I'm back! And LOOK! You guys were SO good, I'm giving you a whole extra
chapter AND there is yet an epilogue to come! Aren't I awesome?!?!
*runs away while her impatient audience is distracted by the shiny new chapter...*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Love, Labors, Lost...
Chapter 11: Life
Rated: PG-13
*~*~*~*~*~*
Her eyelids came undone. First one, then the other slowly opened to the sight of a blonde head resting beside her. Shooting up in her bed, Usagi pulled a hand to her mouth to stifle her gasp.
"Keisuke..." She uttered softly, her shock replaced by an overwhelming need to hold him, or even just *touch* him. Removing the hand from her mouth to stroke his curls, tears welded up in her eyes. His hair... It was... It was blonde; she saw it now truly as the sunlight glittered down onto it. Not white, not eerie translucent shades, but blonde, like hers.
She raised her eyes abruptly as the distant sound of a male voice made its way to her hears, distracting her from her discovery. Her breath caught once again as the identity of the speaker and memories from the night before hit her. Of course, she must have passed out after they came back through the portal!
The portal...
Demando! She looked around her, fear's ugly hand crawling up her heart, threatening to grab on tight when...
He was no where to be found. She listened, and failed to hear him. She looked, and failed to see him, she felt... He was gone. It hadn't just been a desperate dream, he was really *truly*, gone.
The voice downstairs died, and her attention was averted to its owner. Untangling her dormant son from her arms, she crawled out of bed, and crept out the door. As she walked the halls she prayed with all her might, hoping against everything that she was right in identifying him, that when she finally did reach the bottom it wouldn't be Max making his morning coffee, it would be him, and she would be safe, she would know that she was free...
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mamoru looked up at four very unhappy girls through bleary eyes. Sighing, he placed his hot coco down regretfully, and rubbed his face with his hands. He knew how frustrated they must be, but who was he to tell them what he knew would ease their minds?
Slapping his dress pants to rid his palms of the sweat, he stood tentatively, speaking in his commanding and sure tone, well... He told himself it would be commanding and sure. "Look." His voice cracked. So much for that. He took a deep breath and continued. "I know how all of you must feel, but I- I'm at a loss as to what to do. What you all want to know- it's not something that can... I'm not very clear on it myself. It's just want-" he faltered, looking around the room at the anxious girls, sighing hopelessly. "I really don't know what to do."
Ami placed a hand on Mamoru's shoulder urging him to sit down. "It's all right Mamoru-san, don't stress yourself too much, coming out of that portal drained enough energy to wipe the three of you unconscious, it's best if you rest." He opened his mouth to protest, but Ami shook her head knowingly and silenced him. "Sit. Usagi-chan will talk to us when she's ready, right?"
Mamoru nodded and sat. "Usako wants to make things right with all of you, I could feel it. But it might take a while before she's ready."
"Or just a few minutes."
"Usagi-chan!" Minako exclaimed breathlessly, jumping from her chair to reach for her friend, only to pull back with hesitancy. The rest shifted uneasily, all eyes latched onto the blonde's form.
Usagi gave a tearful smile to all of them, and fully descended the stairs. "Minna, it was you who let Mamo-chan in to rescue me, arigatou. I- I'm so sorry--" Her voice cracked, and she buried her face in her hands as tears wracked her.
"Usako," Mamoru reached out to lay a comforting hand on her, but she raised her own hand, stopping him. She sniffled and dried her eyes with her sleeves, tearing her trembling blue orbs back to her old comrades. "I don't want to cry any more. Not now. It's not fair to all of you. I didn't just learn that not everything is my fault; I also learned that some things are. Leaving all of you, that was a mistake I made all on my own. I understand fully if you don't want to hear any excuses for it."
Moments passed, but they seemed like hours as the group gazed at their leader, who, until a few short hours ago, they believed they would never see again. Rei was the first to speak.
"Baka." She hissed, her own eyes brimming with tears as she turned them towards Usagi. "Who do you think we've been waiting down here all this time for?! Mo-chan?! Chris no!" She yelled, and ran at Usagi, enveloping her in an unyielding bear hug.
Usagi blinked in shock, before mirroring her best friend's actions and throwing her arms around her in return. "Rei-chan..." She whispered happily.
Rei pulled away finally, but kept Usagi at arms length. "So are you going to make this up to us or not?"
Usagi nodded violently and Rei swung her arm around her shoulders, leading her to a seat. The rest of the group had to hold back their tears as they each threw their arms around her in turn. Finally after the commotion settled, an idea crept into Usagi's head. She was moved beyond words at their display but, she need something more.
"Uh... Rei-chan?" Usagi bit her lip hesitantly.
Rei smiled and stroked her arm lovingly. "Don't worry Usagi; I would be offended if you DIDN'T call me that."
Usagi shook her head a bit and giggled. "Th-thank you, but I was going to say-It's "Chris*T*"... Not, not "Chris"."
Four intakes of breath were audible around them as the soldiers, and Mamoru waited in apprehension for what they all prayed would fallow.
Rei's smile fell, and yet they were not disappointed. The rest of the girls burst into a fit of laughter as the two lunged at each other. "Usrusai, Baka Usagi!" Rei yelled as she began to tickle her mercilessly.
Usagi only fought half heartedly to throw her off, overcome with relief that her bond with Rei was still in tact, unaware of how much this display meant to the others. None of them had changed when it came to matters of friendship, deep down they all knew it, but this was the stamp.
At last after gaining his composure, all too thankful for the moment, Mamoru pulled Rei off of Usagi, only to have the rest of the girls tackle her with hugs and kisses and tickles yet again.
*~*~*~*~*~*
An hour later, the mood was all but cheerful. Makoto was clenching her fist so hard her knuckles were turning white, Ami's mouth hung open, and Rei sat motionless, the anger seething from her blatantly obvious.
Usagi stared at her feet. She had told them, told them everything. She dug a bare toe into the ground hating the silence, huddling under the console of Mamoru's arm. Why did they think? About her, and Keisuke, would they accept them now? Her heart twisted at the thought and she gathered her own arms tightly around her body, shielding herself from what she feared would come.
Minako watched her soldiers with worry, especially her fellow blonde, clenching her own fist when Usagi visibly shuddered. The silence had become deafening, and unable to stand it a minute longer, she jumped up and whirled around to face all of them accusingly. "Come on you guys! Don't you have anything to say? All of that and you don't have one word for Usagi? Well, TSUKINO-san, *I* have quite a few. My FIRST one being, WHEN do we get to see him?!"
Usagi blinked and raised quivering brows at Minako. "Se- see who?"
Minako's frown turned into a blinding grin in one second. "KEISUKE!" At Usagi's dumbfound look, she bubbled on, listing off her questions on her fingers. "I wanna know what he's like! His favorite color, his friends..."
Usagi stood and gave a grateful smile to the blonde. "Minako-chan..." She reached out for her but jumped in alarm when Makoto leapt up behind her.
"Yeah!" The brunet cried, slapping a hand on Usagi's shoulder. "What's his favorite food?"
Mamoru chuckled and stood as well, looking mirthfully into Usagi's eyes as they said in unquestioned agreement, "Pizza."
"What is his favorite subject? You said he excelled in math in science, but never said if he enjoys school!" Usagi laughed when she turned and saw Ami's hopeful expression.
"You'd be so pleased Ami-chan, he LOVES math and science, and school, for the most part."
"Is he interested in business?" Rei piped up.
"Does he play any sports?" Mina added.
"From what I saw, he sort of looks like a younger version of my old boyfriend!"
"Maybe I could teach him to read the fire, if you don't have him too mixed up with that CHRIS guy." Rei joked, motioning to a crucifix on the wall.
"Rei-chan..." Usagi warned feebly, but she was so overcome with love and joy, it was not in her to put up an argument.
Their questions mingled together as they finally yelled out in unison, "WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET HIM?!"
"Oh Minna-chan!" Usagi cried, throwing her arms around Minako, the closest body to her. "Aishiteru, arigatou."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The girls had been up for the better part of twenty four hours over the course of the ordeal, and after some more story telling, and being informed that Keisuke probably still had quite a few more hours of sleep in him, they opted to rest themselves.
Usagi and Mamoru stayed in the living room, as they girls occupied the master bedroom and guestroom, sitting in the warmth of each others arms before Usagi insisted they call the hospital to check up on Max, despite Mamoru's report to her at the hospital the night before.
Mamoru put down the phone and gave her a reassuring smile. "He woke up." At her still persistent look he added, "And he's going to be fine. He lost a lot of blood, but he's going to be just fine."
Usagi dropped her head and let out a sigh of relief, sliding down the wall to crouch on the ground. "Max is one hell of a fighter. To last that long against Demando... I knew he'd make it."
"Usako, it wasn't your f--"
"I know." She cut him off, finding the blank TV suddenly interesting.
In two strides he was there with her, running his hand up and down her arm to finally intertwine with her hand.
She looked up at him, but quickly looked away, a small smile creeping up her lips momentarily at his gesture of affection. Shaking her head to rid her fluttering stomach of its butterflies she forced her eyes to meet his once more.
"What's wrong? Still thinking about De- about *him*?"
Usagi shook her head. "He's gone. I can feel it." She took her free hand and beat it lightly to her chest. "It's only me in here now, and I can't hear him here either." She added, motioning to her head. "I don't think I thanked you for that."
He shook his head. "It wasn't me, Usa. I didn't do anything." He affirmed.
She giggled lightly as he made little of his quite significant involvement, but turned back to her inner ponderings.
"Well... If that's not it, then..." He let the sentence trail, not wanting to put words into her mouth.
She sighed heavily, rubbing the back of her head in frustration. "Mamoru- Mamo-chan, I thought it would be easier than this. I thought-I thought that once he was gone everything would just fall back in place." She laughed a bit at her naive assumption. "I still had to face the girls. Don't get me wrong, it felt wonderful to make things right with them, but I didn't just "make things right" not that easily... Am I making any sense?"
Mamoru nodded sagely. "You're realizing that things can't be fixed with an 'I'm sorry' or a simple 'go away'. Time heals all wounds Usa, if they are cared for. You've put the dressing on it, but it'll take time before you truly trust one another again."
A thought struck her, and she suddenly felt sick as she gazed at their locked hands, and nervously back into his eyes. "Mamo-chan are we..."
He smiled and kissed the hand he was holding, ushering her thoughts away quickly. "We were always OK Usa. I- just can't not trust you, or even be mad at your for any significant amount of time. You and I... We have some things to work on, and I want to work on them, not dwell in the past. People make the mistake of thinking that recovery from these things is an overnight process. You just ended your road of fear; you've only begun on your road to recovery. I- I desperately wish I could take some of your burden from you, but I can't. What I can do, and will do though, I will be there for you Usako."
She gripped his shirt, unsurely. "But- but what if I can't do it Mamo- chan?"
He took her other hand in his, now completely facing her. "I promise you, if you are falling, I'll LITERALLY jump off that roof after you and make sure you don't hit ground."
