"...I never go to weddings..." Erik's words echoed through her head, always
they echoed through her head, as she fixed her veil and let it flow over
her wedding dress. Everything about him followed her everywhere, no matter
what she did or said, or where she went, he was always with her, inside her
head, inside her heart. not that it wasn't something she wanted; she ached
to see him, to hear his voice, to touch his face, if only it weren't for
Raoul. There was nothing she could do to stop the wedding. He seemed
intent on taking care of her, as though she were his child instead of his
fiancé. Months ago, even weeks ago she wouldn't have minded, she would
even have taken great comfort in the fact that everything was being taken
out of her hands, but now that wasn't what she wanted, she wanted to be
able to have her own life, and to choose what she wanted, and most of all,
who she wanted. But Erik had taken care of that for her. She understood
that he felt he had to do it, even if he didn't sense his life would soon
be over, he felt that he could never give her everything she wanted, only
he didn't seem to know that all she wanted, all she would ever need was
him.
Raoul was a good man, a good friend. He was kind and thoughtful and generous, and everything that any girl could ever ask for in a husband. That is, any girl who hadn't met Erik. Everyone who hadn't seen an Angel fallen from Heaven. Her Angel. Her very own, to have and to hold, only he had made her leave, he had needed to make her go away, and now she was alone, left alone in a crowd of strangers, where even her friends didn't know her. No one had known her like Erik. And she made an oath at that moment that no ever would. Not even her husband. She loved Raoul, but as her friend, as her brother, not as her husband, and she would have to tell him that, perhaps even before they were married.
A knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts, and she was brought back to the biting reality. It was her wedding day, the day she would have to marry Raoul. He would take good care of her, she knew, just as he had promised Erik, just as he would promise her in just a few minutes.
"Who is it?" Christine called to the person waiting patiently outside the door.
"It's me!" Meg called from the other side of the door. Christine rushed over and opened it for her friend. "Are you alright Christine, I've been knocking on the door for nearly five minutes now."
"Oh I'm so sorry Meg, I've just been thinking." Christine replied with a small sigh under her breath.
"Thinking about him?" Meg asked gently. When did she become a psychic? Christine thought irritably, unnerved by how transparent she realised he must be. Of course, she though, Of course Meg would know that's who I'd be thinking about on my wedding day. Not the man I was about to marry, but the man I should be about to marry. "Christine?" Meg whispered.
"Yes, I'm sorry Meg, I'm just so off centre today, I feel the way I always feel five minutes before a performance at the Opera, it's like my head is spinning."
Meg put a comforting hand on Christine's arm. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Just think, today you become the envy of every young woman in Paris!" Meg gave a small giggle. She's right; of course, every woman in Paris would give anything to be me at this moment, so why was it that she was the only one who wouldn't? Erik. Of course, the one person who could lift me higher than any cloud, higher than Heaven, and farther than dreams, to a place where everything was perfect. Of course, I always forget, when I remember Erik, to remember how much he scared me once. How terrified I was of his temper, even of his face. I wasted so much time being afraid. If only I had not been so afraid I would be with him now instead of here, about to pledge my heart and soul to someone when they already belong to another. All that Raoul will have to claim me with is my life, the life that I live only to prolong the time until I can be reunited with my love. What kind of life is that? How can I do that to Raoul, to my dear friend?
"Christine, I came to tell you that you have an hour before the wedding starts." Meg said from her position at Christine's shoulder. Christine jumped, having forgotten that Meg was even in the room. "I know that you have a lot of things on your mid right now Christine, and I strongly suggest you go over them all before you say your vows today. You must be certain that you can give your life to Raoul, even though you don't think you have a choice, I believe that you do."
"Sweet Meg," Christine thought as she watched her friend leave. I don't remember her being of such mature intellect. Maybe the time I spent beneath the opera house was time enough to change more than just my own heart. Christine had told her the whole story from beginning to end, not by choice, but because if she didn't tell somebody she knew she knew her heart would explode from the pain she kept hidden. So she confided in her friend, and she knew that Meg would not tell anyone. Meg had been and was still a very good friend to Christine, and had just given her a very good piece of advice, although she couldn't see how she had a choice. She never seemed to have a choice anymore.
Raoul was a good man, a good friend. He was kind and thoughtful and generous, and everything that any girl could ever ask for in a husband. That is, any girl who hadn't met Erik. Everyone who hadn't seen an Angel fallen from Heaven. Her Angel. Her very own, to have and to hold, only he had made her leave, he had needed to make her go away, and now she was alone, left alone in a crowd of strangers, where even her friends didn't know her. No one had known her like Erik. And she made an oath at that moment that no ever would. Not even her husband. She loved Raoul, but as her friend, as her brother, not as her husband, and she would have to tell him that, perhaps even before they were married.
A knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts, and she was brought back to the biting reality. It was her wedding day, the day she would have to marry Raoul. He would take good care of her, she knew, just as he had promised Erik, just as he would promise her in just a few minutes.
"Who is it?" Christine called to the person waiting patiently outside the door.
"It's me!" Meg called from the other side of the door. Christine rushed over and opened it for her friend. "Are you alright Christine, I've been knocking on the door for nearly five minutes now."
"Oh I'm so sorry Meg, I've just been thinking." Christine replied with a small sigh under her breath.
"Thinking about him?" Meg asked gently. When did she become a psychic? Christine thought irritably, unnerved by how transparent she realised he must be. Of course, she though, Of course Meg would know that's who I'd be thinking about on my wedding day. Not the man I was about to marry, but the man I should be about to marry. "Christine?" Meg whispered.
"Yes, I'm sorry Meg, I'm just so off centre today, I feel the way I always feel five minutes before a performance at the Opera, it's like my head is spinning."
Meg put a comforting hand on Christine's arm. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Just think, today you become the envy of every young woman in Paris!" Meg gave a small giggle. She's right; of course, every woman in Paris would give anything to be me at this moment, so why was it that she was the only one who wouldn't? Erik. Of course, the one person who could lift me higher than any cloud, higher than Heaven, and farther than dreams, to a place where everything was perfect. Of course, I always forget, when I remember Erik, to remember how much he scared me once. How terrified I was of his temper, even of his face. I wasted so much time being afraid. If only I had not been so afraid I would be with him now instead of here, about to pledge my heart and soul to someone when they already belong to another. All that Raoul will have to claim me with is my life, the life that I live only to prolong the time until I can be reunited with my love. What kind of life is that? How can I do that to Raoul, to my dear friend?
"Christine, I came to tell you that you have an hour before the wedding starts." Meg said from her position at Christine's shoulder. Christine jumped, having forgotten that Meg was even in the room. "I know that you have a lot of things on your mid right now Christine, and I strongly suggest you go over them all before you say your vows today. You must be certain that you can give your life to Raoul, even though you don't think you have a choice, I believe that you do."
"Sweet Meg," Christine thought as she watched her friend leave. I don't remember her being of such mature intellect. Maybe the time I spent beneath the opera house was time enough to change more than just my own heart. Christine had told her the whole story from beginning to end, not by choice, but because if she didn't tell somebody she knew she knew her heart would explode from the pain she kept hidden. So she confided in her friend, and she knew that Meg would not tell anyone. Meg had been and was still a very good friend to Christine, and had just given her a very good piece of advice, although she couldn't see how she had a choice. She never seemed to have a choice anymore.