- warnings -
fluff. Humor. OOC, I imagine. italics denote Ryou's thoughts.
- author thoughts… -
I was reading a particularly boring chapter in Hunter Safety on outdoor safety, and one of the parts of the chapter was a list of things you should keep in your car in case you get stranded during a winter storm… which somehow led to the visual of Bakura finding different sexual uses for those supplies. My entire intent in this, I suppose, is to be funny, and cute, and make people laugh. So, uhm, enjoy.
"Thanks." Ryou hung up his cell phone and set it on the dashboard of his car. A quick glance to the passenger seat showed that sometime while he had been talking to Yuugi, Bakura had left the car. "Damn it," he swore. It was snowing harder than when they had left the house, and Bakura had made it quite obvious that he didn't like snow… but for some reason, he always kept going out into it.
Opening the car door just enough to poke his head out, he shouted, "Bakura, get back into the car before you catch hypothermia!" Great, I sound like a mother scolding her child. With that he slammed his door shut and leaned over the seat to dig through his backseat, which was messy and littered with various winter car safety supplies. Well, at least that website on winter safety actually came in handy. Now I can tell Bakura that I'm not paranoid.
He heard Bakura get into the car, proclaiming loudly: "It's fucking cold!"
Ryou rolled his eyes and tossed the spare blanket he had just located to Bakura. "There, wrap up and sit still."
"Why?"
"Body heat. Don't waste it; the last thing I need is for you to get sick before Yuugi comes to help us start the car."
"Hmph." Bakura leaned over the backseat with Ryou. "What are you doing?"
"Looking for jumper cables," Ryou answered distractedly.
Bakura started looking through the backseat too, which was more counterproductive than helpful. After a little bit of getting nowhere, Bakura commented, "Hey, I know what we could use these for…"
Ryou looked up to see Bakura holding the jumper cables, grinning deviously. "No!" Ryou immediately protested, sitting in his seat and taking the cables from Bakura.
"It could feel good-"
"You are not attaching jumper cables to ANY part of my body!" Ryou set the cables on the dashboard beside his cell phone. "Besides, we need these from when Yuugi gets here." He crossed his arms protectively over his chest and leaned back in his seat, hoping that Bakura would follow suit and sit still.
Of course, Bakura wasn't a monkey-see-monkey-do sort of person; he kept searching the backseat, mumbling to himself.
"Oh! This could come in handy if we're stuck for too long…"
Ryou looked over to see Bakura eying the motor oil. "How do you figure?"
"To fuck you senseless, of course."
Ryou paled and argued, "Are you out of your mind? That's not what motor oil is used for! Do you know what that's made of?"
"No," Bakura answered. "Do you?"
Ryou blinked. Damn. "No… but I know that it's nothing I'd want in my body."
"You're such a coward sometimes." Bakura went back to scouring the winter safety supplies. "Matches! If you only had some candles back here… you do! Terrific!"
Help. Ryou sunk down a little in his seat. If Yuugi doesn't get here soon, Bakura is going to molest me. "We're not playing with wax in my car. It's too messy."
"Do you expect not to have sex the entire time we're stuck here?" Bakura demanded dramatically. "What do you expect us to do?"
"Bakura, it won't be more than an hour. The battery just died-"
"Died sounds like a long time."
"But it's not really…" Ryou gave up. Bakura had already stopped listening and was continuing his task, seeking out items that could be doubled for use in sex.
"Ryou," he said mischievously, "you have rope back here."
Thankfully there were headlights heading towards the car, and within moments Ryou saw that it was Yuugi's car. Yes! "Yuugi's here." Ryou exited the car, jumper cables in hand, and all but hugged Yuugi as he saw the tri-haired boy leave the car.
"Just the battery?" Yuugi asked.
Ryou nodded and handed Yuugi the cables. "You saved me."
"It's nothing," Yuugi answered, blushing.
In no time they had the car running, with plans of Yuugi following them to Ryou's house just in case the battery died again. Bakura was pouting in the passenger seat, and didn't speak until they were near home.
"When we get home," he asked thoughtfully, "can I bring those cables in with us?"
"No!"