AN: First things first, I'm sorry I haven't updated this sooner, I really meant to.
LoonyLoopyLisa: Thank you so much, that's such a great compliment for me...It's things like that I live for.
Alexia: Thank you.
Emerald Jade2: I always wondered, too, and after seeing one done for a different fandom I read, I decided to give it a shot.
IceDragon'08: From what I understand, they aren't very common at all.
orligurl88: That is a really great idea...I should try it, once I finish with the current story arc...I'd say that it will probably come up in a chapter or two. In fact, let's stick the 'seeds of discord' in here...one point to your House if you can find it, because I daresay it's not that hard!
Mystical Witch: I didn't expect for anyone to pick up on that, but there are a lot of characters I haven't brought in yet...Draco's one of them, but just you wait...and Cho, have I got plans for her... *sniggers madly* (I hate Cho, just for everyone's reference...)
Winter Solstice1: Thank you so much! I love your work and for you to be reading - reviewing - and above all, complimenting my work, like that, makes me happy beyond belief!
Electryone: You're another author who I admire greatly...your compliment means a lot to me. And Remus and Lockhart, yes, it's actually a fanfic, which I ought to credit the author for...It's full of odd pairings, Minerva and Severus one of them also, it's actually got the potential to be quite disturbing if you look at it in the wrong way; it's called 'Behind Closed Doors', by Veresna Ussep and it's on FFN.
Lina Shay: Yup, leading to a second chapter...and here it is!
FANFICTION LOUNGE, HARRY POTTER
"To properly counteract the effects of the boomslang skin, you NEED to add centaur hoof clippings!" Hermione insisted, bursting into the large hall.
Two little girls hung off of her neck, and she was nearly bent all the way over with their weight.
"Who are THEY?" Ron gasped. "Don't tell me...they're your kids?" he asked in horror, and Hermione rolled her eyes at him.
"A tragic mistake, I assure you," Severus said drily, following her in. "The little animals destroyed half my storeroom!"
"Come on, Severus, you're not still sore about THAT, are you?" Hermione asked with a sigh. "Really, you've only got three hundred other storerooms lined up in all the other fanfics."
"THIS one had dragon's scale in it!" whined the Potions Master. "Thirteen different varieties!"
"Honestly, Snivellus," interjected Black, "you're filthy rich in half your fics, go steal some galleons!"
"Heaven knows we could all use some, especially with the wages they're paying us," Minerva agreed with a small 'humph'.
Severus, however, was not paying attention to the Deputy Headmistress. "Anyway, if you added centaur hoof clippings, you would need fish-eye as well," he asserted.
"Fish-eye? Eewww!" one of the little girls around Hermione's neck announced loudly, and Poppy Pomfrey was suddenly in existence once more as she ran to them to coo over them and make little faces at them.
Their father sighed exasperatedly. "I need to renegotiate the terms of my contract!" he announced. "What happened to the no-Snape-children clause?"
Hermione sniffed, offended. "Why d'you think I'm unmarried?" she glared at him.
"Come, come, love, it's not that bad. Surely you could think of better candidates for your husband than that greasy git!" Ron said, approaching her and circling her shoulders with his right arm.
"Hi Uncle Ron!" the girl (the one not currently getting her cheeks pinched by Poppy, that is) pulled her hand back sharply, letting go of Hermione's neck and setting her mother slighly off balance as she did so. Her grubby little hand smacked Poppy in the face, then whipped forward quickly and slapped 'Uncle Ron' across the face.
"You were right, Mummy!" she exclaimed. "That WAS fun! Can I do it again?" Without waiting for an answer, the girl pulled her arm back again (smacking Poppy again) and slapped 'Uncle Ron' again.
"No, Alice!" Hermione shrieked, apologising profusely to Ron as she lightly tapped the girl on the hand to reprimand her. "You are not to slap your Uncle Ron!"
Severus simply looked on in undisguised pleasure.
"Thank you, Alice," he said smoothly, ignoring Hermione's glare, which had intensified to a full-on, Level-16 Death Glare (TM). "I have wanted to do that to Mr. Weasley for a long time."
