Chapter Twenty-one
Happiness filled Rafe and Alison's home, but there was nothing but heartache at Abby's. She couldn't believe what he was saying.
"Cameron.." she all but pleaded, trying to hold on as he pulled away.
"Abby." He said, struggling to keep from touching her again. "I can't."
"You mean you won't." she said, tears filling her eyes.
"That's right. I won't. If I forget why I'm here, if I do what I want to do right now and believe me, I want nothing more than to be with you, I might be sent back sooner. I was sent here to help you and I don't have much time. I only have one day and I need you to listen to me."
Abby didn't want to talk. She didn't want to listen. All she wanted was Cameron. All she ever wanted was Cameron. She started to shake a bit. It had been four years since he'd first left her. She'd seen him a total of about 10 hours since he had left this earth. Every thought, every emotion that she'd felt when he left her the first time came flooding back the instant he pulled away. She was beside herself. She began to speak slowly.
"I don't want to hear it, Cameron." Her voice sounded hollow. "You should just go. You should go back where you belong, because, I can't do this either."
He could tell she wasn't angry anymore, but this was worse. Her voice was filled with grief. She sounded unbelievably sad. He'd never heard her sound like that before. He was horribly worried now. He put his arm around her shoulder and led her to the edge of the bed.
"Abby? Honey? C'mon, sit down for a second. Just let me hold you. We can talk later."
She shrank away when he tried to take her into his arms. As she looked at him with eyes that couldn't seem to focus, Abby spoke again as he just sat there helpless to console her.
"You're dead, Cameron. I know that you're dead because I watched you die. I was a mile away but I saw every single moment. I watched that car slide across the road and into the mountain. I saw the paramedics pull you from the car and put you in the ambulance. I watched as you were covered with a sheet and then, days later, I watched them bury you. You were gone and I never got a chance. We never got a chance to say goodbye."
Abby paced the room in sort of a trance. Cameron wanted her to stop. His heart was breaking as he looked on. He didn't know what to do. She was so strong, always. She always could make it through anything life threw at her. He'd never seen her like this before. It scared him beyond belief, more than whatever Caleb had planned for her - this left him more frightened than anything.
"I never could forget you. I didn't even try. And now - you keep coming back. You keep coming back and all I want is for you to stay."
"Abby, I'm sorry." He said, tears filling his own eyes.
It was as if she couldn't hear him. "I lost you once Cameron. I lost you and it was the hardest thing I ever lived through - though you're right - my life really stopped the same day yours did. I won't be able to survive it again. I won't. It will kill me."
Abby was inconsolable. She was out of her mind. She her words spilled out in a hysterical stream. Cameron felt as if he was dying all over again as he looked on.
"So go." She sobbed. "Go now, Cameron - I mean it. Leave me before I remember what it was like to have you here with me because I swear - once I do - once I really remember how it feels I won't be able to live without you. Once you leave - I'll die too. I love you with everything I am and everything I have and every time I see you - after you leave - every time I think of you another piece of me dies. It's destroying me. I can't do it anymore. I can't." Tears were flooding down her cheeks, shivering uncontrollably she collapsed where she stood.
"Abby!" Cameron called out as he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms.
She continued to sob, she continued to cry, Abby tried with all her might to fight it but she couldn't do it. She clung to him, soaking the fabric of his shirt with her tears, her breath ragged as her heart shattered.
"Shh. Shh. Abby. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said, over and over as he stroked her hair and rocked her in his arms.
What seemed like hours later, her tears began to subside. She tilted her face up to his.
Cameron was lost. Though it was the very thing he'd been fighting, it was no use. He swept Abby up into his arms as his lips found hers. He gently lay her down on the bed and covered her body with his.
As she pulled his shirt off his shoulders, as she ran her fingers across his bare back, she knew that it was a mistake but she didn't care. This is all she ever wanted. Every nerve in her body began to tingle, her pulse began to pound. She kissed him again and again, afraid to take breath, afraid to be away from him for even a second. She was sure if she did he'd disappear again and she wanted him to stay, she wanted him here. It had been so, so long.
Gently, slowly taking his time, Cameron savored every moment. He kissed her softly, relishing the taste of her, knowing that nothing he'd seen or felt since he left this earth could compare. He wanted nothing more than to feel her, the way her hair felt like strands of silk, the softness of her skin. He pushed the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, kissing every inch of her. As the memories he held of the two of them together like this filled his mind he knew without question. He would do anything he had to in order to one day be able to stay here with her forever.
Hours later, he watched her sleep, her eyes finally dry. He was shocked to see that he was still here with her - he was sure he'd messed up beyond belief. He knew he wouldn't be able to come back to her anytime soon. Before he left, Ed had said to make this visit count, and though he worried what would happen next he didn't regret what they'd shared, because she was right. They'd been robbed when he died, they hadn't had the chance to say goodbye the last time.
He spoke to her softly, telling her what he thought she should do to fight Caleb. To give him back what was his to save her self. She could see what would happen once she did and could help to stop whatever he had planned. It was the safest option. Though she was fast asleep he was sure that she would hear him.
Sliding from the bed, getting dressed, he knew what he had to do. Calling out to them in his mind, he told them he was ready to leave. Placing one last kiss on Abby's cheek, he vanished just as she began to open her eyes.
