Chapter Two: Driving Me Mad!
The characters in this fic, by and large, do not belong to me. The X-Men, and related characters, are the property of Marvel Comics. GI Joe, and related characters, belong to Hasbro. The Delgado children (Althea, Brittany, Daria, Quinn, and Claudius), Xi, Sgt Snuffles, and the Eloi belong to Red Witch.
A/N: This chapter happens concurrently with Chapter One.
"Woo hoo!" Kitty crowed as she raced down to the front doors. "Obstacle course here I come!"
"Yay," Scott moaned. He hoped he wouldn't have to do this, but the Professor was busy, Storm had conveniently gone to visit her sister, Beast was God-knows-where, Logan was on a mission or something for the Professor, Remy was off on a date with Rogue, Peter couldn't be found, and Jean… told Scott he was cut off unless he did this.
"Can't a wounded guy catch a break?" Scott muttered. After all, it was only an hour ago that the pain went away- at least enough to permit most kinds of movement.
"Scott," a quiet, sheepish, English voice came from behind him. Elisabeth was standing there, looking greatly embarrassed.
"Look, about last night, I'm really, really sorry about what happened," she blushed as she said that for the umpteenth time since the accidental kick to his… Scott winced. He didn't even want to think about it. Note to self- wear a cup at all times.
"It's okay, really," he said. He just wanted to forget the whole thing. There was no lasting damage- Mr. McCoy assured him he'd still be able to have children, and he did finally manage to get both his balls back into position.
"Look," Elisabeth went on, "if there's something you want to do to me in return… it's okay, just go ahead and do it so we can be even."
"It's okay," Scott said again, more forcefully. "I'm…" Scott stopped as an evil thought occurred to him. Elisabeth was too young to legally do the full treatment to, but she hadn't yet been exposed to the horror. He had to be tricky- he didn't want his victim to figure out her gruesome fate until it was too late.
"Actually," Scott said, hoping she wouldn't pick up on anything, "if you want to make it up to me, you could by me an ice cream at Baskin Robbins in the mall."
"Sure," Elisabeth said brightly. Ice cream? Scott was letting her off lightly. If she did that to Brian or Jamie, she'd be forced to be their slave for at least a month.
"Just let me take Kitty to the obstacle course. Then we can go out."
"Why wait?" Elisabeth asked. "Why don't I come along? That way, when Kitty's done, she can drive us to the mall. I can even buy her an ice cream too."
"Great!" Kitty chirped.
"Let's go!" Scott grinned. She had taken the bait.
***
An hour later, Scott and Kitty helped Elisabeth back into the mansion.
"Uhh…" Elisabeth groaned. Her face was pale.
"Do you have her, Scott?" Kitty asked. "Geez- I wonder what was like, wrong with that ice cream? We should sue!"
"Never mind," Scott groaned.
"I'll go get her a Pepto-Bismol or something," Kitty said as she went to the bathroom. Scott scooped Elisabeth, and took her to her room.
"Driving with her was your revenge, wasn't it?" Elisabeth asked.
"Yeah," Scott moaned.
"Oh. Well, then… I take back my apology for throwing up in your car."
"That's okay," Scott managed. "Oh- and we're even now."
"Good," Elisabeth smiled weakly as Scott laid her on the bed.
"At least until I royally kick your arse for this," she muttered after he left.
***
After giving Elisabeth her stomach medicine, Kitty went to her room, where a surprise was waiting for her.
Lance was in her room, sobbing his eyes out. He was holding onto Lockheed like Lockheed was a stuffed animal. Lockheed usually only let Kitty do that. Then Kitty realized that Lance was squeezing Lockheed so tightly that her baby dragon couldn't breathe fire at all- or anything else.
"Lance?" Kitty asked. That got his attention.
"Kitty!" he sobbed as he latched on to her. From behind him, Kitty could see her dragon fall limply to the bed, and take many deep breaths. She phased through Lance so she could tend to Lockheed.
"Lance, like, what's wrong?" she asked as she checked Lockheed over.
"It was terrible!" Lance cried as he latched on to Kitty from behind. "Pietro… Beach Head… dead!" were the only words that Kitty could make out through all the crying.
"Oh my god! Pietro and Beach Head are dead?"
"No!" Lance cried. With difficulty, Kitty managed to sit him down.
"Okay then, Lance, just calm down and tell me what happened."
***
"You should have seen it," Wanda snickered as Peter sketched her.
They were out in the mansion's grounds. Wanda was stretched out on a tree branch, and Peter was sitting on the ground, looking up and sketching her.
"I can just imagine," Peter smirked. He remembered all the frustration Magneto had when he tried to do it.
***
"Well," Lance sniffed, "Shipwreck decided it was time to teach the Misfits how to drive. Freddy, Wanda, and I can, but we're the only ones. It was going just fine for a first lesson, until it was time for Pietro to drive. He wanted to drive my jeep, and Shipwreck let him!"
***
"No, you can't imagine," Wanda laughed. "It was bad, even for him. See, he's never driven a standard before. It was a nightmare!"
***
"He went through buildings," Lance cried.
***
"He almost ran over Bazooka and Alpine," Wanda laughed.
***
"And then he drove my baby through the mess hall…"
***
"Where B.A. was working on yet another delightful seaweed dish…"
***
"Which came to life!" Lance moaned.
***
"And started to chase Lance and my idiot brother around the Pit."
***
"Pietro headed for everybody's quarters," Lance hiccupped.
***
"Where they disrupted Ace's illegal poker game, and somehow started a fight between Leatherneck and Wet Suit over whose fault it was. Leatherneck said it was Pietro, because Pietro was driving, and Wet Suit blamed Lance for not grabbing the wheel."
"Those two don't need much to go at it," Peter laughed.
"No, they don't, and that wasn't even the best part."
"Oh? What happened then?"
***
"Well, Pietro tried to drive- again- and I couldn't stop him," Lance sniffled. "I didn't wanna rock his world, 'cause my baby was banged up enough. He got the jeep around and tried to go forward, but the gear shift got stuck because of how fast that idiot was switching gears, and he finally made us go in reverse at 100 mph!"
"Oh no!" Kitty cried.
***
"Oh yes!" Wanda guffawed. "And guess whose house he crashed into? I'll give you a hint- he's an asshole, and he's obsessed with a teddy bear."
"Beach Head?!?"
"Yup- right when Beach Head was cleaning Sgt Snuffles. Of course, when Pietro crashed through the wall, he got Sgt Snuffles dirty."
"Uh oh!"
***
"Uh oh is right! Beach Head went nuts!"
"What happened?" Kitty gasped.
"Pietro was
smart enough to hightail it out of there, and he took me with him, so Beach
Head took it out on my baby!"
"He attacked the jeep?"
"He started tearing it to pieces with his bare hands!!!"
***
"The jeep still might have still been able to be fixed, even after all that," Wanda finished, "but B.A.'s creation caught up to them, and… well, while Beach Head was tearing one half of the jeep apart, the monster was eating the other half. You can't even fit the largest remaining pieces in a glass!"
***
"And that's how my poor baby died!" Lance sobbed. Kitty was holding him, letting him cry it all out.
"There, there," Kitty whispered soothingly even as she planned to tear a strip off of Pietro the next time she saw him. It was idiots like Pietro that made driving dangerous for safe drivers like Lance and her!
And there's a comic interlude. Our merry mutants are going to value easy times like these, because things are gonna get very bad very soon! Next time, several old friends pay a visit to the Princess Bar and a fight results, so stay tuned for "The Mutant Massacre":
Chapter Three: Tyger Tiger, Burning Bright!