She let out a small laugh and nodded. "I know you will Mamo-chan. You- you've never let me down. I also know I haven't returned that, *I* swear to *you* that I will. But... I'm so scared. What if- what if I can't do it for them? What if I can't make it up to the others?"
Mamoru shook his head. "You've already started. They wanted you back as much as I did Usa. They could never love you any less. You've also got to consider that you are all very different people then from when you were fourteen."
She let out a shrewd laugh this time. "I've know that one for a while." She shook her head. "But that's not who I meant. I meant..."
Mamoru's eyes widened, realization striking him, and his mouth formed a simple 'oh...' as he nodded slowly, understanding. She was referring to her family.
"Mamo-chan, I want to forget about it. I don't want to think about it anymore." She looked over at him, and he adorned an almost apologetic expression. She immediately understood, looking away and adding softly. "But I can't do that can I? You're right, wanting to forget, pushing it away, that's what caused all this."
Taking haggard breaths she stood turned her back to him. "But I want to feel better. I *do* feel better Mamo-chan." She whispered quietly, looking down as if in shame.
Mamoru stood as well and turned her to face him, distressed when he saw the look reflected in her eyes. "Oh, Usako. You don't need to be ashamed if you want to be happy. If you feel better you should embrace that! I thought you knew this? You deserve it!"
"But they didn't." Usagi sighed, falling into his arms. "Kate and Max didn't deserve what happened to them, neither did my mother and father. I've let both of my families get hurt, emotionally or physically. How can I let myself be happy when I've hurt so many people? I've been so ungrateful. My parents raised me, and Kate and Max, they rescued me. Took me in and they barely even knew me."
He gave her a puzzled glance, as she sighed decidedly, leading him to sit on the Anderson's couch.
"I came here to make a new life. I told myself it was for everyone's own good. Yours, my friends, and my family's too; I would bring nothing but shame to all of you, or so I thought at the time. I had made the baby, I would pay for it. I was just so scared, and I wasn't thinking at all, because if I were, I would have realized how much I was putting Keisuke's life in jeopardy." Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how she once fleetingly thought of killing the unborn child in her womb.
She squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to rid them of the tears. "I had a job set up in New York City. I found it, and a scuzzy apartment nearby online. I gathered my savings and used the Luna Pen to make a passport and papers for myself under the name of Serena Tsukino, before fleeing by two trains, a boat, and a bus.
"I knew my parents would put out 'missing' articles and photos of me, so I used the crystal to disguise myself, or rather, put up a mental block for those who knew me before I came to America. That's why when you first met me here as Serena, you could only get so far as to think I looked like Usagi, much less connect my last name with the one you knew. I blocked all that info as well.
"When I got to New York, I went to meet with my new boss right away. The job was a waitress at a run down restaurant in downtown Brooklyn, and I wanted to start as soon as possible. Had I put more thought into it I would have realized that, first of all, being pregnant and on my feet all day would not have been the most healthy thing in the world, and secondly, what was I supposed to once I had the baby? I couldn't bring him to work, and he would be far too young to leave with a babysitter. There's no way I would have been able to afford the time off. I was doomed from the start. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the boss required something I could- wouldn't give." Her face twisted into a look of disgust at the recollection of the greasy man and his horrible slurred way of talking.
Mamoru swallowed hard, his nostrils flaring in anger, as he knew instantly what the man had wanted from Usagi, at her expression. But he bit his tongue, literally, and let her continue.
"Of course, no job meant no house. Luckily for both of us, I found a shelter that took us in. We remained there until I gave birth to Keisuke, and for a few months afterwards, until I met Kate and Max.
"We took turns doing things at the shelter, and that week it was my turn to buy diapers and food supplements. I went into the nearest convince store I could find, as I didn't have a baby carrier, and I wouldn't leave him at the shelter. I can only guess at what they were doing in that part of town, but as I reached for the diapers there Max was, helping me get them down. I smiled a bit nervously and thanked him before turning away quickly. I hadn't had very good experiences with strange men in New York, or anywhere for that matter. But when I turned around Kate was there, holding the supplies I had dropped while reaching for the diapers.
""What a beautiful baby." Those were her first words before she added, "I can see where he gets his looks." I couldn't help but smile and Keisuke, who was crying up to then, stopped and smiled at her too. Since then, I've always trusted the people Keisuke trusts. He's an amazingly good judge of character, even at just a few months old.
"Anyway, they got a cart and put my things in it, Kate pushing it for me and Max got the things I needed as we walked through the aisles. We chatted and they told me they were there on a tour of New York, visiting from Virginia. I perked up instantly, it being the only other place in America I had been to. We talked about Richmond for a while, until Max finally asked what I was dreading they would. He said, "I don't mean to offend you, but you look awfully young to have a child." Kate reprimanded him for being rude I guess, but I waved it away, not wanting them to fight. After I had paid for the items, I had come up short a couple dollars but they eagerly helped me pay, after we had done that, Kate offered to escort me home." Usagi clutched at her skirt tentatively, the guilt for their hospitalization starting to take effect again.
"You should have seen the look on her face when she saw where I lived. It was like someone had told her this was where her own daughter lived. After distributing the items we had bought, they left with a couple of hugs and 'thanks you''s, and I thought I would never see them again. Until one morning, a week later, before dawn the woman who ran the shelter shook me to wake me up and told me to pack my things. Some couple by the name of Anderson was going to foster me. When I asked her what she meant, she only scolded me for not telling her I was a minor, and that I was lucky they had come along when they did. They brought us here to live with them. They didn't ask me where I was from, or the details of Keisuke's conception, until a couple weeks ago, they knew nothing about my past."
Mamoru nodded, mentally resolving to express to them his newfound gratefulness. He had known that they had taken her in, but he could never have guessed the circumstances. "Kate doesn't blame you for her state, Usako. That's for certain. She was just relieved to hear you were all right."
Usagi bit her lip, glancing up at him. "Yeah?"
He nodded, "They took you in on their own free will. By not asking you what your past was, they were willing to accept whatever baggage you carried. They probably didn't know how much power your foes held, but they never thought twice about harboring you."
Usagi smiled as she remembered Kate's reaction when she told them for the first time what had happened to her. She had cried and held her tightly. Again, her pain had been Kate's pain, and Max... Max looked as though he wanted to kill. She could still see it flash in his eyes when he thought she was not looking. Maybe, just maybe, fighting Demando gave him a chance to feel like he did some real damage. They really did love her, no matter what points the devil's advocate inside of her brought up, they loved her.
Mamoru frowned suddenly as the last words of Usagi's story produced yet another question. "Usa, what made you finally tell them after all those years?"
Usagi looked away as she let her head fall back against the seat of the couch. Turning back to him she bit her lip hesitantly.
Mamoru swung his arm around her and gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "It's OK Usa, I asked because I want to know. That is, unless you don't want to say. I can wait." She stayed silent, contemplating, and so he spoke once more. "Earlier you said that pushing this away, that's what caused all this... Is that..."
She smiled matter-of-factly as he trailed off and she began to speak. "Why do you think I was able to defeat Demando the way I did?"
Mamoru shook his head, he had not a clue.
"When I came home with the Andersons it was December, a year after he- after he raped me." She swallowed, but the words brought comfort. He raped. He was the active party, not her. "It hurt too much to think about him, and about all of you. So I resolved that I wouldn't. Even the picture I kept of you and me next to my bed became two nameless faces after a while. This worked, more or less, for four years, until one day I sat down and I began to write. I had tried this before over the course of the years, but each time I had started out writing about him. This time, I wrote, I started out writing about... you. I wrote about the day we got back together, and this lead to writing about the first time I saw Demando." She sighed.
"After that it was as if I snapped, all in one night. I guess I had just repressed those memories for so long, when they came back..." Usagi reached into her pocket, producing a small round locket.
"I had the crystal on me the whole time to keep up the disguise, and in case of emergency. It was just responding to my emotions."
Mamoru laughed incredulously, a nervous shake in his voice. "Usako, you don't really believe you brought him back do you?"
Usagi shook her head. "No, I know I did. I blocked him out for so long, that when I finally faced my past through my writing, all the anger, all the fear, it came out all at once, almost five years worth of it. I let him rule my life, Mamo-chan and so he did. Every time I got scared or started to doubt myself, he materialized a little more, and pretty soon, I couldn't control him at all. When you told me you knew who I really was, was that just last night? It seems like ages ago." She shook her head again, knowing she had digressed. "But when you told me, I lost it. I had nothing to hide behind any longer, and I couldn't face you. All my fears came back stronger than ever, my worst one being--"
"That he would take Keisuke..." Mamoru finished for her, not believing what he was hearing.
"Exactly." Usagi affirmed.
"Of course..." Mamoru stated, shifting in his seat. "What Ami said makes sense now. That dimension, it was, Demando held the power in your head, and that's where the dimension was set."
Usagi nodded. Somehow she had known that, thought she had not realized it was she who had inadvertently created it, until now. Somehow she knew that whatever her will was there, it would be carried out. "Thus when I wanted Demando to go away, he did."
"But only once you conquered your fear of him." Mamoru reinstated. "When we couldn't reach you, that was your fear ruling."
"Sort of." Usagi bit her lip. "Consequently, a part of me didn't want you to reach me. I- I guess I was punishing myself." She glanced over at him just as he was about to open his mouth and laughed, silencing him. "Yes I know, Mamo-chan; I can't make other people's decisions for them, right?"
He laughed at her insight and kissed her forehead. "Damn straight."
"Mamo-chan, you know I would never have willingly made all of this happen right? I mean, yes. It happened because of some poor choices I made but--"
"You couldn't have possibly foreseen what bottling it up would do. You were scared, and wanted to protect yourself. You know what that makes you?"
She shook her head warily.
He smiled a little and whispered in her ear, "Human." He laughed at her sigh of relief.
But Usagi frowned. "It still doesn't excuse my actions towards my parents. Mamo-chan, how can I face them again?"
He paused before replying. "Do you want to?"
"Well, yeah!" She countered. "But what about, what about them?"
"Usako, say Keisuke left you without notice and without warning, and was gone for the better part of half a decade. Now, say you learn, all those years later, that he was indeed alive and wanting to see you, would you want to see him too?"
"Mamo-chan, how can you even ask that?"
"Well, would you?" He asked again.
Usagi sighed. "Yes. Without question. If I had to, I would travel half way around the world to see him again."
Mamoru smiled softly. "So would they."
Recognition flowed into Usagi's eyes, and she closed them, sighing. "What do I do? Call them? "Hey mom, it's me! I'm alive! Oh, you have a grandchild too! Aren't you glad to hear from me?""
"No..." Mamoru drawled. "You- your mother thinks..."
Usagi cocked her head to the side. "My mother thinks what?"
Mamoru shook his head. It was not as if Mrs. Tsukino was really crazy. He alone knew that she only acted as if she believed her daughter was right beside her. She had confided in him, saying it was just so much easier than having to deal with all the "I'm so sorry's," and the fact that her little girl really was gone. But that was not what Usagi needed to hear. At the moment she had enough to deal with. Things would sort themselves out with time.
"Your mother thinks nothing less of you. You have time to make it up to your parents. Right now you have a son who really needs to know his mother is OK, and a life of your own to sort out."
