AN: Eeee, arigatou minna-san for the luffly, incredible reviews =) *bounces around in joy* But first of all, I hope you all did read the warning from the last chapter X_x Other than that, I have nuffin more to say, so carry on and R+R ^^
Disclaimer: CCS doesn't belong to me, it belongs to CLAMP =(
Chapter Two: Chimera
Like I said, it was spring and I was turning sixteen when it all happened. I don't know why I had let it happen, I don't know why I didn't see it coming. But turning sixteen wasn't really the beginning of the end. It was earlier than that. Much earlier.
In fact, I was only seven.
I grabbed my pencil case from my desk, shoving it into my small pink bag before running downstairs with a wide grin plastered on my small, round face. I hurried into the kitchen, smelling the sweet aroma of freshly made pancakes. This was a typical morning in the Kinomoto household. I wondered where my stupid, annoying brother was. If I wasn't careful, he might jump out at me and wave a plastic spider in my face. Though he's done that many times, I still get tricked every single time he does it.
"Ohayo otou-san!" I greeted cheerfully as I plopped myself into my seat opposite of my onii-chan. He was already sitting there with a smirk on his face, as if he knew something I didn't. I stuck my tongue out at him and mumbled, "Ohayo onii-chan."
He grunts in reply, sticking his fork into his sausage before smirking at me with that scary gleam in his eyes. "Kaijuu, you're early."
"I'm not a kaijuu!!" I growled, wanting to cry, but suddenly beamed with pride. "Hai! I'm early! I used the beepy clock today! Otou-san taught me how to use it! Do you know how to use beepy clocks? I betcha don't!"
Touya Kinomoto, my brother, choked on his sausage and starting laughing. "Ha! Beepy clocks! They're called alarm clocks you dumb kaijuu."
I frowned, biting my bottom lip and shooting daggers at my stupid onii-chan. "Mou! Alarm clock or whatever, it still beeps!"
"Children, please, that's enough," my daddy's calm voice said in amusement. "If you two don't stop bickering you'll both be late for school."
Touya gave me another satisfied look and said haughtily, "I don't have to get otou-san to drive me to school, I can bike to school, unlike you who has to go in the car. I guess bikes can't stand the weight of a kaijuu."
"Onii-chan!!" I growled and slammed my foot onto his from beneath the dining table. I gave a satisfied grin as he howled in pain, causing otou-san to give us both stern looks before taking a bite from his perfectly round pancake. When I grew up, I was going to make pancakes just like otou-san! Perfect and round! That would show onii-chan that I'm was not a stupid, evil, worthless--
"Well, I'm going," Touya pushed back his chair and stretched in his baggy t-shirt. "Ja, otou-san."
"Be careful," Fujitaka reminded.
I stuffed my last pancake into my mouth and left half of my sausage on my plate. "I want to go with onii-chan too! I want to bike! Can I, otou-san?"
"Later, Sakura-chan," Daddy answered as he stacked my plate on top of Touya's. "You don't know how to bike and you have to get to school. You can get Touya-kun to teach you after school."
"Demo, he'll never want to teach me! Plus, he's always with his friends after school," I pouted, looking hopeful at my daddy, but he still shook his head and ruffled my already messy auburn hair.
"Go get your shoes on and I'll be at the door in a minute," he said and hurried into the kitchen with the breakfast plates.
I could hear him dump them into the sink and turn on the tap as I marched towards the front door. Oh well, I thought, I'll learn someday and I'll race onii-chan to school and beat him! The image brought another huge smile to my face as I bent down to put on my sneakers. I didn't like shoelaces, but everyone had shoelaces on their shoes...I would rather have velcro straps but no body seemed to wear them.
"Hayaku otou-san!! I want to go to school and tell Tomoyo-chan about my beepy clock!" I called out impatiently as I saw my daddy come around the corner with his jacket in one hand. I opened the door as he put on his leather shoes. "Tomoyo-chan says her okaa-san got her a special box! It shoots light out when you press a button!" I told my daddy in excitement as we walked towards the car.
"Oh? A box that shoots out light?" My daddy mused and chuckled. "I think you mean a camera, Sakura-chan."
I repeated the word in my head and smiled as I got into the backseat. "Ca-mee-ra..."
