To Myself by: Autumn 5 Angel
Chapter 3 - Pink Lemonade
When I got home from school that day, my mother still wasn't home. I wasn't surprised, I didn't expect her to be, but some part of me wished she could be there. Setting my bad down at the kitchen table, I went to the fridge to see what snack it held for me. Frowning at the usual empty shelves, we had nothing but peanut butter and bottles of water in the fridge. I grimaced. That seemed as if that was all we ever ate. Taking a bottle of water, I searched the cabinets. Finding nothing but a loaf of bread and some diet pills my mother took, I decided to just drink the water and head upstairs to do some of my long awaited homework.
I sat down on my quilted bed and leaned over, turning on the radio. I grinned when one of my favorite songs, She Loves You, by The Beatles, came on and I bobbed my head to the music, singing softly, trying to work out some of the equations.
Two hours later, and almost four more water bottles, I finally finished my homework. I glanced at the clock which read 5:45. Just as I was putting my hair up into a pink ribbon, and was slipping into a yellow and pink summer dress, I heard the door open. I figured it was my mother so I rushed downstairs, glancing briefly in the mirror.
When I saw her sitting there at the table, her hands resting on her large, pregnant belly, smoking a cigarette I grinned. I missed her, I hadn't seen her in almost two days.
"Hi Mom," I said, sitting down beside her.
She looked at me with her startling aqua eyes. "What are you wearing?" She asked without any emotion in her voice.
I looked down at my pink and yellow summer dress and frowned. "What's wrong with it? You bought it for me?"
My mother looked at me again, took a long draw from her smoke, then exhaled deeply, causing me to cough from inhaling the smoke.
"I wish you wouldn't do that. It's unhealthy for us and the baby."
"I wish you wouldn't wear that. It's ugly, and it makes you look terribly fat."
I studied myself self consciously. "I don't have anything else to wear right now. I forgot to do laundry last night."
My mother put out her cigarette and glared at me. "You're too fucking lazy that's why."
I flinched. "I have to be going now. I'm meeting some people."
She glared at me. "Fuck you. Go. I don't want you here anyway. Leave now. And don't come back until after I'm asleep."
I felt my face stinging. She was being so cruel to me for no reason. I got up from the table and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me. As soon as I got out of the house I sank to the ground, my back against my tree, trembling and crying. I didn't see Chris or Gordie come up to me.
"Hey," Chris said. I looked up, quickly wiping away my tears. "You okay?"
I nodded, stood up, and began to walk with them. "Where are we going?"
"Come on, follow me," Gordie said. We walked down some more streets until we came into a large open field.
The sun was just setting, and as Gordie, Chris and I stood there looking out into the open field, the early summer humidity entrancing us, the sight was breathtaking. The blue sky was streaked with pink, giving everything around us a fairy tale like glow. A few butterflies danced around us, crickets sang their song, cicada bugs buzzing around us. I wished the moment would last forever. It felt like nothing could harm me, nothing at all. It was so beautiful. I don't know how long we were there, but when the last pink glimmer was gone, I exhaled softly.
"That was beautiful," I whispered, not wanting to taint the beautiful moment.
"I know," Chris whispered. Gordie nodded. Sighing, I turned around facing them. Chris grinned at me.
"What?" I asked feeling self conscious.
"You look like pink lemonade."
"Oh, um, okay." I just shook my head slightly, laughing, as Gordie, Chris and I sat there, talking late into the night. I felt completely at peace with the world.
Chapter 3 - Pink Lemonade
When I got home from school that day, my mother still wasn't home. I wasn't surprised, I didn't expect her to be, but some part of me wished she could be there. Setting my bad down at the kitchen table, I went to the fridge to see what snack it held for me. Frowning at the usual empty shelves, we had nothing but peanut butter and bottles of water in the fridge. I grimaced. That seemed as if that was all we ever ate. Taking a bottle of water, I searched the cabinets. Finding nothing but a loaf of bread and some diet pills my mother took, I decided to just drink the water and head upstairs to do some of my long awaited homework.
I sat down on my quilted bed and leaned over, turning on the radio. I grinned when one of my favorite songs, She Loves You, by The Beatles, came on and I bobbed my head to the music, singing softly, trying to work out some of the equations.
Two hours later, and almost four more water bottles, I finally finished my homework. I glanced at the clock which read 5:45. Just as I was putting my hair up into a pink ribbon, and was slipping into a yellow and pink summer dress, I heard the door open. I figured it was my mother so I rushed downstairs, glancing briefly in the mirror.
When I saw her sitting there at the table, her hands resting on her large, pregnant belly, smoking a cigarette I grinned. I missed her, I hadn't seen her in almost two days.
"Hi Mom," I said, sitting down beside her.
She looked at me with her startling aqua eyes. "What are you wearing?" She asked without any emotion in her voice.
I looked down at my pink and yellow summer dress and frowned. "What's wrong with it? You bought it for me?"
My mother looked at me again, took a long draw from her smoke, then exhaled deeply, causing me to cough from inhaling the smoke.
"I wish you wouldn't do that. It's unhealthy for us and the baby."
"I wish you wouldn't wear that. It's ugly, and it makes you look terribly fat."
I studied myself self consciously. "I don't have anything else to wear right now. I forgot to do laundry last night."
My mother put out her cigarette and glared at me. "You're too fucking lazy that's why."
I flinched. "I have to be going now. I'm meeting some people."
She glared at me. "Fuck you. Go. I don't want you here anyway. Leave now. And don't come back until after I'm asleep."
I felt my face stinging. She was being so cruel to me for no reason. I got up from the table and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me. As soon as I got out of the house I sank to the ground, my back against my tree, trembling and crying. I didn't see Chris or Gordie come up to me.
"Hey," Chris said. I looked up, quickly wiping away my tears. "You okay?"
I nodded, stood up, and began to walk with them. "Where are we going?"
"Come on, follow me," Gordie said. We walked down some more streets until we came into a large open field.
The sun was just setting, and as Gordie, Chris and I stood there looking out into the open field, the early summer humidity entrancing us, the sight was breathtaking. The blue sky was streaked with pink, giving everything around us a fairy tale like glow. A few butterflies danced around us, crickets sang their song, cicada bugs buzzing around us. I wished the moment would last forever. It felt like nothing could harm me, nothing at all. It was so beautiful. I don't know how long we were there, but when the last pink glimmer was gone, I exhaled softly.
"That was beautiful," I whispered, not wanting to taint the beautiful moment.
"I know," Chris whispered. Gordie nodded. Sighing, I turned around facing them. Chris grinned at me.
"What?" I asked feeling self conscious.
"You look like pink lemonade."
"Oh, um, okay." I just shook my head slightly, laughing, as Gordie, Chris and I sat there, talking late into the night. I felt completely at peace with the world.