She let out another predominantly long sigh, and stood, him rising with her. "You're right. I do need to get my ducks in a row."
Mamoru laughed. "Your WHAT?"
Usagi shook her head gaily. "Never mind. It's an American saying."
Mamoru's face formed a quizzical look then. "I was wondering, how did you learn English so fast? Sorry to be blunt, but it was your WORST subject back in Japan."
Usagi laughed and walked ahead of him towards the kitchen. "I had my ways. Some English tapes, a little help from the crystal... I found I could use the crystal for menial tasks without being drained. Learning English and disguising yourself aren't nearly as hard as vaporizing a yoma. But yeah, there was no way on Earth I could have learned something so fast without the crystal's help, I've got be dumber than aAHH!" She yelped suddenly as he took her by the waist, turning her with one swift movement and claiming her lips for his own.
She swallowed hard when they finally broke away, taking a moment before saying anything to let the haze clear. "Wha- what was that for?"
He chuckled lightly. "I had to shut you up someway."
At her questioning look he sighed and rested his head to hers. "Usako, you need to stop putting your self down. Do you use the crystal for work and school?"
She shook her head and looked down, fingering the lining of his shirt.
"Exactly. Above anyone else, Usa, YOU need to like YOU. If not, you're only setting yourself up to fail. Who would actually help someone she hates? I love you. I want you to succeed, but you've got to want yourself to succeed as well."
She smiled softly, raising her hands from his shirt to wrap her arms around his neck. "I love you too Mamo-chan. I trust you. So if you love me, then I guess I can't be all that bad." She scrunched up her face. It was a humorous expression but Mamoru could see that tears hid behind it. "In fact, I'm not bad at all."
He chuckled endearingly, giving her waist a squeeze. "No. Not at all." He replied seriously. "You fought SO hard. Not me, not the girls, not even Sailor Moon. YOU destroyed him, by will alone. Few victims are able to do what you did, and their attackers don't materialize! It takes a strong heart to do that, and a strong heart you've got."
Usagi nodded, and gave him a grateful smile. She leaned up to kiss him when the squeak of a door was heard and Usagi smiled when a voice soon followed it. "Mama?"
Mamoru grinned resolving to kiss her forehead before releasing her towards her son, who was slowly descending stairs, one step at a time.
At the sight of his mother Keisuke jumped the last three steps down the stairs, making her wince and ran into her open arms.
"Hey, Baby," she cooed, scooping him up and holding him tight.
Hey pulled away and let his chubby hands frame her face. "Are you OK now, Mama? Is the bad man gone?"
Usagi let out a start of a laugh, hugging him tightly again. "Yeah, I got rid of him, Baby. He's not going to bother us any more."
At her affirmation, Keisuke wiggled out of her arms and to her surprise, slid down her body, heading straight for Mamoru.
Mamoru squat down to his level, smiling widely. "Hey there kido."
Keisuke failed to respond, but leaned in as to not be heard by his mother. "Are you really Tuxedo Mask?" His eyes twinkling in delight at the prospect that his favorite teacher could be his favorite hero in his mother's bed time stories.
Mamoru raised surprised eyebrows at him, but recalled the night before. Keisuke had known his transformed identity then too, but he had failed to take note, in view of the circumstances. "Yes, I really am, Casey, but how do you know who Tuxedo Ka- Mask is?" He asked suspiciously, catching himself from using the Japanese name.
"Mama told me all about him-, you." He said, still whispering. "In her stories you always saved Sailor Moon whenever she was in trouble, and they were in love and-"
Mamoru chuckled, merrily. "It's OK Casey, you don't have to whisper. Your mama knows who I am."
Keisuke's eyes grew wide as he turned to look incredulously at his mother, who frowned in confusion as he swung back around to Mamoru, refusing to retire his whisper. "But you love MAMA, right?"
Mamoru nodded sagely. "Yes Casey. I do."
Keisuke's eyes grew even wider, if possible. "Then does that mean that---" He turned around once more to fully face his mother, his change to a louder tone of voice startling her. "Are you Sailor Moon, Mama?"
"Looks like you have some explaining to do, Odango Atama." Mamoru chuckled, shaking his head as he stood.
Usagi rolled her eyes heavenward and sighed. "Don't I know it."
Mamoru smiled at her positively as she scooped up her son, once again, and brought him over to the couch for another for what was going to be another long talk.
"You see, Honey, it all started one thousand years ago..." And so Usagi began, for the first time, to tell her son of not only her own heritage, but his own as well.
*~*~*~Eight Months Later*~*~*~*
Usagi chewed at her thumb nervously as she looked over the garment placed before her. She glanced up at her companion, finally shaking her head slowly. "I can't."
Her cohort chuckled lightly. "Of course you can. You have to. You've only got five minutes!"
"What if I trip?"
Kate smiled endearingly. "Serena," she started, still preferring to call her by her English name. "In four years I have yet to see you trip."
Usagi shook her head again. "I *used* to trip all the time. It COULD happen again."
"Just walk with care. You won't trip."
"What if I do something wrong?"
"Serena, there's nothing to get wrong. You just walk up there smile brilliantly, turn to face the man, smile graciously to everyone again, and stay there."
"But-!"
Kate sighed in mock exasperation. Reaching over she picked up and shoved the items into Usagi's arms. "Listen USAGI, they're tuning the organ! GO GET DRESSED!" She pointed dutifully to the women's restroom.
Usagi let out a small squeak as she was shoved the clothes. "All right! All right! I'll go."
Kate gave a start herself and jumped a little when she turned and was face to face with Mamoru, her husband close behind. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" She exclaimed breathlessly.
Max grinned, kissing her lips lightly. "Nope. Just the two of us here, Mamoru and me."
"You think you are so funny Maxwell William Anderson."
"Now, now, let's not quarrel here on such an important day."
"No, lets not." She cooed patronizingly.
Mamoru cleared his throat politely as Kate and Max deviated a little too far into their own world.
Max pulled away from Kate, apologizing before slapping Mamoru on the back. "So, are ya nervous, about tonight I mean?" He asked, winking.
Mamoru blushed slightly and shoved his hands deep into his dress pants. "Uh, yeah, a little actually."
Kate creased her brows. "Nervous, 'bout what?"
Max rolled his eyes playfully. "You sure you're not blonde honey?" After a good whack on the arm with her purse he laughed and backed away. "What's he nervous about, he's gonna do it, Kate!"
Kate's eyes lit up with recognition and she smacked her forehead. "Oh! Of course!" She laughed, rubbing the spot on Max's arm where she had hit. "Maybe I am going blonde! Tonight's the big night! Not to mention that *they're* coming."
"Who's coming?" Usagi asked, emerging from the bathroom, finally dressed.
Kate whirled around, and tears formed in her eyes as she took in the sight of Usagi. "You look so beautiful..." She stated, wrapping her arms around her.
Usagi frowned. "I look androgynous."
"Smile!" Max called from behind his camera and Usagi rolled her eyes.
"Max!" She whined.
"Now, now Usako, this is a big day! You should by proud!" Mamoru reprimanded playfully at her behavior.
Usagi turned her head and grinned when she caught sight of him. "Mamo- chan!" She moved to hug him but stopped and frowned. "I thought you were going to watch Keisuke before the ceremony?"
"Don't worry, he's with Molly." He dismissed it, closing the gap she had left and hugging her. "Besides I have to tell you something. Your--" He began to whisper but she pulled away as a familiar tune filtered through the halls to their ears.
"Crap!" She laughed. Pulling away from him and kissing each of their cheeks. "I gotta go! I love you guys!" She called before running towards the music.
"Wait! Usako!" Mamoru desperately tried to call after her.
"Tell me afterwards! DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH if I trip!" And with that she was gone.
Mamoru sighed and let his raised arm fall to wipe his neck as Max shook his head. "I certainly wasn't this nervous before *my* graduation ceremony."
Kate smiled wisely and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You weren't almost twenty either."
"Very true." he admitted, picking up her hand and kissing it. But Max creased his brows when he looked over and saw Mamoru in a somewhat agitated state. "What's wrong, son? It's still early! You have plenty of time to be nervous later!"
Mamoru ran a hand through his hair and placed a hand on Max's shoulder. "Well, uh... I didn't exactly have a change to tell Usa that they were coming..."
Kate's eyes grew wide as she leaned forward, placing a hand on Mamoru's arm. "You mean she doesn't know? Well, Darlin' I have a feeling she might not be too happy about that."
Mamoru nodded and opened his mouth to voice his remorse about not telling her, when he was beat to the punch by a feminine voice behind them, familiar to his ears only.
"Mamoru-san?"
He sighed and strode up to her, taking both her arms in his, greeting her with a warm smile. She smiled, not insincerely but meekly, in return, taking his arms as well.
"Tsukino-san. Welcome. I hope you had a nice trip." He greeted her in Japanese.
Ikuko laughed nervously. "As nice as possible, I suppose."
Mamoru nodded and closed his eyes in acknowledgement before opening them and looking around. "Where are Shingo-kun and your husband?"
Ikuko closed her eyes this time and breathed in heavily before stating in shaky words, "I didn't tell them about the letter you sent, Mamoru-san. Not its true contents. I told them I was going to visit my sister in Washington DC." She raised teary eyes up to meet his. "I'm so sorry; I'll tell them as soon as I get back. I am such a selfish person Mamoru-san. I just wanted her to myself first. I wanted-."
"Shh, shh, Ikuko-san. Daijoubu." He comforted her, embracing her softly. "You don't need to apologize or explain to me. I understand." He explained, pulling away. "If anything I should apologize to you. I, I failed to tell Usa you were coming."
Ikuko looked up at him with desperation, suddenly clutching him at her daughter's name. "Where is she Mamoru-san? When can I see her?"
Mamoru smiled and offered her his arm, which she hesitantly took and walked towards the near forgotten Anderson couple. "After the ceremony, which is going to start in just a couple minutes, but first I think you should meet two very amazing people."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Usagi felt the adrenaline pumping in her veins as she mounted the stage to receive her diploma. She took very deliberate steps, hiking up her gown a little as she ascended the mini staircase, the words "don't trip" running over and over in her mind, but only on the surface. She knew they were really there as a distraction from what was really going through her head. Here she was, a mother, graduating high school. However the negative thoughts that would normally came after she looked at it that way, failed to this time. Instead, a feeling of pride had replaced that. Here she was, a mother, and she had managed to graduate with all honors classes, and was even a part of the national honors society! But far surpassing all of that was that she had been accepted to the top three schools on her list, UVA, Virginia Tech, and... Azabu Institute, in Japan. She frowned slightly, still unsure about what she was going to do with that acceptance letter. Was moving back to Japan really an option?
However her thoughts were discontinued as she heard the booming sound of, "Usagi Serenity Tsukino!", called out over the microphone. The adrenaline was back, stronger than ever, but she grinned famously at her principal as he shook her hand and the woman next to him handed her diploma.
She reached up to pull her tassel over her cap when some distinct voices made their way over the noise of the Center and graduation march.
"Usagi-chan!"
