Love
Written by: HoshiHikari4ever
ADVANCE \d 5Disclaimer: I do not own Fy. I do not own the song either "the hardest thing" that is by 98 degrees
Parings: H/M
Please read and Review!
Author Notes: Wow no idea why but I made this chapter into a song fic. Just did that . Tell me what you think of that, of adding in a song once in a while…
Chapter 13 The Hardest Thing
~This is wrong
And baby, its killing me, its killing you~
"Do you understand Miaka?" Taiitsunkun asked once more. Miaka only nodded. "Good, then that would be all…" Miaka nodded again, as if that was her only response. "Don't look so glum Miaka…I'm sure everything will work out. I'm sure that you'll be able to retrive the Shizahos." "Hai…" Miaka turned to leave. "Here Miaka…these are for your Seishi, gifts…" A red orb floated above Miaka. When it disappeared, she was holding all sorts of weapons. "Thanks, Taiitsukun…." The oracle smiled. "Good luck…"
* * *
Hotohori kept staking back and forth, hands behind his back, staring at the floor. He was deep in thought.
Why do I feel so uncomfortable? Why do I feel like something bad just happened. Why do I feel like Miaka's going to reject me. Why, oh why Suzaku am I so nervous, why oh why am I feeling this way? Why do I wish not to find out whatever it is that Taiitsukun is going to tell her?
~ Both of us trying to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be~
"Heika-sama are you alright no da….?" Hotohori did not seem to respond. He just pace back and forth, deep in thought, silently mumbling to himself.
The door creaked open and Miaka walked out. Hotohori instantly stop pacing, to look at her. He stretched his arms, waiting to embrace her. "Miaka…is it done?" She nodded, her eyes watching the floor. She walked up to him, dumped the stuff, into his arms, surprising the emperor, for he had thought he could hold her again. "Miaka?!" he demanded, surprised. "Those are gifts from Taiitsukun, would you mind distributing them for me, I'm kind of tired, I just want to go to bed…." "but Miaka!" "I'm sure you'll understand, we've been through a lot today…." He tried to look into her eyes, but could not. "Chichiri, why don't you take us back now," The monk nodded. "Ok, Miaka, if you say so…"
~ Promises to keep
There's someone else who loves~
Once back at the palace, Hotohori instantly grabbed onto Miaka, wanting to know what happened. "I'm tired Hotohori, really I am…I'll see you guys later…." She pulled away from him, before heading off to her room. "Miaka!" She did not stop, instead, she picked up pace and begain to run away. "MIAKA!!!" The emperor yelled, wanting to chase after her, but his feet seem rooted to the floor. All he could do was yell her name. Finally, Miaka's form disappeared, leaving the emperor stiff to the floor.
The Seishi looked at Miaka's shadowy form, which had disappeared. They looked at the emperor, who had a confused, shock face, obviously not expecting this.
Finally the emperor spoke. "Take these, I'll go and check up on her…."
~ And trusted me fast asleep
I've made up my mind, there is no turning back~
* * *
Miaka pounded and kicked on her bed. She didn't understand anything, but knew it was the best. She cried softly on her pillow, longing to be embraced and comforted.
A knock on the door. Miaka quickly pulled the covers on top of her, and shut her eyes, to pretend to be sleeping.
~ She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that! ~
Hotohori entered the room. "Miaka tell me what ha….." he stopped seeing her sleeping form on the bed. Walking up to her, she placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Sleep tight Miaka….." he whispered before leaving the room.
Miaka sat up, once she heard his footsteps leave. She wanted to jump up and hug him, but thought better of it.
~ It's the hardest thing I'll ever
have to do
to look you in the eye, and tell you I don't love you~
* * *
Hotohori paced back and forth in his room, from corner to corner, leaving no space untouched.
Miaka what is it? What the hell is wrong? What happened? Do I do something wrong? Why were you so cold to me? Miaka why, why Miaka?
A soft knock echoed him back to reality. "Do not disturb us!" "Alright then, I'll leave…." Hotohori immediately went to open the door. Taking a few strides, he caught up with his Miko, and steered them both inside his chamber.
~ It's the hardest thing I'll ever
have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry~
He gently sat her down next to him on his bed. He stared at her, noting her dry eyes.
Has she been crying? Whatever it is I should be here to comfort her…
He leaned closer to her, wrapping her arms around his waist, while placing his own on hers. "Miaka, what is it, what is wrong?" Miaka fidgeted.
~ I can't let you see what you mean to
me
When my hands are tied, and my heart's not free~
How can I tell you? Hotohori how? We are not meant to be. There is no happy ending to this love, no happy ending at all…
Taiitsukun's words were still ringing in her ears.
