Disclaimer: I don't own X-men: Evolution. Yet. Just watch. I also don't
own Frisbee. Well, I do own Frisbees, a lot of them (too many), but it's
the same as Rice Krispies. I don't own the name.
Lorna
After we finished our breakfast, Alex and I decided to explore. First, we tried to find our way out of the building. Alex mentioned something about needing to see the sun. I wouldn't have minded seeing the place from the outside. So, we set out, and after about fifteen minutes, found the back door.
Alex ran outside and simply stood in the sun. I walked up behind him. "What are you doing?"
He tilted his head back, and answered, "Soaking up energy. The sun is the best source for that."
"Oh." I sat down under a tree nearby. The afternoon sun wasn't nearly as hot as in Hawaii, but it was worse than my home state of Oregon. "So, you're a mutant." I took a paperclip out of my pocket. I carry at least one all the time. For the longest time, I didn't know why, either.
"Yeah." Alex laid down, his eyes in the shade, the rest of him in the sun. "Sorry I didn't tell you." And why should he be sorry? Not like you have to tell everyone you walk up to, 'Hi, I'm a mutant. Shun me at your leisure.'
"I didn't ask you." I tested the metal inside the paperclip, and repelled it a bit. It floated above my palm. "Well, now you know I am a walking magnet, and I know you shoot energy from your hands. Anything else I need to know?"
"I'm single." He looked back at me, his eyes looking a little too much like puppy dog eyes.
"Desperate, you mean." Come on, the guy leaves Hawaii, of all places, to make sure that Magneto jerk doesn't get me. Me! I'd call that a little desperate. I changed the polarity in my palm quickly, making the paperclip spin.
"Because I'm the wonderful guy that I am, I'm not going to dignify that with a response." I chuckled at that, and started floating the paperclip carefully over the ground, using the waves of magnetism to repel it. "Instead, I'm going to tell you that my brother, Scott, shoots laser beams of death out of his eyes. That's why he wears the red sunglasses. For some weird scientific reason, the red glasses block the eye beams." Huh. Would never have considered that. "Also, my parents in Hawaii are not his parents. Our real parents died in a plane crash. Mom and Dad adopted me, and didn't even know I had a brother."
So, Alex and I have more in common than I thought. But he really was luckier. He was young enough to be acceptable for adoption. Me? My parents got in a car crash when I was ten, and I've bounced from orphanage to foster home for years now. No one wants to adopt a green-haired kid.
"I guess I'd better tell you some of my life story too, huh?" He nodded, his eyes following the paperclip that I was dancing around on the grass. "My hair was always green. Of course, the doctors didn't know that, because I was born with no hair. But sure enough, this grass started to grow on my head." Alex nodded, a little grin on his face. "First, my parents tried hats. But then, my first doctor's appointment came. So, they dyed my hair brown. That's all I can remember for the longest time: my mom dying my hair. When I turned nine, she showed me how to dye my own hair, and I took over. By the time I was ten, they...weren't around anymore."
My paperclip dropped, and Alex flipped himself over onto his stomach. He just looked at me, and I knew that he didn't pity me, like anyone else would. He didn't need to. "All of us are far from our parents, here. We orphans simply are a bit farther away from ours than others." He grinned at me, and I smiled back. It was a watery smile, but still, it was genuine. Not like the fake smiles I always gave the social workers when they asked, 'Are you adjusting, Lorna?'
"Thanks." I looked across the field at some bursts of sound and light. Were those actually people? "Can I ask something?" He nodded, and I went completely on my own tangent. "Do you know anything about anyone else? Other than Scott, I mean."
Alex shrugged. "Not much. I know all about Jean, 'cause Scott rarely talks about anything else..." I motioned for him to continue. I only knew that she was perfect. Scott talks a lot when he flies. "She's got telekinetic and telepathic powers, like Professor Xavier. She's also the most normal student here. She was MVP for her soccer team for a while."
"And, of course, she's perfect..." I said. I couldn't help it. This little piece inside me was jealous of how her life seemed to work out for her. She had everything she'd ever needed.
Alex shook his head. "She isn't. Scott told me that she's afraid of clowns. When they went to the carnival one time, she almost freaked out." Well, I think I just found my Halloween costume!