"Go, Usagi-chan!"
"Congrats Sere!"
"Ometeto, Usagi-chan!"
"Aishiteru, Usako!"
"Usagi Baka, ometeto!"
"Yay, Mama!"
Usagi smiled tearfully at them, waving her diploma enthusiastically in their direction after moving her tassel fully over her cap. She sat in her designated seat and after turning her class ring so that she could no longer read the name, in following with post-graduation tradition; she glanced back up to where they were seated and smiled as she saw everyone there. Mamoru, Molly, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Keisuke, Kate, Max, and... She squinted as she failed to make out the form of the woman sitting next to Mamoru. Light blue hair, dressed in older clothing, she almost resembled- -
Impossible!
But was it? How would she be...? Mamoru. He must have invited her. 'You're over reacting.' Her mind told her, but her heart said something different.
The rest of the ceremony was a blur. Empty speeches, random songs, finally everyone was tossing their hats in the air, but Usagi could think of nothing but one thing. She rushed through the crowd, searching for the familiar mix of hair colors, her desperation growing by the minute.
Finally she made it outside, searching frantically left and right. Where they hiding? They were right THERE the entire ceremony! She made to run for the refreshment hall when someone took a firm hold of her arm. She was whirled around but she let out a mighty sigh when she found she was face to face with Mamoru.
He sighed himself and loosening his grip he took her other arm in his other hand. "Usako, I'm so sorry. I tried to tell you before the ceremony but-- I should have told you before I even sent the letter. I could see how much you missed them though. Each day it became so much more evident than it had been the last... and she deserved to know Usa. They deserved to know... that you were alive if nothing more."
Usagi nodded, her breathing still ragged. "Ok Mamo-chan, I'll deal with you later, but right now," she bit her lip and looked straight into his eyes. "Right now I just want to see my Mama. Where is she?"
Mamoru bit his own lip. "So you're not mad at me?"
"No. A little annoyed, but it's not like you ran off without a note and I won't see you for five years." She jested sarcastically.
He was about to contradict her when she shook him. "But I will be mad if you bring here all the way here and don't let me see her!" Her eyes softened with her grip. "Please, Mamo-chan."
"Usagi-chan?"
Usagi whirled out of Mamoru arms, and her world slowly stopped as she took in the sight of the woman standing before her. Her mother.
Her diploma dropped to the ground, but it meant nothing, high school, motherhood, all those years fell away and Usagi was five years old again, and could think of nothing but of her mommy holding her, welcoming her home from summer camp.
All her doubts, all her words flew out the door as she heedlessly ran into her mother's arms. Her cap and gown were now overalls and odangos, her dropped diploma - a lunch pale. The only thing that mattered was reaching the sanctuary of those arms.
"Mama!" She cried, literally, as her mother welcomed the forced with which she hit, catching her and staying upright, a miracle all mothers somehow managed no matter how big their child had grown.
Usagi threw her arms around her and sobbed as Ikuko whispered sweet nothings of comfort, rubbing her back with her experienced caring hands. "I'm so sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry I left you and Papa and even Shingo. I didn't want to, I swear I didn't. I was just so scared, Mama. I was so scared. I didn't know it wasn't my fault, I thought you would hate me and I would bring us shame, and I'm so sorry, Mama, I'm so sorry!" She wept her apologies without restraint; even though she knew the moment her mother's arms had encircled her that excuses were beyond unnecessary, she still needed that confirmation every child needs, whether what they have done was wrong or right, they still needed to hear--
"I love you, Usagi. I love you so much! I could never, EVER hate you. Not now, not then, not EVER! Not ever, my Usa, not ever." She repeated as they had both sank to the ground, and she rocked her child, her only daughter, her first born, her baby girl in her arms again after far too long. After the betrayal, after the lies, after the confusion, she was holding her again, and none of that mattered anymore.
"So," Ikuko said finally, breaking their embrace, but only enough that she would be able look at her daughter. "When do I get to meet this grandson of mine?"
Usagi sniffled and laughed a little. "Didn't you all sit together?"
Ikuko blushed a little. "I didn't dare talk to him. I don't think he saw me."
Usagi rose, bringing Ikuko up with her. "Well we'll just have to change that, won't we?" She laughed, walking forward to catch up with Mamoru who had moved to give them privacy, gaily showing her mother the way.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Mamo-chan, where are we going?" Usagi half laughed, half whined as he led her through the restaurant and out the backdoor. After her graduation they had all gone out to eat at a fancy steak house by the name of "Ruth's Chris", a treat co-paid by Max and Mamoru. Her mother had been immediately welcomed by Max and Kate, but most importantly, adored by Keisuke. Usagi smiled genuinely when she recalled how Keisuke's features lit up when he was told the identity of the woman walking arm and arm with his mother.
After dinner, during which Keisuke had insisted on sitting next to *his* grandmother, Max and Kate excused themselves mysteriously taking Keisuke with them. If that was not strange enough, the girls followed in suit, saying their 'flight' from Japan had been long and they were tired. And then at that, her mother adamantly agreed that she too was tired, and promised to make plans for the next day. That left her with, oh wait, Mamoru.
"Gee." She had stated in a dead pan. "I wonder what THAT was all about. It could not have possibly been devised so that we would be alone, could it?"
He had laughed outright and standing from his chair, he pulled her up from her own and replied, with all seriousness, "Never." Before his face burst into a huge grin and he grabbed her hand, leading her down seemingly endless twists and turns they were taking now.
"Mamo-chan! Come ON! Do I have to close my eyes? Tell me where we're going!"
Mamoru only laughed and shook his head. "Want some cheese with that whine?"
Usagi snorted. "I better be getting some cheese with it! You know I'm really not liking this not- telling-me-what-you're-doing-before-you-do-it stuff! Where did you learn that phrase anyway?"
Mamoru snorted this time. "You underestimate me, I've only been living here, what, almost a year now? I couldn't possible pick up that many American sayings."
Usagi smiled wryly. "Well you've certainly picked up American sarcasm."
"Ok." Mamoru breathed, stopping finally. "We're here."
"Can I open my eyes now?"
'Hmm hmm." His deep tenor rumbled out, sending shivers down her spine as she opened her eyes, and gasped.
"Oh Mamo-chan..." She breathed, unable to move.
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "You like it?"
Usagi shook her head, reaching behind her to touch his arm gently with her fingertips. "I love it." She turned around in his embrace and reached up to lightly brush his lips with her own. "Thank you."
He smiled hazily, intoxicated by her caresses. God she was amazing, but he would linger on such lazy thoughts later, as for now, he had an agenda.
Regretfully, he pulled away from her, and a reached over to pull out a wicker chair, bowing slightly, "My lady."
Usagi giggled lightly, curtsying to him in return and sat. She giggled again when she felt him push in her chair, recalling that wonderful and horrible night at the Jefferson Hotel so long ago. She shook her head and looked around at her current surroundings once more. They were on a threshold of a small but beautiful garden behind the restaurant. Surrounding them was some sort of white wicker structure, consisting of a canopy, and four elegant polls supporting it. Intertwined with the wicker were twinkle lights mingled with ivy to give off a glittering forest effect.
If all that was not enough, next to their small table for two was the best thing of all: All the chef's desert specials for the night. She raised an eyes brow at him as he sat down across from her. "Looks like someone knows me just a little too well."
He chuckled, placing his napkin in his lap. "You know me, it's not like I have a life or anything."
Usagi licked her lips and picked up the nearest desert after he motioned that it was OK. "Apparently not." She took a bite of the desert and almost moaned in ecstasy. "NOT that I am complaining mind you."
He laughed and picked up a slice of Death by Chocolate cake. "I'll take it it's good?"
Usagi nodded enthusiastically but blushed when she saw his humored expression. She put down her fork and folded her hands in her lap. "Really, Mamo-chan, what's this all about? I mean, it's absolutely amazing, but..." She looked down at her entangled fingers.
Mamoru placed his own fork down, sighing deeply. He hadn't planed for it to go this quickly! Oh, well, it was now or never.
"Usako, come back to Japan with me."
Usagi glanced up sharply. Was she hearing things? God how she- She stopped her thoughts and shook her head before looking back down again and swallowing. "What about Kate and Max?" She asked softly.
Her glance had told him nothing, and his heart was nearly in his throat he was so scared. But he fallowed her lead swallowed himself, steadying his tone. "You could always come back and visit, and with the internet, you could chat everyday! I- I'm not asking you to forget about them, I'm asking..." He trailed off. His palms were sweaty, why did he suddenly feel as though he were in high school again? And why wasn't she saying anything, damn it! "It's not to late to apply to--"
"I already did." She interrupted. "And I got in."
Mamoru swallowed, yet again, his throat if possible had gone even drier. "To Azabu?"
She nodded. "Mamo-chan?"
"Yes?"
"I..." She paused, but only for a moment before throwing her hands down on the table, her voice shaking. "I wanna go back. I miss it there so much. With everything that's happened with my mom... I need to go back. To be with her, with dad, and Shingo too. I want Keisuke to see where I grew up. I want him to settle in a school, make friends, and have a normal life! I can give him all that so much better where I know my surroundings... The only thing I can't give him..."
Mamoru licked his lips and raised his brows expectantly, reaching across the table to massage her hand in his. "Is what, Usa? What can't you give him?"
"I, I can't... I can't give him a real family." She whispered the words, almost too afraid to say them. Too afraid to hope...
They lingered there for a moment, suspended in time, the ping pong ball of their game resting mid-air, before dropping, and being hit with a bang.
"Says who?"
Quickly, before the ball was fully out of his court, he dug into his pocket and produced a small, black, velvet box; an object that never failed to take a woman's breath away and Usagi was no exception.
Usagi's breath stayed taken as he stood, and hastily rounded the table.
"Mamo-chan..." Was all she could croak out, her eyes brimming themselves with tears as he took his position on one knee in front of her.
"Tsukino Usagi, Serenity. I love you, and your son more than I have ever loved anyone or thing in my life. Before you came a long I was nothing, and when I lost you a second time, it hit harder than any separation through a past life could ever hit. I didn't fall in love with Serenity all over again; I fell in love with you, Usagi: The bouncy fourteen year-old who could give a better comeback than any of my friends. I fell in love with Usagi: the strong nineteen year-old mother of one amazing little boy, who persevered through so much and stood up to her worst fear with so little, to save that boy. I would be nothing again if I couldn't have you by my side for the rest of my days. Usako, will you marry me?"
The tears were flowing unabashedly down her cheeks now as he slid the beautiful solitaire diamond onto her left ring finger, looking up at her with earnest eyes. She couldn't hold it in any longer, she launched herself into his arms, sending them both flying backwards into the grass.
"Yes, Mamo-chan, YES! Of course I will marry you!" She cried it into the night, laughing as he rolled them over, pinning her underneath of him, and kissed her under the gentle glow of the moon after she cried out one last time, to the world, to him, to herself, and finally to Demando.
"YES!"
This time, truly, she was going home.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ug, finally! Tell me what ya'll think! There will be a short epilogue to follow. And I do mean short. Like, as short as my prologue, maybe not even... lol we'll see. But there will be one!
