No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or intended. Copyright belongs to others and no infringement is intended.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Kinch came up out of the tunnel and grabbed a coffee mug. He'd gotten up early to go down and communicate with London, and found Hogan already down there, listening to static. Noting Hogan's drawn face, Kinch had wondered how long his commanding officer had slept last night. Hogan had simply nodded his head in greeting, then returned to his inner thoughts. Kinch did his best to ignore the Colonel, knowing that when he was this way it was better not to try to draw him out. But the constant presence unnerved him, and he had to come back up to the surface, with no information forthcoming from Headquarters yet.
Pouring a cup of joe, he considered what he knew. Some of the messages that had come from London last night still made no sense to Kinch, but he could tell by Hogan's reactions that they had been perfectly clear to the Colonel. A mission like this one depended on many people working together, something that Hogan didn't usually care for. There were too many opportunities for something to go wrong. A small, close-knit group was the preferred method of operation. But there was no way this mission was going to be able to proceed this way. Already, there was Hogan, his four closest operatives, Klink, and Schultz. Add whatever Underground agents were necessary and there were a dozen people for Hogan to feel responsible for. Kinch shook his head. No wonder Hogan was looking drained.
"Achtung!" came a loud, booming voice from outside. "Achtung! Rise and shine, rise and shine!"
Kinch looked up, startled. Roll call. Hogan was still downstairs. He raced to the bunks and called down. "Colonel—roll call! Roll call!"
Hogan scrambled up the ladder and closed the entrance just as Sergeant Schultz opened the door. Le Beau, Newkirk, and Carter, were rousing themselves. Le Beau, who had been moved from his bunk to let the traffic head downstairs, was being particularly slow this morning.
"It is time for you to come and be counted," Schultz said, yawning.
"We've already done that, Schultz," said Hogan cheerfully. "None of us is missing."
Kinch marvelled at the way Hogan put on this jovial exterior as soon as a job was underway. How could any of his men ever tell when he needed to unload his own burdens? "Jolly joker," said Schultz. "You know I have to count you in front of Kommandant Klink." He paused. "So raus, raus!" he shouted.
The men moaned their protests at this assault on their ears. Filing out past Schultz, Le Beau mumbled, "You just see if I give you any of my strudel."
Schultz put out a hand and stopped Le Beau mid-step. Hogan watched, interested. "Did you say 'strudel', Le Beau?"
"I made some last night, just for you. But I don't think I will be doing that now. You are an insult to my ears."
"Oh please, Le Beau, not your strudel. You must let me smell it."
"That's about as close as you will come to it."
"That's right, Schultz. You can't afford to make Le Beau angry when he's been cooking." Hogan came up to Schultz and put a hand on his shoulder, flashing a winning smile. "Tell you what. I'll bet I can get Le Beau to hand over some of that strudel. But you have to do us a little favour first."
"What kind of a favour?" asked Schultz in a low voice.
"Well the men want to do something special for Colonel Klink's birthday this week. What's the chance of us heading into Hammelburg tomorrow to fix up his car and get him a special date with a beautiful fraulein?" Hogan asked, conspiringly.
"Oh, no, I couldn't do that," Schultz said.
"Not even for apple strudel?" asked Le Beau. "I made extra, thinking you might want some on the trip in to town. But if you don't want it I am sure some of the other guards would be glad to have it."
"Maybe I could do it," Schultz reconsidered.
"Sure you could, Schultz," encouraged Hogan. "I'll have a talk with Klink after roll call."
"But the kommandant's birthday is not until February," Schultz said, frowning.
"Don't worry, Schultz," said Hogan. "Klink will forget all about that when he has a lovely, rich lady in his arms." He patted Schultz on the chest and strolled out to the compound to join formation.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Hogan's eyes feasted briefly on Klink's secretary Hilda as he entered the camp kommandant's office. He smiled one of his most charming smiles at her, and, as usual, she responded with a look that melted his insides. Hogan sighed as he passed her without comment. Too many things to organise today. A rendezvous with her would have to wait until after the Luftwaffe offensive was deterred.
He rapped quickly and then entered Klink's inner office without waiting. Klink was busy at his desk and did not look up. "Not now, Hogan. I have too many things to do this morning. Dis-missed." He waved as though to shoo Hogan away like a troublesome fly.
"Working hard as always, Kommandant?" said Hogan sympathetically. He took off his cap and clutched it in his hands. "That's just like you, sir—dedicated, industrious, devoted to duty." He sniffed, as though touched by the scene. "That's why the men are so proud of you, sir. I tried to tell them they couldn't interrupt a man as busy as you with something as trivial as a date but they insisted I try to surprise you anyway. I told them it couldn't be done." Hogan sighed as he leaned over Klink's desk, planting the idea in his ear.
"You are right, Hogan, I don't have time for foolishness right now—" Klink cut himself off. "What do you mean a date?" he enquired quickly, paperwork forgotten.
"Well, sir, the men wanted to do something special for your birthday and they thought you might like a night on the town with a beautiful lady in Hammelburg, with your car all done up nice and shiny and clean." Hogan shrugged. "But it's just not something you can make time for in your busy schedule, sir. I understand." He straightened up, sighed. "I'll break the news to the men, sir. It'll break their hearts." He turned toward the door.
"Hogan, wait a minute," burst Klink. He stood up to stop Hogan's departure. Hogan paused, turned back to Klink with an expectant look on his face. "You know, Hogan, duty is the most important thing in a Luftwaffe officer's life."
"Yes, Colonel, of course I understand, you don't have to justify yourself to the men, sir." He made as though to leave again.
"But part of that duty, Hogan, is to make sure that the prisoners are treated well," he continued over the senior POW. "You know I run the toughest prison camp in all of Germany, but that does not mean I am heartless. The men need to be able to do humane, kind things, Hogan. I would be shirking my duty if I did not let them do this for me." Hogan tried to suppress a grin. "Now what is this plan the men have?"
"Well, sir," Hogan said, warming up, "the men thought it would be lovely if they could get your car tuned up, cleaned inside and out, and get you all gussied up for a nice evening out with a charming fraulein. Someone young and inspiring, worthy of you, sir, especially on a night as special as your birthday."
Klink smiled as he imagined the scene. Suddenly the smile stopped. "But Hogan, my birthday is months away."
"Don't let that spoil it, sir. The men would be so disappointed. They think the world of you—what does it matter if it's really your birthday or not?"
Klink nodded emphatically. "You're right, Hogan. I shouldn't let that interfere with my duty as camp kommandant. If the men want me to have a candlelit dinner with a rich, enchanting woman, why should I deny them that simple pleasure?"
"You're all heart, sir," Hogan said. "Now we're going to have to get your car into town for proper servicing, Kommandant. I suggest tomorrow morning after roll call. Schultz can guard us. I'll take Carter, Le Beau, Kinchloe and Newkirk, and we'll get it all organised. How's that?"
"If Schultz wants to go, then you may go, Hogan." He suddenly turned on Hogan and wagged a finger at him. "But no funny business," he warned.
Hogan held up his hands in surrender. "Scout's honour," he said. And replacing his cap, he shot Klink a quick salute and left the office.
The game was afoot.