The ride to school would always take three minutes. I wondered how long it would take onii-chan to get to his school right next to mine. He's already in his second year of high school (ninth grade), and he tells me that they have things called lockers and if you don't ask them politely before you open them, they'll eat you right up. I really don't want to go to high school. It sounds very dangerous.
But that's far away, I'm only in second grade, attending Tomoeda Elementary School. I didn't have to worry anytime soon...
"Sakura-chan?"
"Hoe?" I blinked confusedly at my daddy.
He smiled at me, "We're here. Daydreaming, are we?"
I blushed and shook my head, "Iie! I was thinking! You told me thinking was a good thing."
"It is, it is," Fujitaka replied and nodded his head towards the school. "Hurry up now Sakura-chan, you'll be late before you know it."
"Hai, hai, ja otou-san!" I waved as I hopped out of the car and watched it drive out of sight. I dropped my hand and ran into the school building, frantic that I could very well be late. As I rounded the corner of the hall, I felt something squishy come right at me, causing me to fall back and drop my lunch bag. "HOE!!!"
"Argh!" I heard another voice mutter as I got up, peering curiously at the fallen figure in front of me. At last, the figure got up and looked at me with the same curiosity in his wide brown eyes. I blinked and he blinked, and we blinked together.
"Gomen-nasai!" I apologized and stopped the blinking contest. "I didn't watch where I was going."
The boy with the brown eyes and messy brown hair scratched his head as if not knowing what to say. "Er, um, oh. Whatever. It's ok," he finally managed to say and hurriedly picked up a scrap of paper on the ground.
I looked at it curiously, "Neh? You don't look familiar, are you new?"
The boy seemed to be reading whatever was on that paper with deep concentration as he peered at the long hallway we were standing in. "Uh, yeah," he mumbled and looked at the paper again.
I smiled and took the paper from him, scanning it quickly. "Oh! You're in the same class as me! What are you doing in this hallway?"
The boy frowned, "Why are you in this hallway then?"
"I just came in," I explained cheerfully and glanced at the clock, "Hoee!!! We better hurry or else we'll be late! And you're new, you won't want Miss Aihara to think your a bad kid just because you're late for your first day here."
The boy simply nodded as I turned around to continue down the hallway. I was humming a tune Touya always played on the piano at home until I heard a squeal and an 'oof' come from behind me. Turning around, I saw the boy sprawled on the ground again, but this time a girl was on his back and looking like she was ready to murder. "Hoee!! Who are you?!"
The girl seemed to finally notice me as she glanced up with fiery red eyes. I stepped back in fright because she really did look mean.
"Who are you!?" The girl demanded and jumped off the poor boy's back and walked right up to me. "Were you doing anything to my Xiao Lang?!"
"Whaaa?" I was very confused and the girl seemed to not notice my confusion. "I...I was just going to show him where our classroom is. He was lost, I think, and--"
The girl crossed her arms, her pigtails swinging wildly. "Xiao Lang wouldn't get lost! He's smart! And we don't need your help to find a silly classroom! That's as easy as twelve times six!"
I listened in awe, "Sugoi!! You know what twelve times six is?"
The girl backed up and looked smug, "Of course! Don't you know what the answer is?"
"...No," I mumbled but hastily added, "Demo, I know how to do kart wheels!"
The girl rolled her eyes, "So can I."
"Oh..."
"Meiling, let's go, we'll be late," the boy muttered and walked on ahead. He turned to look over his shoulder, "Um, we walk this way right?"
I nodded and smiled, "Hai, we better hur--"
Just then the bell rang, causing all three of us to jump up in shock and scurry down the hallway as fast as our feet could carry us. Somehow, without me leading the way, we still ended up in the right classroom with Miss Aihara looking at us strangely.
"Kinomoto, you're late."
I bowed my head sadly and hurried to my seat next to Tomoyo who was looking at me worriedly. As I sat down, she leaned over and whispered, "What happened Sakura-chan? Who are those people?" She looked at the boy and girl questioningly, and then back at me.
I shook my head, not knowing either. "The girl is kinda scary," I uttered and smiled," but the boy is ok. He just seems kind of...shy."
Tomoyo nodded as Miss Aihara wrote something down in her notebook. She always wrote stuff in her notebook and we never knew what she wrote. I suspected that she was writing about me being late again. Pooey, I was so sure I would've been on time today too! I sighed and dropped my bag at my feet.