Do you understand Miaka? There is no happy ending to any relationship deeper then friends, as Seishi and Miko. You must stop this love from growing between you and the emperor! There will be no happy ending! You are destined to be the Suzaku no Miko, destined to summon Suzaku, but never destined to fall in love with your Seishi! That is not too happen! Never in a thousand years, never, never, never! Your duty is to be fulfilled and then to leave! Falling in love will only bring disaster; this relationship is going to be tragic! Stop it before it is too late. This is fate, this is destiny.
~ We're not meant to be~
When Miaka asked her to be more specific, she only shook her head.
A day will come and you will understand. Perhaps you will find answers yourself, perhaps not. Either way, one day you will understand why, and until then, you must stop this relationship before it is too late.
~ It's the hardest thing I'll ever
have to do
to turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you~
Miaka did not understand now. She said she did, so that Taiitsukun would not continue blabbing about it. Still she suppose that she was right. After all, the oracle never steered her wrong.
"You know you can tell me…" his voiced penetrated through her thoughts. He pushed her onto his bed, leaning on top of her, placing a kiss of her forehead. "After all, after the summoning of Suzaku, I'm going to make you my wife…"
~ We will meet again, fate is a place
and time
so you can get on with your life~
Miaka tilted her head away from him, before pushing him off of her. He withdrew, staring down at her. Miaka closed her eyes, heaved in a deep breath before sitting up. Her eyes locked onto his. Slowly, pronouncing each word, as accurate as she could, while keeping a straight face she spoke, "I'm sorry…Hotohori, but I can't marry you." The emperor's jaw dropped. He searched her face for lies, but could not tell, all he could see was Miaka staring at him, waiting for a reaction.
Miaka stared at him, trying to hold back tears, or at least to look away, but could not. She knew perfectly well, that to make him believe her, was to look straight into his eyes, to make him see that she was telling the 'truth'.
~ I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Shavago all my love I'll be sending~
It hurts so much. It hurts me so much to lie to anyone. It hurts me to lie, especially to you Hotohori. I really don't want to hurt you, but this is the best for both of us, please understand.
"dooshite Miaka? Dooshite, why Miaka why?" He gripped onto her shoulders, shaking her. She pulled away from her once more. She bent over to his ear, and whispered, "because I don't love you anymore…I'm sorry I lead you to believe that I loved you, the truth is I don't, I only thought I could, after Tamahome disappeared, but….the truth is you were suppose to be a replacement…. one that if Tamahome was still here, would make him jealous. "
~ Oh, but you will never know
Cause there can be no happy ending~
Hotohori felt all his dreams, shatter right before him. All his hopes, his dreams came crashing down on him.
A replacement? Only a replacement? I thought it was real Miaka, I thought you loved me. You've been fondling with me haven't you, just wanted to make me happy, and not you. Now when you had enough, you're just going to dump me eh?
~ I've made up my mind, there is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that!~
He mentally smacked himself for thinking that. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he wanted to believe he was fast asleep, perhaps this was a nightmare. Yet, he knew this was reality, and he was not ready to accept it.
Not knowing what to do, Miaka stood up. She couldn't stand it. He was breaking down right in front of her.
~ It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye, and tell you I don't love you~
He's so fragile. So soft on the inside. It hurts to see him like this.
Taking a few strides, she walked out of his room, leaving the emperor to himself.
* * * The next day * * *
"Ohayo Miaka!" "Ohayo Nuriko!" He pulled her aside, wrapping his arms around her, giving her a friendly pat oh her back. "It's nice to see you smiling again." Miaka nodded. "yup, it sure is…." A loud cough interrupted them. Miaka looked up to see Chichiri staring at them. He jerked his head slightly behind him. Miaka gasped. She let Nuriko go immediately. Standing a few feet away was the emperor, watching them.
~ It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry~
"Ohayo Hotohori!" He nodded, walking up to her, stopping when he was a few feet away from them.
Oh no! Hotohori! What would he think? Is he going to mistaken this as the reason I'm leaving him, because it's not, really, Nuriko and I don't have anything going on between us.
~ I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied, and my heart's not free~
Is that why Miaka? Is it because you fell in love with Nuriko?
Miaka saw the questioning look on his face, saw the way his face had darken, but brighten up. The two stared at each other for a while, until Hotohori's gaze left her and landed on Nuriko. "Nuriko, would you mind if I talked to you now?" Nuriko nodded, before following the emperor.
~ We're not meant to be~
Miaka watched as the two left. There was a sigh, that came from beside her. She looked up at Chichiri.
Maybe I should talk to him. He always seems to know what is right.
"Chichiri, would you mind if I talked to you…." "Sure no da…"
* * *
~ Its the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you~
The emperor led him to the pond.
