Chapter Two
As the sound of laughter, which had long been absent, finally filled Rafe and Alison's home - there was another couple, as much in love, but not entirely sure they'd ever be happy again.
Cameron pulled away and just looked at her. He still couldn't believe he was able to be here with her like this. He knew it was too good to be true. He'd be leaving soon. He could almost hear them calling him back right now. Maybe it was just his imagination but he didn't want to take any chances. There were some things he needed to say and he didn't want to leave her again with those things unsaid. That's what had happened the last time.
Abby hear him call her name but didn't want to move. She shut her eyes tight, still not certain she wasn't dreaming. Say what you want about this crazy town. Abby was sure if she had stayed back home she would have never been able to feel like this again. Her arms tightened around him, she felt her stomach fill with butterflies, half because he was here with here and half because she could already feel him leaving. She should be happy, she should be happy that she has been able to have at least this much time with him but she couldn't help being selfish. Every day since he'd left her, she'd felt so terribly alone. She knew there would never be anyone else.
Cameron pulled away and said again softly, "Abby."
"Yes." She whispered, already reaching for him again.
He took her hand but did not take her back into his arms. "C'mon. Sit down for a second. I need to say something."
She let him lead her to the bench, tears spilling from her eyes already. There was something in his voice that made her think it was if he had left off the last of that sentence, like he really meant to say "I need to say something - before I go."
She tightened her grip on his hand, hoping that if she held it tight enough he would stay.
Cameron didn't sit with her on the bench, but instead kneeled on the soft grass beside her.
He looked up at her with love in his eyes. She smiled down and took her fingers to push his hair off his forehead. It was as soft as she remembered.
Cam took a deep breath, still hoping he had enough time. "I have so much I want to say to you, so much that I didn't have the chance to say before I had to leave you. I really don't know where to start. So, I guess I'll start with the easiest. I love you."
Abby blinked back tears "I love you too."
"We can actually agree sometimes then, huh?" Cameron smiled.
Abby simply nodded in reply.
"I had all these plans for us Abby. I was just getting started. That night, it was so strange, I felt so invincible, like nothing could touch me. I thought we had all the time in the world."
It was no use. The tears were flowing uncontrollably now. Abby decided to just let him talk. Just hearing the sound of his voice made her happier than she'd felt in years. She brought her hand to his face and held his chin in her hands, her thumb gently passing across his bottom lip.
He leaned in and kissed her softly. As tough as it was not to linger there, he moved away and continued to speak.
"As I drove home that night, all I was thinking about was you." Cameron lifted a hand to her hair as he continued, "How soft your hair feels, how brightly your eyes sparkle, even hidden by those glasses you've always worn, and how it makes me feel when you smile at me like you're doing right now. "
He took both her hands tightly in his and tried to finish this last. "I realized that none of those things were really the reasons why I was so in love with you though. It wasn't just how you look. It's how you make me laugh. It's your stubbornness and your ability to always see both sides of things, because of how fair and honest and kind you are - how you'll take on anyone or anything that dares to mess with someone you love."
Cameron took a deep breath, tears in his own eyes. "I wanted to ask you something that night - Abby," he began, his voice beginning to shake.
"Shh - It's OK." Abby finally was able to find her voice.
"I even bought you a ring." He said, so disappointed she'd never had a chance to see it, except - most likely, in her mind.
"I know - and it's stunning. I never take it off." Abby reached to the chain on her neck, pulling it gently from underneath the collar of her shirt, holding the ring in her fingers. "I keep it right next to my heart."
He'd been watching from above since the day he'd left her. How had he never seen this? As if he was in almost a trance, Cameron reached up and unhooked the chain from her neck, letting the ring fall into the palm of his hand. He slipped the ring on her finger. It looked just as he'd imagined it would all those years ago.
As he looked into her eyes just then, he realized he'd made a huge mistake. Her eyes were now not only filled with love, but had begun to brim over with hope. He could almost see her dreaming that now there was a chance that they'd get it all back. Cameron looked down at their joined hands and touched the ring on hers. He knew it was too late. He couldn't take it off her finger now, but he was cursing himself for just making things that much harder for her to accept.
He said, his voice full of pain. "So, that's why you never found anyone else."
