No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred. Copyright belongs to others and no infringement is intended.
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Carter and Newkirk took their brooms and very casually swept a wide arc to the remotest corners of the supply hut. "See anything?" Newkirk whispered.
"Yeah, lots of things, but I don't know which one of 'em might be a bomb," Carter answered, looking over the seemingly endless rows of boxes, sacks, and barrels filling the overcrowded room.
"And I thought prisoner of war camps were under-supplied," quipped Newkirk. He carefully looked over toward the guard watching them from the doorway. "We're going to be here all bloody night, and we don't even know what we're looking for. Or what sets it off."
"Anything we do could blow this place to Kingdom Come—and us with it!" Carter said.
"Thanks for that comforting reminder, Carter," Newkirk said sarcastically. "Let's start from this end and work our way back through the room. At least we can see if any of the supplies look like they've been tampered with." He pulled a dust cloth out of the bucket he and Carter had dragged along with them and started running it over boxes nearest him. "C'mon, Carter," he said loudly, so the guard could hear. "When the inspector comes we have to make sure he doesn't think the prisoners don't actually get any of these marvelous things," he said dryly, eyeing the medical supplies and rations with some envy. He told himself secretly to come back when there was a break between missions and load up for the prisoners' personal storehouse.
Carter followed Newkirk's lead, and examined everything as they moved up and down the aisles. But how did they find something when they didn't know what it looked like?
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"This kitchen is disgusting!" complained Le Beau. "How do you expect to impress anyone when you cannot see your face in the stainless steel? You would be lucky not to get food poisoning!" The German in charge of the kitchen cringed, knowing that Le Beau was regarded as a culinary expert by many in the camp. "I will pull this building apart board by board to make it right."
"Jawohl, I will get started on—"
"No! You will not touch it! You cannot be trusted. You will get out of my sight." He picked up a bowl of what looked like sauerkraut and shoved it at the German. "And you will take this reject from the kitchen from Hell with you. Before it walks out of here under its own power."
Thus left to his own devices, Le Beau began a careful search of the kitchen and the mess hall.
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"Are you sure your men can handle this section on your own, Schultz?" asked Kinch. Looking over the guard house and towards the tower, Kinch was meeting with resistance from the portly Sergeant about putting the cloths over this part of the camp, saying it was a matter of pride for the men that it be kept clean at all times. Kinch wondered what "all times" meant, as he thought he would have some serious work to do to even bring this place up to below par, and cleaning was not quite what he had in mind when he asked about cleaning!
"Ja, Sergeant Kinchloe, we will see to it ourselves," insisted Schultz.
"Okay, Schultz," said Kinch. Then, thinking on his feet, he said, "But I'd sure hate to be you if this Oberfuhrer finds something to be unhappy about. After all, you're the Sergeant of the Guards…."
"Ja, I am!" he said proudly. Then his expression changed to one of concern. "What do you think he would do?" he asked.
"I wouldn't know, Schultz. But if you're the one in charge of the guards, and the guards displease him, well, it would be your responsibility, wouldn't it?"
"Auf meinem Leben!" fretted Schultz. "Every man should take responsibility for his own area, yes?"
"Well in theory, Schultz. But when something goes wrong in camp, it's ultimately the Kommandant's fault, isn't it? Well, the same would apply to yourself with your guards."
Schultz moved away from the door he had been blocking. "You may do what you need to do."
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Hogan came out from his hiding spot when he saw the car pull up on the road and Voelker, in German uniform and holding a rifle, disembark. Still not happy to trust him, Hogan held his Luger close to his body, and advanced slowly.
"You are well, Colonel Hogan?"
"Wonderful," Hogan answered curtly. "We're ready for you. You'll come into camp on Wednesday, accompanied by some other agents posing as a General and his inspection group. Klink has demanded Strohm come to camp to apologize for his arrogance in Hammelburg and for undermining his authority. You can disappear while you're there, we'll make it so Klink will never notice. Your family will come through the tunnel the same night, and we'll smuggle you out in the dog trucks."
"We were planning to come into camp together, Colonel Hogan. My family does not wish to be separated."
Hogan was starting to lose grip on his already weak patience with this man. "I'm not your personal travel agent, Voelker. If you want to get out, you have to trust me on how to do it. There's at least one thing I know better than you. And another thing, your son's going to come in blindfolded and he's going out the same way. We can't take any chances on a child spilling the operation by accident. And the less he knows, the safer everyone is." In case you get caught, he finished to himself grimly. They won't be able to use a child to get to his parents, not if I have any say in it.