"Alright, Nuriko, What has been going on between you and Miaka?" Nuriko seemed taken aback by the question. He backed off a step. "Nothing, Hotohori-sama…I swear…." "really, then what were you doing at first…." "Friendly morning greeting that's all. We are only friends. Nothing more….nothing more…." Hotohori had on a skeptical look. "and now let's keep it that way ne?" Nuriko gave a confused look. "of course, I mean, who's going be so stupid to take her away from you eh?" Hotohori's face darken, and Nuriko understood at once that their relationship had faltered again. "I'm warning you now, I don't want to walk in on anything, otherwise, there will be no happy ending…" "Hai…."
~ I've made up my mind, there is no turning back~
Man! Something must have happened. The only reason Hotohori-sama may act this way is if he's afraid to lose Miaka, to some other guy.
Nuriko watched as the emperor walked away.
I so feel sorry for whoever it is that ma be caught with Miaka, by doing something a little over then what friends do…
~ She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that! ~
* * *
"Would you mind if I told you a story?" The monk shook his head. "Go on, I'll listen and promise to be a good audience"
"Well there once was a phoenix who fell in love with a dragon." The monk raised his eyebrow. "the two fell in love, and one day this dragon, proposed to the phoenix. The phoenix was taken aback at first, but was very pleased. Then a couple of months later, a very ugly witch came to spoil and curse them. She claim that because they are different, they cannot fall in love and live happily ever after. The witch threatens to curse her, if the bird did not stop the flowing love between them. The phoenix being afraid did as it was told, causing pain and suffering to both." Miaka paused. "What advise would you give to the phoenix."
~ Its the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye, and tell you I don't love you~
"Well, Miaka I think that…." "I think that the phoenix should not have lied to the dragon…." The two looked up to see Hotohori standing there. "If the phoenix truly loves the dragon, then no witch can do anything about it. After all, it was the phoenix who told the dragon that no one can force anyone to change their feelings about someone else…." Miaka's mouth dropped, not believing that Hotohori had heard and understood the story. She looked at Chichiri. "Well, I suppose I'll leave now…especially since I think that phoenix and dragon needs to talk alone…no da…." With that he disappeared.
"Hotohori…I…I…I…" He hushed her, by placing a finger on her lips. "Sh…hush, my little phoenix, " Miaka blushed at being addressed that way. "Does the little phoenix love the dragon…." Miaka nodded. "With all her heart…." "That is all the dragon needs to know, just forget what that witch, what Taiitsukun may have said…." "How did you…." "Do you really think you can keep anything from me?" "No…but we shouldn't Taii…" "I'm not going to ask about what Taiitsukun may have said, that is between the two of you…. If you love me, then nothing matters, nothing should tear this love that we built apart." Hotohori opened his arms and they embraced. "You're right Hotohori, I was so stupid, I was such a Baka to have almost thrown this love away…." Hotohori held her up her chin, so that he could gaze into her eyes. "I promise Miaka, promise that no matter what happens I will always love you. Nothing will stop me from loving you the way I do…." "and I too will always love you. I promise…." The two then sealed it with a kiss.
~ It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry~
"Well, well, well, they've finally gotten back together eh?" Tasuki said, stomping into view. Miaka and Hotohori released each other.
~I can't let you see what you mean
to me
When my hands are tied, and my heart's not free~
"Why are you here, may I ask, you haven't been spying on us have you?" Tasuki shook his head. "Why would I?" he asked innocently, although, he sounded as if he had been here all along.
~We're not meant to be~
"You were here, weren't you?" Tasuki stuck out his tongue. "Maybe…" Miaka went up and smacked him playfully. "Owe!" "That's what you get for spying…." "oh really, I'm going to flame you for hitting me for no reason!" He pulled out his tessen, and flicked it open. Miaka stuck her tongue out. "I dare you to!" "Oh, I will Suzaku no Miko, I will…." With that Tasuki and Miaka ran off, one chasing the other.
Hotohori watched Miaka and Tasuki with a broad smile on his face. He was happy that he had found out the truth that Miaka loved him.
~It's the hardest thing I'll ever
have to do
to turn around and walk away pretending I don't love~
***************************
Done! My first song fic!
What do you think? Is it good? Is it bad?
Author Notes: About Miaka's story. If you haven't figured it out, the phoenix is Miaka, the dragon Hotohori, and the witch Taiitsukun. The reason I chose a phoenix and a dragon is not to represent Suzaku and Seiryuu. In China, the dragon symbolizes the emperor while the phoenix symbolizes the empress. Just wanted you guys to know that.
Please provide comments, and opinions! Feel free to give feedback!
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