"Cameron." She said, her voice telling him he was being silly. "There was only one person in this world for me and that was you."
"Abby." The way he spoke her name held a warning.
"No, please, Cam. Please let me say this now." Abby took a breath to steady her self. "I died myself that night. It was almost as if I had left his world with you. At first, I couldn't do anything. I could barely stand upright or even will myself to wake up every morning. Slowly, Gwen dragged me back into the land of the living but I couldn't let anyone else get too close. I couldn't bear to have to worry about how I could save them."
"That's not you responsibility." He said, hoping she finally believed him. "Abby - it's noble, it's brave but that type of thinking - it kept you from really living. Thinking you're responsible for all of that has made you so lonely it breaks my heart."
Abby looked down at Cameron's ring on her finger as she shook her head no, tears streaming down her face.
"Stop. Don't tell me no. I want you - Abby - please look at me." Cameron lifted her chin and pressing gently but firmly, made Abby meet his eyes. "I want - I need you to move on. I don't live in this world anymore and you have too much left to do to come and live in mine."
"You can stay. I know you can. I know now that it's possible." Abby voice broke as she almost pleaded, pulling at his hands.
Cameron moved to sit next to her on the bench and pulled her into his arms. "I don't know why or how things work up there and maybe you're right. But Abby - how would I ever be able to go back and live my life again? How could you explain all that to my parents, our friends? They've already said goodbye to me. It's you, sweetheart. You're the only one who hasn't."
"I won't. I'll never say goodbye - I'll never let you go." Abby swore, her voice sounding frantic.
"You have to."
"NO. I won't. I can't. If I do, I'll have nothing." Abby began to shake uncontrollably as she spoke. "I'll have nothing Cameron. I can't let you go. I can't. I can't live if I don't have you to love." her arms tightened around him.
"Abby." He said softly. "How could you deprive someone the incredible gift that you have?" He cut her off before she could answer. "And before you even start - don't say it. I don't mean that little trick you do, seeing the future. That's not at all what I'm talking about. It's the way that you love, Abby - when you love someone you give your whole heart. That's the way that you loved me. That's your greatest gift. Keeping it all to your self, that's just being selfish."
Those were the last words she expected to hear, but she didn't care what he said. She just held on tighter.
Cameron rubbed his hands up and down her back to soothe her as he spoke. "You can still love me, I'm not asking you to stop doing that. I don't think I even want you to try because I know I will love you forever. But, you need to move on, move on and make someone else as happy as you made me. You've got too much of you life left to waste it on a dream that won't ever come true."
"Cameron.I can't.I won't," Abby sobbed, her tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"I need you to. I'm begging you to. Please. If I can't have you, and oh God, Abby, believe me - I want nothing more than to be the one who's that lucky, but if I can't, someone else should. And you - you need someone too - Abby, just as much, probably even more." He felt her shake her head no again. "Stop arguing with me, you drive me crazy!" He smiled in spite of it all as he kissed her hair. "You do. You need someone to take care of you, you're always so busy trying to take care of everyone else that you completely forget about yourself."
Abby still wouldn't speak. Cameron moved his hands to frame her face. He could feel it. It was almost time.
"Abby. Promise me you'll at least try. Please. At least one of us should get to have the life we always dreamed of. If you don't try, it's almost as if it meant nothing."
She couldn't let him think that. She didn't think she could ever love someone else again, not the way she loved Cameron. But she wouldn't let him think what they'd shared was worthless.
As she looked in his eyes, her heart almost stopped. She could see; he was going soon.
She wouldn't waste any more time arguing. "I'll try. I promise."
Cameron captured her mouth with his, all the love he'd ever felt for her, all the words he wanted to say to her for the rest of his life spoken in his kiss. He wanted to be sure she knew that though he asked her to move on, it wasn't because he didn't love her enough to stay. He would stay with her forever if he could, but it wasn't his choice.
Abby kissed him back, never, ever wanting to stop. She held on to him as tight as she possibly could knowing as she did it would never be tight enough to keep her here. She poured all the love she felt in her heart and soul into their kiss, wanting him to know that though she'd try, no one ever could compare to him, ever. She would never love anyone as much as she loved him.
At that moment, Abby felt Cameron whisper against her lips how much he loved her.
Her reply was on her own when she realized he was gone.