On the same lawn, this kid was playing Frisbee with a, for lack of a better word, dog. It looked more like a wolf, but that's the first time I've ever seen a wolf in a domestic place, or playing catch with a twelve-year-old boy. He threw the Frisbee in our direction, and the wolf made a flying leap, caught it, and was on a path to collide with us. I don't know about Alex, but I was not about to be mauled by a domesticated wolf, no matter how tame it was. I scrambled more into the shade of the tree, away from the claws and teeth. Alex just sat up. I guess his mutant associations have destroyed his fear drive. When your brother can shoot lasers out of his eyes, you've seen it all.
The wolf landed near Alex's feet, and cocked its head at what it saw. I swear, it was trying to remember us. Don't ask why, but I guess it was because of the body language. It dropped its Frisbee, and...um...stood up.
The wolf turned into a little girl. Well, not little, she looked like an average girl, but I was not expecting a WEREWOLF in this place. I think that nothing would surprise me now. First Kurt, then this girl. I bet there's a kid who glows with radiation, too.
"Who're yeh?" she asked. She has an accent, Kurt has an accent, I think there's a pattern here. Welcome to International Mutant High! Have an accent? Shunned by your neighbors? Come on down!
"Alex Summers. Are you Rahne Sinclair?" How could he know her name? He turned to face me for a moment, and indicated his eyes. Oh. I guess Scott told him about wolf-girl.
Rahne's face lit up. Her expression could change so quickly. "Ah! Yer Scott's little surfing brother. Yer actually here t'stay?" Alex nodded, and she called out, "Look! Jamie! It's Scott's brother! And-"
I quickly supplied my name, nice and loud for Jamie. "Lorna Dane! New kid!" He came running across the lawn, and caught his foot on some unseen hole in the grass about two yards away from us. Well, maybe it was just on his own ankle. Whatever, he fell forward. I didn't think, just jumped up and ran to catch him.
Which him? There were probably about four Jamies on the ground. I stood over all of them, reaching out a hand to help one up, changing my mind, then tried to help another one. Eventually, I wasn't able to help any of them up, and they all kind of dissolved into one another.
Jamie picked his single self up, now, and looked at me. I should remember this. Don't hit Jamie. Okaaaaaaaaay...stored. File under "warnings". "Are you the new mutant?"
News travels that fast? Well, they are teenagers, and guys are the biggest gossips. I'm surprised it didn't reach Rahne. "Yeah."
He squinted at me, and I felt like an animal at the Humane Society. See? Lookit! I'm friendly! Pick me for a friend! Pleeeeeze? "Neat hair. Is it really that color?" Well, that was a complete one-eighty. I guess when you're twelve, you don't bother with the usual openings. 'How are you?' 'Fine.' 'Strange weather we've been having.' 'Yup.' 'Your hair is weird.' 'Huh?'
"Well, I dye it. It's really all green." When his eyes bugged out of his head, I decided to take this normal response one step further. "I've been thinking of letting it grow out all green."
"Whoa! That'd be sooo cool! You should do that! You really really should do that!" Ohhh-kaaay...hope he doesn't blow a blood vessel with that...
Alex stood up and waved at Jamie, who asked him, "Don't you think it'd be cool if she had all green hair?" When he nodded, Jamie suddenly shifted his focus onto Alex. "You're the surfing Summers?"
I guess he was not really willing to be the center of attention, because he just nodded again. I decided to help him, and take the attention off of my hair at the same time. "He's just modest. I've actually seen him surf, and he rocks." Alex held his hands up in a 'Stop, please. No more!' sort of position. I shrugged at him, and continued, "He tried teaching me to surf, but we were kind of sidetracked from our lesson."
Jamie's jaw hit the ground, and Rahne said, "Should this be something Scott should know?"
Jamie recovered, and clamped his hands to his ears. "I'm not hearing this! I'm not hearing this!"
"No, no, no!" I reached over to Jamie and took his hands off of his ears. "The X-jet showed up, and we were kind of recruited." Alex let loose this little gust of air. You'd think that he was afraid I'd mention Magneto to these kids. Well, time for another shift in the conversation. "How did you two get recruited?"
Rahne grinned, bearing fangs that were a shade too long for polite society. "Moira, me foster mum, knows Professor Xavier. She gave me the choice of staying here." Chalk up another kid with foster parents. Somehow, though, I think that she likes Moira better than I ever liked my own foster parents.
