*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Love, Labors, Lost
Chapter 10: Hope
Rated PG-13
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"Damn!" Mamoru cursed as he slammed his fist into the wall. Damn her good heart! Why in Hell did she have to go in after him? Why in Hell didn't he grab her when he had the chance? Once again, he was too slow... He'd failed her...
NO!
He refused to think that way; right now the only thing that mattered was finding out where that bastard had taken her and her son.
He let out a growl of frustration and dug his hands through his hair to clutch his head as the image of Demando putting his hands on Usagi hit him once more. It all made sense now. Her frequent nausea and fainting spells after the fight with the Black Moon, why she had been so quiet and distant, her disappearance... God he must have been blind not to see the telltale signs of pregnancy those first few months.
Mamoru sighed and flopped down onto the couch, letting his head fall to rest in his hands.
The only part that still was not clear was Demando's re-appearance. He had died in Usa's arms had he not? Or had she just made it up? He'd read somewhere once that rape victims might try and protect their attacker. Perhaps he repented and she knew what he and the sailors would do to him if they ever found out, so she lied about his death?
He shook his head. Whatever the case, he would sort it out in time. Right now he needed to focus on getting that portal opened. He figured it lead into some sort of alternate dimension. But the only person he knew with any experience in the shifts in dimension would be Ami...
AMI! Of course! Mamoru rolled his eyes at his own stupidity as he whipped out his cell phone. In a matter of minutes he heard a familiar voice sound the customary greeting. God he loved modern technology.
"Moshi, Moshi Ami-san, you and the girls up for a teleport?" Mamoru sighed and winced at her confused answer.
"I'll explain when you get here."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Usagi fell through the door with a thud. Shaking off the feeling that the floor hurt more than it should have, she began to lift herself up, only to find that this was also a harder task than usual.
She struggled to push off the floor, but out of Sailor form her slender arms were too weak lift her body from whatever bound it. It felt as though she were trying to escape quicksand. Or like the time on the Black Moon's ship when she was trying to protect Chibi-Usa and Rubeus had turned up gravity to maximum capacity.
Same situation, different kid.
But still HER kid.
Almost simultaneously with the thought of her child, the forces holding her down were gone and Usagi was able to lift herself off of the ground easily. As she gained her footing, she shook hands, trying to rid them of the numb feeling having the blood rush to them caused. She took a step, and still felt weighed down, but it was no longer enough to keep her from moving.
Usagi gritted her teeth as she looked back at the closed doorway. She wasn't a fool, running through that door was a trap and she knew it... But something about what she saw beyond the door made her take the jump. It terrified her and at the same time she felt as though she knew every inch of the space beyond it.
Shaking her head, Usagi began to move in the direction that her mother's instincts told her Keisuke was. However as she turned she found herself facing a barrier. Demando.
Usagi panicked as she heard his laughter and felt his hands encircle her arms. Paralyzed with fear she did the only thing she could. Usagi dropped her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, willing her vocal cords to emit the shattering sound that seemed to save her so many times.
She screamed, and as the decibels rose higher and higher, the area around her began to shake with the force of her cry. Demando faded away to leave only her and the vocalization of fear before everything around her crumbled and stilled.
Slowly, Usagi could hear the faint sound of horsehair pressing against an A string. It became louder and louder until a whole orchestra ensemble joined the violin in the light musings of a waltz.
She slowly opened one eye and then another, shocked to find herself in a pink gown, Dancing and laughing teens filling the ballroom around her. Slowly she realized, with dawning horror where, and when, she was.
"Impossible." She gasped under her breath, but regained herself quickly as she remembered what was about to happen.
"Tsukino-san?"
Usagi turned around to face her junior high teacher, smiling weakly as she played out the scene.
"Hai, Haruna Sensei? Nan desuka?" She asked innocently, her mouth forming the words on their own.
"Are you feeling alright? You don't look so good." She put a steadying hand on Usagi's shoulder and peered over it. "Where's that nice young man you're here with, maybe he can get you something." She asked, genuinely concerned.
Usagi's brow suddenly became very hot, and then cool. She placed shaky fingers there and was not surprised to find that it was damp. "No..." She muttered in a defeated tone. It was all happening just the way she remembered it. Any second now Mamo-
"Usako, there you are!" he proclaimed, sighing with relief, and then softly added, "I thought I told you to sit down?" Usagi turned around to face a concerned Mamoru, looking younger, but not much more than he had in her house just a few minutes prior.
She tried to run and change the scene, but her feet stayed planted in their spot. She was doomed to repeat that horrible night.
"Sorry Mamo-chan, I- I was thirsty. You were gone longer than you said you'd be." Her sentence cracked halfway through as she felt a not too unfamiliar wave of nausea hit her and she stumbled backwards.
"Usako!"
"Usagi-san!"
The two worried voices were lost to her as she ran to the bathroom, throwing the stall door open and pushing her head in the toilet, thoroughly ridding herself of the wonderful dinner Mamoru had bought for her earlier that night.
She felt the soft fabric touch her check before it actually did. Why was this happening to her? Couldn't some things just stay buried?
"Here, take this. I felt like shit my first few weeks too. It gets easier girl, don't worry." A deep female voice said behind her.
Usagi took the toilet paper and wiped her mouth, biting back tears as she asked another question she already knew the answer to. "Your first few weeks of what?"
The girl behind her gave a startled laugh. "Of being pregnant of course!"
Usagi gave her the same terrified glare she did five years ago. "What- what makes you s-say I'm-"
The girl shrugged and rubbed a small bulge on her tummy. "You've been doin' it now for a couple weeks now. We have history together." She explained at Usagi's confused look. "And you leave for the bathroom at the same time every class. Did the same thing my first three months, same as you, regular as clockwork. Hit my forth month, BAM no more pukeing."
Usagi got up defiantly, tears stinging her eyes, "I could just be sick ya know! There's no way you can say I'm pregnant!"
The other girl's eyes softened slightly in sympathy. "You just lost it, didn't ya hon?"
Usagi balled her fists, but didn't say a word.
The girl shook her head, rummaging through her purse and pulling out her mascara. She laid a warm hand on Usagi's shoulder as she wiped away the tears and began to reapply her make-up. "I was the same way, didn't think it could happen to me... Never thought in a million years you'd loose it though, too innocent, that's probably how you got yourself knocked up. Don't even try to deny it. I can see it in your eyes. If ya don't believe me take a test. But sooner or - no, sooner, you'll have to start doing something about it. My 'rents are making me marry the father. You seem to be pretty cool with that boyfriend of yours, he's cute too. You'd probably do well to do the same. There good as knew."
When the girl finally pulled back Usagi looked away. "I already took a test." She replied bitterly, no longer fighting the re-enactment.
"It was positive yah? Told ya I'm right about these things. My mom was the same way, I guess it runs in the family." She gently touched her fingertips to Usagi's cheek. "You take care now, ya hear? Just enjoy the rest of your 8th grade dance... it'll be your last one for a while."
Usagi dumbly nodded to the girl and left the bathroom with hallow eyes. By the time she reached Mamoru, the numbness had completely consumed her soul, leaving only a shell to re-assure him that she really was fine.
Usagi slammed her fists against the floor as the strange room reformed around her and the ballroom slipped away.
"Well, that was an interesting display. It took another pregnant woman for you to finally accept your own state. And that poor blubbering fool, Endymion, thinking you merely had the flu. How could you possible claim to love someone so weak minded?" Demando re-materialized, levitating just above Usagi's shaking form.
