Chapter 8
Frodo rolled over, trying to delve back into sleep, but he could not roll away from his own body, and at this moment it was being rather noisy. Although his nausea had reduced greatly over the past few weeks it still occasionally caught him unawares and this evening, just after leaving the funeral feast, had been one of those times. As usual, half an hour after emptying his stomach he was ravenous, but this was Edoras and he could hardly bother his hosts in the middle of the night.
Rolling over in despair, he sat up as quietly as he could and decided to go exploring. Surely it could not be that difficult for a hobbit to find the kitchens. He decided to do what all hobbits do in these situations and follow his nose. It led him to a door at the far end of the now empty feasting hall, a sliver of candlelight peeping over the threshold. Reaching up for the large handle, Frodo pushed the door open and stepped gingerly inside.
One small figure sat at the enormous scrubbed wooden table and arranged around a lone candle before him was a selection of plates, obviously containing the remains of the evening's feast. In the dim light it took Frodo a moment to realise that the figure lifting a thick sandwich was Pippin. The sound of the door closing made the young Took stop, mid-gape and it wasn't until Frodo stepped forward that he let out a long breath and continued to take a huge bite out of his acquisition.
"Good evening, Cousin," he mumbled around the contents of his mouth. "Are you feeling better now?"
"I will be if you let me share that feast," Frodo replied, inspecting the contents of the assorted crockery.
"Help yourself."
Pippin continued to munch contentedly on his roast mutton sandwich while he watched Frodo slice and butter bread, adding a thick slice of crumbly cheese. Pippin stopped chewing, however, when he saw his cousin spread strawberry conserve on the other slice of bread and then lay that atop the cheese. Wrinkling his nose, Pip swallowed noisily.
"That's an . . . unusual . . . combination, Frodo."
The older hobbit paused, looking from sandwich to cousin in mild surprise. Was it an odd combination? Well, yes . . . perhaps it was. But it tasted so good. He took a bite and smiled blissfully, savouring the sharp sour taste of the cheese mingling with the sweetness of the conserve. Pippin made no further comment as he handed Frodo a cup of milk.
Frodo grinned. "This reminds me of Brandy Hall. Merry and I and a few other children used to do this," he confessed.
Pippin nodded. He had been brought up on tales of the pranks of young Frodo Baggins. It was strange that he could not seem to equate that Frodo with the serious hobbit that sat before him.
"Should you be out of bed, Frodo? I thought you were supposed to get plenty of rest?"
Wiping a small line of milk from his upper lip, Frodo chuckled. "You try telling my stomach that. It was growling so loudly I'm surprised it didn't wake Sam in the next bed." He glanced across at Pippin in time to see the pale green-gold eyes glowing in the candlelight. Frodo recognised the expression and laid his snack aside, waiting patiently for the question to work its way from Pippin's mind to his mouth.
"What's it like, Frodo?" It did not take much imagination to guess what he was referring to.
"Frightening, but not so much now. Now it's sort of . . . nice."
Pippin nodded. "I don't think I've ever seen you as frightened as you have been these past few weeks."
"Oh yes you have, Pip. I was scared all the way from Bag End to Mordor."
At one time Pippin would have been surprised by this confession but events of the past months had matured him beyond his years and for that Frodo felt a great sadness.
"I suppose I'd never really considered that," Pippin replied. "You defended yourself against the Witch King and you were going to head off into Mordor all by yourself. I thought you must be terribly brave."
Frodo sighed. "I did what I had to do. If I had truly been as brave as you think I would not have let my friends follow me into danger. You have all been hurt because of my fear and I'm sorry that I brought all that upon you."
Pippins face changed at that and Frodo was suddenly reminded of the elves for he seemed both old and young together. "No, Frodo. You didn't press us . . . in fact if you remember you tried to slip away without us. Don't blame yourself. If the same thing were to happen again I'd make the same decision, even knowing where it may lead."