Adieu, review!
~Claidi
*runs away while her impatient audience is distracted by the shiny new chapter...*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Love, Labors, Lost...
Chapter 11: Life
Rated: PG-13
*~*~*~*~*~*
Her eyelids came undone. First one, then the other slowly opened to the sight of a blonde head resting beside her. Shooting up in her bed, Usagi pulled a hand to her mouth to stifle her gasp.
"Keisuke..." She uttered softly, her shock replaced by an overwhelming need to hold him, or even just *touch* him. Removing the hand from her mouth to stroke his curls, tears welded up in her eyes. His hair... It was... It was blonde; she saw it now truly as the sunlight glittered down onto it. Not white, not eerie translucent shades, but blonde, like hers.
She raised her eyes abruptly as the distant sound of a male voice made its way to her hears, distracting her from her discovery. Her breath caught once again as the identity of the speaker and memories from the night before hit her. Of course, she must have passed out after they came back through the portal!
The portal...
Demando! She looked around her, fear's ugly hand crawling up her heart, threatening to grab on tight when...
He was no where to be found. She listened, and failed to hear him. She looked, and failed to see him, she felt... He was gone. It hadn't just been a desperate dream, he was really *truly*, gone.
The voice downstairs died, and her attention was averted to its owner. Untangling her dormant son from her arms, she crawled out of bed, and crept out the door. As she walked the halls she prayed with all her might, hoping against everything that she was right in identifying him, that when she finally did reach the bottom it wouldn't be Max making his morning coffee, it would be him, and she would be safe, she would know that she was free...
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mamoru looked up at four very unhappy girls through bleary eyes. Sighing, he placed his hot coco down regretfully, and rubbed his face with his hands. He knew how frustrated they must be, but who was he to tell them what he knew would ease their minds?
Slapping his dress pants to rid his palms of the sweat, he stood tentatively, speaking in his commanding and sure tone, well... He told himself it would be commanding and sure. "Look." His voice cracked. So much for that. He took a deep breath and continued. "I know how all of you must feel, but I- I'm at a loss as to what to do. What you all want to know- it's not something that can... I'm not very clear on it myself. It's just want-" he faltered, looking around the room at the anxious girls, sighing hopelessly. "I really don't know what to do."
Ami placed a hand on Mamoru's shoulder urging him to sit down. "It's all right Mamoru-san, don't stress yourself too much, coming out of that portal drained enough energy to wipe the three of you unconscious, it's best if you rest." He opened his mouth to protest, but Ami shook her head knowingly and silenced him. "Sit. Usagi-chan will talk to us when she's ready, right?"
Mamoru nodded and sat. "Usako wants to make things right with all of you, I could feel it. But it might take a while before she's ready."
"Or just a few minutes."
"Usagi-chan!" Minako exclaimed breathlessly, jumping from her chair to reach for her friend, only to pull back with hesitancy. The rest shifted uneasily, all eyes latched onto the blonde's form.
Usagi gave a tearful smile to all of them, and fully descended the stairs. "Minna, it was you who let Mamo-chan in to rescue me, arigatou. I- I'm so sorry--" Her voice cracked, and she buried her face in her hands as tears wracked her.
"Usako," Mamoru reached out to lay a comforting hand on her, but she raised her own hand, stopping him. She sniffled and dried her eyes with her sleeves, tearing her trembling blue orbs back to her old comrades. "I don't want to cry any more. Not now. It's not fair to all of you. I didn't just learn that not everything is my fault; I also learned that some things are. Leaving all of you, that was a mistake I made all on my own. I understand fully if you don't want to hear any excuses for it."
Moments passed, but they seemed like hours as the group gazed at their leader, who, until a few short hours ago, they believed they would never see again. Rei was the first to speak.
"Baka." She hissed, her own eyes brimming with tears as she turned them towards Usagi. "Who do you think we've been waiting down here all this time for?! Mo-chan?! Chris no!" She yelled, and ran at Usagi, enveloping her in an unyielding bear hug.
Usagi blinked in shock, before mirroring her best friend's actions and throwing her arms around her in return. "Rei-chan..." She whispered happily.
Rei pulled away finally, but kept Usagi at arms length. "So are you going to make this up to us or not?"
Usagi nodded violently and Rei swung her arm around her shoulders, leading her to a seat. The rest of the group had to hold back their tears as they each threw their arms around her in turn. Finally after the commotion settled, an idea crept into Usagi's head. She was moved beyond words at their display but, she need something more.
"Uh... Rei-chan?" Usagi bit her lip hesitantly.
Rei smiled and stroked her arm lovingly. "Don't worry Usagi; I would be offended if you DIDN'T call me that."
Usagi shook her head a bit and giggled. "Th-thank you, but I was going to say-It's "Chris*T*"... Not, not "Chris"."
Four intakes of breath were audible around them as the soldiers, and Mamoru waited in apprehension for what they all prayed would fallow.
Rei's smile fell, and yet they were not disappointed. The rest of the girls burst into a fit of laughter as the two lunged at each other. "Usrusai, Baka Usagi!" Rei yelled as she began to tickle her mercilessly.
Usagi only fought half heartedly to throw her off, overcome with relief that her bond with Rei was still in tact, unaware of how much this display meant to the others. None of them had changed when it came to matters of friendship, deep down they all knew it, but this was the stamp.
At last after gaining his composure, all too thankful for the moment, Mamoru pulled Rei off of Usagi, only to have the rest of the girls tackle her with hugs and kisses and tickles yet again.
*~*~*~*~*~*
An hour later, the mood was all but cheerful. Makoto was clenching her fist so hard her knuckles were turning white, Ami's mouth hung open, and Rei sat motionless, the anger seething from her blatantly obvious.
Usagi stared at her feet. She had told them, told them everything. She dug a bare toe into the ground hating the silence, huddling under the console of Mamoru's arm. Why did they think? About her, and Keisuke, would they accept them now? Her heart twisted at the thought and she gathered her own arms tightly around her body, shielding herself from what she feared would come.
Minako watched her soldiers with worry, especially her fellow blonde, clenching her own fist when Usagi visibly shuddered. The silence had become deafening, and unable to stand it a minute longer, she jumped up and whirled around to face all of them accusingly. "Come on you guys! Don't you have anything to say? All of that and you don't have one word for Usagi? Well, TSUKINO-san, *I* have quite a few. My FIRST one being, WHEN do we get to see him?!"
Usagi blinked and raised quivering brows at Minako. "Se- see who?"
Minako's frown turned into a blinding grin in one second. "KEISUKE!" At Usagi's dumbfound look, she bubbled on, listing off her questions on her fingers. "I wanna know what he's like! His favorite color, his friends..."
Usagi stood and gave a grateful smile to the blonde. "Minako-chan..." She reached out for her but jumped in alarm when Makoto leapt up behind her.
"Yeah!" The brunet cried, slapping a hand on Usagi's shoulder. "What's his favorite food?"
Mamoru chuckled and stood as well, looking mirthfully into Usagi's eyes as they said in unquestioned agreement, "Pizza."
"What is his favorite subject? You said he excelled in math in science, but never said if he enjoys school!" Usagi laughed when she turned and saw Ami's hopeful expression.
"You'd be so pleased Ami-chan, he LOVES math and science, and school, for the most part."
"Is he interested in business?" Rei piped up.
"Does he play any sports?" Mina added.
"From what I saw, he sort of looks like a younger version of my old boyfriend!"
"Maybe I could teach him to read the fire, if you don't have him too mixed up with that CHRIS guy." Rei joked, motioning to a crucifix on the wall.
"Rei-chan..." Usagi warned feebly, but she was so overcome with love and joy, it was not in her to put up an argument.
Their questions mingled together as they finally yelled out in unison, "WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET HIM?!"
"Oh Minna-chan!" Usagi cried, throwing her arms around Minako, the closest body to her. "Aishiteru, arigatou."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The girls had been up for the better part of twenty four hours over the course of the ordeal, and after some more story telling, and being informed that Keisuke probably still had quite a few more hours of sleep in him, they opted to rest themselves.
Usagi and Mamoru stayed in the living room, as they girls occupied the master bedroom and guestroom, sitting in the warmth of each others arms before Usagi insisted they call the hospital to check up on Max, despite Mamoru's report to her at the hospital the night before.
Mamoru put down the phone and gave her a reassuring smile. "He woke up." At her still persistent look he added, "And he's going to be fine. He lost a lot of blood, but he's going to be just fine."
Usagi dropped her head and let out a sigh of relief, sliding down the wall to crouch on the ground. "Max is one hell of a fighter. To last that long against Demando... I knew he'd make it."
"Usako, it wasn't your f--"
"I know." She cut him off, finding the blank TV suddenly interesting.
In two strides he was there with her, running his hand up and down her arm to finally intertwine with her hand.
She looked up at him, but quickly looked away, a small smile creeping up her lips momentarily at his gesture of affection. Shaking her head to rid her fluttering stomach of its butterflies she forced her eyes to meet his once more.
"What's wrong? Still thinking about De- about *him*?"
Usagi shook her head. "He's gone. I can feel it." She took her free hand and beat it lightly to her chest. "It's only me in here now, and I can't hear him here either." She added, motioning to her head. "I don't think I thanked you for that."
He shook his head. "It wasn't me, Usa. I didn't do anything." He affirmed.
She giggled lightly as he made little of his quite significant involvement, but turned back to her inner ponderings.
"Well... If that's not it, then..." He let the sentence trail, not wanting to put words into her mouth.
She sighed heavily, rubbing the back of her head in frustration. "Mamoru- Mamo-chan, I thought it would be easier than this. I thought-I thought that once he was gone everything would just fall back in place." She laughed a bit at her naive assumption. "I still had to face the girls. Don't get me wrong, it felt wonderful to make things right with them, but I didn't just "make things right" not that easily... Am I making any sense?"
Mamoru nodded sagely. "You're realizing that things can't be fixed with an 'I'm sorry' or a simple 'go away'. Time heals all wounds Usa, if they are cared for. You've put the dressing on it, but it'll take time before you truly trust one another again."
A thought struck her, and she suddenly felt sick as she gazed at their locked hands, and nervously back into his eyes. "Mamo-chan are we..."
He smiled and kissed the hand he was holding, ushering her thoughts away quickly. "We were always OK Usa. I- just can't not trust you, or even be mad at your for any significant amount of time. You and I... We have some things to work on, and I want to work on them, not dwell in the past. People make the mistake of thinking that recovery from these things is an overnight process. You just ended your road of fear; you've only begun on your road to recovery. I- I desperately wish I could take some of your burden from you, but I can't. What I can do, and will do though, I will be there for you Usako."
She gripped his shirt, unsurely. "But- but what if I can't do it Mamo- chan?"
He took her other hand in his, now completely facing her. "I promise you, if you are falling, I'll LITERALLY jump off that roof after you and make sure you don't hit ground."
She let out a small laugh and nodded. "I know you will Mamo-chan. You- you've never let me down. I also know I haven't returned that, *I* swear to *you* that I will. But... I'm so scared. What if- what if I can't do it for them? What if I can't make it up to the others?"