"Shut up!" She screamed, banging her fists to the floor once again for impact. "Mamo-chan is kind and wonderful and noble and-!"
Demando flung himself at her, grabbing her chin forcefully in his hand. "You want to know something about your precious Endymion? He's right, you shouldn't blame yourself, if anyone is to 'blame' it's your 'noble' prince!"
Usagi pulled roughly out of Demando's grip and scrambled quickly away from him. "You leave him out of this! He has nothing to do with it!"
Demando's ice-blue eyes flickered with a sick mirth as his lip jerked up into a lop-sided grin. "Oh no? Lets see just how LITTLE he has to do with it shall we?"
Usagi shook her head violently and her shaking wracked her whole body as the room faded once more and a new scene began to play out.
"The time is coming, Highness." A sultry female voice echoed into the once merry halls of the Crystal Palace, now dark and grim.
The dark figure sitting on one of the two thrones at the end of the hall, shifted in his seat, sadly looking to his left at the bare one beside him. He groaned and cast down his eyes. "I cannot." He bit, his fist clenched hard enough to draw blood.
"You must." The woman said, emerging from the dark covers of a fallen banner. "You cannot change history Highness. What has happened must happen again."
"Sailor Pluto..." The words fell from Usagi's tongue upon seeing the woman's true shape, however they, being blind and deaf to her, continued on.
The man Pluto addressed as Highness unclenched his hand and looked dumbly at it, the white glove covering it now stained with blood. "You told us once, that the future is something we can change with our own hands." He looked up at the caramel-skinned woman standing before him. "I won't do it. How can I allow anyone, much less my own wife go through that hell knowing I could have done something to stop it?"
Pluto shook her head, her green-black tresses shifting and falling back in place as she did so. "Very well then, but how can you be sure the future you are putting into place isn't worse than this?"
The man shot up from his sitting position, rising to his full six foot two inches and towering over his companion. "WHAT COULD BE WORSE?"
She narrowed her ruby red eyes. "You are upset right now. It is understandable. However I will not let your emotions get in the way of the balance of time. It hurts me too, Endymion, but what once took place, must take place again. It is just the way of things."
This time Usagi gasped outright as the man only known to her up to then as 'highness' stepped out of the shadows and revealed himself to be none other than King Endymion, her future husband.
He held his stony expression a while longer, but when he saw that Sailor Pluto's resolve was steadfast, his features fell to defeat. He turned away. "What must I do?"
Pluto sighed and gripped the large staff at her side. "Take them to the same room you were brought to all those years ago. Once she is taken, do not send Tuxedo Mask after her right away... You recall how much time went by before you rescued her?"
Endymion nodded and slowly retreated back to his seat. "Now that I have agreed to betray the first person I've ever loved, would it be too much to ask that you leave me?"
Pluto gripped her staff harder, forcing her voice to remain level. "You prepared for this day, had you not? I know for a fact you and the queen talked-"
Endymion held up his hand. "JUST- leave. Please."
Pluto bit her lip and turned the love in her eyes unseen by Endymion as his focus was aimed at the glass of wine in his hand.
She paused at the door; "If- if it doesn't happen this way, there's no way to be sure your daughter would ever be born... And Keisuke-"
"Pluto..." He warned, his cobalt eyes flashing dangerously.
She nodded and turned, whispering silently, "Too bad you don't hear my cries at night, or feel my tears on your pillow... Or I'd feel sorry for you."
Usagi's mouth hung open, as she stood planted in her spot, barely noticing the surroundings as they changed back into the odd, grid walled room.
Demando shook his head disparagingly as he circled her dumbstruck form, finally stopping behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders.
"Betrayed indeed. He KNEW what my plans for you were, he knew and he let it happen. Now, what kind of lover would let another man sleep with his mate?" Demando paused and scrunched up his nose as he felt her move beneath his hands, but relaxed when he heard her emit a few soft sobs.
He smiled warmly, as warmly as a block of ice can, and turned her slowly to face him. He lifted up her shaking chin with one hand and brushed away her tears with the other.
"Now, now little rabbit, don't cry. I'm sorry that the truth hurts, but you want to know the truth don't you?"
Usagi just stared at him in horror. She knew she was being toyed with, she knew it! She was just so confused, too confused to think, too confused to fight, or was it too tired to fight? Maybe both. What had her Mamo-chan been telling her just a few hours ago? To be strong? He was always telling her to be strong. She missed him; she missed having someone who believed in her.
"Mamo-chan..." She sighed, the words just seemed so right on her tongue.
Demando cursed and shook her. "Didn't you see what he did to you? He could have stopped this, but he didn't! He's the reason you're in so much pain! He's the reason why you were separated from the ones you love!"
Usagi shook her head, snapping out of her trance at his words. "I'm the reason I'm in America. *I* left."
Demando's eyes grew wide as it seemed breathing was starting to become a hard task for him. "NO!" He choked, gripping her arms desperately. "You are powerless, someone MADE you do it."
His grip loosened and Usagi shook him off easily, jumping several feet away from him and rubbing her arms as if to rid them of his touch. "NO, I am NOT powerless. Mamo-chan told me we make our own decisions and have to live up to them."
Demando fell to his knees; sweat began to form on his brow as he balled his fists and gasped for air.
"Ha, well, then our relationship, our time together.That had to be your fault too!"
Usagi pulled her brows together, "No... THAT wasn't my fault, I'll take responsibility for my choices... Not others'. You know, you're starting to contradict yourself. Before you said that I was powerless, and now I'm omnipotent?"
His mind raced, he needed to think of something fast before she realized the truth. Anything, any little doubt she had, anything at all!
His eyes shot open and he began to yell at her, his desperateness apparent even to the lowest of sleaze. "Listen to me you little bitch, you are nothing more than whore. A cynical, pitiful, WHORE who can't even take care of her bastard son." His lips formed into a pout, his voice: a patronizing ice cool moan of mock-pity. "Whatever would your family think of you if they found out what an immoral slut you were? When they found out that their precious missing daughter was really a disgrace to the family, better to have never been found? When they see how unprepared you were, how you could have killed our son living the way you did that first year, when they see you needed to weaklings to survive?!"
"Kate and Max are NOT WEAKLINGS! *I* am NOT a weakling! Mamoru LOVES me. As for my family, my friends, they--"
"Don't know what you did! Once they see how pathetic you are they'll cast you out in an instant!"
"I didn't do ANYTHING! MAMO-CHAN!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Mamoru wrung his hangs as he stood in the Anderson's living room, nervously awaiting the arrival of the sailor senshi.
What was he going to tell them? More importantly, how was he going to tell it? "Hey guys guess what? I found Usako. Yup, I found her, but see, the funniest thing happened, you remember Demando right? Well, he isn't dead! Yeah, he's still crazy as ever and now has her trapped in some sort of weird alternate dimension. You wanna know the really funny part? I have no DAMN clue as to where it is!" He shouted the mockery aloud as his frustration with his failures began to surface once again.
"Oh God, Usako, I see now how you must have felt!"
He swung around to face the door, his rant having made him impatient. "And where are those girls..." Mamoru faltered as he came face to face with three very hurt, and very shocked faces. Oh shit. Three sail--. He furrowed his brows. There were FOUR sailors, weren't there?
As if in sync with his 56k bandwidth brain, a finger tapped his shoulder. He turned slowly and would have been relieved to see his missing senshi, had he not seen her expression: Pissed as hell.