As the sound of laughter, which had long been absent, finally filled Rafe and Alison's home - there was another couple, as much in love, but not entirely sure they'd ever be happy again.
Cameron pulled away and just looked at her. He still couldn't believe he was able to be here with her like this. He knew it was too good to be true. He'd be leaving soon. He could almost hear them calling him back right now. Maybe it was just his imagination but he didn't want to take any chances. There were some things he needed to say and he didn't want to leave her again with those things unsaid. That's what had happened the last time.
Abby hear him call her name but didn't want to move. She shut her eyes tight, still not certain she wasn't dreaming. Say what you want about this crazy town. Abby was sure if she had stayed back home she would have never been able to feel like this again. Her arms tightened around him, she felt her stomach fill with butterflies, half because he was here with here and half because she could already feel him leaving. She should be happy, she should be happy that she has been able to have at least this much time with him but she couldn't help being selfish. Every day since he'd left her, she'd felt so terribly alone. She knew there would never be anyone else.
Cameron pulled away and said again softly, "Abby."
"Yes." She whispered, already reaching for him again.
He took her hand but did not take her back into his arms. "C'mon. Sit down for a second. I need to say something."
She let him lead her to the bench, tears spilling from her eyes already. There was something in his voice that made her think it was if he had left off the last of that sentence, like he really meant to say "I need to say something - before I go."
She tightened her grip on his hand, hoping that if she held it tight enough he would stay.
Cameron didn't sit with her on the bench, but instead kneeled on the soft grass beside her.
He looked up at her with love in his eyes. She smiled down and took her fingers to push his hair off his forehead. It was as soft as she remembered.
Cam took a deep breath, still hoping he had enough time. "I have so much I want to say to you, so much that I didn't have the chance to say before I had to leave you. I really don't know where to start. So, I guess I'll start with the easiest. I love you."
Abby blinked back tears "I love you too."
"We can actually agree sometimes then, huh?" Cameron smiled.
Abby simply nodded in reply.
"I had all these plans for us Abby. I was just getting started. That night, it was so strange, I felt so invincible, like nothing could touch me. I thought we had all the time in the world."
It was no use. The tears were flowing uncontrollably now. Abby decided to just let him talk. Just hearing the sound of his voice made her happier than she'd felt in years. She brought her hand to his face and held his chin in her hands, her thumb gently passing across his bottom lip.
He leaned in and kissed her softly. As tough as it was not to linger there, he moved away and continued to speak.
"As I drove home that night, all I was thinking about was you." Cameron lifted a hand to her hair as he continued, "How soft your hair feels, how brightly your eyes sparkle, even hidden by those glasses you've always worn, and how it makes me feel when you smile at me like you're doing right now. "
He took both her hands tightly in his and tried to finish this last. "I realized that none of those things were really the reasons why I was so in love with you though. It wasn't just how you look. It's how you make me laugh. It's your stubbornness and your ability to always see both sides of things, because of how fair and honest and kind you are - how you'll take on anyone or anything that dares to mess with someone you love."
Cameron took a deep breath, tears in his own eyes. "I wanted to ask you something that night - Abby," he began, his voice beginning to shake.
"Shh - It's OK." Abby finally was able to find her voice.
"I even bought you a ring." He said, so disappointed she'd never had a chance to see it, except - most likely, in her mind.
"I know - and it's stunning. I never take it off." Abby reached to the chain on her neck, pulling it gently from underneath the collar of her shirt, holding the ring in her fingers. "I keep it right next to my heart."
He'd been watching from above since the day he'd left her. How had he never seen this? As if he was in almost a trance, Cameron reached up and unhooked the chain from her neck, letting the ring fall into the palm of his hand. He slipped the ring on her finger. It looked just as he'd imagined it would all those years ago.
As he looked into her eyes just then, he realized he'd made a huge mistake. Her eyes were now not only filled with love, but had begun to brim over with hope. He could almost see her dreaming that now there was a chance that they'd get it all back. Cameron looked down at their joined hands and touched the ring on hers. He knew it was too late. He couldn't take it off her finger now, but he was cursing himself for just making things that much harder for her to accept.
He said, his voice full of pain. "So, that's why you never found anyone else."
