"Do you have your ticket?"

I nodded, tears rolling silently down my cheeks.

"What about your passport?"

I nodded again and looked down at my feet, the picture blurring as my eyes overflowed with tears.

"Adam…I'm going to miss you so much."

I looked up at Charlie, whose face held the same forlorn expression, and the tears pooling on his collar made my heart wrench in pain.

"I love you," I whispered, leaning forward into his arms.

Three months flew by so fast, it was like lightening. Before I knew it, I was packing up my bedroom and deciding what was Washington-bound and what would stay. And then, I had to say goodbye to my friends. Julie flew out to Connecticut two days ago for orientation, and Portman and Fulton are getting ready to start at the University Of Minnesota in just two weeks.

"I can't believe I have to say goodbye to you…" Charlie whispered against my neck, his arms around my waist.

I ran my right hand through his hair, noticing how sickly white it was from where I'd had my cast on all those weeks.

"I'm not gonna survive, Adam."

I kissed his forehead. Charlie flew out tomorrow.

I took a deep breath and willed myself to let go of him, although my whole body screamed at me not too.

"'Bye Charlie," I said softly.

"Wait," Charlie sobbed, reaching for me blindly, pulling me close.

"I love you, so much…" I choked out, my tears staining his shirt.

"I love you too…" Charlie said softly, his arms relaxing and I slid out of them regrettably.

"I'll see you soon, ok?"

He shook his head. "I don't get holidays off this Christmas and for my summer vacation I'm going on hockey camp."

My heart tightened. A year and a half without him.

"Goodbye."

I picked up my backpack and my laptop bag and walked away from the love of my life, tears running freely down my cheeks, an empty space in my heart.

My life was over.

**

~|~ Monday, 12:19pm

I'm above an ocean somewhere, my tears long dried, but the hole in my heart still aches painfully.

Charlie and I are apart for the first time in our lives. Since we met we've been together, same elementary class, same high school, everything. And now…we're not, and it's breaking my heart. What will I do without him in Washington?

How am I supposed to breathe without Charlie when he's across the other side of the country in California?

I'm sitting here on my plane, thankfully alone, typing away. I still can't believe I actually got on the plane. I can't believe I walked away from the man I love. I can't believe he didn't beg me to stay.

Journal, I'm going to end this now, and try to get some sleep, or at least watch the movie that starts in 20 minutes. Wish me luck at Georgetown, I don't know when I'll be able to write again.

Adam D. Banks. ~|~