"And so would I" came a chorus from the door as Sam and Merry joined them.
"We should have known we'd find them here, Sam. Pippin has a natural aptitude for finding food and I seem to remember that Frodo had a fondness for midnight feasting when he lived at the Hall." Merry's eyes lit upon the sandwich on Frodo's plate and he lifted the top slice curiously. "Frodo . . . whatever have you got in this?"
"I expect it's cheese and strawberry jam," interjected Sam with a grin.
Merry dropped the bread at once. "Good gracious Frodo. You can take this expectant mother thing too far, you know. Does Lord Elrond know what he's letting himself in for, I wonder?"
About to take a bite from his sandwich, Frodo paused in surprise and turned to Sam. Even in the pale candlelight he could see his friend blushing deeply.
"I'm sorry, Mr Frodo. You know what Mr Merry's like. He got me all confused and before I knew what was happening out it popped. I didn't mean to tell him about not going back to the Shire."
Merry showed no remorse whatsoever and only chuckled as he sliced some bread and began to pick through the plates to prepare a filling. "We do seem to have had this conversation before, don't we?"
"Merry, you are quite incorrigible," Frodo frowned.
Sam rescued the bread and knife from Pippin, who was about to make himself a second sandwich. Deprived of his food the younger hobbit switched to his next favourite activity . . . asking questions.
"Why don't you want to have your baby in the Shire, Frodo? A hobbit should grow up in the Shire."
All three sets of eyes fell on him and Frodo swallowed quickly. "I'd like nothing better, Pip. It's thoughts of the Shire that have kept me going when it was so dark. But can you honestly see any midwife attending me? And my child would be pointed at wherever he went."
"Then why not have your baby in Rivendell and then bring it back to the Shire?" Pippin pursued.
"Pip. Who is your second cousin twice removed?" asked Frodo.
"Why you are, silly."
"Exactly. And within a day of my return to the Shire everyone in Buckland would want to know my son's parentage. What would I tell them?"
"You could make something up," the younger hobbit started and then shook his head. "No. That wouldn't work. Someone would be bound to find out. Oh bother! It's not fair."
Frodo smiled at his cousin's annoyance. "No, it's not fair, Pip. But I expect I will be happy enough and you can come and visit us."
"Yes, I'm sure Mr Gandalf will guide you," Sam added, buttering his bread.
Frodo recognised the tone at once. "Oh no you don't Samwise Gamgee. This . . ." he patted his tummy, "came about because I was jealous of you and Rose Cotton. Don't you go making it all needless. Rose is waiting for you and you're going to marry her and have lots of little Sam lads and Rosie lasses. I just wish I could have left you Bag End, but you could have the house at Crickhollow if you like."
"But Mr Frodo . . . I can't leave you alone with only elves. They're nice enough folk and all but they're not hobbits. They don't know how you like your eggs done and how to make your bed just right. And you know I . . ."
"No, Sam." Frodo's voice held a note of finality that Sam had come to recognise and tears began to roll down his face. Frodo slipped an arm about him at once and laid his head on Sam's shoulder.
"Oh Sam. You have been a truer friend to me than anyone has a right to expect. I would have given up many times without you. But I need to know that all the things I've lost have been lost for a reason. I need to know that you and Merry and Pippin and all the other dear, dear hobbits of the Shire will be getting on with their lives in the way hobbits always have. Please, Sam. If you won't do it for any other reason then do it for me."
Sam sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Alright, Mr Frodo. But it'll be hard."
"I know, Sam. And I'm sorry that you had to be put in that position. But Rose loves you and I know you will be very happy together. You need to heal, Sam, and I think she's the one to do it."
"But what about you, Mr Frodo? You need to heal too."
Frodo smiled and took one of Sam's hands, laying it atop the small swelling of his master's stomach. "This is my healing, Sam."
And as if to confirm his parent's assertion, the tiny babe moved beneath Sam's finger.
TBC