He barely had enough time to duck as Sailor Jupiter's fist came flying in his direction. "What do you mean you don't know were she is, ASSHOLE?! You'd think that after four years of her missing, you'd keep better tabs on her when you found her! But--"
Her sentence was cut short by Mamoru's growl as he swiftly pinned her up against the fireplace. "Walk quickly Jupiter, you're on hot coals."
"Let go of her Mamoru-san, she's just upset, like you." Sailor Mars reasoned with him softly, laying a calming hand on his shoulder.
He cleared his throat and didn't fail to send her one last glare as he slowly released her back onto the ground.
Sailor Mercury swallowed nervously as she approached the shaking man with caution, not wanting a repeat of the scene just displayed. "Ma-Mamoru-san? Is what you were saying the truth? Have you really found Usagi?"
Mamoru nodded, walking over to the spot where the portal had opened. "Yes, I found her, and I will explain all of the details later, but right now we need to get her back."
When the girls started to protest, Sailor Jupiter in particular, Sailor Venus, almost forgotten in the confusion, stepped forward.
"Mamoru-san is right you guys!" She yelled.
"For right now we need to focus on getting her back!" Her voice began to crack from its commanding tone. "I- I wanna see her again so bad you guys, so can you please," She swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. "Please just listen to Mamoru-san and get her back?"
Sailor Jupiter dropped her argument and walked over to give her a small hug and led her over to a chair. "We're sorry girl, we want her back just as much as you do." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry Mamoru-san, please tell us what we need to know."
Mamoru sighed and nodded his forgiveness before returning to the topic at hand. "The spot on which I am standing, there was a portal here that must have been created by Demando that both and he and Usa were sucked into no longer than an hour ago. Mercury, do you think you can open it?"
Mercury nodded, squeezing the earring that triggered her visor and whipping out her computer. "I can sure try," she said even as she had begun typing away furiously. "A quantum field would-"
*Mamo-chan...*
Mamoru blinked, "Did you guys hear that?"
Before anyone could respond, something flickered on the spot Sailor Mercury was currently analyzing and where Mamoru had been standing just a few minutes prior.
Sailor Venus stood up slowly shaking her head. "I don't know what you heard Mamoru-san, but I definitely saw that!" She broke into a run and stopped by Sailor Mercury's side, snagging a glance over her shoulder at the small mini computer on which data was rapidly appearing.
"What's going on, Mercury?!" She almost screamed.
Mercury stammered, possibly for the first time in her life. "I- I don't know Venus, I cannot seem to get a lock on it, but this is the portal Usagi- chan went through, I'm sure of it, it reeks of her life force and... Oh God." She stated as she suddenly stopped typing.
Mamoru rushed over to the frozen blue haired girl. "What? Her life force and what?"
Sailor Mercury quickly recovered from her stupider, shaking her head and resuming her typing at a frantic rate. "No, no. It can't be... she couldn't- -"
Mamoru shook her, his voice unsteady with rising panic. "WHAT?!"
Mercury stopped once more, closing her darting eyes before opening them once more to look Mamoru in his own ocean blues, her voice level. "You were wrong, Mamoru-san, Demando didn't open that portal. Usa did. She's controlling it with. Well with her mind it seems."
Mamoru shook his head. "No, no that's impossible, she had idea what was beyond it, she only went through it when." He hesitated, looking for a substitute for the real reason. "When the stakes were too high not to go through it."
Mercury shook her head, "What do you mean by--" She trailed off when the computer in her lap began to beep.
"I got it! I got a lock!" She squealed, jumping up. "Usa's letting us in. It's just..." She hit a few keys on the tiny keypad and looked up seriously at Mamoru. "It's not very stable, I can only let as many people in as we need to get out, so Mamoru I'm afraid you'll have to go alone."
"NO!" He shouted a little too suddenly. He sighed, "There might be another person in there, a child. I'll-"
Mercury held up her hand and shook her head in bewilderment. "We know, you'll explain later. Transformed you can easily carry Usagi-chan and the child as well, although I would prefer to send in someone with you. However if my calculations are correct such a breach in capacity would rip the hold I have on it wide open.Usagi seems really weak right now, or at least her hold on this dimension is. I AM correct in assuming that you are the one who is going in after them, am I not?"
However when she glanced back up her eyes met the sight of Mamoru, already in full Tuxedo garb, an eyebrow raised at her in question as to if there was ever any doubt.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Demando covered his ears, "Stop that horrible noise!" He barked.
"MAMO-CHAN!" She screamed again in definance.
"Shut UP!" He took a menacing step towards her, grabbing both her wrists in his hands and shaking her. "Didn't you HEAR me? You are NOTHING! You ran away from home because you're WEAK and you couldn't stand to hear what they would have to say about you, because it would have been the truth!"
"No!" She called out.
"Yes!" He retorted, growing more powerful once more. "What was your plan when you came to America? You didn't HAVE one!"
"I-"
"Was WEAK!"
"It's your fault you're this way now, you have no one to blame but your self you're..."
Her fault... Strangely, Demando's words began to fade out of her head as he said those words and some other words spoken, it seemed like years ago, made their way into her subconscious.
*FLASH*
*"No honey. If you didn't want it, and he made you do it anyway, then that is in NO way your fault."*
*FLASH*
"Not my fault..." She chanted almost silently.
"Not to mention your dreadful burden on those foster parents of yours. They're in pain because of you too."
*FLASH*
*"You take on other people's hurts as your own, but in doing so you've avoided facing the responsibilities in your own life!"*
*FLASH*
"But... it's my responsibility, now." She added to the previous comment she had made to herself, her voice still no more than a whisper.
"...And your SON! Could you have been a worse parent?"
*FLASH*
*"You're the best Mama! The bestest Mama in the whole wide world!"*
*FLASH*
Usagi gave a smile, so small it was almost invisble, but a smile at the memory of her son's voice in her head. "Keisei... Oh baby I love you too..."
"Just WHAT did you think you were doing moving to another country with no employment plan and no money? Who were you thinking of? YOURSELF!"
Usagi squeezed her eyes shut tight as a full blown memory, locked away from long ago, surfaced itself at Demando's accusation.
*FLASH*
*"So... Lemme get dis straight. You's only fourteen years old?" A large greasy man who was to be Usagi's knew boss asked in a thick authentic New York accent almost immposible for her to understand.
After a quick translation in her head she nodded, a bit unsurely.
He gave a nasty chuckle, "And you got yourself knocked up?"
She shook her head in frustration. "I- I am sorry sir, I am afraid I do not know that English phrase." He had seemed a lot nicer when she talked to him over the phone in Japan.
He gave her a crooked smile and rubbed his stubble for a moment before finally speaking, or at least she thought it was speaking, again. "Aight, you's below da LE-gal workin' age 'round here, but I'ma cut you a deal... You do fo' me what you did for da fatha of ya brat, and I'll pay you fo' DAT!" He laughed as he grabbed her around the waist, and pulled him towards him. Unfortunately, not paying too much heed to her slightly protruding stomach, he hit it just in a way that made Usagi use full motherly force to dislodge herself.
"Don't you DARE hurt my BABY!" She screamed at him in Japanese, the instinctual need to pervent potential harm for her child taking her back to her roots.
He snorted and rubbed the sore area where she had kicked him; "Good luck findin' work round here froms now on, ya Jap bitch!"*
*FLASH*
Tears had begun to steadily stroll down Usagi's cheeks by now, and though silent, quite noticeable.
Demando caught sight of them and snorted, much like her would be boss. "That's right, go ahead and CRY!"