"Colonel, that cannot be. My son, Erich, he is terrified of the darkness. He cannot be out at night, and blindfolded; he will be mad with fear."
"Now look, Voelker, you gave us your conditions and I'm meeting them. We don't have a lot of choices about how and when. He comes in blindfolded or not at all. You'll just have to find a way to keep him calm." Hogan felt his grip on his pistol tightening. Voelker was trying to get the upper hand again. When would this guy give up?
"I cannot guarantee his silence during a nighttime journey, Colonel Hogan. He is a child. He is frightened. What would you have me do?" There was no regret in his voice, simply continuing defiance, steadfastness.
Hogan tapped his foot, impatient with himself, but trying to think. He admired the man's devotion to his family, but he seemed to forget there was a war on! Still, Hogan could not help thinking of a young boy, frightened and leaving everything he knew, and he wanted to make it easier… if there was such a thing. "Okay," he said finally. "Your inspection entourage is scheduled to come through the gates at noon precisely. While the guards are there and their attention is diverted, one of my men will meet your family at the entrance to the emergency tunnel. Your contact in town will get them there. But your son will be blindfolded for the trip, and he'll stay that way till he's safely in the tunnel and there's no way for him to figure out how he got there. Clear?"
"Clear," Voelker replied. "We will get details from our mutual contact."
"Now we've kept our part of the bargain, Voelker; you keep yours: cough up the bomb," Hogan said.
"Not yet, Colonel Hogan. We must be inside first. All of us."
"You're making this mission a lot riskier for my men, Voelker. I'm sure even you can appreciate that conducting operations during the day leaves us a lot more open to being noticed…and shot. The least you could do is show your hand."
"I am sorry, Colonel. Not until we are all in camp."
Hogan found it hard to resist the urge to throttle Voelker. Not only because of the man's stubbornness, but because his continued defiance was in essence questioning the integrity of Hogan and his men. Still, Hogan kept the worst of his thoughts to himself, and concentrated on the mission at hand. If he couldn't get Voelker to tip his hand, he would have to make sure he did so when the time came. And God help them both if Voelker tried to hold back then. "Tell your family they'll have to be ready to follow orders once they are with me and my men. And that includes you," Hogan said gruffly. "Once you're at Stalag 13 you're under my command. Anything but strict adherence to the rules could have disastrous results…for all of us."
"Understood, Colonel. We will do as you say."
"I hope the rest of your family isn't quite as stubborn as you," Hogan said. And, purposefully lowering his pistol, Hogan headed back into the woods.
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"Nothing, Colonel. Not a thing out of place, and nothing that looks remotely suspicious," Kinch reported.
"Same goes for me, Colonel. Although I was concerned about some of the food I found in the kitchen," added Le Beau. "But I decided that was not a bomb; just poison."
"What about you fellas?" asked Hogan, turning to Carter and Newkirk. The group had met back in Barracks Two just before evening roll call, to compare notes.
"Everything seemed okay, Colonel," said Newkirk. "But there's so much bleedin' stuff in there it's hard to tell."
"We went through everything, sir. It's just impossible to find something when you don't have any idea what you're looking for," Carter said.
"How did you go, Colonel?" asked Kinch.
"Change of plans," Hogan said, avoiding a direct answer. "We'll bring his family in when the inspection group comes through the front gates."
"But Colonel, that's broad daylight!" protested Le Beau.
"You're very observant, Le Beau," Hogan said. "That's why you'll be meeting them at the tunnel entrance. We'll need a sharp-witted person to make sure things go right while the rest of us make sure the Germans are kept busy. The boy will be coming wearing a blindfold; make sure it's taken off as soon as he's downstairs."
"Oui, Colonel."
"Now," mused Hogan, rubbing his chin, "we've got to find that bomb. Someone has to know something. Kinch, did the guards have anything unusual to say while you were in their hut?"
"No, Colonel, just scuttlebutt about officers who have visited the camp. I'm not sure whose side the guards think those officers are on, the way they talk about them," Kinch grinned.
"That's it!" Hogan said suddenly. "Kinch, you're a genius." Hogan stood up and headed for the door.