Jamie rubbed his eye, and said nonchalantly, "I, well, ran into some bleachers at school during gym and met me... times ten. Next thing I know, Professor X was on my front thingy." He waved his hand in the air, searching for the word. "Umm...what is that? The thing in front of your door? That thing with a deck, that's not a deck... You know..."
All of us other three shrugged.
Rahne started to say something, but she stopped immediately when a blond guy barreled into the ground. No, really. Headfirst. He stood up, shook his wooziness out, and waved a little 'hello' to all of us. I saw her cheer up immediately out of the corner of my eye.
"Hey, Rahne, Logan is gonna let us all go to the mall in the X-van. He's even letting Bobby drive." He started gearing up for another round of that crazy pinball, when he turned back to Rahne. "Ah can cannonball ya there if ya want ta go." Rahne practically leaped into his arms. When she was cozily situated, they took off. I sense a budding romance somewhere!
Jamie looked at Alex, back at the fireball, and ran after them, yelling, "Hey! Wait for me!"
Huh. Weird kid. I turned to Alex to comment on him, but I kind of forgot what I was going to say. He was just looking at me in this weird way.
"Did you mean that?" Umm...
"Did I mean what?" So I restated what he had said. It's a valid question. And I didn't know at all what he was asking.
"When you told Jamie that you were growing out your hair. Well?"
Huh. I really hadn't been thinking about any of that. I'd just said that to get a reaction. But now that I think about it... "Well, maybe. I'd have to see how it goes. Why?"
Suddenly, he seemed to find the tops of his feet fascinating, and mumbled, "Mm mnk mn'd mmk mmmmm mn ymm." Well, that was very informative.
"What?" Poke, poke, prod...
He turned two shades of red and said (barely audibly), "I think it'd look good on you." He studied his sand-covered feet again, and I- I don't know what I did. Did he just complement me? Did he just complement my hair? Here he was, blushing. I put my hand up to my cheek and knew I was blushing too.
I guess I had been hasty when I teased Rahne in my head. Talking to Alex is suddenly intensely difficult after two days of easy chatter. What changed? Our conversation had been a lot more serious before, and I think neither of us had any trouble talking...
Gotta get out of here, give myself space to think! "Yeah? Um... I have to ask around, find my room... Haven't even seen it yet, y'know?"
"Yeah," Alex agreed, nervously rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. He looked so much like a lost puppy right then that I wanted to comfort him, somehow. Stay away. Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! "I need to find mine, too. See you at dinner?"
"Yeah." I found the closest door, turned the handle, and opened it, all before I got to it. I could get used to showcasing my powers. Can I get used to Alex?
I looked back at him, still standing in the shadow of the tree.
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
A/N: Okay, I guess I might have left you hanging there. But I've been begged for cuteness, and I didn't feel that either character was really ready for too much cuteness. They've only known each other for two days, for Pete's sake.
Flyby Stardancer: Ooh! My best buddy, I'm so glad you like it. See? I didn't tell you all of this chappy. I felt like you needed a bit of a surprise! Woot!
Suzaka: *sniff* Thanky muchly! Hope you didn't suffer too much brain damage. Enjoy!
Piers: Hmmmm... I wonder who you are... Thank you, dear. I'm glad you like the Magneto stuff. I think I'll include the whole Magneto kicks their butts thing. Love you.
And, since I'm just that kind of person, I'm going to share what I learned from my name book:
Lorna: A short form of Lorena/ Lorena: A feminine form of Lawrence, "the laurel" (Latin)
Alex: (Alexander) "Helper of mankind" (Greek). A name made famous by the conqueror Alexander the Great.
Jamie: (James) "The supplanter" (Hebrew). Originally a form of Jacob. One of the disciples and an apostle. St. James the Apostle is the patron saint of Spain.
Sam: (Samuel) "Asked of God" (Hebrew) -OR- (Samson) "Like the sun, or resplendent" (Hebrew); but suggesting "strength" from Samson, the strong man of the Bible.