"You're welcome, Daddy. It's fun! Wanna try?"
"Alice!"
"I would, but your mother would never forgive me."
"I would, but it would take veery good behaviour," Hermione replied coyly, as Ron keeled over gagging just as Alice's hand was about to make contact with his cheek for the third time.
"Sorry, Daddy, I missed!" Alice exclaimed. "The nice lady said that it's time to go bye-bye," she added. "But she says she's planning a snee-kel."
"A WHAT?"
"A...A snee-kel," said Alice carefully. "With my first...bye-fren-ed."
"A snee-kel with your first bye-fren-ed?" Severus repeated.
"She says he's going to be a Huff-nel-poof!" Alice bounced happily, causing Hermione to choke every time Alice pulled down. "What's a Huff-nel-poof, Daddy?"
"I...uh..."
Ron, surprisingly, was the first to get it.
"A Hufflepuff!" he started to laugh uncontrollably, hanging onto Harry.
Albus, too, began to chuckle. "A Hufflepuff boyfriend...how fitting," he said, amused, his blue eyes on their Full Twinkle (c) setting.
Severus collapsed into catatonia on the floor, muttering, "daughter...Hufflepuff...boyfriend" over and over again, like a mantra. But slightly less comforting.
"She says she's going to Sort me into Huff-nel-poof, too," added Alice cheerfully.
Severus came to just long enough to glare at Hermione, as if it was her fault, and faint again.
"She says it's going to be your fault. She says, your jeans, your fault. Daddy, what do your pants have to do with Huff-nel-poof?"
He bolted straight upright and jumped to his feet, beginning to pace the room, stopping only long enough to occasionally hit his head against something. Hard. After a few moments, a large ditch appeared in the floor and he looked around in desperation. "My life is over!"
Suddenly, the little children around Hermione's neck popped out of existence and she flew backwards towards the wall, before six wands were drawn, and six different levitating, cushioning and freezing spells were hurled at her.
As a result, Hermione's cheeks got pinched and arms pinned to her sides, the experience of her being squished from all sides due to a rather enthusiastic cushioning charm, her lips turned blue due to a freezing charm with a bit too much power behind it, and her head bumped the ceiling violently due to three levitation charms.
"Sorry, 'Mione," came about four different voices, as she landed on the ground, shivering and rubbing her head.
"That's it," she mumbled. "I'm going to go pull this week's fic listings." She headed up previously unnoticed stairs and disappeared, just as a large fight erupted.
"Not my fault!" Ron shouted. "I don't have that sort of power!"
"I would never lose control of my magic like that," Albus contributed.
"Foolish wand-waving," muttered Severus, pacing the room, the ditch growing larger with each passing moment.
"My magic's supposed to be good, not evil!" Harry complained loudly.
"My boy would never hurt his girlfriend like that!" James asserted, just as loudly.
"POTTER'S girlfriend?" Severus exploded.
"Really, don't you READ the Daily Prophet?" Rita Skeeter demanded, entering with her Dict-O-Quill at the ready.
"Remember what happened last time-" Ron warned her.
"I didn't think I was that strong," Lily said quietly, just as Sirius clapped her on the back enthusiastically.
"Way to go, Evans!" he exclaimed, just as Minerva scratched her head thoughtfully.
"You think Miss Granger lost enough braincells to go for Mr. Black?" she inquired of Dumbledore and Lockhart, who was eager to flaunt off his newly acquired skill of Apparition and had popped into the middle of the argument.
"Dunno... I'm sure she's retained enough to still appreciate my charm and obvious glamour," Lockhart smiled and turned his head proudly to the side, looking off into the distance as he entertained grandiose and totally false imaninings of his and Hermione's life together.
"I'd bet six bags of lemon drops she has," said Dumbledore.
"You're on!"
Meanwhile, Lupin wondered if Dumbledore had some sort of control for his Twink-Level (TM), and if so, was his TwinKKontroller (c) going into overdrive?
And if it was, then would Dumbledore's twinkly blue eyes explode?
Lupin rather hoped they wouldn't. He liked the Headmaster's sparkly eyes.