"Class, settle down as I introduce our two new students from Hong Kong," Miss Aihara announced as she stood up from her desk, waving a hand towards the boy and the girl. The boy concentrated at the back wall of the classroom while the girl simply hung onto his arm. "Li Syaoran, and Li Meiling."
"Eh? Are they related?" Tomoyo whispered.
I shrugged and replied, "Let's go ask later!"
Tomoyo nodded in agreement as the boy, Li Syaoran, and the girl, Li Meiling, took their seats. It took me a while to realize that the boy sat right behind me and the girl sat behind Tomoyo. I turned around in my seat, causing the boy to jump up slightly.
"Gomen, I just wanted to offer to show you around the school at lunch," I said sheepishly and watched his eyes dart from my bangs to my eyes. He looked thoughtful before finally nodding.
"Sure."
"Mou! Xiao Lang! What did that girl just say to you?!" The girl named Meiling cried out loudly, causing the whole class to turn to her in surprise. She blushed and sank lower into her seat. "Sorry..."
Miss Aihara nodded awkwardly and told us to take out our math exercise books. I didn't like math, numbers were like a foreign language to me. Plus, math first thing in the morning was even worse! I let a groan escape my lips as we all flipped to page 56. It was a review page for all the addition and subtraction we had been doing for the past week. I let out a sigh of relief. At least it wasn't problem solving.
"This is easy," I heard Meiling-chan declare quite loudly.
Math was the slowest class of all that day. But finally, after Japanese and Spelling, the lunch bell rang. I cheered and picked up my lunch bag, turning around to see Li Syaoran doing the same. He pulled out a green case and a pair of chopsticks until he noticed me watching him. "Nani?"
"Oh, nothing! I was wondering if you're ready to go yet," I smiled brightly and looked at Tomoyo who was persuading Meiling-chan to come eat lunch with us. She seemed to agree very reluctantly, but I was determined to befriend her for some odd reason.
"Let's go eat outside!" I suggested as we hurried down the hall. "I know the best spot where the grass isn't too wet so we can sit there all we want without getting grass stains!"
They all followed me until we reach a nice flat spot of endless green grass. I hurried towards a spot under a tree and waved for the others to come and join me. Tomoyo was the fastest as Li-kun and Meiling-chan slinked behind. I heard Meiling mutter, "Do we have to eat lunch with them?", but I pretended I didn't hear.
"After lunch we can show you the playground," I said as I opened my lunch box.
Tomoyo shuffled through her lunch bag, pulling out something along with her lunch. "Sakura-chan! Remember I told you about the box with shooting light?! I brought it with me to school today!"
I was immediately interested as I quickly asked, "Honto ne?! Can we see it?"
Meiling raised an eyebrow, "A box with shooting light?"
Tomoyo looked impish and brought out a tiny box with strange windows and buttons. "My mommy said it was called a--"
"Camera!" I finished and grinned, "So what does it do Tomoyo?"
"I think if I press this button," Tomoyo placed her index finger on a small red button, "the light will come out and...um..."
"It's a camera where you take photos of people or things."
The three of us looked at Li-kun. "Hoe?"
He blinked in return and shrugged, "You know, photos. Pictures."
"Oooh...sugoi!!" I clapped my hands together and jumped in front of the camera. "Take a picture Tomoyo! And Li-kun, Meiling-chan, you guys can be in the picture too! And later we can swap so Tomoyo can be in a picture also!"
Tomoyo seemed as excited as me, but Li-kun and Meiling-chan seemed rather reluctant once again. I shook my head and grabbed them by the hand, pulling them in front of the camera. Yet they came at such a fast rate that I tumbled, causing them to trip over me and landing half on top of me and half on the grass just as a flash of light blinded me.
"Gomen!" We all blurted at the same time, with Tomoyo giggling in the background and Li-kun blushing for no reason at all.
"Sakura-chan, I think we can take more pictures later. We have to show them around the school," Tomoyo reminded me and I nodded, getting up but tripping again.
I looked down at my feet and groaned in dismay. My shoelaces were untied and that was one of the things I hated most about shoelaces. They would...untie themselves somehow. Well, no...to tell you the truth, the reason that I really did dislike shoelaces was because I didn't know how to tie them. I never wanted to tell anyone because onii-chan would probably laugh and everyone else too...