Couldn't find Rahne. It's just too cool of a name. Looks like these characters weren't chosen for their names' meanings. Or were they? Hmm... It is something to be pondered... I want to interpret the other names as they show up. Is that okay with you? Well, too bad! I stick my tongue out at you! Pbbbblttt!!! *spit* *splatter*
Lorna
After we finished our breakfast, Alex and I decided to explore. First, we tried to find our way out of the building. Alex mentioned something about needing to see the sun. I wouldn't have minded seeing the place from the outside. So, we set out, and after about fifteen minutes, found the back door.
Alex ran outside and simply stood in the sun. I walked up behind him. "What are you doing?"
He tilted his head back, and answered, "Soaking up energy. The sun is the best source for that."
"Oh." I sat down under a tree nearby. The afternoon sun wasn't nearly as hot as in Hawaii, but it was worse than my home state of Oregon. "So, you're a mutant." I took a paperclip out of my pocket. I carry at least one all the time. For the longest time, I didn't know why, either.
"Yeah." Alex laid down, his eyes in the shade, the rest of him in the sun. "Sorry I didn't tell you." And why should he be sorry? Not like you have to tell everyone you walk up to, 'Hi, I'm a mutant. Shun me at your leisure.'
"I didn't ask you." I tested the metal inside the paperclip, and repelled it a bit. It floated above my palm. "Well, now you know I am a walking magnet, and I know you shoot energy from your hands. Anything else I need to know?"
"I'm single." He looked back at me, his eyes looking a little too much like puppy dog eyes.
"Desperate, you mean." Come on, the guy leaves Hawaii, of all places, to make sure that Magneto jerk doesn't get me. Me! I'd call that a little desperate. I changed the polarity in my palm quickly, making the paperclip spin.
"Because I'm the wonderful guy that I am, I'm not going to dignify that with a response." I chuckled at that, and started floating the paperclip carefully over the ground, using the waves of magnetism to repel it. "Instead, I'm going to tell you that my brother, Scott, shoots laser beams of death out of his eyes. That's why he wears the red sunglasses. For some weird scientific reason, the red glasses block the eye beams." Huh. Would never have considered that. "Also, my parents in Hawaii are not his parents. Our real parents died in a plane crash. Mom and Dad adopted me, and didn't even know I had a brother."
So, Alex and I have more in common than I thought. But he really was luckier. He was young enough to be acceptable for adoption. Me? My parents got in a car crash when I was ten, and I've bounced from orphanage to foster home for years now. No one wants to adopt a green-haired kid.
"I guess I'd better tell you some of my life story too, huh?" He nodded, his eyes following the paperclip that I was dancing around on the grass. "My hair was always green. Of course, the doctors didn't know that, because I was born with no hair. But sure enough, this grass started to grow on my head." Alex nodded, a little grin on his face. "First, my parents tried hats. But then, my first doctor's appointment came. So, they dyed my hair brown. That's all I can remember for the longest time: my mom dying my hair. When I turned nine, she showed me how to dye my own hair, and I took over. By the time I was ten, they...weren't around anymore."
My paperclip dropped, and Alex flipped himself over onto his stomach. He just looked at me, and I knew that he didn't pity me, like anyone else would. He didn't need to. "All of us are far from our parents, here. We orphans simply are a bit farther away from ours than others." He grinned at me, and I smiled back. It was a watery smile, but still, it was genuine. Not like the fake smiles I always gave the social workers when they asked, 'Are you adjusting, Lorna?'
"Thanks." I looked across the field at some bursts of sound and light. Were those actually people? "Can I ask something?" He nodded, and I went completely on my own tangent. "Do you know anything about anyone else? Other than Scott, I mean."
Alex shrugged. "Not much. I know all about Jean, 'cause Scott rarely talks about anything else..." I motioned for him to continue. I only knew that she was perfect. Scott talks a lot when he flies. "She's got telekinetic and telepathic powers, like Professor Xavier. She's also the most normal student here. She was MVP for her soccer team for a while."
"And, of course, she's perfect..." I said. I couldn't help it. This little piece inside me was jealous of how her life seemed to work out for her. She had everything she'd ever needed.
Alex shook his head. "She isn't. Scott told me that she's afraid of clowns. When they went to the carnival one time, she almost freaked out." Well, I think I just found my Halloween costume!