LoonyLoopyLisa: Thank you so much, that's such a great compliment for me...It's things like that I live for.
Alexia: Thank you.
Emerald Jade2: I always wondered, too, and after seeing one done for a different fandom I read, I decided to give it a shot.
IceDragon'08: From what I understand, they aren't very common at all.
orligurl88: That is a really great idea...I should try it, once I finish with the current story arc...I'd say that it will probably come up in a chapter or two. In fact, let's stick the 'seeds of discord' in here...one point to your House if you can find it, because I daresay it's not that hard!
Mystical Witch: I didn't expect for anyone to pick up on that, but there are a lot of characters I haven't brought in yet...Draco's one of them, but just you wait...and Cho, have I got plans for her... *sniggers madly* (I hate Cho, just for everyone's reference...)
Winter Solstice1: Thank you so much! I love your work and for you to be reading - reviewing - and above all, complimenting my work, like that, makes me happy beyond belief!
Electryone: You're another author who I admire greatly...your compliment means a lot to me. And Remus and Lockhart, yes, it's actually a fanfic, which I ought to credit the author for...It's full of odd pairings, Minerva and Severus one of them also, it's actually got the potential to be quite disturbing if you look at it in the wrong way; it's called 'Behind Closed Doors', by Veresna Ussep and it's on FFN.
Lina Shay: Yup, leading to a second chapter...and here it is!
FANFICTION LOUNGE, HARRY POTTER
"To properly counteract the effects of the boomslang skin, you NEED to add centaur hoof clippings!" Hermione insisted, bursting into the large hall.
Two little girls hung off of her neck, and she was nearly bent all the way over with their weight.
"Who are THEY?" Ron gasped. "Don't tell me...they're your kids?" he asked in horror, and Hermione rolled her eyes at him.
"A tragic mistake, I assure you," Severus said drily, following her in. "The little animals destroyed half my storeroom!"
"Come on, Severus, you're not still sore about THAT, are you?" Hermione asked with a sigh. "Really, you've only got three hundred other storerooms lined up in all the other fanfics."
"THIS one had dragon's scale in it!" whined the Potions Master. "Thirteen different varieties!"
"Honestly, Snivellus," interjected Black, "you're filthy rich in half your fics, go steal some galleons!"
"Heaven knows we could all use some, especially with the wages they're paying us," Minerva agreed with a small 'humph'.
Severus, however, was not paying attention to the Deputy Headmistress. "Anyway, if you added centaur hoof clippings, you would need fish-eye as well," he asserted.
"Fish-eye? Eewww!" one of the little girls around Hermione's neck announced loudly, and Poppy Pomfrey was suddenly in existence once more as she ran to them to coo over them and make little faces at them.
Their father sighed exasperatedly. "I need to renegotiate the terms of my contract!" he announced. "What happened to the no-Snape-children clause?"
Hermione sniffed, offended. "Why d'you think I'm unmarried?" she glared at him.
"Come, come, love, it's not that bad. Surely you could think of better candidates for your husband than that greasy git!" Ron said, approaching her and circling her shoulders with his right arm.
"Hi Uncle Ron!" the girl (the one not currently getting her cheeks pinched by Poppy, that is) pulled her hand back sharply, letting go of Hermione's neck and setting her mother slighly off balance as she did so. Her grubby little hand smacked Poppy in the face, then whipped forward quickly and slapped 'Uncle Ron' across the face.
"You were right, Mummy!" she exclaimed. "That WAS fun! Can I do it again?" Without waiting for an answer, the girl pulled her arm back again (smacking Poppy again) and slapped 'Uncle Ron' again.
"No, Alice!" Hermione shrieked, apologising profusely to Ron as she lightly tapped the girl on the hand to reprimand her. "You are not to slap your Uncle Ron!"
Severus simply looked on in undisguised pleasure.
"Thank you, Alice," he said smoothly, ignoring Hermione's glare, which had intensified to a full-on, Level-16 Death Glare (TM). "I have wanted to do that to Mr. Weasley for a long time."