"I- I only wanted to protect him! I HAD a plan I DID, so don't say I DIDN'T!" She screamed, her throat starting to scratch from the strain.
Demando jumped back a little, as if pushed and had to bend over once more as a similar pain began to take over his body once more. "No...!" He hissed though haggard breaths.
However his predicament went unseen to Usagi as she rocked her own tired body. "I just want my baby back. I just want to see my Keisei-Baby."
Demando tried to lift his hand in protest but the pain had become too strong, and he was forced to stay doubled over as Usagi heard a word she hadn't heard in what was an eternity to her.
"Mama?"
She whirled around, not believing her ears, and half expecting him to be another memory.
He grinned wide when the face that turned was revealed to be indeed that of his precious mama and he ran to her full force.
She saw him start to run and flung open her arms open in anticipation.
"Mama!" He cried again as he almost in her arms, almost safe again, the scary room he was in almost forgotten. Almost.
But just as he was inches away from his mother's awaiting embrace an invisible wall stopped him cold in his tracks and he was dislodged into the space behind him from the force of the barrier.
"KEISUKE!" Usagi cried in anguish and panic as her son flew out of her reach once again.
Keisuke braced himself for the pain that he knew was to come when he hit ground, and was more than surprised when it didn't come. Instead he landed in what seemed to be soft... arms?
He looked up, and his mouth dropped at what he saw. It was none other than the human incarnation of his favorite hero from his Mama's bedtime stories. He'd recognize him anywhere; he was quite hard to miss. "TUXEDO MASK!" He cried in amazement.
Tuxedo Kamen blinked in surprise at first before smiling down at the boy warmly. "Hey there, Kido." He chuckled and tilted his mask, revealing his eyes as he winked at him.
Keisuke's mouth reassumed it's dropped position at this before he squinted hard at the man holding him and whispered in reverent awe, "Mr. CHIBA?"
Tuxedo Kamen made no reply, as he looked up from the boy to his desperate mother who, would look like a frantic mime, had he not known her to be a woman trying frantically to get through the invisible wall that kept her from her child and lover.
"My God..." Mamoru breathed. "She really did create this place."
Keisuke looked up to his mentor, "What do we do?"
Mamoru sighed, stroking the boy, who he had come to think of as his own son's, hair. "We pray for her Keisei, we pray."
"WHAT?! What is keeping me from them?" Usagi cried out as panic filled her when she saw Demando begin to crawl demonically towards her.
She hit her knees and she lifted her head, clenching her hands together as tightly as she could. "God, please help me! I want to get rid of him, I want him gone! Please, help me find what's keeping me from the things I want most, NEED most! WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK?!"
*FLASH*
*"YOU, Usa. The ONLY thing standing in your way is YOU! Now, you can sit in that bed; have your expected 'nervous breakdown' and indulge in self-pity and dwell on how horrible your life is. OR you can get up, and DO something about it!"*
*FLASH*
"Me?" Usagi asked herself dumbfounded. "Have I caused all this?" Usagi looked down at her hands to find her locket nestled in them and she stared at it in wonder. "Is it possible that in blaming myself for wrongs I had no part in committing, but avoided dealing with emotionally... Is it possible that I somehow recreated those problems?"
She closed her hands over the crystal, and closed her eyes as well. "It's not my fault... But it's my responsibility, now." As she repeated her words from before, a sense of serenity and understanding filled her. It was a curtain had been lifted from her eyes and she could see the scene so much more clearly now. A scream shrilled through the air to her left interrupting her newfound tranquility and she jumped, frantically looking for the source of the shriek.
What she saw brought on another different swell of emotion. Her attacker: Big, scary, powerful, manipulative Prince Demando with his freezing glances and icicle touch... That 'powerful' man was now reduced to little more than a sobbing boy, and revealed for what he really was: A sickly, cowardly rapist.
He caught her glance and pointed one of those sickly fingers at her. "You are noth-" He fell to his knees. "NOTHING! I, I OWN you!" His voice shook, and it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
Usagi just smiled and shook her head. "Not any more."
He began to hyperventilate at her words, and Usagi looked back over to her two men. Tuxedo Kamen had stood up, her son on his shoulder, hat and mask discarded as he tested the limits of the invisible wall. She caught his eye and smiled, waving him over to her. Immediately the two pairs of hands pressed up against the wall, two big, two tiny fell through and met nothing but warm air.
Mamoru smiled as his eyes met hers, and he saw that they were indeed hers. Those bright sparkling baby blue eyes full of life and the joy of life that he loved so much. But most importantly he saw, an emotion he had not seen in them for five years. Hope.
She looked so beautiful standing there, erect, confident. Her soft blonde hair, now only elbow length, looked like a halo of gold blowing around her, even the frumpy casual blue skirt and white blouse she had received from the hospital seemed to be glowing robes on her.
His smile turned a grin as he approached her, sliding Keisuke down to hug her neck, while he wrapped his arms around her waist.
Usagi closed her eyes and relished the feel of her family surrounding her, holding her, loving her.
She opened her eyes and cast them down to meet Demando's withering form, and felt... nothing. Nothing but a strong sense of pity for him, though pity of a dead man was pity well wasted.
He was dead.
Demando was dead.
He had been dead for five years, and yet it was only now that he truly died in her.
"You don't exist."
Demando moaned. "You're a whore."
"No. She's my mommy!" Keisuke chirped happily.
"You are nothing!" He croaked.
"She is everything to me." Mamoru retorted.
"You are powerless." It was barely a hiss.
"I have as much power as I need to have. But I do have power over you. YOU are nothing, and you no longer have any more of me. I've reclaimed my life."
No sooner did Usagi speak the words. No, no sooner did Usagi FEEL and MEAN the words, did Demando lay prone, and finally disappeared entirely to the nothingness from which he came.
A new feeling washed over her then, well, more like another old feeling returned. But what was it?
*FLASH*
*Her eyes were a soft green and her skin the color of porcelain, tinted lightly red with embarrassment. But there was something about this girl, she seemed through it all... Usagi tried, but couldn't put her finger exactly what it was this girl seemed to exude.*
*FLASH*
*She LOOKED happy, and they way she talked about it, so openly, as if she were telling her about a cold she'd just gotten over, or the time she fell off her bike when she was five. Could it be that there was hope for people like her?*
*FLASH*
* "I'm free."*
Freedom, she was free, just like that girl at school. She had won and the prize was her freedom. And pride. She couldn't forget that. Usagi felt as though she had conquered a country and that she could do it again to whomever else opposed her.
So Usagi turned away from Demando, into the laughing arms of Mamoru as he spun her and Keisuke around.
After about the third spin they stopped and she grinned up at him, reaching out for his hand. "Let's go home."
He raised an eyebrow at her after taking hold of her hand. "Home?"
She nodded. "Home."
Keisuke threw his arms up in the air and giggled. "Home!"
*~*~*
THE BEGINNING
*~*~*
There, two months to the day but it's there. You wanna see the clock? It's 5:39 AM and I've been up since 9:00 today. That's right, I chilled with my friends, came home, wrote, and have not slept a wink, so please excuse any typos I will correct them in the morning. Christ it's light outside now.
Make Morning = When I wake up tomorrow.
I love you all. Thank you for everything, all your support your drawings, letters of encouragement, everything. DON'T WORRY. They'll be a long epilogue to clear up any last questions plus an author's letter. ^_^
Like it? Hate it?
Adieu, REVIEW!