On the same lawn, this kid was playing Frisbee with a, for lack of a better word, dog. It looked more like a wolf, but that's the first time I've ever seen a wolf in a domestic place, or playing catch with a twelve-year-old boy. He threw the Frisbee in our direction, and the wolf made a flying leap, caught it, and was on a path to collide with us. I don't know about Alex, but I was not about to be mauled by a domesticated wolf, no matter how tame it was. I scrambled more into the shade of the tree, away from the claws and teeth. Alex just sat up. I guess his mutant associations have destroyed his fear drive. When your brother can shoot lasers out of his eyes, you've seen it all.
The wolf landed near Alex's feet, and cocked its head at what it saw. I swear, it was trying to remember us. Don't ask why, but I guess it was because of the body language. It dropped its Frisbee, and...um...stood up.
The wolf turned into a little girl. Well, not little, she looked like an average girl, but I was not expecting a WEREWOLF in this place. I think that nothing would surprise me now. First Kurt, then this girl. I bet there's a kid who glows with radiation, too.
"Who're yeh?" she asked. She has an accent, Kurt has an accent, I think there's a pattern here. Welcome to International Mutant High! Have an accent? Shunned by your neighbors? Come on down!
"Alex Summers. Are you Rahne Sinclair?" How could he know her name? He turned to face me for a moment, and indicated his eyes. Oh. I guess Scott told him about wolf-girl.
Rahne's face lit up. Her expression could change so quickly. "Ah! Yer Scott's little surfing brother. Yer actually here t'stay?" Alex nodded, and she called out, "Look! Jamie! It's Scott's brother! And-"
I quickly supplied my name, nice and loud for Jamie. "Lorna Dane! New kid!" He came running across the lawn, and caught his foot on some unseen hole in the grass about two yards away from us. Well, maybe it was just on his own ankle. Whatever, he fell forward. I didn't think, just jumped up and ran to catch him.
Which him? There were probably about four Jamies on the ground. I stood over all of them, reaching out a hand to help one up, changing my mind, then tried to help another one. Eventually, I wasn't able to help any of them up, and they all kind of dissolved into one another.
Jamie picked his single self up, now, and looked at me. I should remember this. Don't hit Jamie. Okaaaaaaaaay...stored. File under "warnings". "Are you the new mutant?"
News travels that fast? Well, they are teenagers, and guys are the biggest gossips. I'm surprised it didn't reach Rahne. "Yeah."
He squinted at me, and I felt like an animal at the Humane Society. See? Lookit! I'm friendly! Pick me for a friend! Pleeeeeze? "Neat hair. Is it really that color?" Well, that was a complete one-eighty. I guess when you're twelve, you don't bother with the usual openings. 'How are you?' 'Fine.' 'Strange weather we've been having.' 'Yup.' 'Your hair is weird.' 'Huh?'
"Well, I dye it. It's really all green." When his eyes bugged out of his head, I decided to take this normal response one step further. "I've been thinking of letting it grow out all green."
"Whoa! That'd be sooo cool! You should do that! You really really should do that!" Ohhh-kaaay...hope he doesn't blow a blood vessel with that...
Alex stood up and waved at Jamie, who asked him, "Don't you think it'd be cool if she had all green hair?" When he nodded, Jamie suddenly shifted his focus onto Alex. "You're the surfing Summers?"
I guess he was not really willing to be the center of attention, because he just nodded again. I decided to help him, and take the attention off of my hair at the same time. "He's just modest. I've actually seen him surf, and he rocks." Alex held his hands up in a 'Stop, please. No more!' sort of position. I shrugged at him, and continued, "He tried teaching me to surf, but we were kind of sidetracked from our lesson."
Jamie's jaw hit the ground, and Rahne said, "Should this be something Scott should know?"
Jamie recovered, and clamped his hands to his ears. "I'm not hearing this! I'm not hearing this!"
"No, no, no!" I reached over to Jamie and took his hands off of his ears. "The X-jet showed up, and we were kind of recruited." Alex let loose this little gust of air. You'd think that he was afraid I'd mention Magneto to these kids. Well, time for another shift in the conversation. "How did you two get recruited?"
Rahne grinned, bearing fangs that were a shade too long for polite society. "Moira, me foster mum, knows Professor Xavier. She gave me the choice of staying here." Chalk up another kid with foster parents. Somehow, though, I think that she likes Moira better than I ever liked my own foster parents.
