Mac picked up the envelope and flipped it over. All it said was, Sarah.
She immediately recognized the handwriting as Harm's. She opened the
envelope and took out the folded piece of paper and began reading.
Sarah,
I'm writing this letter to you so I can say all the things I couldn't tell you face to face. You might think this is the coward's way out, but it's the only way I can get my feelings straight. So, here it goes. When you said we could never work it felt as if someone had stabbed me through the heart. Part of me died when you said those words. I know it sounds clichéd, but it's true. I'm not telling you this because I want you to feel bad, I don't think you would anyway. I'm telling you this simply to let you know. I know you said it would be physically impossible for us to be together, but that just means you're too tired of trying. I don't blame you; I've made it the hardest thing in your life. I'm sorry that I've hurt you. I don't blame you for giving up on us. But I want you to know that I will never give up. Even if you hate my guts, I will always love you. I thought I made that clear when I resigned my commission to travel to Paraguay in order to save you, but that's my mistake. So, since my actions weren't good enough I'll say it. I love you, Sarah Mackenzie. I don't really know when it happened, but I know that I love you. Even if you never feel the same, I'll wait for you. You may think that we're not right for each other, but the way I see it we may not be right for anybody else. I love you, Sarah, and only you. Forever.
Love Always and Forever, Harm
Mac swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks, but that didn't stop them from falling. She hadn't realized that Harm felt this strongly about her. She knew he loved her and cared for her, but she always thought it was more of a protective brotherly kind of love. She never in a million years thought he would love her the way he explained in the letter.
After she read over it another time she remembered the CD that came with the letter. She got up and put the CD in the stereo. After hitting play she sat back down on the couch and grabbed the picture that had come earlier that day. She sat staring at the picture as the words flowed through the speakers.
A hundred day had made me older Since the last time that I saw your pretty face A thousand lights had made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time
I here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight its only you and me
The miles just keep rolling As the people either wave to say hello I hear this live is overrated But I hope it gets better as we go
I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl it's only you and me
Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it won't take away my love And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done It gets hard but it won't take away my love
I'm here without baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl it's only and me
As the song ended Mac's vision blurred to the point that the figures in the picture became nothing but blurred blobs. Now that she knew Harm felt the same way she did, she realized; how what she said in Paraguay affected him. He probably wasn't that far off when he said he felt like he had died. How could she have been so blind? When she thought back on everything that had happened in the last eight years she saw all the signs. When he kissed on the dock at Norfolk he wasn't kissing Diane, he was kissing her. At her engagement party when he kissed her on the Admiral's porch he wasn't kissing goodbye, it was his way of expressing his feelings. And just a couple weeks ago when he resigned his commission he was showing her what he would give up in order to have. And what did she do? She shoves it right back in his face. And the most amazing thing was the fact that he still loved her, and wanted her. At that moment Mac knew she had never known a more forgiving man. After all she put him through, he forgave all she'd done and laid his heart on the line. And at that same moment she realized she'd never loved another man more. Realizing what she had to do, Mac got up and after grabbing her car keys she left the apartment.
****
Harm was sitting in his chair, playing his guitar, and thinking about Mac. He couldn't get her out of his mind. All day long he'd try to concentrate on work, but she was always distracting him. Not that he minded at all. He'd wondering what she would think about his letter. It had taken him all last night to write it. His wastebasket was overflowing with similar copies of his letter. He felt like he had used and thrown away at least 200 pieces of paper. By the time he had finished the one he sent his hand had a cramp the size of Montana and he felt like he had laid face down in the sand with his eyes open. When he finally went to bed it was four- thirty in the morning and he had to be at work at nine. So, needless to say, he was a tad bit tired. Think God all he had to do was fill out reports. If he'd had fly a plane he probably would've crashed. He drank cup after cup of coffee but nothing had woken him up enough to stop the nodding off that had happened all day. But, now that he was home he couldn't fall asleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her.