Claidi Winter
Love, Labors, Lost
Chapter 10: Hope
Rated PG-13
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Damn!" Mamoru cursed as he slammed his fist into the wall. Damn her good heart! Why in Hell did she have to go in after him? Why in Hell didn't he grab her when he had the chance? Once again, he was too slow... He'd failed her...
NO!
He refused to think that way; right now the only thing that mattered was finding out where that bastard had taken her and her son.
He let out a growl of frustration and dug his hands through his hair to clutch his head as the image of Demando putting his hands on Usagi hit him once more. It all made sense now. Her frequent nausea and fainting spells after the fight with the Black Moon, why she had been so quiet and distant, her disappearance... God he must have been blind not to see the telltale signs of pregnancy those first few months.
Mamoru sighed and flopped down onto the couch, letting his head fall to rest in his hands.
The only part that still was not clear was Demando's re-appearance. He had died in Usa's arms had he not? Or had she just made it up? He'd read somewhere once that rape victims might try and protect their attacker. Perhaps he repented and she knew what he and the sailors would do to him if they ever found out, so she lied about his death?
He shook his head. Whatever the case, he would sort it out in time. Right now he needed to focus on getting that portal opened. He figured it lead into some sort of alternate dimension. But the only person he knew with any experience in the shifts in dimension would be Ami...
AMI! Of course! Mamoru rolled his eyes at his own stupidity as he whipped out his cell phone. In a matter of minutes he heard a familiar voice sound the customary greeting. God he loved modern technology.
"Moshi, Moshi Ami-san, you and the girls up for a teleport?" Mamoru sighed and winced at her confused answer.
"I'll explain when you get here."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Usagi fell through the door with a thud. Shaking off the feeling that the floor hurt more than it should have, she began to lift herself up, only to find that this was also a harder task than usual.
She struggled to push off the floor, but out of Sailor form her slender arms were too weak lift her body from whatever bound it. It felt as though she were trying to escape quicksand. Or like the time on the Black Moon's ship when she was trying to protect Chibi-Usa and Rubeus had turned up gravity to maximum capacity.
Same situation, different kid.
But still HER kid.
Almost simultaneously with the thought of her child, the forces holding her down were gone and Usagi was able to lift herself off of the ground easily. As she gained her footing, she shook hands, trying to rid them of the numb feeling having the blood rush to them caused. She took a step, and still felt weighed down, but it was no longer enough to keep her from moving.
Usagi gritted her teeth as she looked back at the closed doorway. She wasn't a fool, running through that door was a trap and she knew it... But something about what she saw beyond the door made her take the jump. It terrified her and at the same time she felt as though she knew every inch of the space beyond it.
Shaking her head, Usagi began to move in the direction that her mother's instincts told her Keisuke was. However as she turned she found herself facing a barrier. Demando.
Usagi panicked as she heard his laughter and felt his hands encircle her arms. Paralyzed with fear she did the only thing she could. Usagi dropped her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, willing her vocal cords to emit the shattering sound that seemed to save her so many times.
She screamed, and as the decibels rose higher and higher, the area around her began to shake with the force of her cry. Demando faded away to leave only her and the vocalization of fear before everything around her crumbled and stilled.
Slowly, Usagi could hear the faint sound of horsehair pressing against an A string. It became louder and louder until a whole orchestra ensemble joined the violin in the light musings of a waltz.
She slowly opened one eye and then another, shocked to find herself in a pink gown, Dancing and laughing teens filling the ballroom around her. Slowly she realized, with dawning horror where, and when, she was.
"Impossible." She gasped under her breath, but regained herself quickly as she remembered what was about to happen.
"Tsukino-san?"
Usagi turned around to face her junior high teacher, smiling weakly as she played out the scene.
"Hai, Haruna Sensei? Nan desuka?" She asked innocently, her mouth forming the words on their own.
"Are you feeling alright? You don't look so good." She put a steadying hand on Usagi's shoulder and peered over it. "Where's that nice young man you're here with, maybe he can get you something." She asked, genuinely concerned.
Usagi's brow suddenly became very hot, and then cool. She placed shaky fingers there and was not surprised to find that it was damp. "No..." She muttered in a defeated tone. It was all happening just the way she remembered it. Any second now Mamo-
"Usako, there you are!" he proclaimed, sighing with relief, and then softly added, "I thought I told you to sit down?" Usagi turned around to face a concerned Mamoru, looking younger, but not much more than he had in her house just a few minutes prior.
She tried to run and change the scene, but her feet stayed planted in their spot. She was doomed to repeat that horrible night.
"Sorry Mamo-chan, I- I was thirsty. You were gone longer than you said you'd be." Her sentence cracked halfway through as she felt a not too unfamiliar wave of nausea hit her and she stumbled backwards.
"Usako!"
"Usagi-san!"
The two worried voices were lost to her as she ran to the bathroom, throwing the stall door open and pushing her head in the toilet, thoroughly ridding herself of the wonderful dinner Mamoru had bought for her earlier that night.
She felt the soft fabric touch her check before it actually did. Why was this happening to her? Couldn't some things just stay buried?
"Here, take this. I felt like shit my first few weeks too. It gets easier girl, don't worry." A deep female voice said behind her.
Usagi took the toilet paper and wiped her mouth, biting back tears as she asked another question she already knew the answer to. "Your first few weeks of what?"
The girl behind her gave a startled laugh. "Of being pregnant of course!"
Usagi gave her the same terrified glare she did five years ago. "What- what makes you s-say I'm-"
The girl shrugged and rubbed a small bulge on her tummy. "You've been doin' it now for a couple weeks now. We have history together." She explained at Usagi's confused look. "And you leave for the bathroom at the same time every class. Did the same thing my first three months, same as you, regular as clockwork. Hit my forth month, BAM no more pukeing."
Usagi got up defiantly, tears stinging her eyes, "I could just be sick ya know! There's no way you can say I'm pregnant!"
The other girl's eyes softened slightly in sympathy. "You just lost it, didn't ya hon?"
Usagi balled her fists, but didn't say a word.
The girl shook her head, rummaging through her purse and pulling out her mascara. She laid a warm hand on Usagi's shoulder as she wiped away the tears and began to reapply her make-up. "I was the same way, didn't think it could happen to me... Never thought in a million years you'd loose it though, too innocent, that's probably how you got yourself knocked up. Don't even try to deny it. I can see it in your eyes. If ya don't believe me take a test. But sooner or - no, sooner, you'll have to start doing something about it. My 'rents are making me marry the father. You seem to be pretty cool with that boyfriend of yours, he's cute too. You'd probably do well to do the same. There good as knew."
When the girl finally pulled back Usagi looked away. "I already took a test." She replied bitterly, no longer fighting the re-enactment.
"It was positive yah? Told ya I'm right about these things. My mom was the same way, I guess it runs in the family." She gently touched her fingertips to Usagi's cheek. "You take care now, ya hear? Just enjoy the rest of your 8th grade dance... it'll be your last one for a while."
Usagi dumbly nodded to the girl and left the bathroom with hallow eyes. By the time she reached Mamoru, the numbness had completely consumed her soul, leaving only a shell to re-assure him that she really was fine.
Usagi slammed her fists against the floor as the strange room reformed around her and the ballroom slipped away.
"Well, that was an interesting display. It took another pregnant woman for you to finally accept your own state. And that poor blubbering fool, Endymion, thinking you merely had the flu. How could you possible claim to love someone so weak minded?" Demando re-materialized, levitating just above Usagi's shaking form.