"Um, do you need help?"
I looked up to see those big brown eyes again and blushed, looking back down at my dirt-stained laces. "Um, I'm ok," I replied and attempted to tie my right shoe. I ended up with a knot of some sort, but at least it wasn't untied anymore!
With my right shoe done, I reached for my left shoe just as another pair of hands came down and expertly tied the lace in a perfect little bow, just like how otou-san and onii-chan's laces looked like. "You have to...tie it like this...and then loop it over there, and then tug it."
I looked up and watched Li-kun untie my right shoe and do another bow in slower motion. I nodded in understanding and smiled broadly, "Arigatou Li-kun!"
He seemed to turn pink as he stood back up and stuffed his hands into his khakis. "No problem..."
I was very, very happy though. Otou-san had taught me how to tie my shoelace many times, but I just pretended to know how because I didn't want to look stupid, especially with Touya around. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone else to teach me because everyone seemed to know how. Demo (but), Li-kun was the first person to voluntarily teach me and I knew, that no matter how shy or silent he seemed, he was a good person and he was going to be one of my good friends.
Yep, I simply knew it.
"Xiao Lang! Why are you helping her with her shoelace! She's not a baby!!" Meiling complained and snatched onto Li-kun's arm, pulling him towards the direction Tomoyo was in. "You never taught me how to tie my shoelace--"
Their voices trailed off as they got farther away, but I was still smiling at the back of Li Syaoran's head. I giggled and ran to catch up with them, knowing that if my shoelace were to untie itself again, I would know how to get it all tied up again.
And that was how I met one of the most important people in my life, Li Syaoran.
That was a long time ago though. Almost a decade, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. Li Syaoran became one of my best friends, as good as Tomoyo. Meiling was very rude and mean for the whole first month and a half, but something seemed to slowly change and she grew quieter and quieter by the day. In fact, she seemed very sad, and I would try to make her smile, but she would look away and grumble.
But that was the past, and now Li Syaoran and Li Meiling are gone. What does gone mean? Well, it means that they aren't here anymore. I don't get to see their smiles everyday, nor do I get to hear their laughter. I don't get to share their accomplishments, nor do I get to carry their pains.
They moved back to Hong Kong, when we were in sixth grade and only eleven. Those were one of the most heartbreaking days for me. It was hard, and it was painful. Meiling had become a wonderful friend, a friend who would tell me to never give up on anything. She would call me a dummy if I cried, so I wouldn't cry and would simply wave and tell her to write me when she got to Hong Kong.
And then there was parting with Li-kun. Syaoran-kun. Shaoran. Through the years, we had gone through many stages of friendship. I sometimes use the names I call him to distinguish the different stages. Li-kun, the basic, first step into the world of friendship. That time, he was still quite a quiet little boy, sometimes rude and cold to those that annoyed him. But of course, he was always kind and helpful towards me.
If I would fall, he would catch me.
Syaoran-kun. It took a while for him to let me call him by that name. Supposedly only his family members got to call him Syaoran-kun, but I suppose we were getting as close as family. How old was I then? I think I was eight, turning nine. I had a party at Penguin Park, with all my friends from school, and to me, that was a big deal. Naturally, being kids, we played hide-and-go-seek in the forest nearby the park. I guess I was either senseless or just plain stupid, but I went much too far and out of the boundaries Touya had made. After a while, no one came to find me.
That was when I heard his voice shouting above the chirping birds. But he didn't call me Kinomoto. No he didn't. He called me Sakura-chan with this frantic ring in his usually calm and composed voice. So I yelled back, and something else just seemed to dawn on me.
If I were to ever get lost, he would find me.
And finally, there was the faze of Shaoran. Well, that name didn't last that long. Even though I say with each name I had for Syaoran, means a different section of our internal friendship, Shaoran was the name I called him the day he left. Technically, I only got to call him that for one day. One day can't be a whole section of a friendship running for four years right? Well, strangely, it felt that way. That day he left, it felt like a whole new chapter.
It was 10:00 in the morning, and we were all in the airport. Tomoyo had a purse full of tissue ready for our use. Yes, Tomoyo was very prepared; with scented every colored tissue. But...I didn't use any of the tissue she brought. I didn't cry, but it was something more than crying. Syaoran had been...my other half through the years. The one who really was my pillar to lean on. My father told me that if you could find a friend like that in your entire lifetime, consider yourself extremely lucky.
