Chapter 3 - Out With the New, In With the Old

(...somewhere...the next day...)

"I can't see anything."

"Well, that's the idea."

Lila, her sight impaired by a blindfold, was being led by Arnold to an unknown location. She was surprised when they stopped.

"We're here."

"Where is 'here'?"

Arnold takes off her blindfold and Lila is quite taken with what she sees.

"Oh, Arnold, it's beautiful."

Her eyes took in the sight of a very nice looking house.

"You really like it? I mean, it's not too small or anything?"

"No, I think it's great."

The house was a typical home in suburbia. Lila hadn't lived in a house since she was a child growing up on a farm. The majority of her life was spent in apartments, whether it was with her father, attending college or during her years as a stage actress. Living in a house again was something she wanted for a long time.

"You wanna know something, Lila."

"What?"

"I designed this house."

Lila threw her arms around Arnold and kissed him, obviously pleased with the end product.

"I love you."

In a car parked across the street, through a pair of binoculars, Helga could see the couple's loving embrace, which made her upset.

(...in the house...over the next few hours...)

The house was not yet furnished, so there was a lot of empty space inside. Lila danced about the living room, still quite happy with her gift. She walked through the house, looking in the rooms and seeing how nice, though empty, they were. She finally went down the stairs where she was met by Arnold.

"I still can't believe it. A great house. A great guy. A great life."

Lila fell into his arms.

"This is like a beautiful dream. I never want this to end."

"This has to end!"

(...a room...that night...)

With books of all kinds on a shelf and papers strewn about, this is most likely the room of someone who likes to write.

"This is my fairy tale, damnit! I'm the princess."

Helga is at a table writing something.

"I think it's time for a re-write", she said before laughing in the same diabolical manner as when she executed these schemes as a kid.

(...Lila's house...the following day...)

Lila is sitting in a lawn chair in her backyard. Wearing a t-shirt and shorts, she looks very relaxed.

Just then, Arnold opens the sliding door and walks out with a bunch of scripts.

"These came for you in the mail, today."

He sets them down beside her.

"Thank you."

She picks one up and starts looking through it.

"Hmmm..."

(...the street...an hour later...)

Helga is walking down a street with houses on either side. In her hand, she's clutching a pair of sealed envelopes.

"These letters are just the thing to break up Lila's little relationship with my beloved."

She continues walking and soon trips on the street, dropping the letters. As she tries to get them, a breeze picks them off the ground and carries them through the air.

"Hey, come back with my letters!"

As Helga gives chase after the envelopes, she stops and thinks.

"Did I just say that out loud?!"

She resumes the chase as the letters continue to fly above.

(...Lila's house...twenty minutes later...)

Lila is just finishing up a script. She puts it on a pile of about four beside her. In straightening up the scripts so that they don't fall over, she doesn't notice the sealed envelope that falls onto the pile of unread ones.

She reaches over for a script, but instead grabs the letter. She opens the envelope and a shocked look gradually crosses her face as she reads the content:

Lila,

You don't honestly think that you deserve all of this, do you? You may think you do, but let's be honest: you're not that pretty, you're not that interesting and you're not that talented. It will be a good day for both of us when you finally wake up and realize that this good life is based on a solid foundation of pity. Outside of that, I don't know what I ever saw in you.

Arnold

After wiping the tears from her eyes, Lila storms into the house.

(...Arnold's office...about the same time...)

Arnold is designing a new project. As he erases a mistake, he drops his pencil. Just as he picks it up, the other envelope flies through his open window, landing just off his desk.

Arnold sits back up and continues his work when he notices a sealed envelope balancing on the edge of his desk. He catches it just as it falls off and opens it. His stunned look nearly says more than words could:

Arnold,

I never got a chance to adequately thank you for giving me this house, and by 'thank', I mean 'ridicule'. Haven't you learned anything about us movie stars? We demand the biggest and the best. This house is too small...and ugly, which brings me back to you. With that head of yours, you should be in sports. The NFL is always looking for extra balls.

Lila

Arnold, now looking quite angry, races out of the room. The couple end up meeting at the foot of the stairs.

"And here, I thought you loved this place."

"Don't change the subject. How could you think I'm untalented?"

"You want 'the biggest and the best', huh?"

"'...foundation of pity'?!"

The couple's voices soon overlap as they continue recounting their letters, ultimately leading to a simultaneous outburst of:

"How could you write this?!"

Arnold and Lila go to the living room and sit on the couch.

"Now, let's think about this, Lila. Do either of us hate each other so much that we'd write these nasty letters to each other? I mean, if we had a problem with each other, wouldn't we come right out and say so?"

"I guess."

"Like if I told you that your politeful cheeriness gets a little overbearing at times."

"Yeah..."

"Or if you tend to overuse the phrase 'ever so'..."

"Arnold, I haven't said 'ever so' since the 6th grade."

"Sorry. It's just that I needed to get it off my chest."

"Well, how about you and your need to help people? I mean, wouldn't they eventually find their own way?"

"Excuse me for trying to be a good samaritan!"

"You're excused."

Arnold walks up the stairs.

"Y'know, that's so funny, I forgot to laugh."

"Where are you going?"

"It's going to be a little chilly, tonight. You might need a jacket."

"What for? I'm not going anywhere."

Arnold comes down the stairs with a pair of suitcases filled with Lila's clothing. She soon puts two and two together.

"You can't throw me out. This is my house!"

"Actually, this is my house. It was my gift to you that I'm now taking back."

Arnold gives Lila the luggage and shuffles her to the door.

"Goodbye, Lila."

"But..."

The door slams in Lila's face.

(...a park bench...later that day...)

Arnold is sitting alone on a bench. Just then, he spots a mane of blonde hair at a far off bench. He heads toward it and finds Helga sitting there. Helga is somewhat surprised to see Arnold.

"What a small world this is."

"Hi, Helga. Can I have a seat?"

"Free country."

Arnold sits down.

"So, what have you been up to?"

"Well, I have my own architecture business. It's pretty successful. And yourself?"

"I'm a writer. Got a good career going."

"That's nice."

A long pause follows as the two think about what to talk about.

"So, are you seeing anyone?"

"Well, there was this one girl. An actress. We broke up, recently."

"Really?", she responded, trying hard to hide her growing elation.

"Yeah. I liked her a lot, but I guess, in the end, we weren't that good a fit."

"That's too bad."

"Helga...?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever thought about giving us another try, you know, now that you're successful?"

Helga jumped on Arnold smothering him with kisses. Her answer was clear.