Happiness filled Rafe and Alison's home, but there was nothing but heartache at Abby's. She couldn't believe what he was saying.
"Cameron.." she all but pleaded, trying to hold on as he pulled away.
"Abby." He said, struggling to keep from touching her again. "I can't."
"You mean you won't." she said, tears filling her eyes.
"That's right. I won't. If I forget why I'm here, if I do what I want to do right now and believe me, I want nothing more than to be with you, I might be sent back sooner. I was sent here to help you and I don't have much time. I only have one day and I need you to listen to me."
Abby didn't want to talk. She didn't want to listen. All she wanted was Cameron. All she ever wanted was Cameron. She started to shake a bit. It had been four years since he'd first left her. She'd seen him a total of about 10 hours since he had left this earth. Every thought, every emotion that she'd felt when he left her the first time came flooding back the instant he pulled away. She was beside herself. She began to speak slowly.
"I don't want to hear it, Cameron." Her voice sounded hollow. "You should just go. You should go back where you belong, because, I can't do this either."
He could tell she wasn't angry anymore, but this was worse. Her voice was filled with grief. She sounded unbelievably sad. He'd never heard her sound like that before. He was horribly worried now. He put his arm around her shoulder and led her to the edge of the bed.
"Abby? Honey? C'mon, sit down for a second. Just let me hold you. We can talk later."
She shrank away when he tried to take her into his arms. As she looked at him with eyes that couldn't seem to focus, Abby spoke again as he just sat there helpless to console her.
"You're dead, Cameron. I know that you're dead because I watched you die. I was a mile away but I saw every single moment. I watched that car slide across the road and into the mountain. I saw the paramedics pull you from the car and put you in the ambulance. I watched as you were covered with a sheet and then, days later, I watched them bury you. You were gone and I never got a chance. We never got a chance to say goodbye."
Abby paced the room in sort of a trance. Cameron wanted her to stop. His heart was breaking as he looked on. He didn't know what to do. She was so strong, always. She always could make it through anything life threw at her. He'd never seen her like this before. It scared him beyond belief, more than whatever Caleb had planned for her - this left him more frightened than anything.
"I never could forget you. I didn't even try. And now - you keep coming back. You keep coming back and all I want is for you to stay."
"Abby, I'm sorry." He said, tears filling his own eyes.
It was as if she couldn't hear him. "I lost you once Cameron. I lost you and it was the hardest thing I ever lived through - though you're right - my life really stopped the same day yours did. I won't be able to survive it again. I won't. It will kill me."
Abby was inconsolable. She was out of her mind. She her words spilled out in a hysterical stream. Cameron felt as if he was dying all over again as he looked on.
"So go." She sobbed. "Go now, Cameron - I mean it. Leave me before I remember what it was like to have you here with me because I swear - once I do - once I really remember how it feels I won't be able to live without you. Once you leave - I'll die too. I love you with everything I am and everything I have and every time I see you - after you leave - every time I think of you another piece of me dies. It's destroying me. I can't do it anymore. I can't." Tears were flooding down her cheeks, shivering uncontrollably she collapsed where she stood.
"Abby!" Cameron called out as he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms.
She continued to sob, she continued to cry, Abby tried with all her might to fight it but she couldn't do it. She clung to him, soaking the fabric of his shirt with her tears, her breath ragged as her heart shattered.
"Shh. Shh. Abby. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said, over and over as he stroked her hair and rocked her in his arms.
What seemed like hours later, her tears began to subside. She tilted her face up to his.
Cameron was lost. Though it was the very thing he'd been fighting, it was no use. He swept Abby up into his arms as his lips found hers. He gently lay her down on the bed and covered her body with his.
As she pulled his shirt off his shoulders, as she ran her fingers across his bare back, she knew that it was a mistake but she didn't care. This is all she ever wanted. Every nerve in her body began to tingle, her pulse began to pound. She kissed him again and again, afraid to take breath, afraid to be away from him for even a second. She was sure if she did he'd disappear again and she wanted him to stay, she wanted him here. It had been so, so long.
Gently, slowly taking his time, Cameron savored every moment. He kissed her softly, relishing the taste of her, knowing that nothing he'd seen or felt since he left this earth could compare. He wanted nothing more than to feel her, the way her hair felt like strands of silk, the softness of her skin. He pushed the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, kissing every inch of her. As the memories he held of the two of them together like this filled his mind he knew without question. He would do anything he had to in order to one day be able to stay here with her forever.
Hours later, he watched her sleep, her eyes finally dry. He was shocked to see that he was still here with her - he was sure he'd messed up beyond belief. He knew he wouldn't be able to come back to her anytime soon. Before he left, Ed had said to make this visit count, and though he worried what would happen next he didn't regret what they'd shared, because she was right. They'd been robbed when he died, they hadn't had the chance to say goodbye the last time.
He spoke to her softly, telling her what he thought she should do to fight Caleb. To give him back what was his to save her self. She could see what would happen once she did and could help to stop whatever he had planned. It was the safest option. Though she was fast asleep he was sure that she would hear him.
Sliding from the bed, getting dressed, he knew what he had to do. Calling out to them in his mind, he told them he was ready to leave. Placing one last kiss on Abby's cheek, he vanished just as she began to open her eyes.