And I found that friend. That friend was Li Syaoran. As his parting gift, I gave him a jar of paper stars, green ones. I don't know if I told him at that time or not, but I had written a little message in every star I made. A little something that he could remember our friendship with. And he, being my ichiban friend for many years, also gave me a jar of paper stars. Pink ones.
And you know what? He had written little messages in his too. But he didn't tell me, yet somehow I knew. When I think about it, it's rather scary. How close we were that we would know each other's habits, actions, and simply everything. And so it dawned on me:
If I were to die, he would die with me.
Extreme, yes? But at that particular moment when he was to leave my life forever, anything could come out of a eleven year old's mouth. And so, we decided that if Sakura Kinomoto was to live on earth for one day, Li Syaoran would too. If Sakura Kinomoto was to die that very day, Li Syaoran would too.
But all this can be summed up to just one simple phrase.
Best friends forever, Sakura and Syaoran.
Yet, let's fast forward to sixteen year old me. Now, let's do the math. The last time I had seen Li Syaoran in flesh was around five years ago. Five slow years. Five slow years of what?
Of nothing.
Li Syaoran simply vanished. No phone calls, no letters. No birthday presents, no Syaoran. Every letter I wrote, I got nothing but a mere dream that he would answer me someday. Every dream I had of him was of one where he returned and we would hit it off as if he had never left Tomoeda, Japan at all. But everything wasn't reality. Reality wasn't as pleasant as my fantasies. And so I fantasized.
But I slowly fell depressed when my fantasies faltered and faded. I would be genki for my friends because they would worry, especially Tomoyo. Tomyo and I became the closest friends possible ever since Syaoran decided to run away and have nothing to do with me. She was a sister to me, literally. She was the only one I would sometimes show my depression to. Yet, living life as if I were acting in a movie everyday began to take its toll on me.
I would have mood swings, not really knowing what I really felt anymore. Why did Syaoran's departure effect me so deeply? I didn't know what that feeling was. But after a while, I remembered something Syaoran told me before he left. When he would come back to Tomoeda, he expected to see a genki, normal, Kinomoto Sakura. The Kinomoto Sakura he knew.
I was thirteen when I finally came to my senses. Why was I wasting precious days and precious time mulling and sulking? I would make use of my life, I would be happy, and when Syaoran comes back, my fantasies will come true. The present was the present and the future would eventually come.
So I lived everyday as if I would die tomorrow. But of course, I would slack off now and then, just like any normal teenager. I learned how to make pancakes, perfect and round just like otou-san. I learned how to bike but realized that biking wasn't my thing; roller-blading was. I continued to make jars of paper stars when I felt lonely or simply bored on a Sunday afternoon.
I was a happy, healthy, normal girl. Sometimes I would even forget about Syaoran's departure. I had crushes, I went to movies, I did homework, I groaned at chores, I was me.
Isn't that normal enough? At first I was a pre-teen sulking over her bestest friend ever, finally realizing that I was being silly. Then came the Sakura who started finding who she was. But when I met him, I thought it would be a normal, healthy relationship.
I had the feelings for him, I had the daydreams and occasional dreams with his presence among them. It was very, truly, real. No more dreams, no more fantasies, because I had met my dream boyfriend.
Except I would have never known that I would rather dwell in my fantasies then live in the world of reality. I never knew that I would run away from the world I knew, not by choice, but by one simple big mistake.
So now you're going, what happened? What's the big mistake?
Well, let me tell you. My biggest mistake in my lifetime?
To have smiled at a certain boy who began all my nightmares that took over my fantasies.
AN: Hm, this is only the second chapter so obviously we're all still confused and everything ^^|| This chapter was to let you get a feel of what Sakura was like before uh, she met that certain boy. So who's this boy? Not Syaoran. Our dear Syaoran wouldn't be so evil to our dear Sakura...yesh yesh...Syaoran's the hero not z villain moohahahahahaha....hopefully I haven't lost you all already. Bah, stay with me! Stayyyy. Gah, I'm in a really weird mood. Getting high on tea ^o^!! Erm, yesh, I will go and calm meself now. Ta ta, R+R thankies =)