Mamoru shook his head. "You've already started. They wanted you back as much as I did Usa. They could never love you any less. You've also got to consider that you are all very different people then from when you were fourteen."
She let out a shrewd laugh this time. "I've know that one for a while." She shook her head. "But that's not who I meant. I meant..."
Mamoru's eyes widened, realization striking him, and his mouth formed a simple 'oh...' as he nodded slowly, understanding. She was referring to her family.
"Mamo-chan, I want to forget about it. I don't want to think about it anymore." She looked over at him, and he adorned an almost apologetic expression. She immediately understood, looking away and adding softly. "But I can't do that can I? You're right, wanting to forget, pushing it away, that's what caused all this."
Taking haggard breaths she stood turned her back to him. "But I want to feel better. I *do* feel better Mamo-chan." She whispered quietly, looking down as if in shame.
Mamoru stood as well and turned her to face him, distressed when he saw the look reflected in her eyes. "Oh, Usako. You don't need to be ashamed if you want to be happy. If you feel better you should embrace that! I thought you knew this? You deserve it!"
"But they didn't." Usagi sighed, falling into his arms. "Kate and Max didn't deserve what happened to them, neither did my mother and father. I've let both of my families get hurt, emotionally or physically. How can I let myself be happy when I've hurt so many people? I've been so ungrateful. My parents raised me, and Kate and Max, they rescued me. Took me in and they barely even knew me."
He gave her a puzzled glance, as she sighed decidedly, leading him to sit on the Anderson's couch.
"I came here to make a new life. I told myself it was for everyone's own good. Yours, my friends, and my family's too; I would bring nothing but shame to all of you, or so I thought at the time. I had made the baby, I would pay for it. I was just so scared, and I wasn't thinking at all, because if I were, I would have realized how much I was putting Keisuke's life in jeopardy." Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how she once fleetingly thought of killing the unborn child in her womb.
She squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to rid them of the tears. "I had a job set up in New York City. I found it, and a scuzzy apartment nearby online. I gathered my savings and used the Luna Pen to make a passport and papers for myself under the name of Serena Tsukino, before fleeing by two trains, a boat, and a bus.
"I knew my parents would put out 'missing' articles and photos of me, so I used the crystal to disguise myself, or rather, put up a mental block for those who knew me before I came to America. That's why when you first met me here as Serena, you could only get so far as to think I looked like Usagi, much less connect my last name with the one you knew. I blocked all that info as well.
"When I got to New York, I went to meet with my new boss right away. The job was a waitress at a run down restaurant in downtown Brooklyn, and I wanted to start as soon as possible. Had I put more thought into it I would have realized that, first of all, being pregnant and on my feet all day would not have been the most healthy thing in the world, and secondly, what was I supposed to once I had the baby? I couldn't bring him to work, and he would be far too young to leave with a babysitter. There's no way I would have been able to afford the time off. I was doomed from the start. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the boss required something I could- wouldn't give." Her face twisted into a look of disgust at the recollection of the greasy man and his horrible slurred way of talking.
Mamoru swallowed hard, his nostrils flaring in anger, as he knew instantly what the man had wanted from Usagi, at her expression. But he bit his tongue, literally, and let her continue.
"Of course, no job meant no house. Luckily for both of us, I found a shelter that took us in. We remained there until I gave birth to Keisuke, and for a few months afterwards, until I met Kate and Max.
"We took turns doing things at the shelter, and that week it was my turn to buy diapers and food supplements. I went into the nearest convince store I could find, as I didn't have a baby carrier, and I wouldn't leave him at the shelter. I can only guess at what they were doing in that part of town, but as I reached for the diapers there Max was, helping me get them down. I smiled a bit nervously and thanked him before turning away quickly. I hadn't had very good experiences with strange men in New York, or anywhere for that matter. But when I turned around Kate was there, holding the supplies I had dropped while reaching for the diapers.
""What a beautiful baby." Those were her first words before she added, "I can see where he gets his looks." I couldn't help but smile and Keisuke, who was crying up to then, stopped and smiled at her too. Since then, I've always trusted the people Keisuke trusts. He's an amazingly good judge of character, even at just a few months old.
"Anyway, they got a cart and put my things in it, Kate pushing it for me and Max got the things I needed as we walked through the aisles. We chatted and they told me they were there on a tour of New York, visiting from Virginia. I perked up instantly, it being the only other place in America I had been to. We talked about Richmond for a while, until Max finally asked what I was dreading they would. He said, "I don't mean to offend you, but you look awfully young to have a child." Kate reprimanded him for being rude I guess, but I waved it away, not wanting them to fight. After I had paid for the items, I had come up short a couple dollars but they eagerly helped me pay, after we had done that, Kate offered to escort me home." Usagi clutched at her skirt tentatively, the guilt for their hospitalization starting to take effect again.
"You should have seen the look on her face when she saw where I lived. It was like someone had told her this was where her own daughter lived. After distributing the items we had bought, they left with a couple of hugs and 'thanks you''s, and I thought I would never see them again. Until one morning, a week later, before dawn the woman who ran the shelter shook me to wake me up and told me to pack my things. Some couple by the name of Anderson was going to foster me. When I asked her what she meant, she only scolded me for not telling her I was a minor, and that I was lucky they had come along when they did. They brought us here to live with them. They didn't ask me where I was from, or the details of Keisuke's conception, until a couple weeks ago, they knew nothing about my past."
Mamoru nodded, mentally resolving to express to them his newfound gratefulness. He had known that they had taken her in, but he could never have guessed the circumstances. "Kate doesn't blame you for her state, Usako. That's for certain. She was just relieved to hear you were all right."
Usagi bit her lip, glancing up at him. "Yeah?"
He nodded, "They took you in on their own free will. By not asking you what your past was, they were willing to accept whatever baggage you carried. They probably didn't know how much power your foes held, but they never thought twice about harboring you."
Usagi smiled as she remembered Kate's reaction when she told them for the first time what had happened to her. She had cried and held her tightly. Again, her pain had been Kate's pain, and Max... Max looked as though he wanted to kill. She could still see it flash in his eyes when he thought she was not looking. Maybe, just maybe, fighting Demando gave him a chance to feel like he did some real damage. They really did love her, no matter what points the devil's advocate inside of her brought up, they loved her.
Mamoru frowned suddenly as the last words of Usagi's story produced yet another question. "Usa, what made you finally tell them after all those years?"
Usagi looked away as she let her head fall back against the seat of the couch. Turning back to him she bit her lip hesitantly.
Mamoru swung his arm around her and gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "It's OK Usa, I asked because I want to know. That is, unless you don't want to say. I can wait." She stayed silent, contemplating, and so he spoke once more. "Earlier you said that pushing this away, that's what caused all this... Is that..."
She smiled matter-of-factly as he trailed off and she began to speak. "Why do you think I was able to defeat Demando the way I did?"
Mamoru shook his head, he had not a clue.
"When I came home with the Andersons it was December, a year after he- after he raped me." She swallowed, but the words brought comfort. He raped. He was the active party, not her. "It hurt too much to think about him, and about all of you. So I resolved that I wouldn't. Even the picture I kept of you and me next to my bed became two nameless faces after a while. This worked, more or less, for four years, until one day I sat down and I began to write. I had tried this before over the course of the years, but each time I had started out writing about him. This time, I wrote, I started out writing about... you. I wrote about the day we got back together, and this lead to writing about the first time I saw Demando." She sighed.
"After that it was as if I snapped, all in one night. I guess I had just repressed those memories for so long, when they came back..." Usagi reached into her pocket, producing a small round locket.
"I had the crystal on me the whole time to keep up the disguise, and in case of emergency. It was just responding to my emotions."
Mamoru laughed incredulously, a nervous shake in his voice. "Usako, you don't really believe you brought him back do you?"
Usagi shook her head. "No, I know I did. I blocked him out for so long, that when I finally faced my past through my writing, all the anger, all the fear, it came out all at once, almost five years worth of it. I let him rule my life, Mamo-chan and so he did. Every time I got scared or started to doubt myself, he materialized a little more, and pretty soon, I couldn't control him at all. When you told me you knew who I really was, was that just last night? It seems like ages ago." She shook her head again, knowing she had digressed. "But when you told me, I lost it. I had nothing to hide behind any longer, and I couldn't face you. All my fears came back stronger than ever, my worst one being--"
"That he would take Keisuke..." Mamoru finished for her, not believing what he was hearing.
"Exactly." Usagi affirmed.
"Of course..." Mamoru stated, shifting in his seat. "What Ami said makes sense now. That dimension, it was, Demando held the power in your head, and that's where the dimension was set."
Usagi nodded. Somehow she had known that, thought she had not realized it was she who had inadvertently created it, until now. Somehow she knew that whatever her will was there, it would be carried out. "Thus when I wanted Demando to go away, he did."
"But only once you conquered your fear of him." Mamoru reinstated. "When we couldn't reach you, that was your fear ruling."
"Sort of." Usagi bit her lip. "Consequently, a part of me didn't want you to reach me. I- I guess I was punishing myself." She glanced over at him just as he was about to open his mouth and laughed, silencing him. "Yes I know, Mamo-chan; I can't make other people's decisions for them, right?"
He laughed at her insight and kissed her forehead. "Damn straight."
"Mamo-chan, you know I would never have willingly made all of this happen right? I mean, yes. It happened because of some poor choices I made but--"
"You couldn't have possibly foreseen what bottling it up would do. You were scared, and wanted to protect yourself. You know what that makes you?"
She shook her head warily.
He smiled a little and whispered in her ear, "Human." He laughed at her sigh of relief.
But Usagi frowned. "It still doesn't excuse my actions towards my parents. Mamo-chan, how can I face them again?"
He paused before replying. "Do you want to?"
"Well, yeah!" She countered. "But what about, what about them?"
"Usako, say Keisuke left you without notice and without warning, and was gone for the better part of half a decade. Now, say you learn, all those years later, that he was indeed alive and wanting to see you, would you want to see him too?"
"Mamo-chan, how can you even ask that?"
"Well, would you?" He asked again.
Usagi sighed. "Yes. Without question. If I had to, I would travel half way around the world to see him again."
Mamoru smiled softly. "So would they."
Recognition flowed into Usagi's eyes, and she closed them, sighing. "What do I do? Call them? "Hey mom, it's me! I'm alive! Oh, you have a grandchild too! Aren't you glad to hear from me?""
"No..." Mamoru drawled. "You- your mother thinks..."
Usagi cocked her head to the side. "My mother thinks what?"
Mamoru shook his head. It was not as if Mrs. Tsukino was really crazy. He alone knew that she only acted as if she believed her daughter was right beside her. She had confided in him, saying it was just so much easier than having to deal with all the "I'm so sorry's," and the fact that her little girl really was gone. But that was not what Usagi needed to hear. At the moment she had enough to deal with. Things would sort themselves out with time.
"Your mother thinks nothing less of you. You have time to make it up to your parents. Right now you have a son who really needs to know his mother is OK, and a life of your own to sort out."