"What did I say?" Kinch asked the others, as Hogan swept out with fresh resolve.
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"The men will keep working tomorrow, Schultz. We aren't at all satisfied yet with the state of this camp."
Hogan had made a bee-line for Schultz, who was doing his shift slowly this evening, and occasionally stopping to stifle a yawn. "But Colonel Hogan, I don't think even the Oberfuhrer would be looking into some of the spots the prisoners are cleaning. Why would he remove drawers from desks to study them?" he asked, remembering how Kinch had scolded him when he found dust bunnies under the lowest drawer.
"Oh, now, Schultz, the men take pride in their work. They don't want the camp to be clean just on the surface; they want it to be truly sparkling, deep down where it counts." Sometimes Hogan wondered how he could keep this banter up so often. It could get tiring to pretend that your men were so easily bendable, when inside he knew they were anything but submissive, timid creatures. "We haven't done the recreation hall, or the officers' barracks yet. We'll have to get to them first thing in the morning."
"Don't bother with the Officers' Barracks," advised Schultz. "It has not been used in two months. No one goes in there."
"Well, we like to be thorough, Schultz. After all, where would an officer like to see better treated than officers' quarters?" Hogan laughed. "We're all alike, you know. Like to see our nests feathered nicely."
Schultz considered this, as visions of Hogan's "officer's quarters" in Barracks Two flashed through his mind. Hardly "feathered" the way any man of rank deserved. "Ja, I understand, Colonel Hogan," he said.
Walking beside Schultz as the guard continued his rounds, Hogan casually asked, "Gee, Schultz, it has been awhile since we've had any visitors. Who was the last one to stay here?"
Oh," Schultz thought, "that would be… General Fleischer."
"Oh that's right," Hogan agreed heartily. "What did he come here for again? To discuss a promotion with the Kommandant?"
Schultz chuckled. "No one comes here to discuss that," he muttered conspiratorially. As though his loyalty were being questioned, though, Schultz added, "But he did come with something nice for the Kommandant."
"Nice?" Hogan asked, his ears perking up.
"Yes. Very nice. He told me that the Kommandant's old gymnasium classmates were planning to surprise him on the anniversary of a very special school event, and that he hoped to bring it to the Kommandant himself."
"So what was it?" Hogan asked, alert.
"I do not know, Colonel Hogan. General Fleischer was called away from the camp urgently. He has left me the package with instructions to give it to Colonel Klink on his command."
Hogan was suddenly wired. "Where is that package now?" Schultz paused to think. "Schultz, who has it?" he asked impatiently, anxious.
"That would be telling," Schultz said. "I promised I would not say. I gave my word that I would deliver it to the Kommandant myself, and that I would tell the General the look on his face when he saw what was inside it."
"Just bursting with excitement, I'll bet," Hogan mused angrily, picturing the package exploding in Klink's face when it was opened, taking out both him and Schultz in one hit. "Schultz, has the General contacted you yet about delivering this surprise?"
"As a matter of fact, he contacted me this afternoon after the Kommandant got the prisoners started on the detailing. He asked me to make sure it was safe and said that it was going to be delivered soon."
Hogan was nearly beside himself. "Gee, Schultz, I'd love to see the package," he said, cursing himself for not sounding as calm as he hoped. He flashed a winning smile at the guard. "C'mon," he said, as though plotting secretly with Schultz, "it's just me—no one else would have to see."
"No, Colonel Hogan, I promised!"
"Oh well," Hogan said, trying to sound hurt. "Now I know why you didn't want Newkirk and Carter in the supply hut." He shot a quick look over his shoulder to see if he was getting anywhere with this, then smiled to himself when Schultz began to take the bait. "You've been keeping a big secret in there all alone—want to get all this glory for yourself!"
"No, Colonel Hogan, that is not where it is," protested Schultz.
"Or why the mess Sergeant was upset about Le Beau going through the kitchen."
"No, Colonel Hogan, the parcel is not there!"
"Or why you didn't like Kinch going into your guard house cupboards."
This is where Hogan suspected the parcel was at the start of this questioning, but knew he had to lead Schultz up to it. He was rewarded when Schultz said, "Please, Colonel Hogan, do not tell the others about it. I promised I would tell no one."
"Don't worry, Schultz," said Hogan, satisfied. "Your secret will be safe with me." And so will you and Klink. I hope.