Jamie rubbed his eye, and said nonchalantly, "I, well, ran into some bleachers at school during gym and met me... times ten. Next thing I know, Professor X was on my front thingy." He waved his hand in the air, searching for the word. "Umm...what is that? The thing in front of your door? That thing with a deck, that's not a deck... You know..."
All of us other three shrugged.
Rahne started to say something, but she stopped immediately when a blond guy barreled into the ground. No, really. Headfirst. He stood up, shook his wooziness out, and waved a little 'hello' to all of us. I saw her cheer up immediately out of the corner of my eye.
"Hey, Rahne, Logan is gonna let us all go to the mall in the X-van. He's even letting Bobby drive." He started gearing up for another round of that crazy pinball, when he turned back to Rahne. "Ah can cannonball ya there if ya want ta go." Rahne practically leaped into his arms. When she was cozily situated, they took off. I sense a budding romance somewhere!
Jamie looked at Alex, back at the fireball, and ran after them, yelling, "Hey! Wait for me!"
Huh. Weird kid. I turned to Alex to comment on him, but I kind of forgot what I was going to say. He was just looking at me in this weird way.
"Did you mean that?" Umm...
"Did I mean what?" So I restated what he had said. It's a valid question. And I didn't know at all what he was asking.
"When you told Jamie that you were growing out your hair. Well?"
Huh. I really hadn't been thinking about any of that. I'd just said that to get a reaction. But now that I think about it... "Well, maybe. I'd have to see how it goes. Why?"
Suddenly, he seemed to find the tops of his feet fascinating, and mumbled, "Mm mnk mn'd mmk mmmmm mn ymm." Well, that was very informative.
"What?" Poke, poke, prod...
He turned two shades of red and said (barely audibly), "I think it'd look good on you." He studied his sand-covered feet again, and I- I don't know what I did. Did he just complement me? Did he just complement my hair? Here he was, blushing. I put my hand up to my cheek and knew I was blushing too.
I guess I had been hasty when I teased Rahne in my head. Talking to Alex is suddenly intensely difficult after two days of easy chatter. What changed? Our conversation had been a lot more serious before, and I think neither of us had any trouble talking...
Gotta get out of here, give myself space to think! "Yeah? Um... I have to ask around, find my room... Haven't even seen it yet, y'know?"
"Yeah," Alex agreed, nervously rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. He looked so much like a lost puppy right then that I wanted to comfort him, somehow. Stay away. Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! "I need to find mine, too. See you at dinner?"
"Yeah." I found the closest door, turned the handle, and opened it, all before I got to it. I could get used to showcasing my powers. Can I get used to Alex?
I looked back at him, still standing in the shadow of the tree.
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
A/N: Okay, I guess I might have left you hanging there. But I've been begged for cuteness, and I didn't feel that either character was really ready for too much cuteness. They've only known each other for two days, for Pete's sake.
Flyby Stardancer: Ooh! My best buddy, I'm so glad you like it. See? I didn't tell you all of this chappy. I felt like you needed a bit of a surprise! Woot!
Suzaka: *sniff* Thanky muchly! Hope you didn't suffer too much brain damage. Enjoy!
Piers: Hmmmm... I wonder who you are... Thank you, dear. I'm glad you like the Magneto stuff. I think I'll include the whole Magneto kicks their butts thing. Love you.
And, since I'm just that kind of person, I'm going to share what I learned from my name book:
Lorna: A short form of Lorena/ Lorena: A feminine form of Lawrence, "the laurel" (Latin)
Alex: (Alexander) "Helper of mankind" (Greek). A name made famous by the conqueror Alexander the Great.
Jamie: (James) "The supplanter" (Hebrew). Originally a form of Jacob. One of the disciples and an apostle. St. James the Apostle is the patron saint of Spain.
Sam: (Samuel) "Asked of God" (Hebrew) -OR- (Samson) "Like the sun, or resplendent" (Hebrew); but suggesting "strength" from Samson, the strong man of the Bible.
Couldn't find Rahne. It's just too cool of a name. Looks like these characters weren't chosen for their names' meanings. Or were they? Hmm... It is something to be pondered... I want to interpret the other names as they show up. Is that okay with you? Well, too bad! I stick my tongue out at you! Pbbbblttt!!! *spit* *splatter*