02 Memories
In the pit of the night you used to pull me so close
And then you'd hold me so tight
And in the wink of an eye you used to give me it all
And with a kiss in the darkness you'd deliver the
light
And in the pit of the night I hear you laughing so
loud
I know you're laughing at me
Oh ain't it funny and sad the way I fell for your lies
The way I fell into love and then I begged to be free
You gave me nothing at all, now let me give it to you
You taught me how to be cruel, now let me try it on
you
(Meatloaf, Kill you if you don't come back)
A bright light shone through the window and tickled
his nose. While the dizziness vanished a wave of pain
ran down his spine and filled his whole body with
agony. He moaned and a little later he felt a hand
under his head and a fluid against his lips. He
swallowed the foul tasting substance he recognized as
a healing potion. He had used quite a few back last
year, when they had fought the Death Eaters on
Hogwarts' grounds. Unable to storm the castle they had
eventually left, or at least the living part of them,
not including Peter Pettigrew. The trial he had never
had had been hold and the judges had found him not
guilty in all cases. Since he was free, he had spent
the summer with his godson Harry at his new house in
London.
When Harry had returned to Hogwarts for his last year,
Sirius had been offered the position of the
DADA-teacher, but he had declined and taken his old
job back as an auror for the Ministry of Magic. When
the last session of the trial had been finished and he
had his whole belongings back, including the Black
fortune at Gringotts, he had spent the day in
Wizarding-London, when someone had knocked him out.
The last thing he remembered was waking up in a dirty,
dark cell, his only company a few rats. One time a
day, as he assumed, since he didn't have a watch or
his wand, a man in dark robes came and brought him
food and water. He never got an answer to his
questions from the Death Eater. Then, one day, three
men had shown up, from which he recognized his keeper,
the Dark Lord himself, which had sent down shivers
down his spine and another man. His eyes had shown
cold and black through the holes in the white mask –
Snape.
Suddenly younger memories invaded his brain, memories
of hurt, pain, agonizing pain in his abdomen and a
cold laughter from Riddle and the other Death Eater,
mixed with his own screams and moans of pleasure from
behind him. NO!
His eyes flew open in horror, when he felt the
numbness in his lower body. It was easy to count one
and one together: on one hand the numbness and the
white ceiling of the hospital wing, on the other hand
the dizzy memories, only pictures without connection
and sounds - noises of pain and pleasure, lost dignity
and the bursting laughter of the Death Eaters…
"No..."
His voice was weak, when he blinked. A white bearded
face hovered over him, a sorrowful look on the
wrinkled features. He recognized the headmaster and
closed his eyes again.
He was safe now.
Down in the dungeon, Severus Snape paced his office;
his thoughts fixed on the deep hatred inside him, not
for Black, surely not, but for his old Master. How he
ever had been able to join him was a riddle to Snape,
how he could have believed all the lies about love,
acceptance, power, security and a better future, but
after a time had crawled back to Dumbledore and begged
for forgiveness. Albus had granted him mercy and from
that moment he had been a spy for the light. Riddle
had not had a clue of his treachery until last year,
when he had ordered Snape to weaken the wards around
Hogwarts. He had strengthened them instead and
pretended Dumbledore had found the wards low and made
it himself. But then that rat Pettigrew had found
traces of his magic and reported to his Lord.
Well, it didn't matter anymore, since his career as a
spy had come to an end. Severus had been happy to end
the charade, but now other problems had occurred that
ripped his heat in two and burned deeper than most
knew.
Albus had talked to him after he had woken up in the
infirmary, but it didn't ease his pain much. When he
had joined the Dark Lord his boyfriend had been
pregnant. Unfortunately he had made a mistake and was
punished with the Cruciatus, what had led him to loose
the baby and soon later he had taken his own life as
well to escape the cruelty of life.
After that Severus had turned his back to his Lord,
his family and his friends and began to teach at
Hogwarts under the direct eye of Albus Dumbledore, the
most powerful, wise, determined and kindest wizard
ever, though he was an old, manipulative coot.