"You're welcome, Daddy. It's fun! Wanna try?"
"Alice!"
"I would, but your mother would never forgive me."
"I would, but it would take veery good behaviour," Hermione replied coyly, as Ron keeled over gagging just as Alice's hand was about to make contact with his cheek for the third time.
"Sorry, Daddy, I missed!" Alice exclaimed. "The nice lady said that it's time to go bye-bye," she added. "But she says she's planning a snee-kel."
"A WHAT?"
"A...A snee-kel," said Alice carefully. "With my first...bye-fren-ed."
"A snee-kel with your first bye-fren-ed?" Severus repeated.
"She says he's going to be a Huff-nel-poof!" Alice bounced happily, causing Hermione to choke every time Alice pulled down. "What's a Huff-nel-poof, Daddy?"
"I...uh..."
Ron, surprisingly, was the first to get it.
"A Hufflepuff!" he started to laugh uncontrollably, hanging onto Harry.
Albus, too, began to chuckle. "A Hufflepuff boyfriend...how fitting," he said, amused, his blue eyes on their Full Twinkle (c) setting.
Severus collapsed into catatonia on the floor, muttering, "daughter...Hufflepuff...boyfriend" over and over again, like a mantra. But slightly less comforting.
"She says she's going to Sort me into Huff-nel-poof, too," added Alice cheerfully.
Severus came to just long enough to glare at Hermione, as if it was her fault, and faint again.
"She says it's going to be your fault. She says, your jeans, your fault. Daddy, what do your pants have to do with Huff-nel-poof?"
He bolted straight upright and jumped to his feet, beginning to pace the room, stopping only long enough to occasionally hit his head against something. Hard. After a few moments, a large ditch appeared in the floor and he looked around in desperation. "My life is over!"
Suddenly, the little children around Hermione's neck popped out of existence and she flew backwards towards the wall, before six wands were drawn, and six different levitating, cushioning and freezing spells were hurled at her.
As a result, Hermione's cheeks got pinched and arms pinned to her sides, the experience of her being squished from all sides due to a rather enthusiastic cushioning charm, her lips turned blue due to a freezing charm with a bit too much power behind it, and her head bumped the ceiling violently due to three levitation charms.
"Sorry, 'Mione," came about four different voices, as she landed on the ground, shivering and rubbing her head.
"That's it," she mumbled. "I'm going to go pull this week's fic listings." She headed up previously unnoticed stairs and disappeared, just as a large fight erupted.
"Not my fault!" Ron shouted. "I don't have that sort of power!"
"I would never lose control of my magic like that," Albus contributed.
"Foolish wand-waving," muttered Severus, pacing the room, the ditch growing larger with each passing moment.
"My magic's supposed to be good, not evil!" Harry complained loudly.
"My boy would never hurt his girlfriend like that!" James asserted, just as loudly.
"POTTER'S girlfriend?" Severus exploded.
"Really, don't you READ the Daily Prophet?" Rita Skeeter demanded, entering with her Dict-O-Quill at the ready.
"Remember what happened last time-" Ron warned her.
"I didn't think I was that strong," Lily said quietly, just as Sirius clapped her on the back enthusiastically.
"Way to go, Evans!" he exclaimed, just as Minerva scratched her head thoughtfully.
"You think Miss Granger lost enough braincells to go for Mr. Black?" she inquired of Dumbledore and Lockhart, who was eager to flaunt off his newly acquired skill of Apparition and had popped into the middle of the argument.
"Dunno... I'm sure she's retained enough to still appreciate my charm and obvious glamour," Lockhart smiled and turned his head proudly to the side, looking off into the distance as he entertained grandiose and totally false imaninings of his and Hermione's life together.
"I'd bet six bags of lemon drops she has," said Dumbledore.
"You're on!"
Meanwhile, Lupin wondered if Dumbledore had some sort of control for his Twink-Level (TM), and if so, was his TwinKKontroller (c) going into overdrive?
And if it was, then would Dumbledore's twinkly blue eyes explode?
Lupin rather hoped they wouldn't. He liked the Headmaster's sparkly eyes.