"Shut up!" She screamed, banging her fists to the floor once again for impact. "Mamo-chan is kind and wonderful and noble and-!"
Demando flung himself at her, grabbing her chin forcefully in his hand. "You want to know something about your precious Endymion? He's right, you shouldn't blame yourself, if anyone is to 'blame' it's your 'noble' prince!"
Usagi pulled roughly out of Demando's grip and scrambled quickly away from him. "You leave him out of this! He has nothing to do with it!"
Demando's ice-blue eyes flickered with a sick mirth as his lip jerked up into a lop-sided grin. "Oh no? Lets see just how LITTLE he has to do with it shall we?"
Usagi shook her head violently and her shaking wracked her whole body as the room faded once more and a new scene began to play out.
"The time is coming, Highness." A sultry female voice echoed into the once merry halls of the Crystal Palace, now dark and grim.
The dark figure sitting on one of the two thrones at the end of the hall, shifted in his seat, sadly looking to his left at the bare one beside him. He groaned and cast down his eyes. "I cannot." He bit, his fist clenched hard enough to draw blood.
"You must." The woman said, emerging from the dark covers of a fallen banner. "You cannot change history Highness. What has happened must happen again."
"Sailor Pluto..." The words fell from Usagi's tongue upon seeing the woman's true shape, however they, being blind and deaf to her, continued on.
The man Pluto addressed as Highness unclenched his hand and looked dumbly at it, the white glove covering it now stained with blood. "You told us once, that the future is something we can change with our own hands." He looked up at the caramel-skinned woman standing before him. "I won't do it. How can I allow anyone, much less my own wife go through that hell knowing I could have done something to stop it?"
Pluto shook her head, her green-black tresses shifting and falling back in place as she did so. "Very well then, but how can you be sure the future you are putting into place isn't worse than this?"
The man shot up from his sitting position, rising to his full six foot two inches and towering over his companion. "WHAT COULD BE WORSE?"
She narrowed her ruby red eyes. "You are upset right now. It is understandable. However I will not let your emotions get in the way of the balance of time. It hurts me too, Endymion, but what once took place, must take place again. It is just the way of things."
This time Usagi gasped outright as the man only known to her up to then as 'highness' stepped out of the shadows and revealed himself to be none other than King Endymion, her future husband.
He held his stony expression a while longer, but when he saw that Sailor Pluto's resolve was steadfast, his features fell to defeat. He turned away. "What must I do?"
Pluto sighed and gripped the large staff at her side. "Take them to the same room you were brought to all those years ago. Once she is taken, do not send Tuxedo Mask after her right away... You recall how much time went by before you rescued her?"
Endymion nodded and slowly retreated back to his seat. "Now that I have agreed to betray the first person I've ever loved, would it be too much to ask that you leave me?"
Pluto gripped her staff harder, forcing her voice to remain level. "You prepared for this day, had you not? I know for a fact you and the queen talked-"
Endymion held up his hand. "JUST- leave. Please."
Pluto bit her lip and turned the love in her eyes unseen by Endymion as his focus was aimed at the glass of wine in his hand.
She paused at the door; "If- if it doesn't happen this way, there's no way to be sure your daughter would ever be born... And Keisuke-"
"Pluto..." He warned, his cobalt eyes flashing dangerously.
She nodded and turned, whispering silently, "Too bad you don't hear my cries at night, or feel my tears on your pillow... Or I'd feel sorry for you."
Usagi's mouth hung open, as she stood planted in her spot, barely noticing the surroundings as they changed back into the odd, grid walled room.
Demando shook his head disparagingly as he circled her dumbstruck form, finally stopping behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders.
"Betrayed indeed. He KNEW what my plans for you were, he knew and he let it happen. Now, what kind of lover would let another man sleep with his mate?" Demando paused and scrunched up his nose as he felt her move beneath his hands, but relaxed when he heard her emit a few soft sobs.
He smiled warmly, as warmly as a block of ice can, and turned her slowly to face him. He lifted up her shaking chin with one hand and brushed away her tears with the other.
"Now, now little rabbit, don't cry. I'm sorry that the truth hurts, but you want to know the truth don't you?"
Usagi just stared at him in horror. She knew she was being toyed with, she knew it! She was just so confused, too confused to think, too confused to fight, or was it too tired to fight? Maybe both. What had her Mamo-chan been telling her just a few hours ago? To be strong? He was always telling her to be strong. She missed him; she missed having someone who believed in her.
"Mamo-chan..." She sighed, the words just seemed so right on her tongue.
Demando cursed and shook her. "Didn't you see what he did to you? He could have stopped this, but he didn't! He's the reason you're in so much pain! He's the reason why you were separated from the ones you love!"
Usagi shook her head, snapping out of her trance at his words. "I'm the reason I'm in America. *I* left."
Demando's eyes grew wide as it seemed breathing was starting to become a hard task for him. "NO!" He choked, gripping her arms desperately. "You are powerless, someone MADE you do it."
His grip loosened and Usagi shook him off easily, jumping several feet away from him and rubbing her arms as if to rid them of his touch. "NO, I am NOT powerless. Mamo-chan told me we make our own decisions and have to live up to them."
Demando fell to his knees; sweat began to form on his brow as he balled his fists and gasped for air.
"Ha, well, then our relationship, our time together.That had to be your fault too!"
Usagi pulled her brows together, "No... THAT wasn't my fault, I'll take responsibility for my choices... Not others'. You know, you're starting to contradict yourself. Before you said that I was powerless, and now I'm omnipotent?"
His mind raced, he needed to think of something fast before she realized the truth. Anything, any little doubt she had, anything at all!
His eyes shot open and he began to yell at her, his desperateness apparent even to the lowest of sleaze. "Listen to me you little bitch, you are nothing more than whore. A cynical, pitiful, WHORE who can't even take care of her bastard son." His lips formed into a pout, his voice: a patronizing ice cool moan of mock-pity. "Whatever would your family think of you if they found out what an immoral slut you were? When they found out that their precious missing daughter was really a disgrace to the family, better to have never been found? When they see how unprepared you were, how you could have killed our son living the way you did that first year, when they see you needed to weaklings to survive?!"
"Kate and Max are NOT WEAKLINGS! *I* am NOT a weakling! Mamoru LOVES me. As for my family, my friends, they--"
"Don't know what you did! Once they see how pathetic you are they'll cast you out in an instant!"
"I didn't do ANYTHING! MAMO-CHAN!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Mamoru wrung his hangs as he stood in the Anderson's living room, nervously awaiting the arrival of the sailor senshi.
What was he going to tell them? More importantly, how was he going to tell it? "Hey guys guess what? I found Usako. Yup, I found her, but see, the funniest thing happened, you remember Demando right? Well, he isn't dead! Yeah, he's still crazy as ever and now has her trapped in some sort of weird alternate dimension. You wanna know the really funny part? I have no DAMN clue as to where it is!" He shouted the mockery aloud as his frustration with his failures began to surface once again.
"Oh God, Usako, I see now how you must have felt!"
He swung around to face the door, his rant having made him impatient. "And where are those girls..." Mamoru faltered as he came face to face with three very hurt, and very shocked faces. Oh shit. Three sail--. He furrowed his brows. There were FOUR sailors, weren't there?
As if in sync with his 56k bandwidth brain, a finger tapped his shoulder. He turned slowly and would have been relieved to see his missing senshi, had he not seen her expression: Pissed as hell.