"Cameron." She said, her voice telling him he was being silly. "There was only one person in this world for me and that was you."
"Abby." The way he spoke her name held a warning.
"No, please, Cam. Please let me say this now." Abby took a breath to steady her self. "I died myself that night. It was almost as if I had left his world with you. At first, I couldn't do anything. I could barely stand upright or even will myself to wake up every morning. Slowly, Gwen dragged me back into the land of the living but I couldn't let anyone else get too close. I couldn't bear to have to worry about how I could save them."
"That's not you responsibility." He said, hoping she finally believed him. "Abby - it's noble, it's brave but that type of thinking - it kept you from really living. Thinking you're responsible for all of that has made you so lonely it breaks my heart."
Abby looked down at Cameron's ring on her finger as she shook her head no, tears streaming down her face.
"Stop. Don't tell me no. I want you - Abby - please look at me." Cameron lifted her chin and pressing gently but firmly, made Abby meet his eyes. "I want - I need you to move on. I don't live in this world anymore and you have too much left to do to come and live in mine."
"You can stay. I know you can. I know now that it's possible." Abby voice broke as she almost pleaded, pulling at his hands.
Cameron moved to sit next to her on the bench and pulled her into his arms. "I don't know why or how things work up there and maybe you're right. But Abby - how would I ever be able to go back and live my life again? How could you explain all that to my parents, our friends? They've already said goodbye to me. It's you, sweetheart. You're the only one who hasn't."
"I won't. I'll never say goodbye - I'll never let you go." Abby swore, her voice sounding frantic.
"You have to."
"NO. I won't. I can't. If I do, I'll have nothing." Abby began to shake uncontrollably as she spoke. "I'll have nothing Cameron. I can't let you go. I can't. I can't live if I don't have you to love." her arms tightened around him.
"Abby." He said softly. "How could you deprive someone the incredible gift that you have?" He cut her off before she could answer. "And before you even start - don't say it. I don't mean that little trick you do, seeing the future. That's not at all what I'm talking about. It's the way that you love, Abby - when you love someone you give your whole heart. That's the way that you loved me. That's your greatest gift. Keeping it all to your self, that's just being selfish."
Those were the last words she expected to hear, but she didn't care what he said. She just held on tighter.
Cameron rubbed his hands up and down her back to soothe her as he spoke. "You can still love me, I'm not asking you to stop doing that. I don't think I even want you to try because I know I will love you forever. But, you need to move on, move on and make someone else as happy as you made me. You've got too much of you life left to waste it on a dream that won't ever come true."
"Cameron.I can't.I won't," Abby sobbed, her tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"I need you to. I'm begging you to. Please. If I can't have you, and oh God, Abby, believe me - I want nothing more than to be the one who's that lucky, but if I can't, someone else should. And you - you need someone too - Abby, just as much, probably even more." He felt her shake her head no again. "Stop arguing with me, you drive me crazy!" He smiled in spite of it all as he kissed her hair. "You do. You need someone to take care of you, you're always so busy trying to take care of everyone else that you completely forget about yourself."
Abby still wouldn't speak. Cameron moved his hands to frame her face. He could feel it. It was almost time.
"Abby. Promise me you'll at least try. Please. At least one of us should get to have the life we always dreamed of. If you don't try, it's almost as if it meant nothing."
She couldn't let him think that. She didn't think she could ever love someone else again, not the way she loved Cameron. But she wouldn't let him think what they'd shared was worthless.
As she looked in his eyes, her heart almost stopped. She could see; he was going soon.
She wouldn't waste any more time arguing. "I'll try. I promise."
Cameron captured her mouth with his, all the love he'd ever felt for her, all the words he wanted to say to her for the rest of his life spoken in his kiss. He wanted to be sure she knew that though he asked her to move on, it wasn't because he didn't love her enough to stay. He would stay with her forever if he could, but it wasn't his choice.
Abby kissed him back, never, ever wanting to stop. She held on to him as tight as she possibly could knowing as she did it would never be tight enough to keep her here. She poured all the love she felt in her heart and soul into their kiss, wanting him to know that though she'd try, no one ever could compare to him, ever. She would never love anyone as much as she loved him.
At that moment, Abby felt Cameron whisper against her lips how much he loved her.
Her reply was on her own when she realized he was gone.