She let out another predominantly long sigh, and stood, him rising with her. "You're right. I do need to get my ducks in a row."
Mamoru laughed. "Your WHAT?"
Usagi shook her head gaily. "Never mind. It's an American saying."
Mamoru's face formed a quizzical look then. "I was wondering, how did you learn English so fast? Sorry to be blunt, but it was your WORST subject back in Japan."
Usagi laughed and walked ahead of him towards the kitchen. "I had my ways. Some English tapes, a little help from the crystal... I found I could use the crystal for menial tasks without being drained. Learning English and disguising yourself aren't nearly as hard as vaporizing a yoma. But yeah, there was no way on Earth I could have learned something so fast without the crystal's help, I've got be dumber than aAHH!" She yelped suddenly as he took her by the waist, turning her with one swift movement and claiming her lips for his own.
She swallowed hard when they finally broke away, taking a moment before saying anything to let the haze clear. "Wha- what was that for?"
He chuckled lightly. "I had to shut you up someway."
At her questioning look he sighed and rested his head to hers. "Usako, you need to stop putting your self down. Do you use the crystal for work and school?"
She shook her head and looked down, fingering the lining of his shirt.
"Exactly. Above anyone else, Usa, YOU need to like YOU. If not, you're only setting yourself up to fail. Who would actually help someone she hates? I love you. I want you to succeed, but you've got to want yourself to succeed as well."
She smiled softly, raising her hands from his shirt to wrap her arms around his neck. "I love you too Mamo-chan. I trust you. So if you love me, then I guess I can't be all that bad." She scrunched up her face. It was a humorous expression but Mamoru could see that tears hid behind it. "In fact, I'm not bad at all."
He chuckled endearingly, giving her waist a squeeze. "No. Not at all." He replied seriously. "You fought SO hard. Not me, not the girls, not even Sailor Moon. YOU destroyed him, by will alone. Few victims are able to do what you did, and their attackers don't materialize! It takes a strong heart to do that, and a strong heart you've got."
Usagi nodded, and gave him a grateful smile. She leaned up to kiss him when the squeak of a door was heard and Usagi smiled when a voice soon followed it. "Mama?"
Mamoru grinned resolving to kiss her forehead before releasing her towards her son, who was slowly descending stairs, one step at a time.
At the sight of his mother Keisuke jumped the last three steps down the stairs, making her wince and ran into her open arms.
"Hey, Baby," she cooed, scooping him up and holding him tight.
Hey pulled away and let his chubby hands frame her face. "Are you OK now, Mama? Is the bad man gone?"
Usagi let out a start of a laugh, hugging him tightly again. "Yeah, I got rid of him, Baby. He's not going to bother us any more."
At her affirmation, Keisuke wiggled out of her arms and to her surprise, slid down her body, heading straight for Mamoru.
Mamoru squat down to his level, smiling widely. "Hey there kido."
Keisuke failed to respond, but leaned in as to not be heard by his mother. "Are you really Tuxedo Mask?" His eyes twinkling in delight at the prospect that his favorite teacher could be his favorite hero in his mother's bed time stories.
Mamoru raised surprised eyebrows at him, but recalled the night before. Keisuke had known his transformed identity then too, but he had failed to take note, in view of the circumstances. "Yes, I really am, Casey, but how do you know who Tuxedo Ka- Mask is?" He asked suspiciously, catching himself from using the Japanese name.
"Mama told me all about him-, you." He said, still whispering. "In her stories you always saved Sailor Moon whenever she was in trouble, and they were in love and-"
Mamoru chuckled, merrily. "It's OK Casey, you don't have to whisper. Your mama knows who I am."
Keisuke's eyes grew wide as he turned to look incredulously at his mother, who frowned in confusion as he swung back around to Mamoru, refusing to retire his whisper. "But you love MAMA, right?"
Mamoru nodded sagely. "Yes Casey. I do."
Keisuke's eyes grew even wider, if possible. "Then does that mean that---" He turned around once more to fully face his mother, his change to a louder tone of voice startling her. "Are you Sailor Moon, Mama?"
"Looks like you have some explaining to do, Odango Atama." Mamoru chuckled, shaking his head as he stood.
Usagi rolled her eyes heavenward and sighed. "Don't I know it."
Mamoru smiled at her positively as she scooped up her son, once again, and brought him over to the couch for another for what was going to be another long talk.
"You see, Honey, it all started one thousand years ago..." And so Usagi began, for the first time, to tell her son of not only her own heritage, but his own as well.
*~*~*~Eight Months Later*~*~*~*
Usagi chewed at her thumb nervously as she looked over the garment placed before her. She glanced up at her companion, finally shaking her head slowly. "I can't."
Her cohort chuckled lightly. "Of course you can. You have to. You've only got five minutes!"
"What if I trip?"
Kate smiled endearingly. "Serena," she started, still preferring to call her by her English name. "In four years I have yet to see you trip."
Usagi shook her head again. "I *used* to trip all the time. It COULD happen again."
"Just walk with care. You won't trip."
"What if I do something wrong?"
"Serena, there's nothing to get wrong. You just walk up there smile brilliantly, turn to face the man, smile graciously to everyone again, and stay there."
"But-!"
Kate sighed in mock exasperation. Reaching over she picked up and shoved the items into Usagi's arms. "Listen USAGI, they're tuning the organ! GO GET DRESSED!" She pointed dutifully to the women's restroom.
Usagi let out a small squeak as she was shoved the clothes. "All right! All right! I'll go."
Kate gave a start herself and jumped a little when she turned and was face to face with Mamoru, her husband close behind. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" She exclaimed breathlessly.
Max grinned, kissing her lips lightly. "Nope. Just the two of us here, Mamoru and me."
"You think you are so funny Maxwell William Anderson."
"Now, now, let's not quarrel here on such an important day."
"No, lets not." She cooed patronizingly.
Mamoru cleared his throat politely as Kate and Max deviated a little too far into their own world.
Max pulled away from Kate, apologizing before slapping Mamoru on the back. "So, are ya nervous, about tonight I mean?" He asked, winking.
Mamoru blushed slightly and shoved his hands deep into his dress pants. "Uh, yeah, a little actually."
Kate creased her brows. "Nervous, 'bout what?"
Max rolled his eyes playfully. "You sure you're not blonde honey?" After a good whack on the arm with her purse he laughed and backed away. "What's he nervous about, he's gonna do it, Kate!"
Kate's eyes lit up with recognition and she smacked her forehead. "Oh! Of course!" She laughed, rubbing the spot on Max's arm where she had hit. "Maybe I am going blonde! Tonight's the big night! Not to mention that *they're* coming."
"Who's coming?" Usagi asked, emerging from the bathroom, finally dressed.
Kate whirled around, and tears formed in her eyes as she took in the sight of Usagi. "You look so beautiful..." She stated, wrapping her arms around her.
Usagi frowned. "I look androgynous."
"Smile!" Max called from behind his camera and Usagi rolled her eyes.
"Max!" She whined.
"Now, now Usako, this is a big day! You should by proud!" Mamoru reprimanded playfully at her behavior.
Usagi turned her head and grinned when she caught sight of him. "Mamo- chan!" She moved to hug him but stopped and frowned. "I thought you were going to watch Keisuke before the ceremony?"
"Don't worry, he's with Molly." He dismissed it, closing the gap she had left and hugging her. "Besides I have to tell you something. Your--" He began to whisper but she pulled away as a familiar tune filtered through the halls to their ears.
"Crap!" She laughed. Pulling away from him and kissing each of their cheeks. "I gotta go! I love you guys!" She called before running towards the music.
"Wait! Usako!" Mamoru desperately tried to call after her.
"Tell me afterwards! DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH if I trip!" And with that she was gone.
Mamoru sighed and let his raised arm fall to wipe his neck as Max shook his head. "I certainly wasn't this nervous before *my* graduation ceremony."
Kate smiled wisely and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You weren't almost twenty either."
"Very true." he admitted, picking up her hand and kissing it. But Max creased his brows when he looked over and saw Mamoru in a somewhat agitated state. "What's wrong, son? It's still early! You have plenty of time to be nervous later!"
Mamoru ran a hand through his hair and placed a hand on Max's shoulder. "Well, uh... I didn't exactly have a change to tell Usa that they were coming..."
Kate's eyes grew wide as she leaned forward, placing a hand on Mamoru's arm. "You mean she doesn't know? Well, Darlin' I have a feeling she might not be too happy about that."
Mamoru nodded and opened his mouth to voice his remorse about not telling her, when he was beat to the punch by a feminine voice behind them, familiar to his ears only.
"Mamoru-san?"
He sighed and strode up to her, taking both her arms in his, greeting her with a warm smile. She smiled, not insincerely but meekly, in return, taking his arms as well.
"Tsukino-san. Welcome. I hope you had a nice trip." He greeted her in Japanese.
Ikuko laughed nervously. "As nice as possible, I suppose."
Mamoru nodded and closed his eyes in acknowledgement before opening them and looking around. "Where are Shingo-kun and your husband?"
Ikuko closed her eyes this time and breathed in heavily before stating in shaky words, "I didn't tell them about the letter you sent, Mamoru-san. Not its true contents. I told them I was going to visit my sister in Washington DC." She raised teary eyes up to meet his. "I'm so sorry; I'll tell them as soon as I get back. I am such a selfish person Mamoru-san. I just wanted her to myself first. I wanted-."
"Shh, shh, Ikuko-san. Daijoubu." He comforted her, embracing her softly. "You don't need to apologize or explain to me. I understand." He explained, pulling away. "If anything I should apologize to you. I, I failed to tell Usa you were coming."
Ikuko looked up at him with desperation, suddenly clutching him at her daughter's name. "Where is she Mamoru-san? When can I see her?"
Mamoru smiled and offered her his arm, which she hesitantly took and walked towards the near forgotten Anderson couple. "After the ceremony, which is going to start in just a couple minutes, but first I think you should meet two very amazing people."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Usagi felt the adrenaline pumping in her veins as she mounted the stage to receive her diploma. She took very deliberate steps, hiking up her gown a little as she ascended the mini staircase, the words "don't trip" running over and over in her mind, but only on the surface. She knew they were really there as a distraction from what was really going through her head. Here she was, a mother, graduating high school. However the negative thoughts that would normally came after she looked at it that way, failed to this time. Instead, a feeling of pride had replaced that. Here she was, a mother, and she had managed to graduate with all honors classes, and was even a part of the national honors society! But far surpassing all of that was that she had been accepted to the top three schools on her list, UVA, Virginia Tech, and... Azabu Institute, in Japan. She frowned slightly, still unsure about what she was going to do with that acceptance letter. Was moving back to Japan really an option?
However her thoughts were discontinued as she heard the booming sound of, "Usagi Serenity Tsukino!", called out over the microphone. The adrenaline was back, stronger than ever, but she grinned famously at her principal as he shook her hand and the woman next to him handed her diploma.
She reached up to pull her tassel over her cap when some distinct voices made their way over the noise of the Center and graduation march.
"Usagi-chan!"
"Go, Usagi-chan!"
"Congrats Sere!"