He barely had enough time to duck as Sailor Jupiter's fist came flying in his direction. "What do you mean you don't know were she is, ASSHOLE?! You'd think that after four years of her missing, you'd keep better tabs on her when you found her! But--"
Her sentence was cut short by Mamoru's growl as he swiftly pinned her up against the fireplace. "Walk quickly Jupiter, you're on hot coals."
"Let go of her Mamoru-san, she's just upset, like you." Sailor Mars reasoned with him softly, laying a calming hand on his shoulder.
He cleared his throat and didn't fail to send her one last glare as he slowly released her back onto the ground.
Sailor Mercury swallowed nervously as she approached the shaking man with caution, not wanting a repeat of the scene just displayed. "Ma-Mamoru-san? Is what you were saying the truth? Have you really found Usagi?"
Mamoru nodded, walking over to the spot where the portal had opened. "Yes, I found her, and I will explain all of the details later, but right now we need to get her back."
When the girls started to protest, Sailor Jupiter in particular, Sailor Venus, almost forgotten in the confusion, stepped forward.
"Mamoru-san is right you guys!" She yelled.
"For right now we need to focus on getting her back!" Her voice began to crack from its commanding tone. "I- I wanna see her again so bad you guys, so can you please," She swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. "Please just listen to Mamoru-san and get her back?"
Sailor Jupiter dropped her argument and walked over to give her a small hug and led her over to a chair. "We're sorry girl, we want her back just as much as you do." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry Mamoru-san, please tell us what we need to know."
Mamoru sighed and nodded his forgiveness before returning to the topic at hand. "The spot on which I am standing, there was a portal here that must have been created by Demando that both and he and Usa were sucked into no longer than an hour ago. Mercury, do you think you can open it?"
Mercury nodded, squeezing the earring that triggered her visor and whipping out her computer. "I can sure try," she said even as she had begun typing away furiously. "A quantum field would-"
*Mamo-chan...*
Mamoru blinked, "Did you guys hear that?"
Before anyone could respond, something flickered on the spot Sailor Mercury was currently analyzing and where Mamoru had been standing just a few minutes prior.
Sailor Venus stood up slowly shaking her head. "I don't know what you heard Mamoru-san, but I definitely saw that!" She broke into a run and stopped by Sailor Mercury's side, snagging a glance over her shoulder at the small mini computer on which data was rapidly appearing.
"What's going on, Mercury?!" She almost screamed.
Mercury stammered, possibly for the first time in her life. "I- I don't know Venus, I cannot seem to get a lock on it, but this is the portal Usagi- chan went through, I'm sure of it, it reeks of her life force and... Oh God." She stated as she suddenly stopped typing.
Mamoru rushed over to the frozen blue haired girl. "What? Her life force and what?"
Sailor Mercury quickly recovered from her stupider, shaking her head and resuming her typing at a frantic rate. "No, no. It can't be... she couldn't- -"
Mamoru shook her, his voice unsteady with rising panic. "WHAT?!"
Mercury stopped once more, closing her darting eyes before opening them once more to look Mamoru in his own ocean blues, her voice level. "You were wrong, Mamoru-san, Demando didn't open that portal. Usa did. She's controlling it with. Well with her mind it seems."
Mamoru shook his head. "No, no that's impossible, she had idea what was beyond it, she only went through it when." He hesitated, looking for a substitute for the real reason. "When the stakes were too high not to go through it."
Mercury shook her head, "What do you mean by--" She trailed off when the computer in her lap began to beep.
"I got it! I got a lock!" She squealed, jumping up. "Usa's letting us in. It's just..." She hit a few keys on the tiny keypad and looked up seriously at Mamoru. "It's not very stable, I can only let as many people in as we need to get out, so Mamoru I'm afraid you'll have to go alone."
"NO!" He shouted a little too suddenly. He sighed, "There might be another person in there, a child. I'll-"
Mercury held up her hand and shook her head in bewilderment. "We know, you'll explain later. Transformed you can easily carry Usagi-chan and the child as well, although I would prefer to send in someone with you. However if my calculations are correct such a breach in capacity would rip the hold I have on it wide open.Usagi seems really weak right now, or at least her hold on this dimension is. I AM correct in assuming that you are the one who is going in after them, am I not?"
However when she glanced back up her eyes met the sight of Mamoru, already in full Tuxedo garb, an eyebrow raised at her in question as to if there was ever any doubt.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Demando covered his ears, "Stop that horrible noise!" He barked.
"MAMO-CHAN!" She screamed again in definance.
"Shut UP!" He took a menacing step towards her, grabbing both her wrists in his hands and shaking her. "Didn't you HEAR me? You are NOTHING! You ran away from home because you're WEAK and you couldn't stand to hear what they would have to say about you, because it would have been the truth!"
"No!" She called out.
"Yes!" He retorted, growing more powerful once more. "What was your plan when you came to America? You didn't HAVE one!"
"I-"
"Was WEAK!"
"It's your fault you're this way now, you have no one to blame but your self you're..."
Her fault... Strangely, Demando's words began to fade out of her head as he said those words and some other words spoken, it seemed like years ago, made their way into her subconscious.
*FLASH*
*"No honey. If you didn't want it, and he made you do it anyway, then that is in NO way your fault."*
*FLASH*
"Not my fault..." She chanted almost silently.
"Not to mention your dreadful burden on those foster parents of yours. They're in pain because of you too."
*FLASH*
*"You take on other people's hurts as your own, but in doing so you've avoided facing the responsibilities in your own life!"*
*FLASH*
"But... it's my responsibility, now." She added to the previous comment she had made to herself, her voice still no more than a whisper.
"...And your SON! Could you have been a worse parent?"
*FLASH*
*"You're the best Mama! The bestest Mama in the whole wide world!"*
*FLASH*
Usagi gave a smile, so small it was almost invisble, but a smile at the memory of her son's voice in her head. "Keisei... Oh baby I love you too..."
"Just WHAT did you think you were doing moving to another country with no employment plan and no money? Who were you thinking of? YOURSELF!"
Usagi squeezed her eyes shut tight as a full blown memory, locked away from long ago, surfaced itself at Demando's accusation.
*FLASH*
*"So... Lemme get dis straight. You's only fourteen years old?" A large greasy man who was to be Usagi's knew boss asked in a thick authentic New York accent almost immposible for her to understand.
After a quick translation in her head she nodded, a bit unsurely.
He gave a nasty chuckle, "And you got yourself knocked up?"
She shook her head in frustration. "I- I am sorry sir, I am afraid I do not know that English phrase." He had seemed a lot nicer when she talked to him over the phone in Japan.
He gave her a crooked smile and rubbed his stubble for a moment before finally speaking, or at least she thought it was speaking, again. "Aight, you's below da LE-gal workin' age 'round here, but I'ma cut you a deal... You do fo' me what you did for da fatha of ya brat, and I'll pay you fo' DAT!" He laughed as he grabbed her around the waist, and pulled him towards him. Unfortunately, not paying too much heed to her slightly protruding stomach, he hit it just in a way that made Usagi use full motherly force to dislodge herself.
"Don't you DARE hurt my BABY!" She screamed at him in Japanese, the instinctual need to pervent potential harm for her child taking her back to her roots.
He snorted and rubbed the sore area where she had kicked him; "Good luck findin' work round here froms now on, ya Jap bitch!"*
*FLASH*
Tears had begun to steadily stroll down Usagi's cheeks by now, and though silent, quite noticeable.
Demando caught sight of them and snorted, much like her would be boss. "That's right, go ahead and CRY!"