He stopped pacing in front of the fireplace. He took
a deep breath, before he threw some Floo-powder into
the fire, before he said: "Headmaster's office!" and
stepped into the green flames. He ignored the swirling
inside his stomach and stepped gracefully out of the
fireplace. The headmaster looked at him, before he
finished the letter on his desk.
"Ah, Severus. I assume it's about the incident from
yesterday?"
"Yes, Albus."
"So, my dear boy, what can I do for you?"
"Besides from killing Riddle and listen to me, not
much."
"I can't kill Voldemort or I'd have done it long ago,
but I'll listen."
"It's about the baby."
"Ah, yes. I thought you'd want to talk about that."
"It's not THAT, Albus, it's only an innocent child."
"Completely right."
"Will Black keep it?"
"He has no choice. We talked this morning and the only
way to abort the child would make him loose his own
magic as well, so he'll have to keep it, yes."
"But he didn't want to. Does he know about me, by the
way?"
"I didn't tell him jet. And I would phrase it
different: he was slightly disgusted, but he doesn't
blame the child for anything, so he'd keep it anyway."
"He will raise it himself?"
"Yes, he said as much."
"I see."
"And?"
"It's mine as well."
"So you'll claim father-ship?"
"Yes, it's my child, not only his."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I suppose I have to talk to black first."
"I'd advise that."
"Stop being so calm. You know it's a sensitive spot
for me!"
"I know, Severus. We'll keep both of them safe."
"Good."
"He's awake. You can talk to him, but please be
gentle. The whole - procedure - is hard on him. He's a
little shy to any kind of touch and so on."
"I wish I could have prevented it."
"I know, Severus. He'll understand."
"Are you sure. He'll bite my head off when he gets to
know the truth."
"You have to tell him yourself. It's the highest
chance he won't freak out."
Severus nodded absentmindedly and left the office
through the door, heading for the hospital wing. He
wouldn't admit it, but he was more afraid of Black
that of Voldemort at the moment.
In the pit of the night you used to pull me so close
And then you'd hold me so tight
And in the wink of an eye you used to give me it all
And with a kiss in the darkness you'd deliver the
light
And in the pit of the night I hear you laughing so
loud
I know you're laughing at me
Oh ain't it funny and sad the way I fell for your lies
The way I fell into love and then I begged to be free
You gave me nothing at all, now let me give it to you
You taught me how to be cruel, now let me try it on
you
(Meatloaf, Kill you if you don't come back)
A bright light shone through the window and tickled
his nose. While the dizziness vanished a wave of pain
ran down his spine and filled his whole body with
agony. He moaned and a little later he felt a hand
under his head and a fluid against his lips. He
swallowed the foul tasting substance he recognized as
a healing potion. He had used quite a few back last
year, when they had fought the Death Eaters on
Hogwarts' grounds. Unable to storm the castle they had
eventually left, or at least the living part of them,
not including Peter Pettigrew. The trial he had never
had had been hold and the judges had found him not
guilty in all cases. Since he was free, he had spent
the summer with his godson Harry at his new house in
London.
When Harry had returned to Hogwarts for his last year,
Sirius had been offered the position of the
DADA-teacher, but he had declined and taken his old
job back as an auror for the Ministry of Magic. When
the last session of the trial had been finished and he
had his whole belongings back, including the Black
fortune at Gringotts, he had spent the day in
Wizarding-London, when someone had knocked him out.
The last thing he remembered was waking up in a dirty,
dark cell, his only company a few rats. One time a
day, as he assumed, since he didn't have a watch or
his wand, a man in dark robes came and brought him
food and water. He never got an answer to his
questions from the Death Eater. Then, one day, three
men had shown up, from which he recognized his keeper,
the Dark Lord himself, which had sent down shivers
down his spine and another man. His eyes had shown
cold and black through the holes in the white mask –
Snape.