"Ometeto, Usagi-chan!"
"Aishiteru, Usako!"
"Usagi Baka, ometeto!"
"Yay, Mama!"
Usagi smiled tearfully at them, waving her diploma enthusiastically in their direction after moving her tassel fully over her cap. She sat in her designated seat and after turning her class ring so that she could no longer read the name, in following with post-graduation tradition; she glanced back up to where they were seated and smiled as she saw everyone there. Mamoru, Molly, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Keisuke, Kate, Max, and... She squinted as she failed to make out the form of the woman sitting next to Mamoru. Light blue hair, dressed in older clothing, she almost resembled- -
Impossible!
But was it? How would she be...? Mamoru. He must have invited her. 'You're over reacting.' Her mind told her, but her heart said something different.
The rest of the ceremony was a blur. Empty speeches, random songs, finally everyone was tossing their hats in the air, but Usagi could think of nothing but one thing. She rushed through the crowd, searching for the familiar mix of hair colors, her desperation growing by the minute.
Finally she made it outside, searching frantically left and right. Where they hiding? They were right THERE the entire ceremony! She made to run for the refreshment hall when someone took a firm hold of her arm. She was whirled around but she let out a mighty sigh when she found she was face to face with Mamoru.
He sighed himself and loosening his grip he took her other arm in his other hand. "Usako, I'm so sorry. I tried to tell you before the ceremony but-- I should have told you before I even sent the letter. I could see how much you missed them though. Each day it became so much more evident than it had been the last... and she deserved to know Usa. They deserved to know... that you were alive if nothing more."
Usagi nodded, her breathing still ragged. "Ok Mamo-chan, I'll deal with you later, but right now," she bit her lip and looked straight into his eyes. "Right now I just want to see my Mama. Where is she?"
Mamoru bit his own lip. "So you're not mad at me?"
"No. A little annoyed, but it's not like you ran off without a note and I won't see you for five years." She jested sarcastically.
He was about to contradict her when she shook him. "But I will be mad if you bring here all the way here and don't let me see her!" Her eyes softened with her grip. "Please, Mamo-chan."
"Usagi-chan?"
Usagi whirled out of Mamoru arms, and her world slowly stopped as she took in the sight of the woman standing before her. Her mother.
Her diploma dropped to the ground, but it meant nothing, high school, motherhood, all those years fell away and Usagi was five years old again, and could think of nothing but of her mommy holding her, welcoming her home from summer camp.
All her doubts, all her words flew out the door as she heedlessly ran into her mother's arms. Her cap and gown were now overalls and odangos, her dropped diploma - a lunch pale. The only thing that mattered was reaching the sanctuary of those arms.
"Mama!" She cried, literally, as her mother welcomed the forced with which she hit, catching her and staying upright, a miracle all mothers somehow managed no matter how big their child had grown.
Usagi threw her arms around her and sobbed as Ikuko whispered sweet nothings of comfort, rubbing her back with her experienced caring hands. "I'm so sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry I left you and Papa and even Shingo. I didn't want to, I swear I didn't. I was just so scared, Mama. I was so scared. I didn't know it wasn't my fault, I thought you would hate me and I would bring us shame, and I'm so sorry, Mama, I'm so sorry!" She wept her apologies without restraint; even though she knew the moment her mother's arms had encircled her that excuses were beyond unnecessary, she still needed that confirmation every child needs, whether what they have done was wrong or right, they still needed to hear--
"I love you, Usagi. I love you so much! I could never, EVER hate you. Not now, not then, not EVER! Not ever, my Usa, not ever." She repeated as they had both sank to the ground, and she rocked her child, her only daughter, her first born, her baby girl in her arms again after far too long. After the betrayal, after the lies, after the confusion, she was holding her again, and none of that mattered anymore.
"So," Ikuko said finally, breaking their embrace, but only enough that she would be able look at her daughter. "When do I get to meet this grandson of mine?"
Usagi sniffled and laughed a little. "Didn't you all sit together?"
Ikuko blushed a little. "I didn't dare talk to him. I don't think he saw me."
Usagi rose, bringing Ikuko up with her. "Well we'll just have to change that, won't we?" She laughed, walking forward to catch up with Mamoru who had moved to give them privacy, gaily showing her mother the way.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Mamo-chan, where are we going?" Usagi half laughed, half whined as he led her through the restaurant and out the backdoor. After her graduation they had all gone out to eat at a fancy steak house by the name of "Ruth's Chris", a treat co-paid by Max and Mamoru. Her mother had been immediately welcomed by Max and Kate, but most importantly, adored by Keisuke. Usagi smiled genuinely when she recalled how Keisuke's features lit up when he was told the identity of the woman walking arm and arm with his mother.
After dinner, during which Keisuke had insisted on sitting next to *his* grandmother, Max and Kate excused themselves mysteriously taking Keisuke with them. If that was not strange enough, the girls followed in suit, saying their 'flight' from Japan had been long and they were tired. And then at that, her mother adamantly agreed that she too was tired, and promised to make plans for the next day. That left her with, oh wait, Mamoru.
"Gee." She had stated in a dead pan. "I wonder what THAT was all about. It could not have possibly been devised so that we would be alone, could it?"
He had laughed outright and standing from his chair, he pulled her up from her own and replied, with all seriousness, "Never." Before his face burst into a huge grin and he grabbed her hand, leading her down seemingly endless twists and turns they were taking now.
"Mamo-chan! Come ON! Do I have to close my eyes? Tell me where we're going!"
Mamoru only laughed and shook his head. "Want some cheese with that whine?"
Usagi snorted. "I better be getting some cheese with it! You know I'm really not liking this not- telling-me-what-you're-doing-before-you-do-it stuff! Where did you learn that phrase anyway?"
Mamoru snorted this time. "You underestimate me, I've only been living here, what, almost a year now? I couldn't possible pick up that many American sayings."
Usagi smiled wryly. "Well you've certainly picked up American sarcasm."
"Ok." Mamoru breathed, stopping finally. "We're here."
"Can I open my eyes now?"
'Hmm hmm." His deep tenor rumbled out, sending shivers down her spine as she opened her eyes, and gasped.
"Oh Mamo-chan..." She breathed, unable to move.
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "You like it?"
Usagi shook her head, reaching behind her to touch his arm gently with her fingertips. "I love it." She turned around in his embrace and reached up to lightly brush his lips with her own. "Thank you."
He smiled hazily, intoxicated by her caresses. God she was amazing, but he would linger on such lazy thoughts later, as for now, he had an agenda.
Regretfully, he pulled away from her, and a reached over to pull out a wicker chair, bowing slightly, "My lady."
Usagi giggled lightly, curtsying to him in return and sat. She giggled again when she felt him push in her chair, recalling that wonderful and horrible night at the Jefferson Hotel so long ago. She shook her head and looked around at her current surroundings once more. They were on a threshold of a small but beautiful garden behind the restaurant. Surrounding them was some sort of white wicker structure, consisting of a canopy, and four elegant polls supporting it. Intertwined with the wicker were twinkle lights mingled with ivy to give off a glittering forest effect.
If all that was not enough, next to their small table for two was the best thing of all: All the chef's desert specials for the night. She raised an eyes brow at him as he sat down across from her. "Looks like someone knows me just a little too well."
He chuckled, placing his napkin in his lap. "You know me, it's not like I have a life or anything."
Usagi licked her lips and picked up the nearest desert after he motioned that it was OK. "Apparently not." She took a bite of the desert and almost moaned in ecstasy. "NOT that I am complaining mind you."
He laughed and picked up a slice of Death by Chocolate cake. "I'll take it it's good?"
Usagi nodded enthusiastically but blushed when she saw his humored expression. She put down her fork and folded her hands in her lap. "Really, Mamo-chan, what's this all about? I mean, it's absolutely amazing, but..." She looked down at her entangled fingers.
Mamoru placed his own fork down, sighing deeply. He hadn't planed for it to go this quickly! Oh, well, it was now or never.
"Usako, come back to Japan with me."
Usagi glanced up sharply. Was she hearing things? God how she- She stopped her thoughts and shook her head before looking back down again and swallowing. "What about Kate and Max?" She asked softly.
Her glance had told him nothing, and his heart was nearly in his throat he was so scared. But he fallowed her lead swallowed himself, steadying his tone. "You could always come back and visit, and with the internet, you could chat everyday! I- I'm not asking you to forget about them, I'm asking..." He trailed off. His palms were sweaty, why did he suddenly feel as though he were in high school again? And why wasn't she saying anything, damn it! "It's not to late to apply to--"
"I already did." She interrupted. "And I got in."
Mamoru swallowed, yet again, his throat if possible had gone even drier. "To Azabu?"
She nodded. "Mamo-chan?"
"Yes?"
"I..." She paused, but only for a moment before throwing her hands down on the table, her voice shaking. "I wanna go back. I miss it there so much. With everything that's happened with my mom... I need to go back. To be with her, with dad, and Shingo too. I want Keisuke to see where I grew up. I want him to settle in a school, make friends, and have a normal life! I can give him all that so much better where I know my surroundings... The only thing I can't give him..."
Mamoru licked his lips and raised his brows expectantly, reaching across the table to massage her hand in his. "Is what, Usa? What can't you give him?"
"I, I can't... I can't give him a real family." She whispered the words, almost too afraid to say them. Too afraid to hope...
They lingered there for a moment, suspended in time, the ping pong ball of their game resting mid-air, before dropping, and being hit with a bang.
"Says who?"
Quickly, before the ball was fully out of his court, he dug into his pocket and produced a small, black, velvet box; an object that never failed to take a woman's breath away and Usagi was no exception.
Usagi's breath stayed taken as he stood, and hastily rounded the table.
"Mamo-chan..." Was all she could croak out, her eyes brimming themselves with tears as he took his position on one knee in front of her.
"Tsukino Usagi, Serenity. I love you, and your son more than I have ever loved anyone or thing in my life. Before you came a long I was nothing, and when I lost you a second time, it hit harder than any separation through a past life could ever hit. I didn't fall in love with Serenity all over again; I fell in love with you, Usagi: The bouncy fourteen year-old who could give a better comeback than any of my friends. I fell in love with Usagi: the strong nineteen year-old mother of one amazing little boy, who persevered through so much and stood up to her worst fear with so little, to save that boy. I would be nothing again if I couldn't have you by my side for the rest of my days. Usako, will you marry me?"
The tears were flowing unabashedly down her cheeks now as he slid the beautiful solitaire diamond onto her left ring finger, looking up at her with earnest eyes. She couldn't hold it in any longer, she launched herself into his arms, sending them both flying backwards into the grass.
"Yes, Mamo-chan, YES! Of course I will marry you!" She cried it into the night, laughing as he rolled them over, pinning her underneath of him, and kissed her under the gentle glow of the moon after she cried out one last time, to the world, to him, to herself, and finally to Demando.
"YES!"
This time, truly, she was going home.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ug, finally! Tell me what ya'll think! There will be a short epilogue to follow. And I do mean short. Like, as short as my prologue, maybe not even... lol we'll see. But there will be one!
Adieu, review!
~Claidi