"I- I only wanted to protect him! I HAD a plan I DID, so don't say I DIDN'T!" She screamed, her throat starting to scratch from the strain.
Demando jumped back a little, as if pushed and had to bend over once more as a similar pain began to take over his body once more. "No...!" He hissed though haggard breaths.
However his predicament went unseen to Usagi as she rocked her own tired body. "I just want my baby back. I just want to see my Keisei-Baby."
Demando tried to lift his hand in protest but the pain had become too strong, and he was forced to stay doubled over as Usagi heard a word she hadn't heard in what was an eternity to her.
"Mama?"
She whirled around, not believing her ears, and half expecting him to be another memory.
He grinned wide when the face that turned was revealed to be indeed that of his precious mama and he ran to her full force.
She saw him start to run and flung open her arms open in anticipation.
"Mama!" He cried again as he almost in her arms, almost safe again, the scary room he was in almost forgotten. Almost.
But just as he was inches away from his mother's awaiting embrace an invisible wall stopped him cold in his tracks and he was dislodged into the space behind him from the force of the barrier.
"KEISUKE!" Usagi cried in anguish and panic as her son flew out of her reach once again.
Keisuke braced himself for the pain that he knew was to come when he hit ground, and was more than surprised when it didn't come. Instead he landed in what seemed to be soft... arms?
He looked up, and his mouth dropped at what he saw. It was none other than the human incarnation of his favorite hero from his Mama's bedtime stories. He'd recognize him anywhere; he was quite hard to miss. "TUXEDO MASK!" He cried in amazement.
Tuxedo Kamen blinked in surprise at first before smiling down at the boy warmly. "Hey there, Kido." He chuckled and tilted his mask, revealing his eyes as he winked at him.
Keisuke's mouth reassumed it's dropped position at this before he squinted hard at the man holding him and whispered in reverent awe, "Mr. CHIBA?"
Tuxedo Kamen made no reply, as he looked up from the boy to his desperate mother who, would look like a frantic mime, had he not known her to be a woman trying frantically to get through the invisible wall that kept her from her child and lover.
"My God..." Mamoru breathed. "She really did create this place."
Keisuke looked up to his mentor, "What do we do?"
Mamoru sighed, stroking the boy, who he had come to think of as his own son's, hair. "We pray for her Keisei, we pray."
"WHAT?! What is keeping me from them?" Usagi cried out as panic filled her when she saw Demando begin to crawl demonically towards her.
She hit her knees and she lifted her head, clenching her hands together as tightly as she could. "God, please help me! I want to get rid of him, I want him gone! Please, help me find what's keeping me from the things I want most, NEED most! WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK?!"
*FLASH*
*"YOU, Usa. The ONLY thing standing in your way is YOU! Now, you can sit in that bed; have your expected 'nervous breakdown' and indulge in self-pity and dwell on how horrible your life is. OR you can get up, and DO something about it!"*
*FLASH*
"Me?" Usagi asked herself dumbfounded. "Have I caused all this?" Usagi looked down at her hands to find her locket nestled in them and she stared at it in wonder. "Is it possible that in blaming myself for wrongs I had no part in committing, but avoided dealing with emotionally... Is it possible that I somehow recreated those problems?"
She closed her hands over the crystal, and closed her eyes as well. "It's not my fault... But it's my responsibility, now." As she repeated her words from before, a sense of serenity and understanding filled her. It was a curtain had been lifted from her eyes and she could see the scene so much more clearly now. A scream shrilled through the air to her left interrupting her newfound tranquility and she jumped, frantically looking for the source of the shriek.
What she saw brought on another different swell of emotion. Her attacker: Big, scary, powerful, manipulative Prince Demando with his freezing glances and icicle touch... That 'powerful' man was now reduced to little more than a sobbing boy, and revealed for what he really was: A sickly, cowardly rapist.
He caught her glance and pointed one of those sickly fingers at her. "You are noth-" He fell to his knees. "NOTHING! I, I OWN you!" His voice shook, and it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
Usagi just smiled and shook her head. "Not any more."
He began to hyperventilate at her words, and Usagi looked back over to her two men. Tuxedo Kamen had stood up, her son on his shoulder, hat and mask discarded as he tested the limits of the invisible wall. She caught his eye and smiled, waving him over to her. Immediately the two pairs of hands pressed up against the wall, two big, two tiny fell through and met nothing but warm air.
Mamoru smiled as his eyes met hers, and he saw that they were indeed hers. Those bright sparkling baby blue eyes full of life and the joy of life that he loved so much. But most importantly he saw, an emotion he had not seen in them for five years. Hope.
She looked so beautiful standing there, erect, confident. Her soft blonde hair, now only elbow length, looked like a halo of gold blowing around her, even the frumpy casual blue skirt and white blouse she had received from the hospital seemed to be glowing robes on her.
His smile turned a grin as he approached her, sliding Keisuke down to hug her neck, while he wrapped his arms around her waist.
Usagi closed her eyes and relished the feel of her family surrounding her, holding her, loving her.
She opened her eyes and cast them down to meet Demando's withering form, and felt... nothing. Nothing but a strong sense of pity for him, though pity of a dead man was pity well wasted.
He was dead.
Demando was dead.
He had been dead for five years, and yet it was only now that he truly died in her.
"You don't exist."
Demando moaned. "You're a whore."
"No. She's my mommy!" Keisuke chirped happily.
"You are nothing!" He croaked.
"She is everything to me." Mamoru retorted.
"You are powerless." It was barely a hiss.
"I have as much power as I need to have. But I do have power over you. YOU are nothing, and you no longer have any more of me. I've reclaimed my life."
No sooner did Usagi speak the words. No, no sooner did Usagi FEEL and MEAN the words, did Demando lay prone, and finally disappeared entirely to the nothingness from which he came.
A new feeling washed over her then, well, more like another old feeling returned. But what was it?
*FLASH*
*Her eyes were a soft green and her skin the color of porcelain, tinted lightly red with embarrassment. But there was something about this girl, she seemed through it all... Usagi tried, but couldn't put her finger exactly what it was this girl seemed to exude.*
*FLASH*
*She LOOKED happy, and they way she talked about it, so openly, as if she were telling her about a cold she'd just gotten over, or the time she fell off her bike when she was five. Could it be that there was hope for people like her?*
*FLASH*
* "I'm free."*
Freedom, she was free, just like that girl at school. She had won and the prize was her freedom. And pride. She couldn't forget that. Usagi felt as though she had conquered a country and that she could do it again to whomever else opposed her.
So Usagi turned away from Demando, into the laughing arms of Mamoru as he spun her and Keisuke around.
After about the third spin they stopped and she grinned up at him, reaching out for his hand. "Let's go home."
He raised an eyebrow at her after taking hold of her hand. "Home?"
She nodded. "Home."
Keisuke threw his arms up in the air and giggled. "Home!"
*~*~*
THE BEGINNING
*~*~*
There, two months to the day but it's there. You wanna see the clock? It's 5:39 AM and I've been up since 9:00 today. That's right, I chilled with my friends, came home, wrote, and have not slept a wink, so please excuse any typos I will correct them in the morning. Christ it's light outside now.
Make Morning = When I wake up tomorrow.
I love you all. Thank you for everything, all your support your drawings, letters of encouragement, everything. DON'T WORRY. They'll be a long epilogue to clear up any last questions plus an author's letter. ^_^
Like it? Hate it?
Adieu, REVIEW!
Claidi Winter