Suddenly younger memories invaded his brain, memories
of hurt, pain, agonizing pain in his abdomen and a
cold laughter from Riddle and the other Death Eater,
mixed with his own screams and moans of pleasure from
behind him. NO!
His eyes flew open in horror, when he felt the
numbness in his lower body. It was easy to count one
and one together: on one hand the numbness and the
white ceiling of the hospital wing, on the other hand
the dizzy memories, only pictures without connection
and sounds - noises of pain and pleasure, lost dignity
and the bursting laughter of the Death Eaters…
"No..."
His voice was weak, when he blinked. A white bearded
face hovered over him, a sorrowful look on the
wrinkled features. He recognized the headmaster and
closed his eyes again.
He was safe now.
Down in the dungeon, Severus Snape paced his office;
his thoughts fixed on the deep hatred inside him, not
for Black, surely not, but for his old Master. How he
ever had been able to join him was a riddle to Snape,
how he could have believed all the lies about love,
acceptance, power, security and a better future, but
after a time had crawled back to Dumbledore and begged
for forgiveness. Albus had granted him mercy and from
that moment he had been a spy for the light. Riddle
had not had a clue of his treachery until last year,
when he had ordered Snape to weaken the wards around
Hogwarts. He had strengthened them instead and
pretended Dumbledore had found the wards low and made
it himself. But then that rat Pettigrew had found
traces of his magic and reported to his Lord.
Well, it didn't matter anymore, since his career as a
spy had come to an end. Severus had been happy to end
the charade, but now other problems had occurred that
ripped his heat in two and burned deeper than most
knew.
Albus had talked to him after he had woken up in the
infirmary, but it didn't ease his pain much. When he
had joined the Dark Lord his boyfriend had been
pregnant. Unfortunately he had made a mistake and was
punished with the Cruciatus, what had led him to loose
the baby and soon later he had taken his own life as
well to escape the cruelty of life.
After that Severus had turned his back to his Lord,
his family and his friends and began to teach at
Hogwarts under the direct eye of Albus Dumbledore, the
most powerful, wise, determined and kindest wizard
ever, though he was an old, manipulative coot.
He stopped pacing in front of the fireplace. He took
a deep breath, before he threw some Floo-powder into
the fire, before he said: "Headmaster's office!" and
stepped into the green flames. He ignored the swirling
inside his stomach and stepped gracefully out of the
fireplace. The headmaster looked at him, before he
finished the letter on his desk.
"Ah, Severus. I assume it's about the incident from
yesterday?"
"Yes, Albus."
"So, my dear boy, what can I do for you?"
"Besides from killing Riddle and listen to me, not
much."
"I can't kill Voldemort or I'd have done it long ago,
but I'll listen."
"It's about the baby."
"Ah, yes. I thought you'd want to talk about that."
"It's not THAT, Albus, it's only an innocent child."
"Completely right."
"Will Black keep it?"
"He has no choice. We talked this morning and the only
way to abort the child would make him loose his own
magic as well, so he'll have to keep it, yes."
"But he didn't want to. Does he know about me, by the
way?"
"I didn't tell him jet. And I would phrase it
different: he was slightly disgusted, but he doesn't
blame the child for anything, so he'd keep it anyway."
"He will raise it himself?"
"Yes, he said as much."
"I see."
"And?"
"It's mine as well."
"So you'll claim father-ship?"
"Yes, it's my child, not only his."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I suppose I have to talk to black first."
"I'd advise that."
"Stop being so calm. You know it's a sensitive spot
for me!"
"I know, Severus. We'll keep both of them safe."
"Good."
"He's awake. You can talk to him, but please be
gentle. The whole - procedure - is hard on him. He's a
little shy to any kind of touch and so on."
"I wish I could have prevented it."
"I know, Severus. He'll understand."
"Are you sure. He'll bite my head off when he gets to
know the truth."
"You have to tell him yourself. It's the highest
chance he won't freak out."
Severus nodded absentmindedly and left the office
through the door, heading for the hospital wing. He
wouldn't admit it, but he was more afraid of Black
that of Voldemort at the moment.