He almost had a heart attack when a sharp knock broke the silence in his apartment. He looked at the clock on the wall and knew that only one person would knock on his door at eleven-thirty at night: Mac.
Sarah,
I'm writing this letter to you so I can say all the things I couldn't tell you face to face. You might think this is the coward's way out, but it's the only way I can get my feelings straight. So, here it goes. When you said we could never work it felt as if someone had stabbed me through the heart. Part of me died when you said those words. I know it sounds clichéd, but it's true. I'm not telling you this because I want you to feel bad, I don't think you would anyway. I'm telling you this simply to let you know. I know you said it would be physically impossible for us to be together, but that just means you're too tired of trying. I don't blame you; I've made it the hardest thing in your life. I'm sorry that I've hurt you. I don't blame you for giving up on us. But I want you to know that I will never give up. Even if you hate my guts, I will always love you. I thought I made that clear when I resigned my commission to travel to Paraguay in order to save you, but that's my mistake. So, since my actions weren't good enough I'll say it. I love you, Sarah Mackenzie. I don't really know when it happened, but I know that I love you. Even if you never feel the same, I'll wait for you. You may think that we're not right for each other, but the way I see it we may not be right for anybody else. I love you, Sarah, and only you. Forever.
Love Always and Forever, Harm
Mac swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks, but that didn't stop them from falling. She hadn't realized that Harm felt this strongly about her. She knew he loved her and cared for her, but she always thought it was more of a protective brotherly kind of love. She never in a million years thought he would love her the way he explained in the letter.
After she read over it another time she remembered the CD that came with the letter. She got up and put the CD in the stereo. After hitting play she sat back down on the couch and grabbed the picture that had come earlier that day. She sat staring at the picture as the words flowed through the speakers.
A hundred day had made me older Since the last time that I saw your pretty face A thousand lights had made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time
I here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight its only you and me
The miles just keep rolling As the people either wave to say hello I hear this live is overrated But I hope it gets better as we go
I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl it's only you and me
Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it won't take away my love And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done It gets hard but it won't take away my love
I'm here without baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl it's only and me
As the song ended Mac's vision blurred to the point that the figures in the picture became nothing but blurred blobs. Now that she knew Harm felt the same way she did, she realized; how what she said in Paraguay affected him. He probably wasn't that far off when he said he felt like he had died. How could she have been so blind? When she thought back on everything that had happened in the last eight years she saw all the signs. When he kissed on the dock at Norfolk he wasn't kissing Diane, he was kissing her. At her engagement party when he kissed her on the Admiral's porch he wasn't kissing goodbye, it was his way of expressing his feelings. And just a couple weeks ago when he resigned his commission he was showing her what he would give up in order to have. And what did she do? She shoves it right back in his face. And the most amazing thing was the fact that he still loved her, and wanted her. At that moment Mac knew she had never known a more forgiving man. After all she put him through, he forgave all she'd done and laid his heart on the line. And at that same moment she realized she'd never loved another man more. Realizing what she had to do, Mac got up and after grabbing her car keys she left the apartment.
****
Harm was sitting in his chair, playing his guitar, and thinking about Mac. He couldn't get her out of his mind. All day long he'd try to concentrate on work, but she was always distracting him. Not that he minded at all. He'd wondering what she would think about his letter. It had taken him all last night to write it. His wastebasket was overflowing with similar copies of his letter. He felt like he had used and thrown away at least 200 pieces of paper. By the time he had finished the one he sent his hand had a cramp the size of Montana and he felt like he had laid face down in the sand with his eyes open. When he finally went to bed it was four- thirty in the morning and he had to be at work at nine. So, needless to say, he was a tad bit tired. Think God all he had to do was fill out reports. If he'd had fly a plane he probably would've crashed. He drank cup after cup of coffee but nothing had woken him up enough to stop the nodding off that had happened all day. But, now that he was home he couldn't fall asleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her.
He almost had a heart attack when a sharp knock broke the silence in his apartment. He looked at the clock on the wall and knew that only one person would knock on his door at eleven-thirty at night: Mac.