well, now Harm's returning to JAG. And from what I saw in the bar, Harm hasn't been very successful at putting any of this behind him. Despite a five month absence from the Navy, colleagues and friends. He's a mess.
And Mac still works at JAG. And it's time to deal with it. He has to pull himself together. I'll help. I bury him in so much work, he won't have enough energy to shave, never mind brood.
So, Peter Pan, it's time to come home. Harm, figure out what you want. It's not that hard. I did it. So can you. Meredith may not be everything but at least she safe. Emotionally safe that is. Marcella? She was more like Mac. I will always love her. But Meredith is my choice this time.
By the way, Harm, can Meredith come flying this weekend?